Hearts' Desires
Page 13
Lauren got mad just thinking about it. How on earth could someone lucky enough to find such an amazing catch just throw it away? How on earth could this loony woman hurt Vance? At some point of her contemplations, Lauren came very close to marching over to Alison and giving her a piece of her mind.
However, then it occurred to her that this was her lucky break! Vance had been an idiot to run after Alison. She didn’t want him? Well, great, women like her didn’t deserve men like Vance anyway! Women like this Alison-chick should hook up with 90-year old eggheads! Hopefully, this experience had set him straight! Musing about this, Lauren calmed down. She lay back on her bed and started to feel hopeful. Very hopeful, in fact. When Vance got back to the set, she would be there to comfort him and hold him and show him all imaginable pleasures! He would forget Alison in the blink of an eye! Smiling, Lauren dozed off.
The sound seemed to emanate from the heart of gigantic stomping machinery: roaring, shredding, hurting. It was unbearable. Alison tried to locate the source of the horrible noise. She discovered that she was lying on the floor next to the bed, curled up in a fetal position. And in fact, she felt as if she had endured a birth. There was still this banging noise…
O my God, what the hell is going on out there? Out there… Slowly, her memory and her sense of orientation came back. The bungalow, the set. Alison tried to stand up. Every bone and muscle in her body uttered a silent cry of protest, and her head was spinning. The noise was gone for a moment, and she sighed with relief.
But then it started again, accompanied from a voice sounding not pleasant to her at all. Why did everybody always have to roar and shout as if they were in the army?! She blinked, now able to locate the source of the banging. It was her door. And the voice… yes, it sounded like Max… Alison pulled herself together and shuffled to the door. If I look as bad as I feel… She swept her hair back, noticed at the last second that she was in her underwear and grabbed her bathrobe.
“Alison? Thank God! I was about ready to break down the door! We were worried about you!”
“I’m sorry… It was… I was…” She tried with all her might to stay upright and speak clearly AND ignore the overall pain nagging at her. “Think I might come down with something and…. And had a really bad night. I’ll take an Aspirin now.” Or two or three.
“We are about to leave, everything is packed and loaded on the bus and the cars.”
Heavens… She rubbed her forehead. “How late is it?”
“Almost 1 PM.”
“Max, why didn’t you wake me?”
“It’s okay, Alison. We all agreed you might need a little rest. And we thought the noise we made would wake you soon anyway.” Max attempted a reassuring, lighthearted smile, but wasn’t very successful. Nothing was okay. They had postponed the truth until now, but the time was pressing. He couldn’t spare her any longer.
“Alison.” Max sighed. “There is another problem. Vance isn’t back yet. We contacted the police.”
She clasped her hands around the doorframe. The world was spinning again.
O no… don’t say it, just don’t say it!
“He is neither in custody nor in a hospital. We already asked in the pub and restaurants of the village. We cannot initiate an official search yet; a person has to be missing for at least 48 hours according to regulations. We have to wait –“
Alison gasped for air. She might have fainted, if Max hadn’t put an arm around her as precaution. In any case, she was trembling and felt like throwing up any minute.
This cannot happen to you! She reprimanded herself with all her remaining strength. Get a grip! Dammit! You cannot behave like that! In front of everyone!
She inhaled deeply. “Max, we have to…”
Yelling and shouting of the sort she would call head-splitting at the moment, interrupted her.
Max turned around. The next instant, they both understood what Thabo was shouting: “Hey, Vance is back!”
And already the Rover reached the yard in front of the bungalows, stirring up little dust clouds in the midday heat. Alison shaded her eyes and retreated a bit further back into her bungalow, not wanting to show too much of herself in her present condition. Vance climbed out of the car and waved in Max’ direction. “Sorry I’m late! I’m going to hurry now.”
