Dev held her awkwardly, patting her back.
Then his silence sank in. Maddie pulled back. "Where is she?"
His shoulders sagged slightly. "Maddie..." His voice held a note of warning that sent a chill to her heart.
"She's dead." Maddie put one hand to her mouth.
Dev shook his head and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "No, we don't know that. She survived birth, at least. But I don't want you to get your hopes up. It's not going to be easy to find her."
Maddie frowned. "Why not?"
"Her birth was never recorded where she was born. The adoption wasn't done through the system. There was an old doctor in Mineral Wells who specialized in these types of cases. He delivered babies and placed them with parents who, for various reasons, did not want to go through normal channels."
"So how do you know this is Dalton and Jenny's baby?"
"The old doctor is long dead. We only have Rose's speculation that this is Dalton's baby, but I found the doctor's nurse in a nursing home in Fort Worth and she remembers Jenny giving birth."
Maddie's spirits fell. She might not have a sister, after all.
Dev hugged her again. "Hey, chin up. I'm not through looking. And I think Rose was right. When I ask around, everyone is very clear on the fact that Jenny was never seen with anyone but Dalton. They had made it very clear that they would marry, and people still remember them together even when Jenny was as young as fourteen. We'll only be sure after DNA testing, but I doubt we'll find that this girl had any other father than Dalton Wheeler."
"But what if you can't find her?" Maddie brushed at the tears flooding her eyes.
"Hey," Dev squeezed her shoulders. "I'll find her. I'm as good at finding people as you are at preparing world-class meals."
Maddie heard the comforting smile in his voice and lifted her head. "Please, Dev. It would mean the world to me."
He set her away from him, holding one shoulder and reaching into his pocket for a handkerchief. "Here—I can't send you back to Boone with red eyes."
Boone. Maddie's shoulders sagged. "I still don't have enough to tell him, do I?"
Dev shrugged. "That's your call to make."
"I'm so tired of sneaking around. But I don't know what else to do. Until we know she's alive..."
Dev nodded. "It could all be for nothing."
Maddie drew a deep breath. "Then I don't have any choice. He's had so much thrown at him. I'll just have to keep this a secret until you're certain."
"You're a lousy liar, Maddie. What if he shows up today?"
"Then I'll just have to make myself scarce. It won't be that much different. We've been tiptoeing around each other for almost two weeks now."
"Sam made a hell of a mess, didn't he?" Dev's eyes held sympathy.
Maddie glanced up. "I don't know whether to be glad or upset with him anymore. If he hadn't done what he did, I would never have known about any of this—my father, my grandmother, a sister...the house."
"Or Boone," Dev reminded her. His eye held a knowing glint. "Are you sure you can go back to New York now?"
Maddie met his gaze in shock. "It's always been understood that I would."
He shrugged. "Things change."
"What does that mean?"
"Come on, Maddie. Don't try to tell me you haven't thought about staying. I've watched you when you talk about the house." His gaze bored into her. "And when you talk about Boone."
Maddie flushed. "There's nothing to decide. Boone might be attracted to me, but it's only physical. He can't wait for me to leave."
"Are you so sure about that?"
"Why? Has he said something to you?"
Dev laughed out loud. "Boone would just as soon punch my lights out as talk to me more than absolutely necessary."
"I should have asked, though maybe it's none of my business. Are you having any luck finding Mitch?"
"I'm waiting for some information from Colorado, but nothing firm yet."
"Is it hard to juggle both searches? If so, mine can wait. Boone needs to find Mitch worse."
Dev shook his head. "You are some kind of woman, Maddie. I wonder if Boone has any idea how protective you are of him."
"He wouldn't like it. But I feel so badly for him. He's had such a lot of bad breaks."
"You haven't exactly had a great string yourself."
"Oh, well." She straightened. "In just over two weeks, I'll be back in New York, fighting with temperamental waiters and barking orders to my sous chefs." For the first time in years, it didn't sound exciting.
Dev gave her a quick hug. "I'll do my best to find her before then but if not, I'm always up for a trip to New York." His gaze grew solemn. "I'll find her, Maddie. No matter what it takes. You just hang in there."
