A shadow furrowed his brow. “There’s really nothing to share. I survived the crash and finally remembered who I was. I lived with good people who took me in. I learned to live in an environment very different from here without any trappings of civilization.”
She touched his arm, vaguely aware that people were staring at them, that the soccer game had continued. She didn’t care. “Sharing that is a beginning.” She sat, and Dane sat next to her on the bench. “I think your idea about talking is a good one. I’ll see if Mom can watch the children tonight. We can go out to dinner.”
“A date?”
“Yes. We may be married, but there’s so much we don’t know about each other.”
“Zoey, don’t expect me—”
She took his hand, stopping his words. “We have to start somewhere. For the children’s sake.”
“How about our own?”
His question, unanswered, hung in the air between them. Zoey wanted to hope one day they could capture the emotions they’d had when they’d first married before real life had intruded, before his work had taken him away from her and thrown up a wall between them that she couldn’t seem to scale, even now. But she was a realist now, and she didn’t know if that was possible.
* * *
Mandy clapped. “I won! I won!”
Dane began to put the pieces of the board game back in the box. “Did anyone ever tell you how lucky you are, young lady?”
“Yes, Mommy all the time.” Mandy helped to clean up the mess. “Ya look nice.”
He ran his finger under his collar. “You think so? I haven’t worn a suit and tie in a long time.”
“Is this what ya bought today at the store, Daddy?”
Every time his daughter called him “daddy” his heart swelled. How could he have forgotten her—forgotten Zoey and Blake? Oh, he knew all the medical reasons for amnesia, but in his heart he should have known. Guilt gnawed at his insides for the lost years.
He cleared his throat before replying, “I figured I’d better get some clothes that fit me.”
“I want to go out with ya and Mommy to eat.” Mandy came to sit next to him on the couch. “I have a pretty new dress that Nana bought me. I can wear it.”
His first impulse was to tell her yes. She would be a good buffer between him and Zoey. But he’d never been a coward before, and he wasn’t going to start now. He placed his arm around Mandy’s shoulder and pulled her against him. “You can another time. Your mother and I need to talk.”
“That’s okay. Ya can talk. I won’t mind.”
“Sometimes grown-ups need time alone. Just like you and I need special time alone.”
Mandy pouted. “Okay. This time. And I’ll give ya a chance to beat me tomorrow.”
“That’s a date. Just you and me.”
He hugged her, relishing the feel of his daughter in his arms. He’d missed so much with her. Regret mixed with anger, always beneath the surface, surged in him, threatening his composure. Clenching his hands, he closed his eyes and forced those emotions to the dark recesses of his mind before they overwhelmed him. He’d survived the plane crash when no one else had. He’d finally made it back to his family. He was remembering new things every day. He would get his life back. He had to!
When the doorbell rang, he used that as an excuse to leave Mandy. In the hallway, he took several deep breaths to fortify himself. A feeling of helplessness, one he’d dealt with many times in the rain forest, nibbled at his mind. He pushed that away, too. He would never feel helpless again. He would control his own life from now on. He knew who he was and that was half the battle. The rest would fall into place now that he was home again.
Composed, Dane opened the door to allow Emma into the house. “Thanks for helping out on such short notice.”
“My pleasure. Anything for Zoey and you.” She placed her purse on the table in the foyer. “Where are the children?”
“Blake’s in his room, has been since he came home from the game. Tara’s with Zoey. And Mandy just beat me at a board game. She’s quite a competitor.”
“Even though she looks like Zoey, there’s a lot of you in her.”
Dane smiled.
Emma glanced up the stairs. “After you and Zoey leave, I’ll go up and talk with Blake.”
“Good luck. Zoey tried to and he didn’t say two words.”
“Where’s Zoey?”
“Still getting dressed, I think.”
At that moment Dane saw Zoey at the top of the stairs, her gaze fixed on him. He sucked in a deep breath and held it while she walked down the steps, carrying their youngest child. His wife looked gorgeous in a simple black dress with a lace shawl draped over her. Her outfit fell to her knees and accentuated her long legs clad in black hose. Her shoulder-length blond hair was swept back from her face, emphasizing her big, brown eyes. Around her neck she wore a white gold chain with a single black pearl that he’d given her on their first anniversary. The memory pierced through his heart with all the time he’d missed with his family—with Zoey.
Had he conveniently forgotten his other life while in the jungle because of the problems he and Zoey had been having in their marriage? That question knocked the breath from him, leaving him with new doubts. In that moment he didn’t know if he could give Zoey what she needed…and deserved.
CHAPTER FOUR
After the waiter cleared away their dinner plates, Zoey relaxed back in her chair and scanned the restaurant, trying to come up with something to say other than pleasantries that had nothing to do with what was wrong between her and Dane. She noticed several other diners glancing their way and shifted in her seat. Obviously the word that her husband had returned from the dead had swept through Sweetwater like a brush fire in an arid climate, as she’d known it would. Not much happened in the town and this was definitely news to her friends and neighbors. She didn’t want to be the center of gossip and knew by the tense set to Dane’s posture he hated every minute of it.
