by Amy Clipston
Folding her arms over her apron, Marlene watched Rudy as he hit the ball so hard it launched over Neil’s head and flew to the other side of the barn. When Rudy bent at the waist and laughed, Marlene delighted in the sound.
Though she was grateful he had invited her today, she still felt like an outsider. Everyone had said hello to her, but she had faded into the corner as conversations about people she didn’t know filled the air. She couldn’t possibly catch up with the years of friendship and closeness that connected the other members of the group.
While Rudy continued playing Ping-Pong with Neil, Marlene stood and headed outside of the barn. She wandered toward the pasture fence, breathing in the mid-June evening air as the sunset above her stained the sky with brilliant streaks of orange and yellow. She leaned forward on the split rail and watched Paul’s father’s horses frolic in the lush field. She was admiring one of the mares when an arm brushed against hers.
“Were you going to steal my horse and buggy and sneak home while I was busy beating Neil?”
She looked up at Rudy and chuckled. “Of course not!”
“Likely story.” He leaned back against the fence and pursed his lips. “So, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
She blinked. That was the second time in two days that Rudy had called her pretty. Did he truly believe it, or was he simply being kind?
The thought sent excitement fluttering through her like a hummingbird’s wings. After all of these years, maybe Rudy Swarey had finally noticed her.
“Are you going to make me guess?” He rubbed his chin, oblivious to her inner turmoil. “Let’s see. You’re bored out of your mind and you regret your decision to come today.”
“I’m not bored.”
“Ach. But you do regret coming with me.” He placed a hand on his chest. “That hurts.”
“Not exactly.” She turned back toward the horses. “I just feel so out of place. I was born here, but I haven’t lived here for ten years. I barely know anyone, and I can’t compete with the history you and your freinden share.”
“Well, you won’t get to know anyone until you try talking to them.” He gestured toward the barn. “Why don’t you come back inside, and I can introduce you around again?” When she hesitated, he bumped his shoulder against hers. “Come on, Marlene. Please do it for me.”
She looked up at his puppy dog expression and couldn’t suppress her laugh. “Okay.”
“Great.” He held out his hand, and she took it, enjoying the warmth and comfort of his skin. Had she ever felt so protected and cherished when she was with Colin?
The thought left her dizzy with confusion for a moment—but then she chided herself. Stop thinking of Rudy as more than a friend, Marlene!
When they reached the barn, he steered her over to the group of young women.
“Aary Mae,” he said. “Don’t you have relatives in Shipshewana?”
“Ya, I do.” A pretty brunette turned toward them. “I have a few cousins there. I was just there to visit last fall.”
“Really?” Rudy drew out the word. “Well, Marlene lived there for ten years.”
“No kidding.” Aary Mae smiled at her as the other young women gathered around them. “Where in Shipshewana did you live?”
Rudy walked back over to the Ping-Pong table as Marlene began to chat with the other young woman.
When Marlene glanced over at Rudy, he winked at her and returned to the game.
CHAPTER 6
Did you have fun today?” Rudy glanced over at Marlene as he guided the horse down the main road toward the street where her aunt’s farm was located.
“I did.” She nodded with enthusiasm, her face lighting up with a smile. “Danki for inviting me.”
“Danki for coming with me.” He directed the horse onto her aunt’s road. “Did you have a good conversation with Aary Mae?”
“Ya.” She offered an adorable, sheepish expression. “Talking about Shipshewana broke the ice. We wound up discussing all kinds of other subjects, like recipes, sewing, and our favorite kinds of books. The other maed were nice too. I feel like I made some new freinden tonight.”
“Great.” Relief flooded him. Even if she’d only made one friend, then she’d made a connection to the community. Perhaps she wouldn’t feel like a stranger in Bird-in-Hand anymore.
“Why haven’t you dated any of them?”
“What?” Rudy gave her a quick glance before turning into her aunt’s driveway.
