by Adrianne Lee
Chad stepped toward her, standing so near she was certain he could hear her crazily beating heart. He lifted his hands and grazed them down her arms. “What did you tell her?”
She swallowed hard. “I stuck as close to the truth as I could.”
She had the sense that he expected she would have done this. Approval radiated from him. He kissed her cheek lightly, and whispered, “Then do the same now and you’ll be fine.”
His advice quieted her churning stomach. She smiled. “I think you’re a good influence on me.”
“You definitely have the opposite effect on me.” Chad dragged her into his arms and captured her mouth with his.
His kiss sugared through her, melting her insides like so much heated caramel, stealing her breath, stirring her desire. She was free to make love to this man and right now, she wanted that badly.
But Chad pulled away. “Isn’t it time to pick up Missy?”
Trepidation chilled her sexual ardor. She started to shake. Chad hugged her again. “Look, I’ll go with you to get her, then I’ll fix us all dinner while you talk to Missy. If she takes the news badly and you want me to leave, I’m gone.”
“Okay.”
MISSY AND SHE SAT in the middle of the sofa. She took the little girl’s hands in hers, caressing them as if she would never get to hold them again. The aroma of toasted cheese sandwiches and tomato soup issued from the kitchen.
Missy’s huge aqua eyes were turned up at her. Barbara swallowed hard and began. “Remember how I always told you that Daddy had gone away when you were just a baby?”
“Uh-huh.” Missy nodded. “You looked and looked, but couldn’t find him anywhere.”
“That’s right.”
“You said he’s always thinking about me and sad and missing me.”
Her throat tightened at the earnestness in her daughter’s voice.
“And one day you’ll find him and we’ll go visit him.” Her eyes brightened. “Did you find him, Mommy?”
Barbara drew a shaky breath. “Well, first I need to explain some other things to you. It wasn’t Daddy who got lost, it was me. I got a really bad bump on my head and forgot everything—even my real name. The only things I remembered were your name and that I loved you very much. I couldn’t find your daddy because I didn’t remember where to look.”
Missy listened with a serious expression, asking the occasional question as Barbara explained about the interstate accident and as much of its aftermath as was pertinent. Always bright, Missy seemed to be understanding more than Barbara had thought she would.
“My name isn’t Jane Dolan. It’s Barbara Jo Dawson.”
A thoughtful frown creased the little girl’s brow. “Is my name Missy Dawson?”
“No, sweet pea, it’s Missy Emerson.”
Her frown deepened, then cleared. “Tommy Leber’s mommy has a different name from his ‘cause she got divorced. Is that how come my last name is different from yours? Did you and Daddy get divorced?”
Barbara blanched. She glanced up to find Chad hovering in the archway. A wayward urge to rush straight into his arms for a dose of courage swept her. He nodded, his expression reassuring her that she was doing okay. She smiled gratefully and felt the butterflies in her stomach settle.
She gave Missy a quick hug. “I have to tell you something that might be really hard for you to understand.”
“I’m not a baby, Mommy.”
After reassuring her that she didn’t ever consider her “a baby” anymore, Barbara told Missy all about her real mother and her grandmother, including the fact that they were both dead. At first the child didn’t seem to realize it was a true tale about her own life.
But as Barbara finished the story, tears filled Missy’s eyes, clinging to her thick blond lashes like plump raindrops, and her bow-shaped mouth puckered with sadness. “Are they in Heaven with God, now?”
“Yes.” Barbara’s throat constricted with unshed tears of her own. She wasn’t certain how much Missy really comprehended about death and Heaven. Or how she might deal with this news. It was overwhelming to Barbara and she’d lived it.
“This belonged to my mom. Your grandmother.” Barbara caught hold of the locket and clicked it open. “This is me and this is Kayleen, your real mommy.”