“It’ll be a while before things calm down,” Zoey offered as an explanation for the man and woman at the next table openly staring at Dane and her while the couple drank their coffee.
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it. I feel like I’m under a microscope.”
“You are. You’re news. The only other exciting thing that has happened lately in Sweetwater was Susan Daniels’s house was broken into last week.”
The waiter placed a cup of coffee in front of Dane. He quickly picked it up and took a tentative sip, releasing a sigh. “This is good.”
Some of his tension abated as he focused on Zoey and his coffee. She tried to do the same, but she felt the stares and wanted to squirm. Like Dane, she didn’t like his return being the focal point of Sweetwater’s rumor mill.
She dropped her hands to her lap and laced her fingers together—tightly. “What are your immediate plans?”
“Other than getting reacquainted with my family, I have none.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. You always had everything figured out.”
“I’ve changed.”
“Have you?” She heard the doubt in her voice and didn’t try to mask it. She’d lived with him for fourteen years and had never seen him change once. He could fixate on a goal with a relentless concentration that had always amazed her. His stubbornness rivaled a mule’s.
He laughed, a humorless sound that chilled the air. “My life hasn’t been what you’d call normal lately.”
“I never thought of your life as normal. Your job wasn’t exactly nine-to-five.”
He shrugged, took a drink of his coffee and asked, “What’s normal?”
“An eight-or nine-hour work day—home in the evenings and on the weekends.”
“Well, guess what? You’ve got me twenty-four seven for the time being.”
“The operative words are ‘for the time being,’ Dane. You and I both know it won’t last. You’ll go back to your old job and where will that leave us?”
“I don’t ha
ve answers for you, Zoey.” His sharp gaze honed in on her face while he lifted the cup to his lips.
“I won’t move back to Dallas. Our life’s here now. The family has been disrupted too much in the last few years.” There. She had said what she had been feeling, which in the past she had so often kept inside. She’d bowed to the demands of his job, but she couldn’t anymore. Her children’s—her—well-being was too important to her. Moving would throw the family into turmoil yet again.
He studied the dark contents of his cup. “I could always get transferred to a city nearer here.”
“And commute?” She thought of the extra time he would have to travel to his job and wasn’t sure that was a solution. In the past his work had demanded long hours.
“Listen, Zoey, I haven’t—”
A shadow fell across the white linen tablecloth, and Zoey looked up. Felicia Winters, the town librarian, hovered nearby, adamant interest in her gaze that was trained on Dane. “Felicia, it’s nice to see you,” she said, hoping to pull the woman’s attention away from Dane, whose expression went flat.
The tall woman with not a hair out of place finally glanced at Zoey. “I missed Mandy at story hour this morning.”
“Sorry, Blake had a soccer game at the same time.” And my husband appeared unexpectedly on my doorstep last night and threw my life into a tailspin.
Felicia stuck out her hand toward Dane. “I’m Felicia Winters. I run the library.”
Slowly, Dane closed his fingers around hers. “I’m Dane Witherspoon.” His tight voice and firmly set mouth conveyed his discomfort.
“Will I see Mandy next week?” Felicia directed the question toward Dane.
Relaxing a little, Zoey answered, “Blake’s game isn’t until the afternoon so Mandy should be there.”
“Good. I know how much Mandy loves to listen to the stories.” The woman’s stare never left Dane, who narrowed his gaze, his jaw a hard line.
“Thanks for stopping by,” Zoey said, hoping the librarian got the message to leave.
But before Felicia parted, she said, “I understand you’ve been in the Amazon. I wonder if you would come talk to our patrons about the jungle. We have a travelog evening once a month. Someone presents information on a different place each time. We haven’t had anyone who can speak knowledgeably on the Amazon.”
“I’ll think about it,” Dane said through gritted teeth.
With a quick nod, the librarian turned away and walked back to her table. The air pulsated with tension.
Without a word Dane tossed his linen napkin on the table, rose and strode toward the maitre d’. When she realized Dane had paid their bill and wasn’t coming back to the table, Zoey scrambled for her purse and shawl on the chair next to her. Stares followed her exit, making the hairs on her nape tingle. Outside she found Dane inhaling deep breaths, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat.
“Dane, I’m sorry.”
He stiffened, his back to her.
“Going out this evening wasn’t such a good idea. I should have realized people would be overly interested in your return. This isn’t like Dallas.”
“You can say that again.”
“Felicia loves offering a variety of programs for—”
He spun around and faced her. “I don’t want to talk about the Amazon.”
“I’ll let her know. She means well.”
“I grew up in a town a lot like Sweetwater and I left as fast as I could.”
She knew he was from Deerfield, Oklahoma, but that was all. She had never gone to his hometown with him since his immediate family was dead and he’d said he had no ties to the place. She’d never pushed him about where he was from; she should have. “Why?” she asked, deciding her usual pattern in the past hadn’t worked. She wasn’t that same woman.
“Too confining.”
“Not enough excitement, people?”
“No, I just never felt comfortable with others sticking their noses in my business.”
He wouldn’t. He was such a private man, DEA business aside.
