“Do you want to talk about anything?” Sebastian finally asked. Was he tired of the silence already?
“I want to pick back up where we left off.” I sighed.
“The kiss?” Sebastian’s voice went up a little bit.
“Before that, where you were going to tell me everything.”
“I wasn’t going to, but if you really insist, I will tell you, then.”
He was very gentle now; I wasn’t sure how to take it.
“I’d like that.”
I rolled over and scooted back on the couch so I was on my side with my head on the armrest. I was facing Sebastian completely to show him my interest. He leaned back and crossed his feet where my head had been on the ottoman. Spike came walking over and sat next to me on the floor as if he wanted to be a part of the conversation too. It was cute. I patted his head.
Looking up, I could see the windows. I kind of wished Joe was out there or that he had actually seen me with Sebastian. I just wanted a stab at him. He had to have read my message by now. I checked my phone to make sure I didn’t miss a response from him; there was nothing. I wondered what he was doing.
Sebastian was talking the whole time. Nothing was sparking anything out of me, though. To be honest, I wasn’t really listening to him like I knew I should be. I was just so distracted by Joe. Sebastian would mention something we did together, and then Joe would get brought up. It seemed Joe was always there to ruin anything Sebastian and I might have had.
I wondered what he saw in us. That kiss certainly said he and I had nothing. Maybe it was only as his creature form? Could things really be that different? Was he holding back? I just wanted to understand things. My head was hurting. I needed some water. I waited for Sebastian to stop talking before I got up and went into the kitchen.
“Anything?” He asked.
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t. I mean a few things you said fit perfectly and they make sense but they don’t appear in my head or spark anything. It’s all still blank.”
“I don’t know what else to do.” He sighed.
“You and me both.” I agreed.
I was hungry after drinking some water. I opened the cabinet and grabbed a bag of chips.
“Wait a second. This isn’t the first time you tried to show yourself to me, is it?”
He hung his head. He debated something for a few moments, but then stood up. Spike whimpered for whatever reason, did he want some chips?
“No, it’s not. It’s not that I was trying to show myself to you though; it was that you wanted to remember me. Your mind is a powerful thing.” He said, sitting at the stool.
“Joe saw you in the pantry. He was hiding you from me. He remembered you.”
“He did not want to frighten you. He wasn’t sure, himself, what he had seen.” Sebastian nodded.
“Oh, right, he doesn’t know you as a creature. Did you show yourself as a creature? I suppose seeing a random person appear out of thin air in a pantry regardless is a bit scary.” I blurted out.
“I did frighten him quite a bit more than I intended.”
Sebastian tried to hide a chuckle. I stared at him and then together we started laughing.
“I probably would have thought he was crazy if he said anything.”
“Yes, well, you told him the truth every time.”
“I suppose.” I sighed. “What do we do now?”
“I go back and wait for you.”
“What?!” I exclaimed. I choked on a chip.
“There is nothing more I can do here.” He sighed pushing water in my hand.
“So take me with you.”
I was desperate. I wanted to know him. I had to remember everything. He stood up and shook his head. I jumped off the counter and set everything down. I stood in front of him and grabbed his arms in desperation.
“You said that all this happened after I left your world. Think about it, if I go back then maybe I could remember?”
“Do you understand the kind of influence that would be? That’s impossible.”
“But I want to go back. It is all my idea. This is what I need!”
“Are you sure?” He asked.
“Yes, I am sure. You’re the one who’s been reading my emotions all afternoon. You’re telling me you can’t feel this? Sebastian, I can’t explain it, but something tells me I can’t let you walk out of here. You are a missing piece to my life I never knew existed. If you leave now, I’ll never know.”
I wanted to kiss him again, but as a beast, not this scrawny human. He started to grin. I realized I was still holding onto his arms. I quickly dropped them.
“I can read your wants, yes. I just know that I influenced this. I shouldn’t have told you anything. I was right.”
“No, I asked for it. Obliging to my wishes versus telling me that which I didn’t already know are two separate things.” I mocked him.
“Okay. I cannot create the exit for you though; it has to be done when it happens.”
“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“You’re welcome. I don’t know that it will really work, though.” He laughed.
“Just hug me back.” I whispered.
He patted my shoulders. I sighed and let go of him.
“What now?”
He started pacing back and forth.
“The Minakai might not approve of this.” He mumbled.
“Who is that?” I asked.
I sat back on the counter and picked up the bag of chips.
“He’s our leader. You’ve met him. I mentioned that you went through his churner to get back here.”
“Then, we should see him. He could help.”
“Yes, maybe.”
He kept pacing around thinking things out loud. I didn’t understand half of them. I was certain he was speaking in a foreign language. I’d bet I had heard it before. I’d bet there was so much missing from my memory. It made me eager. I felt my brain zoning out and thinking of what his world would look like. It had to be beautiful.
“You loved it there.” He said, stopping himself from walking on again.
“Clearly, if I wanted to stay.” I said.