Alison was relieved to see he was ok. But in the next moment her relief turned to anger. He is not nearly in as bad a shape as I am! I almost died from worrying – we ALL did – and Mister Van Sorel is as happy as can be! Just look at him!
“Great, Max,” she said fuelled by annoyance, “now that he’s back from his little joyride, we should see that we don’t miss our flight tonight!”
She breathed deeply again. The anger was a convenient weapon against hangover, she discovered, and let it grow a bit more. Why had she been worried at all? About what? His feelings?!? Ridiculous! Obviously, he was already over it! She had pulled the emergency break just in time!
On his way back, Vance had decided to lock up his emotions in a dungeon. There, they would either wither away or he would kill them. He didn’t need a woman that bad! He could live alone, if he had to. He still had his work; this kept him busy enough most of the time. And if not – there were plenty of opportunities in his business to “ease tension”. Nonetheless, the wall he had built in all haste to close in his emotions was not that strong yet. Now, seeing Alison standing there, half hidden in the shadow of her doorway, it already started to crack. Alison looked so… frail and sad! If she would only take ONE step in his direction! He knew he would run and clasp her in his arms! But – no step. Not even a word.
She had turned around and closed the door.
“Are you okay, Vance?” asked Jake. “We were pretty worried, man!”
Vance forced a smile, that didn’t reach his eyes. “Which lion would eat a tough old goat like me?! – The car broke down and had to be fixed, and I didn’t have my cell phone with me. That’s all. Let me go, have a shower and throw my stuff in the bags, so we can leave!” He marched off to his bungalow.
Max and Jake exchanged a worried look. But for now, the timetable forced them to drop the subject.
Only later, when the crew and cast sat in the bus to Cape Town airport, Jake found the time for a talk with his old friend. However, Vance wasn’t interested at all. He buried himself in his script and pretended to study his remaining sequences with great intensity. At the moment it wasn’t so bad to play a grumpy, pissed-off-by-live-character like Arend Marens, he mused, since he had to work in such a shitty, boring, far-fetched romance crap at all! Vance would have preferred to star in something more violent and action-loaded right now! Maybe the studio would produce another sequel for ‘Desert Heat’? He was just in the right mood to play that evil ex-con one more time!
“Vance? Did you hear me?”
“Jake, sorry. Have to concentrate on my lines.”
“C’mon, pal! I bet you know them back and forth by now and have translated them into Chinese in your head!”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“So listen, instead!” Jake said, and continued with low voice: “Don’t act like two stubborn mules, you and Alison!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Vance turned the page of the script and stared at the next lines, but they might as well really have been written in Chinese, because he couldn’t grasp any of it. His mind was simply elsewhere.
“I’ve known Alison for a long time. And I can tell you, she was damned worried about you yesterday! She was not herself! She--”
“Yes.” Vance glanced to Alison, who sat in the rear, cold, unimpressed and faultless like a marble statue with black sunglasses. He turned back. “I can exactly imagine how she broke down in tears,” he answered sarcastically.
“Vance, you two have to sort this out!”
“There’s nothing to sort out, believe me. I know all I have to know! So stop pestering me about it!” He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.
Fo
r the rest of the ride, Vance didn’t speak a word. At the Airport, he acted cheerful in front of the staff and everyone else, including Alison – but it was only a performance, and not a very convincing one. With that sort of acting, Vance could only fool people who did not know him – not someone like Jake Bertoni. He tried to talk to him again, but Vance eluded him and vanished in the lounge for some cigarettes. Jake decided to have a drink, or two, and ponder a bit about life’s unpredictable courses.
It was already late at night, when the film team arrived at the destination in the Mapungubwe National Park near the border to Zimbabwe. Everyone was tired. After a few basic arrangements, they had quickly fallen asleep in the tent-like accommodations of the game lodge.
The next day passed with inspecting the locations, preparing the sets and discussing the upcoming scenes. More harsh words were exchanged. Everyone was under stress and close to the edge. More so after the producer had called again to remind them of the absolute necessity of finishing the project in time.