When the door behind Zoey opened and a couple exited the restaurant, Dane grabbed her hand and tugged her across the street. The night had cooled since the sun had gone down a few hours before. Halting as she stepped into a park, Zoey draped her shawl around her shoulder.
Dane strolled to a wooden bench not far from the road and sat. Zoey followed, easing down next to him. A huge oak blocked the half moon and a good part of the sky from view. It also threw Dane’s features into dark shadows. She suspected that might have been why he had picked this bench to sit on.
He stared at the restaurant entrance as Felicia came out with a gentleman friend. The librarian’s voice, accompanied by her laughter, drifted to them, causing Dane to tense.
Finally quiet reigned, only occasionally broken by a trill of a bird or the passing of a car. Dane said nothing for a good ten minutes, and Zoey acknowledged in her heart how wide the gap was between them. She didn’t even know what to say to him anymore.
“I will say there’s one thing I like about a small town. There aren’t as many people out and about on a beautiful Saturday night.”
“Sweetwater retires early.”
“Does it get up early?”
“Yes, why?”
“I’m thinking of jogging, or at least walking, until I build up my strength to start jogging again.”
“And you don’t want a lot of people stopping you along the way?”
“It would defeat the purpose of exercising if I had to stop every two feet.”
“Then stay away from the lake and this park. It’s always busy with joggers and people walking early in the morning.”
“Where do you suggest I go?”
“It’s not too bad in the neighborhood.”
“Do you still jog?”
It had been the one thing they had done together when he was at home in Dallas. A teenager who’d lived next door to them would babysit Blake and Mandy and they would head to the park not far from their house. “I’ve been so busy since I moved here that I got out of practice.”
“Then why don’t you join me? Blake’s old enough to watch Mandy and Tara while we walk in the neighborhood. You should find time to exercise.”
“I know. I guess I can.”
“Good. Then we can start tomorrow morning.”
“Tomorrow’s Sunday. We go to church at eight-thirty.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, and Zoey wished she could see his face. In Dallas they hadn’t gone to church much. Usually if she did, it was with the children only. But since coming back to Sweetwater she had rediscovered how important the Lord was in her life. Without His support she wasn’t sure she would ever have pulled her life together after Dane’s disappearance.
“Then we’ll walk at six. You’ll have plenty of time to get ready.”
“But not you?”
Again Dane went quiet, something Zoey was used to when her husband retreated into himself.
“Dane, come to church with me and the children.”
“How can there be a God when there is so much ugliness in the world?”
The question hung in the air between them, heightening the already tall barrier keeping them apart. “But there’s so much beauty, too.”
“That’s a cop-out.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s the truth. The ugliness tests us. We have choices we can make. God didn’t guarantee us a paradise on earth. Only one in Heaven.”
“Then the human race isn’t doing too well.”
She’d always known Dane was cynical because of his job, but his cynicism had grown since he had been away. What had happened on his last assignment, which had taken him away from home for six weeks? What had happened in the jungle? “We make mistakes. We’re not perfect. Jesus doesn’t expect us to be perfect. That’s why He died for our sins. We keep trying and learn from those mistakes, but we will make more mistakes.”
Dane rose, his back to her. “We’d better get
home. I don’t want your mom to send out the posse.”
“It’s only nine. We go to bed early in Sweetwater, but I don’t think Mom would be too concerned before at least nine-thirty.”
Chuckling, he presented his hand to her.
She fit hers within his grasp, and he pulled her to her feet. She came up against him, so near she could smell the soap he’d used when he’d showered, the mint flavor of the toothpaste he’d brushed his teeth with. Too close. Quickly she stepped away, the back of her legs hitting the edge of the bench. Their clasp disconnected, his arm falling to his side. He stood staring at her for a long moment, his face again in the shadows. Zoey’s mouth went dry, her heart pounding against her chest.
“Will Blake still be up when we get home?” Dane asked, starting for the car in the parking lot next to the restaurant.
For a few seconds she watched him striding away, not sure she had the emotional energy to break through the demons that haunted her husband. Lord, help me. What do I do?
Dane stopped at the street and waited for her. She hurried toward him, wishing she had an answer to her prayer.
“We’ll need to tell Blake our plans to walk tomorrow morning,” Dane said as they crossed the street.
“He probably will be up. I’ll say something to him.”
He paused at the passenger’s door of the car. “But I shouldn’t? After the soccer game, he wouldn’t even talk to me. He ignored my congratulations. We used to be so close.”
“And that’s part of the problem. I think he’s waiting for you to leave again.” Just like I am, she silently added, understanding where her son’s feelings were coming from.
“I’m not going anywhere. I can’t even jog yet. The jungle took its toll on my body and it will be a while before I’m fit to do much of anything.”
Then what happens? she wanted to ask him yet again. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep the question unasked. Like Blake, she was just waiting for Dane to leave on another DEA assignment and be gone for weeks on end—possibly never come back home. He might have changed in the past two-and-a-half years, but she didn’t think he had changed that much. Before his whole life had revolved around his work, around ridding the world of drugs. He would be lost without it. Once he had regained his health, he would be gone.
When Dreams Come True Page 5