Just A Man (The Porter Trilogy Book 1)

by Shannon Youngblood

  “I’ve been sleeping with Alex Porter.”

  His eyes shot up and his arms pushed my shoulders back so he could look at me. The shock was evident on his face, that is, until the rage slowly took over his features.

  “I came from his house tonight,” I pushed on.

  “I’ll kill that fucker. What did he do to you, Charlie? Where the fuck does he live? I’m gonna drive over there and kick his worthless billionaire ass!” He jumped off the couch, heading towards his jacket and his car keys. I stood and grabbed his arm, willing him to look at me.

  “Danny, he didn’t know, it was an accident. Please, calm down.” I was pushing him back onto the couch. “We had just finished–,” I blushed at the memory, “and I had fallen asleep, when I woke up I was tied to the bed, and I—I—I freaked out. I started screaming and crying. I scared the shit out of him. I should probably call him and let him know I’m ok.” I said as I reached in my pocket for my phone.

  When I flipped it on I had 42 voicemails, all from Alex. There was also a few texts.

  From- Alex Porter (310) 555-7481

  1:39am

  Charlotte! Please answer your phone. Are you ok?

  -A

  From- Alex Porter (310) 555-7481

  1:40am

  I just need two letters from you, O.K.? Please let me know.

  -A

  From- Alex Porter (310) 555-7481

  1:41am

  Charlie, I’m worried. I’m looking up your address right now.

  -A

  From- Alex Porter (310) 555-7481

  1:42am

  I’m coming to your house right now if you don’t respond.

  -A

  It was almost 3am now, which meant he was almost here. I couldn’t turn my phone off, but I couldn’t face him either. The shame and humiliation was slowly replacing the fear and pain I was feeling. I couldn’t see him. I turned pleading eyes to Danny and showed him the text. As soon as he was done reading, he gave a silent understanding nod and went to change his shirt.

  Right when he came out, I heard a car screech to a stop, just outside my apartment. Danny went to the door and stepped outside, closing it behind him. Just like that, Danny took control for me and saved me from having to face more pain and mortification. I stayed where I was, listening and waiting.

  I didn’t hear anything for a long time. I thought I would have heard Alex screaming at him to let him in, but I heard nothing. I knew Danny would never break my trust and tell him what I had just divulged to him, but what was he saying to the man I was quickly becoming too attached to?

  I couldn’t stay awake for even one more second, and, as much as a hot shower was what I needed, I couldn’t find the strength. With Danny still outside, I made my way into my bedroom and crawled into bed with my jeans still on. I was terrified of what I would see when I closed my eyes, but, thankfully, within a few moments, I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

  **********

  When I woke up on Saturday, my eyes were almost glued shut from dried tears. I went ahead and kept them closed and felt my way to the bathroom. I had a migraine from hell and I just wanted a hot shower. I hoped it would make me feel like a normal person. I turned on the tap and waited for the heat to start. When it did, I stepped in, guiding my face under the hot spray to pry my swollen eyelids apart. The brightness of the bathroom had me shutting my eyes again.

  After I finished my shower, I got dressed in my favorite basketball shorts and a tank top and headed out of my room to find my two best friends waiting for me, Danny and coffee. I looked up to the clock, only to see that it was after 1pm. I’d slept for almost 10 hours. I felt refreshed physically, but mentally, I was still on edge. I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach Alex after last night’s meltdown. I guess it would depend on what Danny said to Alex last night and what ended up happening.

  “Good afternoon, baby girl. Did you sleep well?” Danny asked, worry obvious in his voice.

  He looked at me anxiously, awaiting my answer. I knew I still looked terrible, even after my shower. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy and my cheeks were red. I hadn’t had the mental capacity to even do anything with my hair.

  “I actually slept ok, thank you, Danny. Coffee?” I asked.

  He pointed at the pot and gave me a smile. I walked over to pour myself some, immediately feeling physically better with each sip. With my cup in hand, I headed to the other bar stool and sat across from my best friend, ready for my interrogation.