Missy wiped at her damp eyes with the backs of her hands and peered closely at the photographs. After a long minute, she gazed up at Barbara with a look of awe in her eyes. “She looks like me.” Missy touched the photograph, then gazed up at Barbara again, a sorrowful expression capturing her precious face. “Did she die in the accident?”
“No. But she didn’t know that we had lived, and I couldn’t remember who she was because of the bump on my head.”
“When we go to Heaven can we see them again?” She released the locket and snuggled against Barbara’s side.
Barbara hugged her, gently pressing her cheek to the top of Missy’s head. “You betcha.”
Missy lifted her face and gazed at her with fear in her eyes. “Can you still be my mommy?” Her voice quavered.
Barbara pulled her close and hugged her again. “I’ll always be your mommy, Missy.”
But would she? What legal claim did she have on this child? And what of Marsh? Under the circumstances, would he consider his daughter’s welfare first? Or exact his revenge against Kayleen on her, Barbara?
Her gaze collided with Chad’s, and she knew that she couldn’t control Marshall. She could only be responsible for her own conduct, and she would make this as easy on Missy as she could. She pulled back and stroked the child’s silken white-blond hair. “Your daddy wants to meet you tomorrow.”
Missy sniffled and nodded thoughtfully. “Okay.”
“I hope you two are hungry, ‘cause dinner is served.” Chad grinned at them.
Barbara tapped Missy on the bottom. “Go wash your hands, sweet pea.”
The second Missy was gone, she glanced at Chad. Her insides trembled. “I’m so afraid I’m going to lose her.”
He opened his arms, and she slipped willingly into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head. “Marshall Emerson will only take her away from you over my dead body.”
Anxiety wove through Barbara. Would Chad be so eager to help her once he discovered what Edie and she had done?
Chapter Eleven
“Mommy, look. It stopped snowing.” Missy stood on the kitchen stool, where she’d been helping dry the dinner dishes. She leaned over the sink and wiped the towel across the steam-misted window. “And the moon is shining bright as day.”
Barbara pressed her own face against the chilly glass and gazed out at the night. A full moon spilled across a fresh blanket of snow—which had started falling when they’d picked Missy up from school. Like a pale sun, the moon gave the world outside the appearance of cleanliness, as if the pristine white flakes had banded together in a cloak of chastity that could purify all the evil in life simply by covering it.
If only it could, she thought, pulling back and smiling at Missy. “It is pretty, isn’t it?”
“We’re all done with the dishes. Can we go out and make a new snowman?”
Being reminded of what had happened to the other snowman sent a shiver scurrying down Barbara’s spine. “I don’t know, sweetie, it’s getting very near your bedti—”
“Oh, please, Mommy, please,” Chad piped in, his expression so endearingly pathetic, Barbara laughed.
“How could I resist two such earnest pleas.” Besides, she mused, she would rather have a happy image to associate with snowmen, than the one now lodged in her brain. She hung the dish towel on the refrigerator, deciding she would also welcome the diversion—any distraction, on this night of uncertainty, when she didn’t know what tomorrow would hold for her daughter and her. “Okay, one snowman. Then you’re taking a warm bath and getting to bed.”
“Yippee!” Missy whooped.
But Chad crooked his head at Barbara, his eyes gleaming sexily as if the reference to bed were meant for him and
not the child. Her body gave a silent, honeyed response and her cheeks warmed. She pulled her gaze from his and glanced at Missy. “Let’s get your snow pants and boots.”
Missy rushed from the room.
Shaking her head at Chad, Barbara brushed past him. “I’m not sure which one of you is the bigger child.”
“I’ll show you the difference any time you say,” he offered, his voice full of raspy promise.
Ten minutes later the three of them were outside One deep breath of the crisp clean air convinced Barbara of the merit of this outing. “It seems warmer than it was this afternoon.”
Chad nodded. “And quieter.”
“That’s what I love about snow—it mutes all the rude sounds of civilization.”
He grinned down at her. “Ah, but without the rudeness of mankind, there would be no news. And without news, I wouldn’t have a job.”
