“Mirabelle.” He said again.
He trailed off a bit then regained his thought process.
“Am I really black to you?”
“Yes. What color are you supposed to be?” I asked.
My mind started racing with different images of Sebastian. If this whole time he wasn’t supposed to be black, but that’s what I saw, how would I react to him in another color? This was seriously weird.
“Black.”
He smiled. I stopped in my tracks. What a prick.
“Carlyle.” Sebastian whined.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you anymore. I really am black. We both are. I just wanted to try to make you smile. You seem like someone who would look a lot better smiling than that scrunched up face you’ve been displaying these past twenty minutes.” He smiled.
My brain didn’t even register the compliment. I was horrible with that sort of thing. Instead, I could only wonder what I looked like to him.
“Am I in color to you? Am I even in color to myself?” I said out loud.
I examined my arms, they were their normal peach. I held out my bangs, they were teal. How weird that I could see them and myself correctly, but nothing else. Carlyle was still staring at me.
“Yes. And I think you are very pretty. A smile does you well.” He blushed.
“You think I’m pretty? What do your women look like around here?”
Another compliment shot down within seconds. He even made it a point to be as obvious as possible. But again, I couldn’t help myself. If this handsome beast thought I was pretty, his women have to be lacking something.
“They look like us, only with womanly features.”
“Ah, makes sense.” I said. It didn’t really make sense.
I wanted to see them and compare myself to them. Not that I would honestly find anything about myself attractive, but maybe I could get some insight to what all these men lately had been seeing in me. Was it complete, utter heartache that attracted them? Did they just long for someone to hold and make better? I wish someone would want to make me better. There had to be someone out there in this world that could look at me and think, ‘I want to make her smile every day.’
I laughed. Carlyle had just said that. And Joe even said that on our date. Sebastian never did anything of that sort. But he did have this odd stare I’d catch here and there. Maybe they were confusing interesting with pretty? Was I even interesting?
“I like your lenses.”
He smiled and mimicked glasses on his own face.
“Oh, my glasses. Thank you.”
“May I try them on?” He asked.
I didn’t want to give them up, quite honestly. My ability to stay upright was on edge enough; I was sure to fall on my face if I lost anymore sight. Besides, I could already tell how he’d look with anything human on him. Picturing him like that, he wasn’t so intimidating anymore. In fact I found him less intimidating than Sebastian; even with all his bulk. I was certain if he had been the one on my ledge that first time however, I would have had a heart attack before those violet eyes had turned maroon.
“You do trail off t a lot.” Carlyle whispered leaning over towards me.
“Oh, sorry. Well I don’t really think blue is your color.” I smiled.
“Is that what your blue is?” He asked.
“Yes. Well, actually, it’s teal. At least I think. To be honest, I’m not sure of anything right now.”
“I understand. If it means anything, I see your colors and ours. They are combined with you.”
“I really am missing out?”
I just didn’t want to believe him. I wanted that to be another thing Sebastian was lying to me about to protect me from the horrible truth.
“‘Fraid so. Our world really is colored in the most beautiful spectrum of colors. Sebastian wasn’t lying about that.”
“There’s a first.” I mumbled; could Carlyle read minds, too?
“It’s not his fault, and technically he wasn’t lying. It’s only protocol.” Carlyle promised.
“So you admit he lied? How do you even know what I’m referring to, anyway?” I raised my eyebrow.
“You asked about the terminology earlier. I am his brother, thus educated in the same sense as he has been. So I know that he told you something other than the truth the first time you met.”
He had this smug look on his face.
“Fair enough.”
“Technically, okay, look: he told you that he gathers information. He can’t gather information from something that isn’t there, so of course he is also your protector. It is not our fault that you humans use that to portray us as something we are not. Besides, in our world, his rank is pretty low. If you fell into a foreign environment with threatening creatures, would you tell them you were of such low standards or that you were important?”
Somehow, I wasn’t sure, but everything he had said made perfect sense. And yet, I was still upset. Sebastian should have known I could have handled the exact words. They wouldn’t have led into anything but keeping this from happening. I couldn’t handle the white lies to comfort me. I was so used to people telling me what they thought I wanted to hear, just to avoid me getting upset, when if they told the truth, I wouldn’t have ever gotten upset over it in the first place. It’s like when everyone thinks they are a mind reader, but in reality, they are so far off it is not even funny. I sighed.
“What’s the issue?”
“The fact that he made me believe he was something, when he was nothing. I was so mad at him for being that thing. After everything-”
“After everything?! I beg your pardon!”
Sebastian stopped right where he was. Carlyle looked anxious.
“Yes. Everything you and I have been through; when you told me you trusted me, when you admitted to all those things knowing you were just doing it to patch up what you said earlier, you should have told me the truth then. You’re not a guardian angel, you’re not even close. You’re just an info gatherer. And I believed the hardest part because I wanted to trust you. You broke that trust.”
“Fine, you want the truth? One of my family members got lost in your world; he had been gone for months. I was sent there to help him come back. My father was supposed to go because he is the leader, but I went in his place. I wasn’t supposed to, but I did it because our mother got very sick. He needed to stay with her.
