by Naomi Niles
“Are you two fighting?”
I wrinkled my brows. “Son, that doesn’t concern you, okay? You just focus on getting on your bus and doing well in school like you have been, okay?”
He sighed. “Alright, Dad.”
“Good. Now, have a good day, okay?”
“You, too, Dad.”
After his bus drove away, I went home and got ready for work. Sarah’s quitting day was coming up soon, and I didn’t know what we were going to do to replace her. We had been having trouble trying to find someone to fill that role permanently, and when she left, I had no idea what we were going to do after that. The day went by smoothly and afterward, I decided to hang out with Mike. Vinny had some after school activities that he had gotten involved in, so that gave us free time around happy hour, so I met him at one of the bars not too far from our neighborhood.
“What’s up, fucker?” he said as I walked to our table. He was already seated with drinks on the table when I arrived.
“What’s up, man?” I took a seat with no much expression.
“Aw shit, let me guess. You and that Beth chick are still at odds, right? Man, you never told me what the fuck happened anyway, so now that we have time, and Vinny’s ass isn’t around eavesdropping, we can talk. So, what the fuck did she do that was so fucking messed up?”
I took a swig of the Corona, then slid it back onto the table. “I know I shouldn’t be so hung up on this, but I found out something about her past.” I took another swig. “We were out getting something to eat last week, and all of a sudden, this guy walks up to our table. He goes, ‘Hey, Mystique?’ And when he says it, I’m looking at him like, ‘what the fuck?’, you know? I’m thinking he is clearly mistaken because Mystique sounds like a fuckin’ stripper name or some shit. But anyways, she tries to play it off like he doesn’t know what he is talking about, but the guy is adamant about knowing her. Soon after that, she admits to me that she used to be a stripper and the guy was one of her customers or some shit like that.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
He looked to the side as a group of women walked by us. He gave them a sexual glance as one of them returned it to him. “Yeah, I’ma have to talk to her before we leave. You can tell she wants me.”
I kicked his leg, “Come on, man, stay focused. I’ve got a fucking dilemma here.”
“A dilemma? Because she was a stripper?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly it. I mean, come on, you know what kind of girls they are. No morals. Willing to do anything for a buck. Like, I don’t even want to imagine the things she did while she was working. I know the things those chicks did when we went, and I always told myself that I could never date a chick like that. I mean, I didn’t see how guys could come in there and fall in love with them. I still don’t see it, and the irony is that I feel like I’ve become one of those guys.” I shook my head at my backwardness as I took another drink.
Mike laughed out loud at me as my eyebrows furrowed. “What the hell is so funny?”
“You, man. You are hilarious.”
“Why?”
“Let me ask you this. How many perfect women do you know in the world? How many women do you know that have a squeaky-clean past? I’ll wait.” He took a drink of his beer.
“No, Mike, I know where you are going with this, and it’s not the same.”
“Like hell it’s not the same. Look, one way or the other, these chicks out here have fucked or sucked or did some strange shit with a guy or two in their past. The only difference is she got paid for it. Now, just because she was a stripper doesn’t mean she was having sex with those guys because, whether you believe it or not, there are some strippers out there that won’t cross lines. Trust me,” he smiled, “I know that for a fact because I’ve tried it, and they always told me no. So, just because that’s the image they have, does not mean that is how all of them are. Now, I’ve only spoken with Brettnay–”
“Bethany.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Anyway, I’ve only spoken with the gal a few times, and she seems like she is a different person. Now, if you’re going to walk around judging people based on their past, then okay. But, if I remember correctly, your past is not the best. You’ve done some fucked up shit a lot of different times. You weren’t out there stripping, but I know you have a laundry list of women that you’ve run through like a fucking NFL running back.” He laughed and slapped his hand on the table, then took another drink. “Yeah, buddy, you’ve done a lot of dirt, and honestly, it is fucking hypocritical of you to smear her just because she stripped. So what? Did you ask her what she stripped for? Did you talk to her about any of that shit before you jumped the gun? Shit, I know my dollars are putting a lot of these chicks through college, so um, yeah, I think you need to do some more research before you attack her.”