“Be glad you only have to write about those vulgar aspects of life and humanity. I’ve worked with them.”
“Really?” He tipped his head. “What did you do before you.became a bartender?”
“Five years ago, I was very idealistic. A mere college sophomore, I intended to make my mark on the world by becoming a social worker. Every chance I got, I volunteered at a homeless shelter.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“But five years in a bar developed my cynical si—”
“Mommy!” Missy shouted. “Aren’t you guys coming?”
Barbara turned to see the little girl had ducked under the police tape and darted to the spot where the snowman she’d built with Mrs. Ferguson once stood. Now nothing more than a misshapen series of bumps beneath the new cover of snow, nothing more than a bad memory, it was newly surrounded by Missy’s myriad footprints.
Barbara drew a sharp breath. Despite her best intentions not to think of the intruder, her mind conjured his scarred face. Her insides quivered. Who was he? What had he wanted in her home?
“Missy, come back here,” Chad called softly. “No one is allowed inside the taped-off area.”
Noticing the yellow tape as though for the first time, Missy pivoted in a complete circle, then stared at her mother. “How come it’s taped?”
Barbara’s chest tightened. Perhaps this hadn’t been such a great idea after all. “Come here and I’ll explain.”
She flicked a worried glance at Chad. How could she explain and yet not frighten Missy?
The child crunched through the snow, scattering more evidence of her presence across an even greater area. As she reached Barbara she asked again about the tape. “What is it?”
Missy could read, but Barbara doubted she understood the meaning of the words. “The police put it there.”
“Why?”
“I—”
“We don’t know, sweetheart. But we aren’t going to let it ruin our fun, are we?” Chad scooped his hands full of soft snow and tossed it at Missy.
She giggled and chased after him. He led her to the opposite side of the building. Apparently lying to children was okay with Chad Ryker in selected instances, Barbara surmised, following.
She caught up with them as Chad let Missy overtake him. He pretended to trip and pulled the little girl to the ground with him, both of them laughing, their glee bouncing off the silent night and straight into Barbara’s heart.
It struck her that someone looking out at them might mistake them for any normal family, and the wayward notion saddened her. Chad’s mother had soured him on marriage. He might never have a family of his own. And soon even she and Missy would no longer be a family unitnot as they had been.
Barbara shoved that thought away. Why waste this night imagining the future without Missy? There would be time enough to grieve once Marsh asserted his parental rights. Too much time, then. She bent down and gathered a scoop of snow between her hands. “Hey, you two, do I have to build Frosty all by myself?”
The snow, just wet enough to be of excellent packing consistency, was quickly rolled from a small ball into one of giant proportions. Grunting and groaning, she and Chad made a great game of lifting the middle onto the bottom portion. Then he and Missy shaped the head, sculpting a nose and mouth, while she packed snow between the three sections, cementing them together.
“She needs eyes,” Missy declared.
“She?” Chad questioned.
“Yeah, she looks like Mrs. Ferguson.”
Barbara and Chad laughed, then began searching their pockets for something to use as eyes. Chad came up with two black cough drops. He unwrapped them and lifted Missy so she could poke them into place, then lowered her to her feet.
Beaming, Missy stepped back to admire their creation. “She’s perfect.”
Chad bowed at the waist. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. F.”
Missy was still giggling over his antics when they returned to the apartment for hot chocolate, and Barbara realized the little girl’s laugh reminded her of Kayleen. The unexpected memory both jarred and warmed her.
After her bath, Missy fell asleep halfway through her story. Barbara kissed her on the forehead, double-checked the window lock, and left the room.
Missy’s resemblance to Kayleen continued to haunt her. She supposed it was because it was only sinking in that she’d lost her mother and sister forever. She’d spent five years not knowing whether she had family. But always, hope had blazed in her heart. With that snuffed out, grief hovered at the edges of her mind, held at bay by sheer willpower.and the conviction that, once unleashed, that grief would stymie her emotionally.