“I asked why you haven’t dated any of the maed. They all seem to like you. Aary Mae is really schee, and so is Suzanne. They all spoke very highly of you when I told them you had invited me to come today.” She touched the buggy door as she looked at him. “I’m surprised you haven’t asked one of them out.”
His mouth moved, but he was unsure of how to respond. He’d never once considered asking out Aary Mae, Suzanne, or any of the young women who had been at Paul’s house today. The idea had never occurred to him.
“I don’t like them that way,” he said.
“I’m surprised.” When he halted the horse by the back porch, she picked up her purse from the floorboard of the buggy and turned to Rudy. “I had a really nice time today.”
“I did too. Thanks again for coming with me.”
“Gern gschehne.” She smiled warmly at him, and the tendril of hair that she’d brushed out of her face several times today cascaded down her cheek.
Without any forethought, Rudy reached out and brushed the lock of hair back, anchoring it behind her ear. She sucked in a breath at his touch, and warmth spread through him as he breathed in the flowery scent of her perfume.
When he felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to kiss her, he leaned down and then froze.
What am I doing? We’re not dating! She’s only mei freind!
He shifted away from her and cleared his throat, but she continued to stare up at him—her chest moving up and down as she breathed deeply.
“Gut nacht.” He grabbed the reins and looked out the windshield. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Gut nacht,” she said, climbing out of the buggy. Then she hurried up the back porch steps and disappeared into the house.
Once she was gone, Rudy cupped his hand to his forehead and tried to calm his racing pulse. Then he closed his eyes and tried to even out his breaths.
He had almost kissed Marlene! What had come over him?
When he touched her cheek, he’d felt an invisible magnet pulling him toward her. The thought of kissing her had felt natural, but it was wrong. Wasn’t it?
They didn’t know each other well, and she had even implied that he should date someone else. She’d even stated that she wasn’t sure if she belonged in Bird-in-Hand. Trying to date Marlene would only end in heartbreak.
“I’m losing my mind,” he whispered as he guided the horse back down the driveway and toward the road.
He had to put all thoughts of dating her out of his mind. She was his friend—his good friend—and also his coworker. To see her would complicate things too much, and he’d run the risk of ruining both their friendship and their working rapport.
The horse trotted onto the road where his parents’ farmhouse was located. Rudy knew as he maneuvered toward a stopping point that he had to erase all romantic thoughts about Marlene from his mind.
But somehow, he already knew how hard that task would be.
Marlene rushed up to the bedroom she shared with Anna and flopped on their bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she cupped her hands to her burning cheeks. She was almost certain Rudy had nearly kissed her in the buggy. And she’d wanted him to kiss her!
Hold on a minute, Marlene. You aren’t a teenager with a crush anymore. Rudy is a grown man!
She rolled over and moaned into her pillow. What was she thinking? Rudy was wonderful. He was handsome, funny, kind, thoughtful, and understanding. He was almost perfect. He had become her best friend in Bird-in-Hand, and he’d gone out of his way to make her feel at home. B
ut wanting more than that from Rudy would run the risk of destroying their very special friendship.
After all, they both had long-term relationships behind them that had ended with painful breakups. Why would she want to chance dating Rudy if losing him forever were a possibility?
With a sigh, Marlene leaned forward, stood up, and changed into her nightgown. After brushing her teeth, she returned to the bed and scooted under the sheet.
As she rolled to face the window, her thoughts lingered on Rudy and the fun afternoon she’d spent with him and his friends. She was so grateful for his friendship, and she hoped one day he would understand just how much it meant to her.
She also hoped her friendship meant a lot to him.
A month later, Rudy came up behind Marlene in the tool aisle. “Is that what you call stocking shelves?” he teased.
“Excuse me?” She spun to face him, her hand jammed on her small hip. “You think you could stock it better?”
“I most certainly do.” He reached for the tape measure in her hand, but she waved it above her head. “Give me that!”
“Nope!” She stepped to her right and then her left. “It’s mine.”
