“It’s not easy.” She closed her eyes briefly. All she could see was the image of her dad lying on the ground with a bullet hole in his head. It had taken years for her to stop dreaming of her dad dying at the hand of a hitman. Years of racing to save him only to fail over and over again.
When Ostabell’s trial loomed, the dreams had returned. With his subsequent prison sentence, she thought she might be rid of them for good.
It seemed she never would be.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Shawn asked.
“Not right now.” She gave him a weak smile. “I think I need to process first.” She pointed to her temple and twirled her finger around. “This has come as a shock.”
“On top of the shock of finding your mate.” His eyes filled with uncertainty. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Joanna asked. “You had no idea this was heading our way. And I love that you took in Jane when she was a baby. I love that Fiona chose you to be a father because she thought you were the best man for the job.”
“You love me then?” he asked hopefully, and she chuckled despite her jumbled-up emotions.
“I might.” She tugged at his hand and took a step forward. “Let’s go to bed.”
“We should get a couple of hours sleep before Jane wakes up. I’ll explain that we’re going away for a few days. I could always tell her I’m going with you on a job.” He paused. “Do you need to ask for time off?”
They went into his bedroom and Jane climbed into bed, still fully clothed. “I’m going to call my boss in the morning. Trent was instrumental in bringing Ostabell to justice. He’s supported me every step of the way while I fought to find my father’s killer.” Her forehead creased. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to tell him something about the reason I need time off..”
“Do you trust him?” Shawn asked.
“With my life.” Joanna nodded. “He’s had personal experience with Ostabell. I’m one hundred percent certain that when I tell him we might be able to finally unmask the guy above Ostabell, he’ll give me whatever I need.”
“If you trust him, then I trust him.” Shawn slipped under the bedcovers and wrapped his arms around his mate. “I don’t want any of this to put you in an awkward position.”
“I like awkward positions.” She turned around and faced him. “Awkward positions can be very good.” Her eyelids drooped as she rested her head on his chest. “There are all kinds of awkward positions I’d like to get into with you.”
Shawn chuckled, his fingertips tracing abstract patterns on her back. “Once this is over, we’ll have all the time in the world to try those positions. For now, we need to sleep.”
“I am sleeping.” She closed her eyes, waiting for the image of her slain father to appear and chase away any hope of peace. But as she drifted under the darkness of sleep, it didn’t come. Instead, Joanna was surrounded by warmth and light.
Here in Shawn’s arms, nothing could touch her. Nothing could hurt her, he was her protector.
She only hoped that the same could be said about their real lives and the real world they would have to face tomorrow.
Chapter Eleven – Shawn
He’d only closed his eyes for five minutes. Hadn’t he?
Shawn blinked against the light streaming through his bedroom window and ran a hand over his face as he shook off the remnants of sleep.
Next to him, Joanna slept, her breathing a steady rise and fall. Shawn propped himself up on one elbow and watched her, savoring the moment. The moment he’d waited for. His mate was in his bed.
Memories of Fiona’s recent visit crowded in. This wasn’t exactly how he’d expected to spend this morning. When they’d gone to bed last night and made love, he’d fallen asleep with plans to cook pancakes and make fresh coffee which he would bring to her on a breakfast tray so she could have a leisurely sleep-in.
Those plans were now dust, the mystery surrounding Jane exposed.
“You’re staring.” Joanna lifted herself onto one elbow and kissed his mouth. “But I don’t think you are really seeing me.”
He kissed her back, his hand cupping her cheek as his lips moved against hers. “I don’t need to see you to know you are there.”
She chuckled. “Nice save.” Joanna flopped down on the pillow and shielded her eyes from the sun. “What time is it?”
“Time to get up.” He turned to face the small table beside his bed. “It’s just after seven.”
“Okay, it is time to get up.” She swung her legs out of bed and smoothed out her clothes. “Do you have the address from Fiona? Only I’m hoping that we could swing past my place on the way so I can shower and get a fresh change of clothes. But if we’re driving in the opposite direction, I’ll manage.”