She couldn’t afford to dwell on her loss. But one look at Chad’s face told her he wanted to discuss that very subject.
“I REFILLED OUR CUPS.” Chad handed a mug of cocoa to Barbara as she entered the kitchen. She looked ready to fold. It had been a hell of a day. But she’d come through it like a trouper. He suspected she was running on pure adrenaline at this point. He’d done that often enough—covering some intense story or other that had kept him wide-awake and pumping on all cylinders for hours past the endurance of most mortals.
He also knew what it was like to crash after such an experience. She held the cup between both hands as if the heat of the ceramic could warm her. She ought to be in bed. Trying to sleep. He should insist on that, but right now, they needed to talk. He pulled out a chair for her. “Sit and drink.”
She set the cup on the table, dropped onto the seat and lifted her hair off her neck, letting it fall enticingly around her face. He longed to reach across and stroke those silken tresses. Instead, he sat next to her, determined to keep his mind on the problem at hand. “I know you’re beat. And I’d let this go for another time, if I could.”
“Let what go?” She curled her fingers around the mug again and stared blankly at its contents.
Chad wanted to take her in his arms and warm her from the inside out. He settled for stroking a finger across her knuckles. She lifted her gaze to his questioningly. He licked his lips. “I didn’t want to ask you in front of Edie, or discuss this before you had your talk with Missy. One problem at a time, you said.”
“Another problem?” She sounded as though one more complication would be laughable at this point.
“No. The same old problem.” He took a sip of his hot chocolate. “Something set you and your family on the run from Marshall Emerson. Have you remembered what it was?”
She blew out a breath and rolled her neck. “Actually, right before I saw Elvis and Marshall on the street today, I had a vivid memory. Kayleen, Missy, Mom and I were at my mother’s house in Bellevue. In the library.”
She seemed to realize she was giving him unnecessary details, stopped, took a long swallow from her cup, then continued. “Kayleen had discovered something in an old journal of Marshall’s that she claimed would get her a healthy divorce settlement, while stripping Marsh of his medical license and maybe landing him in jail for life.”
“Good God.” Here it was, finally. The story he’d come looking for. Chad leaned toward her. “What
did he do? When did he do it?”
Barbara shook her head. “She wouldn’t tell us.”
He couldn’t believe it. Would every lead be a dead end? “Why not?”
“She said the less we knew, the less threat we’d be to Marshall.”
“But as long as he thought you knew something, you were just as much a threat.”
“Exactly. That’s what terrified us. That’s why Mom and I went along with Kayleen, why we allowed ourselves to be swept into her hysteria. That and Dad’s being killed by that carjacker. Murder had touched our lives once and we truly believed it could again.” She realized with a jolt, that it had touched her life again. Her stomach ached as though filled with ice.
Chad lurched back against the chair. “Why didn’t you just go to the authorities? Why run away?”
She played with her hair again, distracting him. “Because Kayleen feared Marshall would kill us all before the police could commence an investigation.”
“And you believed that?”
“They never caught the man who killed my dad. Our distrust of the local police, right or wrong, was founded on how they mishandled that case from the get-go. We had to protect ourselves before launching an attack on Marshall.”
“But how could you ensure he wouldn’t find you?” Chad sipped the cocoa.
“We couldn’t. But we could cover our tracks and hope he didn’t find some way to pick them up. We went to the airport and bought tickets on Kayleen’s credit card for three different destinations, then caught that fateful bus.”
Her expression sobered. “The bus was supposed to take us as far as Billings, where we were picking up a car from an old friend of my dad’s. Then we were going to drive to a small town in Idaho, where this friend of Dad’s knew a lawyer. Kayleen was going to turn over the journal pages to him, and we would stay in hiding until Marshall was safely behind bars.”
“Damn,” Chad swore under his breath. “If only she’d confided in someone before you left town.”
“She did.”
That took him by surprise. His eyes widened and hope leaped inside his chest. “Who?”