“Why would I stand against you? If you are going to tell me how things are, then you should probably make sure you actually know them yourself!”
I was highly offended. All I wanted to do was run away. Why did he keep ruining everything beautiful?
“Mirabelle, honestly? In your world he is considered a monster and yet you dote on him as if he were the prince in a fairytale. A monster, the hero in a fairytale, it’s absurd.” The Minakai drifted off.
“Fairytales?” Sebastian asked, looking at me.
“Yes. They’re fake stories of love triumphing over everything. Our kind favors them because we all want that magical, swept-off-your-feet romance, but we know it’ll never happen.”
“Never happen? I thought love was something you all want?” Sebastian asked.
“Want, yes. Have, no.”
“You honestly feel that way?”
He sat upright. Was he offended?
“Of course. To have someone love me the way that is portrayed by all these fictional stories is absurd. I would never expect a man to sweep me off my feet and be head over heels in love with me to save me from an obstacle.” I admitted.
“That’s a terrible way to live.” He said.
“It’s the truth.”
I looked away from him. I couldn’t help it that I was like every other little girl. I wanted someone to love me that much. I knew he was it, but admitting that meant admitting I’d get hurt. I still wasn’t ready for it.
“I disagree. You can have love, and you have love. Just because you chose not to see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You just said this to the Minakai.”
He rubbed the side of my arm to try to calm me.
“What, you spend one day in love with me and suddenly you’re a professional?” I snapped.
“At least it only took me a day to realize the truth. You’re still stuck in fantasy land.” He said.
“How did you live before you met me? You said you don’t even come close to spending a lifetime with just one woman.”
“We don’t fantasize or dream about what we can’t have. We have what we have and the rest is the rest.” Carlyle answered.
“So you aspire to nothing?” I asked.
“We aspire to what is attainable. If a love like that in your world is so, what’s the word, unattainable, then why worry about not having it?”
“Because we want it. I don’t know. Everyone wants their happy ending.” I said.
“Then it is not unattainable.” Carlyle smiled.
We all sat there in silence for a while. I couldn’t focus on anything other than worrying about what they were thinking. I knew they were judging me. I was a stupid human. Sebastian had fallen in love with me and I was denying it right to his face solely because I was afraid. I was leaving. It would be pointless to admit how far into it I was. It would be safer to stay closed off. They could see right through me, though. I was such an idiot.
“Well, I will take my leave, now. Mirabelle, such a pleasure.”
The Minakai stood up and held out his hand in my face. Sebastian and Carlyle jumped up, too.
“Oh.”
I stood up with them and took his hand. When I touched it, he vanished.
“What.” I whispered looking at where he had been standing. “Such a weird fellow.”
“You have no idea.” Carlyle laughed.
He got up and stretched his limbs. I wasn’t sure how to act. I wanted to just walk away. I had just lashed out at Sebastian for admitting his feelings to me when I should have stood up for him. He had deserved that much. But we were alone again, meaning I could make up for it in literal terms. So I did.
I leaned into him and kissed him. He wasn’t prepared, but after a few seconds he put his hand behind my neck and kissed me back. My entire body tingled. I felt much better. It wasn’t fair to be angry at him that I was leaving. It wasn't his fault. If I really wanted to blame him for anything, it would be that he was just now telling me how he felt, rather than all the other opportunities he had. But that was silly to be upset over, as well.
“Your heart craves these a lot.” He said with a big grin and quick kiss.
“Yours doesn’t?” I asked.
“I have never experienced them before you.” He admitted.
“You have never kissed?”
I found it hard to believe his lips had never locked with someone else’s. All the years of his life being capable of it, but not doing it, would have been such a waste. Well, I guess if I really were to think about it, I liked him being my first kiss and me being his.
“A human?” He grinned.
“Good point.”
I took it. It was better than nothing.
He leaned over and kissed me again.
“Come on, you two, let’s go for a swim.” Carlyle yelled, walking back up.
He reached out and took each of our hands. Both of us resisted, laughing all the while. He tugged again and Sebastian and I froze like a game of twister. Carlyle stared at us. I broke and started laughing. With a sigh, he took off towards the water. I watched him scurry up a tree then flip off of it into the middle of the lagoon. It was so clear that I could see right down to his feet from where we were standing. It was just beautiful.
“Our world is full of surprises.” Sebastian smiled. “Come.”
He took my hand and led me to the water’s edge.
“Tell me about it.” I said sarcastically.
“Well-”
“It was rhetorical.” I stopped him.
I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to hear anything more about anything. I just wanted to enjoy the day and be in the moment. Nothing else. Carlyle was splashing around begging us to join him the closer we got.
“Rhetorical?” Sebastian asked when we reached the water. I sighed; there was no getting out of a conversation with these guys.
“It means I stated something that I didn’t want an actual answer from.”
“Why ask then?”
He stepped into the water and splashed some.
“That’s just it, I wasn’t asking.”
I sat on a tree branch. It bent around me like a sweater.