“Hand it over.” He went after her, and she squealed when he grabbed her arm. “Give it to me.”
“No! No!” She giggled and tried to free her arm. “I’ll never let you have it! Let me go!” She giggled again.
“Ahem.”
When someone cleared his throat behind them, Rudy spun to find Neil watching with a wide grin on his face.
“Hi, Neil,” Marlene said.
“Hey, Neil.” Rudy did his best to sound casual. “What are you doing here?”
“I just came for my paycheck.” Neil’s grin widened. “Apparently I interrupted something.”
“No, you didn’t.” Marlene stuck her tongue out at Rudy, then hurried to the tape measure display and resumed stocking the shelves.
Rudy resisted the urge to continue their little game. How he enjoyed teasing her and laughing with her!
For the past month, he had done his best to put the notion of dating her out of his mind. Instead, he just relished her company. He cherished the days they worked together since she made them more enjoyable. She brightened up the store with their conversations at lunch, and as they worked out on the floor together, they often found themselves joking around.
Since the first Sunday she’d gone to Paul’s house, she had joined Rudy to visit friends on Sundays when her family didn’t insist she and Anna stay home. Rudy knew their friendship had grown by leaps and bounds, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that they could be more than friends. Still, his worry about losing her kept him from pursuing something more.
“So, could you get my paycheck for me?” Neil asked, slamming Rudy back to the present.
“Sure.” Rudy walked with Neil to the office, where he retrieved Neil’s paycheck from the safe. “Here you go.”
“Danki.” Neil shook the envelope containing the check at Rudy. “You and Marlene were awfully cozy out there, huh?”
“We were just messing around.” Rudy waved off the comment.
“No, it was more than that.” Neil folded the envelope in half and slipped it into his pocket. “When are you going to ask her out?”
“Knock it off, Neil. You know I’m not interested.”
Neil snorted. “You couldn’t be more interested. It’s been written all over your face for weeks now. You stare at her in church, and whenever she’s in the room, she’s got your full focus. Just admit it, Rudy. You’re in love with her.”
“In love with her?” Rudy scoffed. “Now you’re just being dramatic.”
“Is that so?” Neil jammed a finger into Rudy’s chest. “Well then. How would you feel if Paul or I asked her out?”
Rudy gritted his teeth with enough force to flex a muscle in his jaw. The truth was, the idea of another man asking her to be his girlfriend left envy boiling in his gut. He dreaded it whenever he saw one of his friends talking to her at church or at one of their Sunday afternoon gatherings. Nightly he prayed she wouldn’t fall in love with anyone else. And he was completely aware of how immature and selfish his feelings were.
But he couldn’t admit that to Neil or anyone else.
“It’s her business if she decides to date someone. I can’t stop her.” The words tasted bitter on Rudy’s tongue.
“Look, Rudy.” Neil lowered his voice. “Marlene is terrific, and you’d be narrisch to let her slip through your fingers. What are you afraid of?”
Rudy lifted his chin. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
Neil seemed to study him. “It’s been almost four years since you and Laura broke up.”
“Neil, stop it. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Rudy slipped past his cousin and moved out to the stockroom. “I have things to do before mei dat gets back from the bank.”
“Wait.” Neil rushed after him. “Please don’t forget that what happened between you and Laura wasn’t your fault. You just outgrew each other. You can’t let that stop you from trying again with someone else.”
Rudy spun toward him. “Why don’t you worry about your own life and leave mine alone, okay?”
Neil held his hands up. “I’m just saying, Marlene obviously cares about you as much as you care about her. You should tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”
“Are you done?” Rudy nearly spat the words at him.
“Ya.” Neil frowned. “I’m done. I just hope you’re not.”
As Neil headed back out into the store, Rudy scrubbed a hand down his face. He didn’t want to believe that his cousin was right about Marlene. Life would get too complicated if they were more than friends. But how much longer could he deny that his feelings for her were growing each day?