Shawn tapped his phone screen and checked his messages. He’d muted his phone when they went to bed and had no idea if Fiona had already sent the address through. “There it is.” He glanced up at Joanna.
“Opposite direction?” she asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“Okay.” She slapped her forehead. “Rewind. I packed an overnight bag. It’s in my car.”
“You did?” Shawn didn’t hide his surprise.
“O’Malley suggested it,” she began as color flushed her cheeks. “He was concerned that since it was a long drive…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Shawn told her. “Do you want me to go downstairs and get it?”
“Sure.” She looked around the room. “My purse is downstairs, too, along with my keys.”
“Come on, we can get some coffee on and maybe have breakfast then you can take a shower and change while I talk to Jane.” He inclined his head toward the stairs. “I’d planned to make pancakes to impress you.”
“You impressed me last night.” She grinned as she followed him down the stairs.
“That does a lot for my male ego.” He went straight to the coffee pot as they entered the kitchen and soon the aroma of rich coffee brewing filled the room. “Keys.”
Joanna grabbed her purse from the kitchen chair where she’d left it last night. Shawn inhaled sharply as he recalled the events that led up to Joanna staying the night. His heart raced in his chest and his breathing became ragged. The taste of her, the scent of her. The touch of her.
“Keys.” She dangled them in front of his face.
“Thanks.” When his eyes came into focus, he noted the heightened color in his mate’s cheeks. He wasn’t the only one with thoughts of last night tumbling around and around.
Focus, his cougar told him. We need to figure out what’s going on with Yvette and deal with the situation. We need to make sure Jane is safe.
His feline side was right. The events of last night would have to be shelved while he focused his time and energy on Jane and Yvette. Even though, until last night, he’d not known the part Yvette had played in Jane’s abrupt arrival in his life, he already felt responsible for her. And very grateful for putting herself in danger to save baby Jane.
Now that he did know Yvette was alive, he felt a connection to her. Despite his fears over losing Jane, he wanted his daughter to eventually know the truth about where she came from. Even if that risked breaking his heart.
Shawn took the keys from Joanna and kissed her cheek before he headed out of the house and into the cool spring air. There was a hint of snow on the breeze, but none was forecast. He sure hoped the snow would stay away long enough for them to make the journey to see Yvette.
I wonder what she’s like, his cougar mused.
It sounds as if Yvette was trying to help people. She was trying to bring this guy Gerald to justice. He gave a short, humorless laugh. I always thought Jane’s mom had died high on drugs or something. She was small as a baby. I figured it was from malnutrition or the effects of drugs and Fiona had chosen us to raise her because I’m a doctor.
We would never have guessed the truth, his cougar said.
Never. Shawn unlocked the car and leaned inside.
Spotting the backpack shoved between the seats, he grabbed ahold of it and pulled it out of the car. As he shut the door, his eyes drifted up toward the mountains. He longed to just disappear into the trees with his mate and run for miles.
Not because he wanted to run away or escape his life. He was committed to Jane and her future. But running wild and free had always given him time to think things through, to process stuff.
Later, his cougar told him. There’ll be time for processing later.
Shawn locked Joanna’s car and went back inside the house. “Here it is.”
“Thanks.” Joanna poured two cups of coffee and handed one to him. “Jane’s moving around upstairs. Will she be all right about me staying over last night?”
“Are you joking?” Shawn asked.
“She’ll be upset?” Joanna asked awkwardly.
“Oh, no.” He shook his head to dispel her fears. “When I put her to bed last night, she was telling me I should ask you to stay. She likes you.” His throat constricted as his love for Jane threatened to overwhelm him. Usually, he could keep his emotions in check, but these last couple of days, meeting his mate and then the threat of losing Jane, had wreaked havoc on his emotional self-control.
“I like her. And I so want to be part of her life.” Joanna came to him and threaded her fingers through his. “As a family.”