  “So, what happened, Danny? What did you say? What did he say?” I wanted to hear it all, and, at the same time, I didn’t want to know what was said. I was so embarrassed, again.

  “Well, first of all, he’s not happy to hear that you live with another man. He almost strangled me when I came out of the house. It took me a solid 5 minutes to calm him down and explain to him that I didn’t get down with the V.” He smiled at me and winked.

  “I didn’t tell him anything specific about your past though. Shit, I was still processing it myself. I told him that you had it rough a few years ago, and you had some flashbacks while with him. He didn’t take it well and demanded to let him see you. I finally got him to leave about a half an hour later, and, I shouldn’t have, but I promised him I would have you text him when you got up. I’m sorry, love, it was the only way I could get him to leave,” he said, looking at me with pleading eyes. I wasn’t mad at him, at all. How could I be after he took a bullet for me with Porter last night?

  “It’s ok, Danny, I just appreciate you taking care of it. Last night, I wouldn’t have been able to. Although, I’ll never be able to look into his face again, and as much as I love my job, I’m sending him my resignation. I’m too ashamed.” I bowed my head, fighting back the threatening tears.

  “I won’t try to talk you out of it, love. If you honestly feel that way, then I won’t try to stop you, but I think you should sit down and talk to Alex first, before you make any rash decisions. He was quite upset last night.” He walked up to me put my head into his chest. “But make sure you text him soon, I don’t want to be on the wrong end of a broken promise with Alex Porter.”

  I smiled up at him, and he looked down and smiled at me. At this point in my life, besides my mother, I couldn’t imagine being closer to anyone else in the world. He was my best friend above all else, and I was eternally grateful for his love and friendship.

  Chapter 19

  I wasn’t quite ready to text Alex. I knew what I was going to say, but I didn’t know how he was going to react. Actually, I knew exactly how he was going to react. He was going to freak out, and probably drive the hour and a half back to my apartment to try and talk me out of it. I wasn’t going to let him… I hoped. I was so deeply mortified by my reaction last night that maybe he wouldn’t even care. I opened up my phone and switched it on. There was only one text waiting for me this morning.

  From- Alex Porter (310) 555-7481

  3:02am

  Please.

  -A

  I wasn’t quite sure what he meant. Please talk to him? That was probably it. I didn’t think I could, last night or today. I mean, I just told my best friend in the world what had transpired less than twenty four hours ago. How was I supposed to tell the man whom I’ve only known for a few short weeks? Even after eight years, the pain and humiliation felt fresh in my brain and yesterday just triggered the memory even more.

  Cutting off all contact was the best solution to my problem. I wouldn’t have to see the pity and shame in his face… and he wouldn’t have to see my heart breaking. I really was falling for the guy, and hard, but my decision was made, and I would stick to it. I decided an email would be more appropriate than sending a text. I pulled out my laptop and logged into my email, debating what words to say to break communication, but be respectful at the same time. I realized, even though I’d only worked for him for a few weeks, that if someone wanted a reference from him, I didn’t want it to be a poor one.

  To: Alex Porter (aporter@porterindu
stries.com)

  From: Charlotte Hightower (c.hightower@gmail.com)

  Subject: Resignation

  Mr. Porter,

  First, I’d like to apologize for my behavior last night, and for running out on you. I’m truly sorry. Thank you for making sure I arrived home safely.

  I’d also like to thank you for the amazing opportunity with your company. I’ve enjoyed my last few weeks, and hopefully, in the future, we can work together again.

  It’s with a heavy heart that I tell you I will be terminating my employment with you. As much as I wish I could give you the advanced two weeks notice that you deserve, I am unable to do so under the circumstances.

  Thank you again for the opportunity to be your personal assistant. I’m not sure of the process of getting my personal affects and last paycheck, but I would appreciate, if possible, that it be sent to my residence.