“Okay.”
Sebastian walked over and bent down to kiss my cheek. I stared into his beautiful eyes for a few seconds before he took off into the water, too. I was glad I didn’t have on any shoes. I dug my toes in the white and black spotted sand, making funny shapes. The water came up to say hello to me and erase my canvas. I reached out to it and it fit itself perfectly around my hand. I flicked a few droplets and it seemed to laugh and play back. It was delightful.
It ran off and so I leaned against the tree branch and watched the brothers play. They arched their wings into fins and used them for speed in the water. When they’d hit the bottom, they’d dive up in the air and splash back down very dramatically. It was such a sight to see.
Eventually, Sebastian had had enough of play time. He crawled up the shore and rested next to my legs. With his lower half still in the water, he managed to face me by lying on his stomach. With his hand on my leg, he kissed it ever so softly. I smiled and resituated myself against the tree. Suddenly I felt my bladder push back. Why now?
It’s as good of a
time as any.
((dreams are our reality we refuse to admit))
“Uh.”
I was started to panic. I looked around the oasis for somewhere to have privacy. I really needed a restroom. This was so embarrassing. Where did they go to relieve themselves?!
“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked.
He pushed himself up onto his knees and crawled closer.
“I…well…I need to use the restroom.” I whispered.
“Restroom?” He questioned.
“Yes. There is one in the room back at the Minakai’s castle.”
I tried to my best to hint towards the obvious, but I wasn’t sure what was obvious for him. I had never seen him use the restroom.
“Ah…OH! U
m, touch my hand.”
He reached out to me. I was hesitant. Would the transit affect anything? What if I lost control? Sitting here wasn’t going to get me any closer to a bathroom, though. I closed my eyes and waited for the burn as I touched his soft skin. It came of course, but a few seconds later it was gone. I was standing in the room we had spent the night in.
“Thank you.”
I bolted into the bathroom. There was no time or need to say anything else.
As I washed my hands, I looked into the mirror. I wanted to shriek. My hair was a disaster. I almost felt ashamed for walking around looking that way. I needed a straightener or a blow-dryer, something to smooth out the kinks
I used my wet hands to pat it down, but it wasn’t really working. Then I saw my face. Not having any make-up sat okay with me. I kind of liked it. My hair had to go. Doing the only thing that would flatten the crazy curls, I pulled all my hair over into a low side pony tail. My mom had loved that look on me. She'd said it showed off my colors and curls the best. Tugging on the strand of teal I had under all my black hair, I wiped a tear away.
Looking at the bobby pins on the counter, I tucked them on the strap to my shirt. Then I washed my hands again. I wiped the rest of the water on my hair to keep it down for a while. It was better than before. Anything was better than what I looked like before, though. I turned off the light and walked back out.
“Okay.” I said. “Sebastian?” I couldn’t see him.
“Sorry.”
He called from the ceiling. I looked up to him. He was hanging on one of the hooks, just dangling there.
“Get down!” I laughed.
“Ready to go?”
He flipped and landed smoothly in front of me.
“Not quite.”
I bit my lip. He was very close to me and I couldn’t help but notice that he and I were completely alone. I had to take full advantage of the moment. It would be my only chance. I wrapped my arms around his neck and threw myself on him. He grabbed me and pulled me up.
“Oh, hello.” He smiled.
“Hi.” I smiled back.
We fell back onto the bed. He held himself up over my face, just an inch off. My legs were still wrapped around his waist, keeping the rest of his body close. I wanted to waste the entire day like this. I pulled his head down to fill the gap and kissed him again. When I opened my eyes he was just staring at me.
“What are you looking at?” I asked.
“You. Are you blind?”
He moved my bangs behind my ears and smiled.
“I just wanted to know what made you smile that way.” I whispered.
“The answer is still you.”
He shifted his weight on his elbows. I ran my fingers through his hair, admiring his every feature. He kept getting this smile that seemed to light up the entire room. It made me feel awkward. I missed him and I wasn’t even gone yet. I felt a tear creep up behind my left eye. I was still emotional.
“I don’t want to leave.” I sighed.
“Don’t say that.” He brushed my cheek.
“It’s true! I just found you, how am I supposed to give you up?”
I sat up and pushed him off of me. It wasn’t fair things had to end this way.
“You didn’t just find me. You’ve had me this whole time. Stop with these words.” He said.
He kissed me again. With his hand behind my neck, he pulled me back down on my side. We were facing each other again.
“I just now realized how much you mean to me. Don’t take it away again.” I begged.
I wondered how many times he had done this in the past. Had I remembered them all? I didn’t want to forget him. I was going to have to. It’d be the only way for me to go on.
“I wish you weren’t so in love with me.”
His words hit like shards of glass tearing through me. Why wasn’t he embracing it anymore? Why deny it now, after all this?
“So in love with you? Sebastian, do you think I can just shut this off? Do you think that I can just not be in love with you anymore? Why push for something then tell me the exact opposite the second you get it? I don’t think you understand.”