"That family member was following you, he should be the one you want so badly to call your guardian angel. He should also be the one you are so angry at. But instead you are mad at me for trying to keep you calm. If you just took two seconds to accept that I was only there to help you, then maybe you can finally drop this.
"You can tell me all along that if I had just told the truth in the first place that things would have been better, but Carlyle is right. Had I shown up admitting to just being there for him or for information, you would have never believed me nor given me a chance.
"You must realize that this is the bond you created. I found him and tried to leave you, but your soul connected with me. You wanted to believe in me. You held on to your own lies, Mira. I would have left if I could have. But once there is a bond between a human and one of us, then their mind is open to questions. It’s those questions that can expose us, so I had to try to mend the holes closed. I figured it would be a great way to apologize to you for hurting your feelings, even if I had done nothing wrong. We spent so long talking and, well, you attacked me; that’s when I tried to leave you again but the exodus closed. I was stuck there.
"Since you took me in and treated me well, I figure the least I can do now is to get you back home as quickly and safely as possible. Then, we will be even and then you can get over me.”
When he snorted his last breath, his wings flared up. I saw the true violet in his eyes. He stared at me a few more seconds, blinked, then grunted. He turned and went on walking after shooting a glance to Carlyle.
I was the worst person in the world. There were no words for me to
say in response. I was completely in shock. Sebastian made my heart sink out of my body and through the dry, desolate ground into whatever may lay beneath it.
The last words he spoke stung me the most. He was right. The sole reason I was so angry, more from anything else in the universe, was because I liked him. I possibly cared for him more than I should. And I was angry that this was it. He had been doing everything he could to not let it get to this point, but I was stubborn and hard headed. It wasn’t his fault, it was all mine. Not to mention, his mother. I couldn’t even bear it. I didn’t blame him for anything anymore. I had my own issues that I had no right to take out on him. I was a complete mess.
I wanted to apologize, but the grip on my hand suggested otherwise. He had felt everything I did. Giving him his space, I fell back as far as I could with our hands still locked. Carlyle stayed next to me, as quiet as I was. Sebastian, huffing as loud as possible, was taking us through the Drybucks to get me out of here. I wanted to leave and never look back. I was ruining his life. My own life was enough for anyone to handle.
* * *
We had been walking for what felt like months. I had examined every single part of the road that I could. A while earlier, I had noticed that it seemed to be built as a one way path for a horse drawn carriage, but I remembered him telling me they didn’t use those. I didn’t dare ask, as much as I wanted to.
The trees were finally getting leaves at least. They were all still gray, but it was nice to see life coming back in this land of nothing. My skin tingled when I saw a flower. Then I saw another. There was more life sprouting up. Patches of grass appeared and the cobble stone was fading out. Were we nearing their leader? Was the happiness of getting home creating a barrier against the ugliness I had been staring at for so long?
The trees clumped together and started creating a tight path. The anticipation was starting to get to me. My thumb was tapping against Sebastian’s hand. What were they leading us towards? Or better yet, what was being hidden behind them. It was hard to see anything anymore. I ducked and stopped for a second. A smile lit up my face.
There was grass everywhere. It was a beautiful hillside meadow. Of course it was still in monochrome, but my imagination filled in what I thought their world would look like. I wanted so desperately to see what they saw. Actually, I wanted to be home.
Home. I wondered what Spike and Wilson were doing. Did I leave the window unlocked? Maybe Joe could read minds and go in and take care of them. Then I remembered we invited him to dinner. He was definitely going to crawl in my window and see that I wasn’t home. He was going to think I stood him up. There was no way he’d take care of Spike after that. I'd ruined two perfectly happy lives. I was like a virus infecting everyone with my depression and anger; no matter the denial I had on it myself. It was pathetic. I needed to make it up to Sebastian. He didn’t deserve my guilt and suppressed resentment towards the loss of my mother, especially when he had said his own mother had gotten sick. I had to do it now, before it was too late. So, with a huge sigh, I squeezed his hand. He stopped and looked back at me.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“I know.” He nodded.
“Sebastian, no. I had no idea. I didn’t mean it.”
I was trying not to cry. I had to get the words out. He needed to hear it rather than just assume that was what I was feeling.
“Mira, we have to hurry.”
There was a blank stare on his face. His eyes seemed to be telling me something, but all I could focus on was how emotionless and cold his words were. Aggravation crept back into me. I couldn’t help it. Apologies were not my forte, and yet I had just told him that everything was my fault. If he had heard my thoughts and he knew how I felt, why not accept them? Telling me that he knew was not accepting, that was an icy stab of hatred in that superior sort of way he knew bothered me.
I tried to calm my every fiber that wanted to take off and just run away. The only way home was with him, though. Despite all the hostility, I knew he’d get me home soon enough and then I’d be rid of him and this place. Everything could go back to normal. Joe would get angry that I stood him up. He’d leave me alone after tonight. We wouldn’t even have the decency to nod heads in the hallway or when we saw each other on the back porch. It would go back to just me and Spike. I hoped he was okay; I was starting to worry about him.