For the first time I could remember, Mike gave me some advice that made sense. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system that helped him think outside the box, but either way, he said what I needed to hear. I leaned back in my seat as Mike fixed his attention on the group of girls that had walked in a little while ago. I knew he was setting his sights on the one that smiled at him. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. I flipped through my photo album and came across pictures of Bethany and Vinny. They looked as though they were enjoying each other’s company, and I would hate to take that away from Vinny. More importantly, I would hate to rob me and Bethany of a future because I was so stuck on her past. I owed her an apology, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it through a text message.
We stayed at the bar for another hour until it was time for me to leave and pick up Vinny. I left Mike at the bar and made my way to the school. I had hoped that I would see Bethany while I was there, but when Vinny trudged out of the school, I had a feeling that she was gone for the day. “What’s up, kid? How was science club?”
“It was okay. We were just prepping for the dissection tomorrow.”
“Dissection?”
“Yeah. We are going to be dissecting frogs.”
My lip curled as I looked at him. “That is nasty. You like that kind of stuff?”
“Well, I don’t like that the frogs die, but I like knowing what is inside of them. I know it sounds nasty, but it is interesting to me.”
“Hey, if you like it, I love it.” I looked towards the building, “Is Bethany gone?”
“Yeah. She normally leaves at 4 pm after the kids leave. She never stays later than that. Why?”
I put the car in drive, “I was just asking for myself. That’s all.”
“Okay.”
When we got home, I fixed Vinny some food, then walked into my room. My phone rang as soon as I laid in my bed. “Hello?”
“Gavin. Hi.”
“Hey, Karen.”
“How are you doing?”
“I am good.”
I made the mistake of calling her a few days ago when I was upset with Bethany. We talked for about an hour, and during that time, I realized one thing: we would never become more than what we were a few years ago. Throughout the whole phone call, all I did was compare her to Bethany. Our connection was unparalleled, and Karen’s sense of humor had changed by leaps and bounds since the last time we were together. I was searching for something that only Bethany had, and after speaking with Mike, I knew that she was where I wanted to be. “Hey, Karen, listen. I thought about what you asked me a little while ago and, at one point in time, I would’ve wanted to give us another shot. But, right now, I don’t think I am willing to give it a try. I think we are too different now. A lot different than we were back then.”
She exhaled into the phone. I would have loved to bring our family back together, and if Bethany weren’t in the picture, despite what I just told her, I think I would’ve given us another run, but it would’ve been for Vinny. He deserved it, but right now, I felt that if I wasn’t going to be with his mother, then Bethany would be the only other woman he would accept, and I was completely okay w
ith that. “Well, I can’t say that I am not disappointed, but I understand. You’ve found somebody else and honestly, in the back of my mind, even with all the bullshit we went through, I felt that we would get another shot at this later in life. But things don’t always go the way I want them to.”
“Yeah. They don’t.” An awkward silence penetrated the phone until I spoke up again. “Listen, I am willing to try your way with Vinny. Maybe he can go to middle school up there in Philly and then head back this way for high school. I mean, I am willing to do something like that if you agree to it.”
“Really? Wow. I never would’ve thought that you would come around and agree to something like that.”
“Well, some things do change, you know? I can’t be the same guy my whole life. We have to leave some things in the past because that is where it belongs. So, with that being said, I am willing to come to a mutual agreement.”
“Alright. Well, let me think about that because I want to make sure the school districts up here are good enough for him because we both know that Vinny is a special child.”
“Very much so.”
“Okay. Well, I guess I will talk to you later… about Vinny, that is. Good luck with everything, Gavin. It was good talking to you.”
“Thank you, Karen. Good luck to you, as well.”