“Sorry, you were just wanting to know what it was like. I thought it was a question.”
“You can literally read every single want? Even ones not directed towards you?”
“Yes, I can. But that was directed towards me, in some way.”
“I suppose.” I grinned. “Why do you keep saying I have to be pure?”
“Timid and uncertain people do not get granted into our world.”
“Is it like heaven? Are you God?”
“If that helps you understand it better, yes, in a way.”
“Weird.” I sighed.
“Indeed. But I promise you’ll find out.”
He smiled at me. There was something else in his smile that made me blush. Did I really have a crush on him?
“Okay. I’m going to change. I’ll be back out in a second.” I said, closing up the bag of chips.
My outfit was perfectly fine, but I had to get out of that room for a moment. My brain was clouded with butterflies from my ever beating heart. He made me giddy. I didn’t understand it.
However, now I had to change my outfit again. I liked what I was wearing, it was comfortable. If I were going to his world, though, I should dress accordingly for that. Was it cold there? I bet the weather would be perfect. I would need cut-offs and maybe a thicker tank top.
I searched through my closet checking every shirt. Now I was worried about what I looked like for him. Should I worry about my hair as well? Was my make-up done? I was taking too long. I just needed to grab a shirt and that would help me decide which cut-offs to wear.
I closed my eyes and stopped my hands on a pink frilly tank top. There was no way I’d wear that. I closed my eyes again, but this time my hand stopped on a nice blue tank top. It was a racer back and loose around the edges. That’d be comforta
ble enough, however, it went with my shorts really well. I didn’t want to change those. Thankfully, I had some blue leg warmers that’d go perfect with everything
Just to check, I stood in front of the mirror. I also wanted an excuse to check my hair. I was shocked when everything looked good. All I needed to do was pin back my bangs and I’d be ready to go.
Sebastian was standing in the same spot when I walked back out. I sat down on the arm of the couch and faced him. He leaned against the bar and smiled. I was feeling awkward again. We needed a better distraction. Maybe the television would have something interesting on?
I plopped down backwards over the armrest and hung my legs over. Crossing my ankles, I kicked my feet. When I clicked on the television, Sebastian walked past and sat at the complete opposite end of the couch. I wasn’t sure why, but it really irritated me that he was that far away. I could feel my body start to bleed with adrenaline. I was breathing heavy to counter it and try to calm myself down. My temper was terrible.
After a few moments of television, I was returning to normal. My brain was thinking of Joe. I still hadn’t heard from him since this morning. It didn’t make sense. He hadn’t even come back or sent me a reply. I was flipping my phone open and closed debating texting him again. There had to be something more I was missing for him to be this mad at me. If he’d seen Sebastian, how would he know that he and I were okay? Even if we were kissing, he knew Sebastian as the bad guy. Why wouldn’t a bad guy force himself on me? Joe wouldn’t have just stood there and let it happen. Maybe he thought the cop was still here and he wanted an excuse to check on me. It still wouldn’t explain him not responding. His phone could still be off. He may’ve forgotten to hit the button after putting the battery back. If I call and it rings, then I’d know it was on. But what if it does ring, should I talk to him? Ugh, this is awful. He does-
“What are you so afraid of?” Sebastian asked, interrupting my thoughts perfectly.
I looked over at him and slowly sat up. Please tell me he hadn’t just read all of my thoughts. Maybe he can just feel the tension in the air.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been thinking about the same thing since I showed up. I don’t understand why you have to debate doing a simple thing like that. If you do it and he answers, why is that so bad? And if you never do it, then you never do it. These thoughts you have are very repetitive and useless.”
“If it has nothing to do with you, why does it bother you so much? Just tune me out.”
I sat up and turned away from him. I heard him shift his weight; either he was nervous or he was getting closer to me. I hoped for the latter.
“It’s not that easy when my purpose is to please you.” He whispered.
My heart hiccupped. I wished I had been facing him. I wanted to see his expression, but all I could do was pretend I didn’t hear him. I did my best to keep my face unemotional and stare at the television screen. I started flipping my phone again.
“Just call him.” Sebastian snorted. It startled me.
“Fine.” I said, a bit smug like.
I stood up and walked over to the window. The sun was starting its descent into the horizon. Today was nearly over again and I still couldn’t remember anything but Joe. It was so frustrating.
I flipped my phone open and began looking for his number. A text message icon was staring at me from the top right corner of my screen. My heart fluttered. Had I flipped my phone that much that it had swallowed the jingle that signaled I had gotten a text?
Nervously, I went into my text messaging menu. Sure enough, there was an unread message from Joe. I clicked it open and read what he had sent me. Instantly, a smile went across my face. It was the dumbest thing. All he had sent me was a smile face too, but his was giving me a kiss.
My eyes searched the bottom corners to find the reply function, and that’s when I saw what time he had sent it. It was from earlier today when he had first programmed his number in. He must have done it with a text message and I’d just canceled out of it when I’d used my phone to call the police officer. I felt my heart drop. I knew it was stupid, but I was devastated.
