Joanie stared at him in stony silence. Then she said, “I’d hoped we could build a family together, but because of your celebrity, you’ll always be vulnerable to scandal, and you’re right to think I can’t live that way-not in Kansas, and not here at Bride’s Bay.” Desperate to get out of the closed space, she tried to step by him.
Steve put out a hand and wouldn’t let her.
Tears slipping down her face, Joanie pushed him aside. She headed for the stairs and rushed down them, aware he was hard on her heels the entire way.
“Damn it, Joanie, don’t leave me…don’t leave Emily,” Steve pleaded as they stepped outside onto the beach.
Joanie knew, even if Steve—like Dylan—couldn’t admit it yet, that it was going to happen, anyway. So why put off the inevitable?
“It’s the only way,” Joanie insisted as the waves crashed against the shore, echoing the slamming of her heart against her ribs.
“No, it’s not.” Steve stepped forward until they were so close they were almost touching. “And if you would just give me time to pave the way for us, it’ll all work out. I’ll make sure it does.”
Dylan had said much the same thing to her. Only to realize eventually that she did not fit into his world and never would. Joanie’s eyes filled with hot tears as she swept her hair back off her face. “Why can’t you just face it? We can’t be together, Steve.”
Steve recoiled as if she’d struck him. “And that’s it?” he echoed in a harsh tone. “That’s all the chance I get?”
“What’s the point in dragging it out?” Joanie cried in a strangled voice, her heart aching unbearably. “It hurts enough already.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Congratulations on booking the South Carolina Bar Association conference, Steve,” Liz remarked as he entered the hotel one morning four weeks later.
“Thanks.” Steve bypassed the front desk and headed for his office.
“Working round the clock won’t solve your problems, though,” Liz continued, following dutifully at his heels.
The last thing Steve needed was someone else telling him he’d made the biggest mistake of his life, blowing it with Joanie again. “I haven’t been working round the clock,” Steve said as he set his briefcase on his desk.
“No, you’re right,” Liz agreed, dropping into a chair. “You have been spending quite a bit of time with Emily.”
Yes, he had. But, dear God, he missed Joanie, missed her with a hunger and a desperation so great he could hardly fathom it. Joanie, who he would love for the rest of his life. Not, he lectured himself sternly, that this was likely to do him any good. No, some things were just not meant to be. She did not want to be part of his life. He would just have to accept that.
“So. How’s the new nanny working out?”
Steve opened his briefcase and removed the specs for the new Bride’s Bay sales brochure he’d been working on with a Charleston advertising agency. “Fine. She comes in during the day to help Fiona with Emily. Evenings, when I’m around, it’s just the two of us with Emily.”
Liz regarded Steve curiously. “You don’t regret asking Fiona to move in with you?”
Steve handed the specs to Liz for her approval and sat down. “Not at all.” He knew in that respect he’d gained more family. “Emily loves her great-grandmother every bit as much as Fiona loves her. And with five bedrooms, we’ve got plenty of room.”
“How about your heart?” Liz asked. “Do you have room in there for a little forgiveness where Joanie is concerned?”
Steve did not want to be reminded of the single greatest loss he’d ever experienced. He gave Liz an irritated glance. “Joanie made her choice.”
“Joanie reacted emotionally,” Liz said.
Yes, Steve thought. Joanie had acted from the heart. Her deepest feelings and fears were ones he couldn’t fight. “That’s what hurts the most. Knowing that Joanie didn’t believe in me,” Steve told Liz, aware that her attempts to reconcile him and Joanie were only making his frustration and unhappiness worse.
Liz sighed. “Please, Steve. Won’t you give Joanie another chance?”
And put his heart on the line again? Steve shook his head. “Sorry,” he said. “No can do.”
“MY GRANDDAUGHTER tells me you’re thinking of leaving the island,” Elizabeth said to Joanie as the two of them sat down to have tea in Elizabeth’s suite.
Joanie watched as Elizabeth poured tea for the two of them. “Liz is right. It seems the sensible thing to do.”
“Does it?” Elizabeth smiled benignly as she handed Joanie a bone-china cup. “I was under the impression you were very much in love with Steve Lantz and equally enamored of his daughter, Emily.”
“Very much in love” didn’t begin to cover it, Joanie thought. She adored Steve, and she adored Emily. And she had personally demolished both relationships, big time.