Shawn nodded and looked at the ceiling. “She’ll be down in a couple of minutes.”
Joanna kissed his cheek, hitched her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed her cup of coffee. “Do you mind if I take this upstairs? I’ll drink it while I shower and change.”
“No, go ahead.” He reluctantly let go of her hand and she backed away from him as Jane came rushing down the stairs. “Morning.”
“Morning,” Jane sang, a wide smile on her face when she saw Joanna. “Hey.”
“Hi, Jane. Morning.” Joanna’s cheeks flushed pink and she opened and closed her mouth as if she didn’t really know what to say. “Did you sleep all right?” she finally asked.
“I did.” Then her forehead creased. “Although I thought I heard Fiona’s voice. Must have been a dream.”
“Fiona?” Shawn asked. He didn’t think Jane had met Fiona enough times to recognize the dragon shifter’s voice.
“Yeah. You know, the lady who arranges for shifter children to be fostered.” Jane went to the fridge and took out the orange juice.
“I know her. I didn’t think you did.” The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Had Fiona been meeting Jane in secret? Why would she go behind his back?
“I’ve met her a few times,” Jane told him as she sat down at the kitchen table and drank her juice. Joanna hovered in the background in case he needed backup. A small smile crept across his lips before he refocused.
“Did she come to school?” Shawn asked.
“Why would she come to my school?” Jane replied with a question as she often did.
“I… Where did you meet her then?” Shawn placed his hand on the back of the chair and kept his breathing calm. He didn’t know why it bothered him that Fiona had met Jane without his knowledge. He trusted the dragon shifter. With Jane’s life if not his own.
“She arranged for Emily’s aunty to adopt a baby.” Jane drained her glass. “Emily and I were there a couple of times when she visited. Fiona’s funny.”
“Funny is not how most people describe Fiona,” Shawn said with relief.
“She’s all bossy with grown-ups but she joined me and Emily when we had a tea party on the lawn outside. We had all our dolls out. I think she’d have liked to have had a girl. She said she’d never been to a doll’s tea party before.” Jane switched her attention to Joanna. “Have you ever been to a doll’s tea party?”
“A long time ago,” Joanna replied. “And if you and Emily have one sometime soon, I’d love an invite.”
“I’ll ask Emily over and I’ll make you an invite.” Jane turned to face Shawn. “How about tomorrow? I could invite Emily over for dinner.”
“Not tomorrow,” Shawn said, his gaze sliding from Jane’s excited face to Joanna’s.
“I should go and shower.” His mate took the hint and headed out of the room. “I’ll look forward to the tea party.”
“Okay.” Jane looked up at Shawn. “You like her a lot.”
“She’s my mate. I can’t help but like her a lot.” His forehead wrinkled. “That came out wrong. I think I’d like Joanna whether we were mates or not.”
“You look all smiley.” Jane tilted her head to one side and Shawn’s heart squeezed in his chest. A combination of overwhelming love for his daughter and pain that their life was about to be turned upside down cut off his breath.
“I’m happy.” He nodded and pulled out the chair and sat down. “The thing is…I need to go and visit another hospital. I’ll be away for a couple of days.”
“Oh.” Jane shuffled in her chair. “Could Joanna take care of me? She could stay over.”
“Joanna’s coming with me.” He hesitated, trying to read Jane’s reaction.
“Oh.” His daughter looked at her empty glass.
“I might need her help. You know, because she’s a police detective.”
“Oh!” Jane’s expression lightened. “Work.”
“Work.” It was kind of true. He might need his mate’s help in a professional capacity if Yvette did have evidence that Gerald was a criminal. “I thought I’d ask Joey if he would babysit.”
Jane wrinkled her nose. “I’m not a baby.”
“You’ll always be my baby.”
Jane wound her head back. “You and Joanna need to have a baby so that I am no longer the baby.”
“Good comeback,” Shawn replied and stood up. “Pancakes?”
“Yes, please.” Jane got up from her chair and helped him get the ingredients they needed. “Do you think you will have another baby? I’d like a brother or sister.”