Alison was annoyed. For the first time in her career, she had expressed this annoyance in her conversation with the producer. Yerikov was not very amused – and she had hung up. Couldn’t they have filmed these scenes elsewhere? The Karoo had wonderful spots! But no, Yerikov wanted a specific rock formation as background, and for these damned ten minutes, everyone had to be put in danger! This had nothing to do with striving for perfection anymore; it was just stupidity, in her opinion.
On the second day filming began again. After only a few minutes, Alison had an argument with Nora and Lauren was yelling at a guy from the sound crew. It was as if a dark cloud had settled over all of them, ironically just now, when they were about to shoot the romantic final sequence with Luis' and Camilla's betrothal! Even Vance, who always looked at his work as an opportunity to escape – at least for a little while - found it draining this time. The fact he had to stay so close to Alison for so many hours and pretend everything was normal took its toll on him. He tried to convince himself that he did not need, want, or love her anymore, but it just did not work! Every time he thought he had reached some mental distance, there was a word from her, or a movement of her body, which ripped open the wounds again.
When they had to stop early afternoon, because one of the camera filters did not function correctly, Vance used the opportunity to sneak away to the nearby river. He didn’t want to see or hear anyone from the crew right now. He didn’t want to think about anything! If he could only switch off his thoughts!
The river lay quiet in the afternoon heat and glimmered in the sunlight. Vance sat down on a rock near the shore and lit a cigarette. He had stopped counting how many he already had today. But the package was almost empty. Closing his eyes, he inhaled and pressed the smoke out through clenched teeth. It made a hissing sound, like some predator cat.
“Hey, old man!” With a groan, Jake Bertoni lifted himself up on the rock next to Vance. “Let me tell you something - you don’t look good.”
“Well, I’ll save Chang’s team some work then.” It was supposed to be a joke, but the words came out bitter and irritated.
“I’m worried about you, Vance,” Jake continued. “You’ve been living on cigarettes and black coffee the last two days.”
“Maybe I should follow your example and try some Bourbon instead.”
He recognized the dig, but it needed more than that to chase Jake away! He had thick skin!
Vance sighed in frustration and dropped his head into his left palm. “I don’t know if I can pull this off,” he confessed after a moment. “It’s only four more days, but… it seems like an eternity! I can’t get her out of my head, or out of my heart… I just CAN’T, damn it!”
“You survived on the set with that asshole Harker!” Jake replied, trying to steer his thoughts into another direction, if only to stir up his pride!
Vance snorted. “I could punch Harker, when he pissed me off! I can’t – Ah, forget it!”
Jake indulged a silent sigh. “You should come back with me. We’ll have a campfire. Meredith is going to sing some country songs. You know how good she is!”
“I’d rather stay here. Thanks, Jake.”
“But you have to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry. Just leave me alone.”
“It would be better, if you swallowed your pride and talked to Alison, trust me, old man!”
“Don’t you think I tried that?!” Vance tossed the cigarette butt on the sandy ground below the rocks. “I am not going to make a fool of myself again!”
“Vance!”
“Just drop it! I don’t get in your business and tell you to stay away from strippers who later sue you for your last couple of bucks, do I? It’s my life! I don’t need anyone’s advice!”
Jake stood up. He opened his mouth to answer, but thought better of it and only patted his friend’s back and left. Maybe, what Vance needed was a decent kick in the ass, and Alison too for that matter! Jake looked back twice, to see if Vance would join him after all. But the silhouette on the huge boulder was not moving.
Finally, Vance jumped down with the intention of going back to the camp. But then he decided otherwise. He would take a run along the shore; maybe the exercise would take his mind off these damned thoughts about Alison. He started jogging. About 10 minutes later, he stopped near a yellow-reddish rock formation, a bit more exhausted than he expected. Going running on a ‘diet’ of cigarettes apparently was not a good idea. Catching his breath again, he leaned against the sun warmed stone. He could hear water gurgle, but not see anything. Some birds flying up above him and losing drops of water from their feathers indicated there had to be a font or a little pool inside this formation.