Sebastian put his hand on my shoulder. I turned around and hugged him. He hugged me back this time. He was even in his natural form for me. I felt a million times more comfortable. His soft skin was familiar. No part of me was threatened anymore by this so-called stranger, I was happy.
My body started feeling warm. It was moving from the center of me out towards my limbs. I tried to ask Sebastian what was happening, but no words were escaping. My eyes felt like they were going to explode. It was excruciating. I was digging my nails into Sebastian’s back.
“AH!” My lost scream finally came out. I fell to the ground.
“Mira!” Sebastian knelt down beside me.
I opened my eyes but everything was too bright. It hurt. Sebastian moved his head to block the glare. The whole world was shooting colors at me I had never seen before. What was going on?
“Sebastian?”
He held out his hand for me. I took it and stood up into his chest.
“Uh, what happened?” I asked with a shake to my voice.
“The exodus. I guess you were meant to come back here.” He smiled.
“This is...your world?”
I looked around at everything. My eyes couldn’t take it in enough. It felt familiar. I had been here before. A giant, yellow ant lady walked by. She nodded her head to me. I wasn’t afraid, I had met her before. I nodded my head back to return the hello.
“Nancy?” I said out loud. I swore that was her name. She looked back at me with a weird smile.
“What did you say?” Sebastian whispered.
“Nancy. Her name is Nancy.”
“You remember?!” He screamed.
He pushed me back to look in my eyes and then he picked me up in his arms. When I was completely engulfed by him, I felt this funny feeling. It was nothing like the burning warmth from before, it was soft and sweet. Butterflies danced in my stomach. I was remembering everything. Slowly but surely, the memories flooded my head causing my body to spasm uncontrollably. I saw everything he had told me; him in my closet, on the ledge. I saw us at the arcade, I saw being here in this world.
And I saw every kiss he and I had ever had. Those were the images that seemed to keep replaying themselves in my mind. He wasn’t lying. We shared something that was beyond anything on earth; well, beyond anything in this universe. I had been in love with this creature. I was in love with this creature. How could I have ever forgotten him?
Just as quickly as it were sweet, my memory showed the pain. I saw the storm that had been chasing me. I felt the evil and the destruction that wanted to claim me. The Zahn was doing everything to get past Sebastian, but he was defending me. He was my hero.
“I knew you’d remember. I knew it.” Sebastian mumbled over my shoulder.
He seemed like he was crying. I wasn’t sure how to feel. I was still in his arms though, and that was okay.
“Why was it after me? Why wouldn’t you let it take me?” I said.
“You were afraid. You weren’t ready. Fear is no way to enter the Zahn. You would have never made it out of there.”
“But why was I supposed to go in there at all?”
“That is something the Minakai will have to explain to you.”
“Why can’t you? You know the truth, Sebastian!”
“Why are you ruining this moment?” He cried.
“Because now I remember it all. And I never got to ask you what happened. You didn’t even prepare me!” I yelled.
“Mirabelle, I couldn’t. If I had told you a being was going to claim your soul if you gave it up for the betterment of the humankind, would you have second guessed wanting to stay?”
“I...I...what?”
“Exactly.” He smirked.
“The Zahn claims souls?”
“Yes. That is its purpose. I told you, you were ready to give everything up on Ear
th and stay here. In order for that to happen you must pass through it. It’s the only way. We have all done it.”
“Like a rite of passage?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“How would that better humankind? Am I really that awful?” I asked.
“This is why we need the Minakai.”
I started shaking my head. I plopped down and crossed my arms.
“Mirabelle, we have to!” Sebastian pleaded.
I couldn’t. I didn’t want to leave, yet. He couldn’t force me. It wasn’t fair. I had just remembered everything and now I was supposed to willingly go back and potentially forget it all again? It didn’t make sense. The Minakai would send me back again. He didn’t want me here. That day was just a test and I’d failed them. I knew it. I could feel it.
“You started to tell me things. You could finish your story. It’s not influencing.”
“He’ll explain it better. It’s the way it’s meant to be. Besides, if I say it now, I could ruin everything.”
“If you say nothing, I’m still staying here.”
“That could be an option.” He comforted.
“What?”
Slowly, I loosened my grip on my elbows. I could stay here? What about the Zahn?
“Yes. I don’t know all the facts. I don’t want to scare you.”
“But you know he’s upset with me. He’s never going to help, now.”
“What?” He was shocked.
“Yes. In case I never get the chance again, I want to meet your family. I want to see your father. I want to see Carlyle again.” I said.
“Fine. That’s fair enough. But we go directly after.” He said sternly.
“Fine.” I mocked him.
He held his hand out for me and I reluctantly took it. I stood up and he kissed me. I forgot what I had even been upset over. Everything just made sense.
So it seems.
((when you can’t find your way, you’re where you belong))
Monsters & Fairytales Page 34