“Spike is fine.” Sebastian answered my thoughts.
“How do you know?”
“Because he trusts me, and I just know. Joe on the other hand.. ” He paused to muffle a laugh. He was grinning. I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear it.
“What about him?” I asked abruptly.
“Well, you’re right. He’s not very happy right now.” Sebastian laughed.
“That’s not funny. He’s a nice guy.”
“Yes, I’m sure you know.”
My fists curled up in a ball of rage. Why was he pushing my buttons now? I had apologized already. There was no need to keep antagonizing. Where was Carlyle? He would talk to me like a normal human being. I needed a distraction. The big beast was nowhere to be seen. Where would he have gone? And why would he just take off? I needed him now. Being stuck with Sebastian was making time drag on. We had already been walking for hours, it seemed.
There was a crunch behind me and I jumped. Carlyle was bent down on a knee. Was he catching his breath? Had he just landed from flight? Come to think of it, why was Sebastian walking me everywhere when he could just fly me to their leader? I was sure that would have taken a lot less time. Did he want to drag this out?
The trees started to spread out again and the cobblestone was coming back up. I didn’t understand why everything else was cluttered and full of life in that section and now it was diminishing again. Nightfall had to be coming soon. Were we even close? The sky still seemed bright, but it was just as gray as it had been when I had first arrived. I doubted I’d even be able to notice if darkness came.
Suddenly, Sebastian jerked me to the left. It hurt my arm. I looked up at him and saw we were in front of a road much like the one we had just been on. This place was a labyrinth. How could anyone tell the difference? I squinted and saw the trees were picking up leaves again in the distance. I still couldn’t make out civilization.
“The Mainbucks.” Carlyle sighed.
“We’ll be safe, now.” Sebastian agreed.
“Safe from what?” I whispered.
I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know. If they seemed afraid of something, I couldn’t imagine what it would do to me. I looked to Sebastian who was resting against a tree, then to Carlyle. He approached me and put his back towards Sebastian.
“Nightfall. You’ll be safe, for now at least. It hits the Drybucks first.”
“Where did we come in at?” I asked. I couldn’t help my curiosity.
“That was the meeting point for all our people, the Chalace.” Carlyle said.
I remembered Sebastian telling me about that. I hadn’t realized my memory had gone hazy until then. At least it was getting better now.
“Was that woman I saw one of your own?” I asked Carlyle.
“Nancy?!” He laughed. “No, she is not a woman. She is one of the Minakai’s creatures that protect our sacred grounds. No offense, but clearly anyone can get through an open portal. So she makes sure they don’t get into our cities.”
“No offense, but then why was I let to pass?”
“Good question…the Minakai knows all. He’ll tell us.” Carlyle said.
“Time to move again.” Sebastian said.
He held out his hand. I heard something coming up the Drybucks. It sounded like a gruesome storm. I went to lean my head out, but I was snatched back.
“Are you mad?!” Sebastian whispered.
“No… ” I whispered back.
He took my hand and yanked me away. My arm was going to break if he pulled on it one more time. The pain was quickly forgotten when lightening cracked behind us. I tried to look over my shoulder.
I wanted to see this thing that made them afraid. I had to know.
“Quickly.” Carlyle grabbed me under my arms. “Hold on to me.” He whispered in my ear.
He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his wings around me. I clambered up his body and wrapped my arms and legs around him. I was engulfed in complete darkness in seconds. Everything went silent from the outside world. I only heard me and Carlyle’s breathing. He was holding me very tightly, but it didn’t hurt.
I wanted to turn my head and see if there was an opening where Carlyle’s wings overlapped. It was too dark, though. There was no way there was anything not concealed.
A bead of sweat fell down my back. It tickled. I wanted to move to get it. Could I say anything? If I couldn’t hear anything on the outside then maybe whatever we were hiding from couldn’t hear me. I was afraid, though. My muscles twitched.
“It’s okay to relax.” Carlyle whispered.
“What’s happening?” I asked, thankful we could indeed talk.
“We are being hunted. You must blend into our surroundings. You are not safe in the open.”
“Hunted?” I tried to stay whispering.
“Yes. The Drybucks are patrolled by a protector. Just because Nancy let you pass, does not mean he will, too. We can’t give him any reason to come over here.” Carlyle said.
“Like a treaty? Do lots of humans come into your world?”
“This is not the first time, yes. They are a huge threat.”
I understood now how important fear was to their kind. We needed to never want to follow them. Whatever that thing was, I was terrified of it.
“Can you hear anything?” I asked him.
“Yes, it is passing now.” Carlyle said.
“Why can’t they hear you?”
I tried to keep quiet, but I couldn’t control all of my questions.
“Didn’t Sebastian show you our powers? Don’t worry, we cannot be seen either. We’re safe. I would never let anything happen to you.” Carlyle said.
I pulled my head back and tried to look at his face. The way he said that, the sincerity in it, I wanted to see his eyes.
Monsters & Fairytales Page 18