“I care about them, yes.” She took a deep breath. Much more and she’d burst into tears, embarrassing them both. She set her cup aside with a hand that shook. “I don’t think I can discuss this.”
It had been bad enough watching Steve handle the news about Emily like the pro he was. Rather than try to withhold the story altogether or give it out in bits and pieces as reporters uncovered it, he’d been straightforward; he’d held a press conference to introduce Emily and Fiona to the world. Irene’s memory was honored and all the legal details were promptly taken care of.
The public appreciated both Steve’s candor and his affection for his newfound family. Hence the story was over almost as soon as it had broken. Which in turn had made it possible for him to return to Bride’s Bay, where he’d settled in and worked diligently ever since.
Elizabeth lifted a quelling hand. “Sit down, Joanie. Please.”
Able to see that Elizabeth was simply trying to help, Joanie complied. She just didn’t have the heart to tell Elizabeth that nothing was going to change the way Steve felt about her. Not after what she’d done. Because if there’d been even a glimmer of hope, the slightest chance, he would have come after her by now. Steve was the kind of man who was used to fighting incredible obstacles to reach his goals. He was the kind of man who fought for what he believed in. Obviously he no longer believed the two of them were meant to be together. And after the ridiculously insecure way she had acted, she could hardly blame him. She’d been a fool.
With a gentle smile, Elizabeth tried again, “Loving someone is not easy. I know that from personal experience. But it’s an endeavor that is well worth the effort, Joanie.”
“I know that…”
“But?”
Joanie shook her head. “I’ve made such a mess of things.” She had gone into her relationship with him with a suspicious heart. Partly because of what had happened before, and partly because of her fear of getting hurt again. So she had held back. And at the first instant of doubt, she’d done what she always did when she felt threatened—she’d looked for a way out.
As ugly as that final scene had been, breaking up with him had been the easy part. Going on without him was what was hard. Because she knew now that she had changed. She had realized it took two people, both doing their level best, to make a relationship thrive. Steve had given her a hundred percent of himself. She had not. And now, too late, she realized she had so much more to give. But that wasn’t about to happen. Not after the way she’d jumped to conclusions—again.
“Then go to him and tell him you were wrong,” Elizabeth persisted.
No. It was over. Much as Joanie didn’t want to face that, she knew she must. She shook her head sadly, wishing desperately there was some way for her to make it up to Steve. “He’ll never forgive me,” she whispered.
Elizabeth smiled. “How will you know, dear,” she asked gently, “unless you try?”
JOANIE FOUND HIM jogging along a deserted stretch of beach. He was wearing shorts and a T-shirt that showed off his swimmer’s build. He’d never looked better, and a tingle of awareness swept through her as he slowed t
o confront her.
Joanie could tell by the wary look in his pewter eyes that this was not going to be easy. But then, nothing worthwhile ever came without a lot of effort, she reminded herself sternly. Heart racing, she slid her trembling hands into the pockets of her Bride’s Bay blazer and edged nearer. The woodsy scent of his cologne clung to his jaw, inundating her with memories of their brief passionate affair.
“Can we talk?” she said.
Steve stared at her for a long moment, then murmured his assent. He sat down on the stairs of the lifeguard stand. Suddenly he cuffed a hand around her waist and hauled her down onto his lap. Breathing deeply, he buried his face in the fragrant softness of her hair.
“If you’re here to tell me you’re quitting, you can forget it,” he said fiercely.
The rough possessiveness in his voice sent her heart slamming against her ribs. Almost afraid to hope that meant what she thought it did, she drew back to look at his face. Reading her mind, he repeated gruffly, “I said I’m not going to let you quit.”
Joanie looked into his eyes and realized this was a good sign. “I wasn’t aware you had anything to say about it.”
“I have plenty to say.” He kissed her thoroughly, then said hoarsely, “I’m at fault here, too, Joanie. I know that in here.” He pointed to his head. “And in here, too.” He pointed to his heart. “I should have taken you to Kansas with me.”
Joanie shook her head emotionally. “No, Steve, you were right. I didn’t have the experience to do what you did.” Her voice caught. “Besides, I know now you were just trying to protect me.”
“I still should have given you a choice.” Silence.
Tears spilled over Joanie’s lashes and caught on the corners of her smile. “If you felt this way, then why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged negligently, then pressed a kiss to her trembling lips. “Call it an aversion of failure. I’d already struck out with you two times. I was afraid if I came to you too soon, before we’d had a chance to recuperate from all that happened, that I’d strike out again and be out of the game permanently.”