I hung up the phone, and with a smile on my face, I felt like I had overcome an obstacle. For as long as I could remember, I thought that Karen would always have a place in my heart, and she would, but just not romantically. Bethany had filled that spot, and it wasn’t until now that I realized it. Now, I didn’t care about her past. I wanted her in my future, and I wasn’t going to stop until she knew it as well.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
BETHANY
I couldn’t do anything about Anthony because the officer told me that I didn’t have any proof that it was him. It pissed me off because I felt so helpless, and it felt like they wanted me to wait until it was too late. They wanted me to wait until he was lifting his boot from off my face before they could do anything about it. From that day, I kept my pepper spray close because that was the only defense I had if he tried to come for me. For the next couple of days, I kept my head on a swivel, thinking that every time I turned a corner, he would be right there, waiting to hurt me in some way.
I was a completely different person at work, and everyone knew it. It wasn’t just the fact that Gavin wasn’t speaking to me, but it was the fact that my past had found me in Roanoke, and I didn’t know how long it would take before the word got around at my school. Principal Jones was a good man, but if he found out that I used to be a stripper, I felt like he would pull the plug and tell me I had to find another job. The last thing he wanted was for people to know that their children were around a former stripper. It sounded messed up, but then again, I understood.
“Hey, sweetheart. How are you today?”
I rolled my eyes when I heard Derrick’s voice behind me as I grabbed something out of the refrigerator in the teacher’s lounge. “I don’t have time for this today, Derrick. I just want to get my things and get through this day, okay?”
“Whoa, whoa,” he said as he leaned against the door, “I just wanted to talk to you. I mean, I hear you are kind of single now, you know? I knew it wouldn’t be that much longer before you went your separate ways.”
“Really, Derrick?”
“What?” His presumptuous smile irked me as he toyed with his key chain. “I mean, things happen for a reason. That’s what I believe. And you know what else I believe?” He reached for my hand, “That I can make you happy. I know I can. I think you should give me a chance because I’ve waited patiently for you. I’ve shown A LOT of patience, so what do you say? Can we go out? Mystique?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. My heart pounded in my chest like it was ready to leap out. My hands shook with anger. “What the hell did you just call me?”
His smile remained plastered on his face. “Don’t worry; I won’t tell anybody. I mean, I just found out myself, you know? But, I know that we can have some fun together, so why don’t you just give me a chance. That’s all I want. Just a chance.”
I snatched my hand away from him. “You are a jerk; you know that? A fucking jerk!”
“Hey, hey, you might wanna lower your voice. Your secret is safe with me, at least for the time being. I mean, I would hate for somebody to find out about your former career. I know that Principal Jones wouldn’t like that too much. So,” he stepped closer to me, “how about a date? One date and I will forget everything.”
“Blackmailing me? Seriously?”
“Blackmailing is such an ugly word. I think, um, negotiating is a much better term.”
I shook my head, then pushed him out my way and marched through the door. His laughter followed me down the hall as I picked up my pace into a slight jog. My high heels clicked against the floor as I tried to get to my office as quickly as I could without anyone seeing me. I closed the door behind me and then threw my sandwich into the wall as the tears flowed out of my eyes. How did he find out? I paced back and forth with my hands on my hips, shaking my head, thinking that my career here at the school was over. There was no way that Derrick was going to keep that to himself, and I refused to get pinned into a corner just to give in to him. That wasn’t going to happen.
I remained in my office for the rest of the day, afraid to poke my head out in fear that my past had already started to travel around the school. At the end of the day, I opened my door, and no sooner than that, I saw Vinny walking into my office. I forced a smile onto my face when I saw him. “Hey, little man. How have you been doing?”
He put his arms around me and answered, “Good.” After we released, he reached into his pocket and held out a note. “Here; my dad asked me to give you this.”
I took the note from his hand and unraveled it.
“Hey, Bethany. I’ve been a complete jerk lately, and I apologize. I would love to make it up to you and talk more about what came out into the open. I hope you accept my apology; I would love to see you soon.”