“Once you are without me-” He tried to soothe me, but I quickly interrupted him.
“Without you? What else is there?”
I wiped my tears off my cheeks. I was devastated. How could it be so easy for him to just dismiss his feelings like that? Something else was going on. He was hiding something. I could taste it.
“Life. I told you and you knew that. You can’t let this stand in the way.”
“What if I don’t want to? What if I don’t leave and I stay here forever?”
“You have to go home.”
“But why?”
“We come from two different worlds. This’ll never last.”
That was the final blow. My heart shattered. I felt the warmth of my love for him leak from the pieces of my broken heart. He scooted up closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. He nuzzled my neck and kissed it. It made me sick.
“Do you want to be with me?” I asked, looking into his eyes.
“Of course I do. I just, I know what’s real.”
He lowered his head and looked at the ground. He was lying. He was a liar. I was tired of this game. He was just making me mad at him so it would be easier when I left. That was the only option. Boys are just as dumb in his world as they were on Earth, it seemed.
“What’s real?! Sebastian, look around! You live in never-never land. I live in America. America is real.”
“To you. But Mirabelle, a day ago you didn’t even know this existed. I always knew you existed. I have been doing fine without you as you will do fine without me.”
He was acting like he was trying to convince the both of us with what he was saying rather than actually meaning it.
“If you only just saw me when you were there for whomever else, how could you know I always existed?” I asked, sitting up.
“What?”
He sat up instantly. His face had this look of bewilderment on it.
“You heard me. You told me that you were there for someone else and you saw me.”
“Mirabelle, I have never said this. Where are you getting this from? I told you I was there to protect you. I was out there for your protection from the burglars. And then I came back because you couldn’t let me go.”
“No. No, you said it.” I whispered.
I remembered it. I couldn’t remember why or how. But it was true. Sebastian had told me that he wasn’t there for me. He was there for Carlyle! Why had I never brought that up before?! Carlyle was my real guardian angel?
“Mirabelle. You are upset and making things up in your head. Let’s get back to the arvey.”
“Sebastian! What are you hiding from me? I remember. We were walking. It was when I first got here. Carlyle, he called you that Morean, and you said you were there for him. Not for me. What happened? Why would I have never seen Carlyle? Why would he act like he didn’t know me?”
I was hyperventilating. I couldn’t breathe. What was going on?
“The Moreans are my uncle’s tribe. They are the true guardian angels. I didn’t believe in the push the Myrians were supposed to do. Their purpose, they are like the good versus evil. They whisper in your ear, they set things in your view, they give you a reason to be good. I don’t believe in that. It’s not right. You humans don’t deserve all the chances you have been given. I’d rather be with the ones who have proven themselves and take them to their place in Heaven.”
I couldn’t blink. Thought and function were lost on me. There were a million things coming out of my head all at once. I was so lost.
“How could you? What did you just say to me?”
“Your kind is selfish and horrid. Carlyle, my brother, he believes in my father and the Myrians. He believes there is hope. You were his last subject. He was taking too long. I was worried about him. I am not on speaking terms with our father since I chose to be with Zer
ach instead of him. But I knew if he was coming to me that it was something important. So I took the mission and went to save Carlyle.
"I saw you. You were perfect. I couldn’t understand how you had managed to put such a hold on me, but you did. It was pointless after that to fight it. Carlyle left, so that worked. But then I was the one stuck with you. And what was worse, you were stuck to me. We belong together. I can’t control anything else. I’m sorry Mirabelle. I never meant to do this to you. Please, you must understand that it was never my intention.”
“Do what? What’s going on?”
The pieces forced themselves back together to form my pathetic broken heart. It hurt. I gasped for air to make the pain go away. I opened my arms and threw myself around him.
“I love you.” He whispered.
“Sebastian!”
I jumped when I saw my hands. He jumped up, terrified. I held my furry claw-like hands in front of my face. This is a dream. This isn’t real. I was turning into one of them. How was that possible? Wouldn’t I have felt it? I had felt nothing but the pain in my chest. Was that it? Did my love create a monster out of me? Had I already changed completely?
“It worked!”
He stepped back, wide eyed.
“Sebastian? What’s happening?!” I was shaking.
“The Zahn. He’s come for you. Don’t resist it!” He yelled.
“Resist what?” I shrieked.
I was terrified. There was a shadow forming behind him. I wanted to throw up.
“Mirabelle, you’re losing it. You have to accept it.” He pleaded.
The shadow turned into a rain cloud coming from the corner of the ceiling. Wind was swirling around us. Lightning and thunder were forming in the cloud. What did I have to accept? I didn’t want to go with that thing. I wanted to go home. It wasn't safe here.
“No!” I whispered.
“Mirabelle.”
Sebastian looked at me with the most pain in his eyes I had ever seen. It was as if I had just let his hand go from the edge of a cliff to watch him fall to the jagged rocks at the bottom.
Monsters & Fairytales Page 26