  Thank you,

  Charlotte Hightower

  I read it over, once, twice, a third time. My finger hesitated over the send button, but, with a heavy sigh and an exaggerated click, the message was sent. I sat staring at the screen for a long time, waiting for his reply, dreading what he might say, and hoping he might argue with me. After twenty minutes, when I had not received a reply, I closed my laptop on a shrug and went back to the living room. He was probably ecstatic that I had cut ties, so he wouldn’t have to.

  I grabbed my kindle, pulled a blanket over my legs, I sat on the couch. Now that I was unemployed, I would need to start job hunting again. I hated having to rely on other people. I knew that Danny didn’t care, but I did, and I was going to pull my own weight. If my mom taught me anything, it was the value of a hard day’s work. I’d start looking for jobs on Monday, but today was a day to relax and fill in the cracks within my broken soul.

  Two minutes into my book, there was a heavy banging at my front door. I knew who it was, of course, though I wasn’t sure how he had gotten to me so fast. Danny came out of his bedroom with just his PJ pants on and gave me a look. I shrugged at him. He knew who it was as well. Shaking his head, he walked over to the door and opened it up.

  I kept my head down, but I couldn’t help the small grin that came to my lips at hearing Alex bellowing at my roommate.

  “Would you put a shirt on, for God’s sake?” he asked, clearly frustrated at Danny’s state of undress.

  “It’s my apartment and I see no reason for me to have to explain my clothing choices to you.” Danny stated, before closing the door behind Alex and marching back to his room. I knew Danny didn’t want to be in the room for this confrontation, and I didn’t blame him, but I could have used his support.

  “What the hell is this, Charlotte?” he said, flying into the living room brandishing around a printed copy of my email.

  “It’s my resignation, Mr. Porter,” I said, looking down, not willing to look into his eyes, my voice eerily calm, but internally shaking. His presence had a way of calming me and unnerving me at the same time.

  “I realize what it is Charlotte, but why are you sending this to me? You’re not quitting,” he interjected, like the decision was unilateral and I had no say. His arrogance was peaking my irritation.

  “I apologized in my email, Mr. Porter, but I can no longer work for you. You will just have to accept my decision. If you feel that my short notice warrants you to hold my check, I under–”

  I couldn’t finish the words because I was being picked up around my waist and flung over his shoulder and carried into my bedroom, my anger rising in the process.

  “Mr. Porter, put me down, this is inappropriate!” I flailed my legs, trying to break free of his hold, although, if he had let go, my head would have gone straight for the floor. I couldn’t decide which would be a better fate for me.

  “Stop calling me, Mr. Porter. I told you to call me Alex,” he said as he lightly swatted my ass. If I wasn’t so angry, I would have been turned on by his slap.

  When he set me down on the floor inside my bedroom, I walked over to my bed to put some distance between us. I was fuming mad. How dare he come in here and treat me like a petulant child. He was my boss and I quit. Yes, it was short notice, but I quit and that was that. How many bosses showed up after any other employee quit, matter of fact, how many times had Alex personally visited an employee that quit?

  “Mr. Po— Alex. I’m sorry. But I need to ask you to leave.” I crossed my arms over my chest, trying desperately to assert some confidence into my voice and push aside some of the anger. If I got flippant with him, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like the outcome. I didn’t want to anger him any farther, but I needed him to leave. The electricity surrounding my body was coming to life full force and disintegrating my anger, making way for a powerful bout of lust.

  The look he gave me scorched my soul. He was angry, yes, but there was also desperation in his eyes. A look that promised immense pleasure radiated from him and I sucked in a deep breath, while my insides quivered with need. He lunged at me just as I saw what his eyes told me he was going to do.

  I cried out in pleasured shock when he went straight for my lips, crushing me against him. My bare nipples against my tank top were pressed into him, our hearts beating a frantic tattoo in our chests. My anger dissipated completely into pure lust. After the events of last night, I didn’t think it would be possible to feel this strongly with Alex or with anyone. I was a ball of pent up frustration, needing only the release Alex could provide.