Tears rushed to my eyes again, but this time, they were from joy. I gave Vinny another hug, then told him to hurry outside before he missed his bus. Right after that, I texted Gavin and let him know that he could come over tonight if he wanted to.
Afterward, I got in my car and headed home smiling ear-to-ear. It was like everything bad that happened that day was no longer reality. I got out of my car and walked to my door. As soon as I pulled out my keys, I heard a familiar voice. “What’s up, baby?” I looked to the side and saw Anthony emerge from the bushes with a pistol aimed right at my head. “Long time no see, huh? Get the fuck in the house.”
My street was empty; there wasn’t a soul in sight. I stared down the barrel of a shiny chrome pistol as Anthony implored me to open the door. “Come on, now. Don’t make me use this out here. You know I will. Open the fucking door.” I stuck the key into the lock, then slowly pushed the door open. He used his hand to shove me inside and close the door behind me. I stumbled into the living room table, dropping my purse to the ground. The pepper spray rolled out of the opening and stopped near his feet. He looked down at it. “Pepper spray?” he said, chuckling as he picked it up. “If that is all you got to defend yourself, then you are shit out of luck. I think I’ve built an immunity to that.” He slid it into his pocket. “But even still, the shit is annoying when it is sprayed, so I better hold onto it. Take a fucking seat.”
“What do you want from me, Anthony? Why are you following me?”
“Sit your ass down!” His voice penetrated my home and felt like it shook the walls. I did what he asked, sitting down on the couch, quietly. My phone was on the ground near my foot. I covertly slid it out of his sight as he looked around at my home. “This is a pretty nice place you got here, Bethany. Damn. I mean, who would’ve thought that you would leave that shitty ass apartment in Richmond and get yourself a home out here in Roanoke?” He turned his attention t
owards me. “Who’s dick did you have to suck to get this place, huh?”
“Fuck you, Anthony.”
He laughed. “We will get to that, but right now,” he sat down next to me with his gun on his lap, “I want to talk about you. Us. I’ve been following you for a little while now. I know you work at that school up there. What is it? Morris Elementary? I ran into a guy who seemed to have some kind of crush on you. He seemed like a little whiny ass man, you know? So I decided to help him try to get a date with you.” I narrowed my eyes at him as he continued, “So, I told him that you like to… dance.” He winked his eye. “You know, dance… dance. Oh, fuck it. I told him that you used to be a stripper.”
“You told him?”
“Yeah, I told him. I thought it would do well to flush you out of the school early because, from what I’ve seen, you always stayed there a little after the time you were supposed to leave. You’re like a fucking mother hen to those kids there. It is so cute that it is sickening. But, like I said, I managed to find a way to get you out of there so you could come home. I didn’t want to be waiting all night.”
“Anthony! You are going to cause me to lose my fucking job! What is wrong with you?!”
He took his gun and used the barrel to scratch his head. His haircut was low and buzzed. His cheekbones were high, and he had the face of a boxer. His olive colored skin radiated a sense of evil as he leaned back on the couch. “You don’t know how tired I am of hearing people ask me that. What is wrong with me? Well, I think I might have some separation anxiety.” He fixed his eyes on me. “Because my fucking GIRLFRIEND LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT AND DIDN’T TELL ME A GOD DAMNED THING BEFORE SHE DID IT!”
The strength of his voice brought back memories of the times he used to beat me for doing something he didn’t like. I jumped away from him, thinking he was going to raise his fist and send it crashing down to my face at any moment. He laughed. “Oh, shit. You think I am going to hit you, don’t you? You think,” he slowly extended his hand and brushed it against my cheek like he was petting his dog, “I am going to hurt you like I used to, huh? Well,” he removed his hand, “I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about it.” He stood up and paced the room, “Yeah, the thought crossed my mind once or twice, but that’s not why I am here.”