Marlene hummed as she pinned a pair of her father’s trousers to the clothesline and pushed the line out toward the barn. Birds sang in a nearby tree as the July afternoon sun warmed her skin. It was the perfect day, and she couldn’t stop smiling.
She’d enjoyed doing chores with her aunt, sister, and cousin today, and tomorrow she would see Rudy for their Saturday shift at the hardware store. She couldn’t wait to see him again. She hoped he would tease her and make her laugh. They had so much fun working together, even when the store stayed busy from the time it opened until it closed.
“Listen to you.” Anna appeared beside Marlene on the porch and set another basket of wet clothes at her feet. “You’re humming like a maedel in love.”
Marlene stopped humming and glared at her. “I’m not a maedel in love.”
“Ya, you are.” Anna pointed at her. “You’re in love with Rudy. Why don’t you just face the fact?”
“Please.” Marlene picked up another pair of her dat’s trousers and hung them on the line to avoid Anna’s accusing look.
“Clearly, you two are crazy about each other. Why aren’t you dating?”
“He doesn’t care about me that way. We’re just really gut freinden who enjoy each other’s company.”
Anna handed her a pair of their onkel’s trousers. “Well, you can’t keep your eyes off each other at church, and you never stop smiling when he’s around. You tease each other like a couple who has been together for years. You remind me of how Dat and Mamm used to act before she got sick.”
Marlene bristled at the quip as she straightened the wet trousers on the line.
“Don’t you want to date him?” Anna asked gently.
Marlene was stumped by the question. Deep in her heart, she did want to date him. He was everything she’d ever dreamt of having in a boyfriend, but dating would change everything. She and Colin had been good friends, and their relationship grew complicated when he asked her to be his girlfriend. She couldn’t run the risk of upsetting things between her and Rudy when what they already had was so easy and fun.
“He’s handsome, funny, and nice. Why wouldn’t you want a boyfriend like him?” Anna handed her another pair of Onkel Leonard�
��s trousers.
“I don’t think I’m what he’s looking for,” Marlene admitted. “He seems froh living his life as a bachelor. He’s never said a word about dating me, so why would I assume he wants to?”
Anna was silent for a beat as she handed Marlene a white shirt. “If he asked you out, what would you say?”
Marlene turned toward her. “I don’t know. Part of me would be froh, but another part would be bedauerlich.”
Anna’s brow furrowed. “Why would you be sad?”
“Because everything would change.” And change was what scared Marlene the most.
CHAPTER 7
The bell above the front door rang, announcing a customer.
Marlene looked up from the counter and smiled when she spotted Rudy’s mother walking toward her. “Hi, Ada! Wie geht’s?”
“I’m doing fine, danki. How are you doing today, Marlene?” Ada asked.
“I’m doing well. It’s a schee Monday here at Lancaster Hardware and Supply.” Marlene leaned forward on the counter. “Did you need me to find Jeptha or Rudy for you?” She pointed toward the aisle where Rudy had been stocking painting supplies.
“No, I actually came to see you.”
“Oh.” Marlene gripped the corner of the counter as questions filled her head. Was Ada going to fire her? “What do you need to discuss with me?”
“I’ve heard so many wunderbaar things about you that I wanted to come and visit.” Ada’s smile was bright, and Marlene couldn’t help but think that Rudy had inherited his smile from Ada. “Rudy and Jeptha talk about you incessantly at home. They both say you work so hard and that you’re helpful and pleasant to the customers, no matter how busy the store gets.”
“Danki.” Marlene stood up a little straighter. “I appreciate the compliments.”
“Oh, mei sohn thinks the world of you. He talks about you all the time.”
“Does he now?” Marlene looked over to the aisle where Rudy stood and spotted him rubbing a hand down his face, which looked to be stained the color of red delicious apples. She bit the inside of her lip to prevent a giggle from bursting forth. “That’s awfully nice, Ada.”