  I immediately opened my mouth to allow his tongue entrance. I ran my fingers through his hair and crushed his face to mine. I wanted to crawl into his mouth and live there for an eternity, forgetting my pain and remembering the intense satisfaction he could provide.

  We both flopped down onto the bed with him on top of me. He shifted his weight to the side, so he wouldn’t crush me, but his mouth continued its assault, his tongue mating with my own in a sexual tango. I groaned into his mouth when he pressed his erection into my stomach. Even though my body was pinned underneath him, I didn’t feel trapped as I had last night. His heaviness pressed me into my mattress, warm and cocoon like.

  He moved down and made love to my neck with his mouth. He kissed me with an abandoned fever that left me wanting and panting. My fingers were tangled in his brown hair, tugging him closer to me. When his fingers moved to the waistband of my shorts, I shuddered and flinched instinctively. His tongue left my throat as he looked into my eyes. I saw concern breaking through the passion and lust. He sighed out an exasperated breath and fell onto the bed next to be, spooning my back to his front.

  “I’m sorry Alex. I didn’t do it on purpose. I swear,” I sputtered, tears threatening again. He covered my mouth with his finger and soothed me, whispering words of comfort into my ear. Telling me it was ok, that I’d be ok, and that we’d be ok. I wanted to believe him, I truly did.

  I laid there in his arms for a time, thinking about how nice it was to be held by him. He really was a comfort I was not used to enjoying and I wanted to stay locked like this for as long as I could. This was what I wanted. I knew this wasn’t what he wanted, but I couldn’t stop myself from daydreaming about a future with this remarkable man.

  “I don’t want you to quit, Charlotte,” he whispered, as he continued to stroke my hair. “I want you to stay with me.” His voice sounded sincere and sweet, and it was hard not to take what he was saying as romantic, but I knew what he wanted and I didn’t think romance was part of it.

  “I don’t want to quit either, Alex.” I said as I rolled over to face him, “But I’m so ashamed. I had a complete meltdown on you, and you don’t need that kind of drama in your life.” I buried my head in his chest, trying to control my sobs. I inhaled his scent, letting the calmness wash over me.

  He didn’t say anything for a minute before he took a deep breath and tilted my chin to look at him, “You’re not quitting, and I don’t care about drama. Please don’t quit. I need you,” he exhaled, looking at me with pleading eyes.

  He looked
sad and apprehensive about his confession. I felt my heart lift just a little at his words. He needed me? Like, he needed me as his personal assistant, or he needed me as his fuck friend, or he needed me, Charlotte, the woman?

  “Ok,” I said quietly, hoping he heard me. I didn’t know what I was agreeing to, but I knew in my heart that I’d agree to anything he asked me in this moment. I couldn’t pinpoint what I was hearing in his voice or truly seeing in his eyes, but I knew the hope blossoming within me, and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

  He smiled down at me and took me into his arms, kissing me again, except this time it was gentle, soft, and absolutely lovely. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tugging at a lock of his hair that had fallen out of his hair tie the last time I ravaged his head. He groaned in my mouth and deepened the kiss between us.

  This time, when his fingers slid down to my waistband, I didn’t flinch. He slowly slipped his hand into my shorts and felt around the lace of my panties. I stifled a moan when his fingers found my nub through the material. He ran lazy circles around my clit, all the while kissing the fear out of me. I was so desperate for his touch and for the release that was building within me. He slipped his finger under my panties and slid a single digit into me. With only two more thrusts, I came all over his hand, with his tongue running circles around my lips.

  He held me tight, bringing me down from my orgasm and kissing the top of hair. I focused on slowing my breathing and enjoying the sensation of him laying next to me. I was a little surprised by how easily I trusted him with my body. I had just had a traumatic experience and yet, I was still able to relax and enjoy what he gave me. The pull he had on me was slightly overwhelming, but I would rather be overwhelmed by him than deal with my demons.