Joanie paused. “You’re telling me you have regrets, too?”
“Plenty of them.” Steve sighed, still holding her close. “The first and foremost of which is in not chasing you down and proving to you that there was nothing between me and that groupie the first time you and I broke up.”
Joanie frowned as she recalled that troubled time. So much heartbreak could have been averted if only he had. “Why didn’t you?”
Steve lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles gently. “I think it goes back to when I was a kid. I didn’t want to be left again by someone I loved. You walking out, well, that hurt. When you wouldn’t return my letters or phone calls, that hurt even more. So I put our love aside and moved on—only I never could forget you. You were right when you first accused me of having ulterior motives for taking this job. I wanted to see if what we had was as good as I remembered. I wanted to see if the love we’d felt could be resurrected.”
“And was it?” she asked, looking deep into his eyes for her answer.
“Oh, yeah, in spades.”
Joanie sighed contentedly, then said, “Emily’s presence complicated things.”
“Enormously,” Steve agreed. “But they turned out to be great complications for all of us.”
Joanie wreathed her arms about his neck and kissed him thoroughly, letting all that she felt pour into the lingering caress. “I do love you, Steve, so much.”
Steve’s arms tightened around her. He held her as if he never wanted to let her go. “You’re sure this time?” He couldn’t bear her walking out on him again.
She nodded, then traced aimless patterns on his chest. “I think the real reason I ran from you—from us—both times was that I was afraid things just wouldn’t work out, that I wouldn’t adapt well enough to the kind of fishbowl existence a world-famous celebrity like you lives in, and we’d grow to resent each other, like my parents did. I couldn’t handle that.” She swallowed hard. “My feelings for you were so strong they frightened me.”
“Do they still frighten you?”
“No.” She silenced his doubts and her own with another long, lingering kiss. “I know now that love happens when you least expect it, and that loving someone, building a relationship with that person that will last, is never going to be easy.”
“But the trouble is worth it in the end,” Steve said.
“Oh, yes.” As they shared another kiss, one full of promise, Joanie knew she was exactly where she wanted to be—not just for the moment, but for the next fifty or sixty years. Contentment sizzled through her and was mirrored in the expression on his face. “Especially if it means we end up together.”
Steve smiled. “With everything we always dreamed. And to that end, Joanie,” he said confidently. I have a suggestion….”
“I’M SO HAPPY for you,” Fiona Flannagan said several hours later. Steve and Joanie had just told her they’d patched things up between them. “The two of you make a wonderful couple.”
“Thank you,” Joanie said as she and Steve linked hands and smiled into each other’s eyes. “We think so, too.”
“Hi! Hi!” Abruptly realizing they had company, Emily left the wooden puzzle she’d been reassembling on the living room floor and toddled forward. Chortling happily, she launched herself into Joanie’s arms.
Joanie’s eyes misted over as she held Emily to her, drinking in the baby-fresh scent of her skin and hair. “Oh, I missed you, honey,” she whispered fiercely.
Fiona looked from Joanie to Steve. “So, does this visit mean what I think it means?”
“I asked her to marry me again today,” Steve confided.
Unable to contain her happiness, Joanie smiled. “And I accepted.”
“Wonderful!” Fiona said, clapping her hands in joy.
Emily clapped her hands, too. “Love you!” she said.
Joanie and Steve hugged her warmly. “We love you, too.”
Epilogue
The strains of “It Had to Be You,” played by the small orchestra Elizabeth had hired to mark the occasion, filled the formal gardens. Emily toddled down the carpet strewing flowers, just as she’d been taught. Elizabeth’s great-grandson, Troy, followed with a velvet pillow held aloft in his hands.
Her heart bursting with the happiness she felt, Joanie glided toward Steve.
He had never seen her look more beautiful than she did that day, in a long, white gown and veil.
As they reached the altar, Steve took her hand in his. Together they recited their vows.
“To have and to hold from this day forward…for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…as long as we both shall live.”
“You may kiss the bride,” the minister said.
And Steve did.
eISBN 978-14592-7472-3
MATCHMAKING BABY
Copyright © 1996 by Cathy Gillen Thacker.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or In any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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Printed In U.S.A.
Table of Contents
&n
bsp; Cover Page
Table of Contents
Dear Reader
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Books by Cathy Gillen Thacker
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Epilogue
Copyright
Matchmaking Baby Page 21