A little refreshment wouldn’t be a bad idea, he thought. And since the river was known to have crocodiles, it was not a good place to swim! He searched and finally found a narrow gap between two stones. It was a fairly tiny opening, and for a minute Vance wondered if he would be able to get through. But he managed without problems and eventually found himself by a little natural pool that the water had worn out of the rocks in tens of thousands of years.
The sight was amazing. Water dripped down from above and gathered in a pond. Some plants were growing on the sides of the rocks and hung down like delicate green veils. The sun glinted on the water, where it left the rocks, while the bottom, where it splashed into the pool lay in twilight already.
Beautiful, Vance thought, and immediately wished he had someone to share this gift of nature with … One heedless thought – and the wounds were bleeding again! His first reaction was to leave, now that the magic had been destroyed. But then he decided to take his ‘shower’ anyway. It would feel good after getting fried in the heat all day and running on top of it. Then he would walk back to the team’s game lodge and hopefully arrive after everyone else had retired into their rooms!
He undressed, waded into the pool and stepped under the tiny waterfall. The water was a bit colder than expected at first, and he leaned back against the rock to adjust to the temperature before exposing himself to the water pouring down. The moss covered stones felt like a carpet under his feet. And looking through the shimmering curtain of water before his eyes, the world seemed to change into something enchanted again. The water whispered … …his name?!
The sound startled him. Vance took a step forward and almost lost his footing on the slippery ground. There in front of him, just emerging from the water and the shadows cast by the rocky walls, was Lauren. The water formed tiny ripples around her knees – she was standing in the deepest part now. And apparently she had decided that bathing in underwear would not be as much fun as skinny dipping.
“Uh, that was colder than expected!” she said, and pushed her dripping wet hair back from her face.
“What are you doing here?” Vance hoped for once he was sounding annoyed and grumpy. However the words came out rather shaky and haunted. Besides, it was a dumb question!
“I was worried about you. When I
saw Jake returning alone, I went after you, just in case… Right before I got to your sightseeing spot,” She stepped closer, an incarnation of temptation, “you decided to have a little run.”
Lauren looked around with the seductive innocence she could bring on at will. “Were you going to keep this place all to yourself? It’s far too beautiful for that!” She took another step forward and stood right in front of him. “It’s a paradise. And we are… just like … Adam and Eve, don’t you think?”
Her breasts touched his chest, and her breath caressed his lips, when she whispered: “Everything is so wonderful, just for us!”
“Please, go.”
“You don’t really want me to go …” She caressed him with practiced skill. “Inside you’re begging me to stay.” The water formed little glittering pearls on her skin.
Vance closed his eyes, when Lauren’s hands started to explore more boldly. What did it matter? She offered distraction – a way to forget his troubles for a while. Maybe I should’ve done this right from the start, was his last conscious thought, before he pushed Lauren up against the stony wall and took what she was offering.
The sun had set and the cicadas chirped a noisy concert. Lauren slipped into her shoes, but did not turn around to face her recent lover. She felt uneasy. It had been fun and there was something about having sex submerged in the water! That added a special thrill... But she was aware that Vance hadn’t really been with her. He had gone through the motions, and the physical pleasure, and she had enjoyed his body as well, but his mind had been elsewhere. To her own surprise, this realization didn’t annoy her, but… rather worried her.
Lauren was far too calculating a person, and she had seen far too much in this area to believe in the one true love – or the idea that a spicy quickie could turn in the love of a lifetime. She had never given it any thought. Sex was a means to an end. And if it brought her hot pleasure like today, that was a bonus. Once her partner was ensnared enough to want more and she could start manipulating him bit by bit…then she had reached her goal.