“I’d love another baby.” Shawn shrugged. “But Joanna and I have only just met, and I don’t know if she wants children. And even if we do, it doesn’t mean that we’ll be blessed with them.”
“You will.” Jane nodded sagely. “I just know everything will work out.”
Shawn nodded. He hoped with all his heart that Jane was right. However, at the moment he had no idea how things could work out.
If Yvette woke up, it could cause an eruption in their family life.
We need to trust in fate, his cougar said. Fate brought Jane into our lives.
Maybe us finding our mate now is to soften the blow of losing Jane. Shawn didn’t like that thought, but it was like a worm of an idea in his head that would not go away.
Chapter Twelve – Joanna
“Hi again, Joey.” Joanna smiled warmly at Shawn’s friend who had agreed to drop everything and come over to Cougar Ridge to watch over Jane.
“Hi, Joanna. How are you doing?” Joey dropped his backpack by the door and headed for the kitchen. “You look good.”
“Thanks.” She ducked her head to hide her blushes. Blushes that were a little ridiculous since she was too old to get embarrassed about having sex with her mate. Perhaps it was just the fact that she’d only known Shawn for a couple of days that made her skin flush pink.
Or maybe the answer to Joey’s question makes you remember being in bed with Shawn, her wolf told her, which resulted in a fresh flush of color to her face.
How could I forget? Joanna allowed herself a couple of seconds to relive the touch of Shawn’s hands on her body and the feel of him inside her. Deep inside her… Then she pushed her thoughts to one side and brought herself back to the moment. Today was all about Yvette.
“Thanks for coming over at such short notice, Joey.” Shawn gave his friend a man-hug.
“No problem.” He chuckled. “I’m going to get a reputation for being the person anyone calls when they need a last-minute sitter.”
“Oh, yeah, you were the guy who took care of Amber’s sister-in-law and the kids, aren’t
you?” Joanna pointed at Joey and then let her hand fall to her side. “You must be a good friend.”
“We all trust him,” Shawn complimented his friend and it was Joey’s turn to blush.
“I like to help out,” he confirmed. “Mr. Dependable, that’s me.” He shrugged. “Plus, what else do I have to do with my time now that both my best buddies have mates and I’m left home alone every night?”
“Emotional blackmail. I like it.” Joanna grinned and went to stand next to Shawn. “I promise to let this man out a couple of times a week to play pool or whatever it is that you guys get up to.”
“You’re going to let me?” Shawn raised a questioning eyebrow.
“I am.” She smiled sweetly. “I’m used to being in charge. Is that a thing you need to get used to?”
Shawn chuckled. “We can debate that on the way.” He glanced at the kitchen clock on the wall. “Right now, we need to get moving.”
“Is Jane upstairs?” Joey asked.
“Yes. She’s getting dressed. She’ll be down in a minute. I think she’s hoping you might take her to the park. It’s going to be a wonderful spring day.”
“A time for new beginnings.” Joey glanced out of the window, a wistful look on his face.
“You’ll get yours, I’m certain of it.” Shawn half turned toward the stairs as Jane came running down.
“Joey!” Jane ran into the room and launched herself at Joey. “Can we go to the park?”
“Direct. I like it.” Joey hugged Jane. “I thought we could go to the park and then drive over to the sawmill. Sue invited us to lunch.”
“Is it okay with Jake that you’re not working?” Shawn asked.
“He knows when there is a mate emergency.” Joey’s eyes widened as Shawn shook his head.
“A mate emergency?” Jane swung her head around to look at Shawn. “I thought you were going to another hospital?”
“We are. It’s shifter stuff. That’s why we need to go. Because we’re shifters and can handle the case quietly.” Joanna thought on her feet and smoothed over the situation. She only hoped she would be able to do the same for Shawn where Yvette was concerned. But that was a whole complicated mess of trouble that was going to take a while to unravel.
Shawn: Spring (Shifter Seasons Book 5) Page 8