"Thanks, Dev." Grasping his shoulder, she rose to her toes and kissed his cheek.
Chapter Ten
HE'D KNOWN BETTER.
Boone jammed the trailer bolt shut with a clang. With long strides, he headed toward the cab of his truck.
"You gonna tell me what's eatin' you?" Jim asked.
"Nothing." He jerked the door open and slid inside. "I'll park this and be back to help you move the cattle."
Jim frowned but didn't argue.
Good thing, too. Boone didn't trust himself too much right now. Seeing Maddie in Devlin Marlowe's arms was something he guessed he should have been prepared for, but it had hit him like a ton of bricks.
It wasn't as though the signs hadn't been there, as if he hadn't seen how well the two of them got on together. And it wasn't like he hadn't known all along that he and Maddie weren't suited, but—
But nothing. He'd been a fool to think he had a chance. He'd let Maddie's smile blind him, let her laughter give him hope. And in a weak moment while he'd been gone, he'd actually tried to figure out a way to help her buy The Dinner Bell—that's how desperate he'd gotten to find a reason to keep her here.
Despite what he'd seen between her and Marlowe before today, he'd even given thought to asking her out on a real date. A mirthless grin twisted his lips. Seeing her in Devlin Marlowe's arms had put paid to that idea.
Damn you, Sam. The next two weeks looked endless. He had new stock; he couldn't just up and leave, no matter how painful it would be to have Maddie there and know that she preferred another.
Boone leaped out of his truck and unhitched the trailer beside the barn. Then, there where no one could see, he slammed his fist into the wall. The pain in his fist couldn't hold a candle to the pain in his heart.
For Boone realized that he'd gone and done exactly what he'd sworn never to do.
He'd fallen in love, and fallen hard. For a woman he could never have.
Gallagher men love only once. And he'd done it with the wrong woman.
He wondered if Sam was watching him now.
If so, he must be laughing.
* * *
IT WAS ALREADY dark when Maddie returned after driving the country roads for hours. When she saw Boone's truck parked at the house, her heart gave a little leap, then a twist of nerves.
No lights were on in the house. Maybe he was so tired he'd already gone to bed. She hoped so; she wasn't looking forward to keeping her feelings under wraps.
She was exhausted after running the gamut of emotions. Thrilled that she might have a sister, afraid that Dev might never find her or that when he did, she would want nothing to do with Maddie—or worse, that something bad had happened to her.
Then there were the nerves over Boone's reaction when he found out. On top of that was the longing to see him, and beyond that, the qualms about whether or not she wanted him to have missed her.
Her head awhirl with too many thoughts, Maddie almost fell over the pile at the back door before she could hit the light switch.
"Don't turn it on." Boone's voice, deadly calm.
"What's wrong? What is all this?"
"It's my stuff. I'm clearing out. Go ahead and move Marlowe in here. It's your house, but I don't have t
o stay and watch it."
Maddie couldn't process the words. "What? Why would I move Dev in here?"
"Don't play innocent, Maddie. I know about you and him. I saw you in town today, in the park."
Oh, no. What did he think he'd seen? "It's not what you think."
Boone's harsh laugh grated on her hearing. "I've been there before. Oh, I never had to see my wife in the other man's arms, but I know when a woman is pining after a man who's somewhere else."
"Pining?" He thought she wanted Devlin? "Oh, my word. You think—" What could she do? How did she explain without telling Boone what was going on?
"I don't have to think. I saw."
She heard the chair creak when he rose. She gazed at his outline in the moonlight spilling through the window.
"Did you follow me?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Like a fool, I was worried about you. I saw you take off just as I was driving up toward the cutoff. You were in such a hurry, I thought something was wrong."
"You don't have to leave."
"I should have moved out to the barn the first day. It would have been easier all the way around."
She wanted to throw something at him. "Just like that, huh? You'd convict me without even asking what I was doing with Dev." In defiance, she flipped on the light.
Both of them blinked against the sudden glare.
"You've been sneaking around for a week, hanging up when I walked into the room, whispering when I was nearby. All you had to do was ask me to leave. It's still your house."
"You think I'm the kind of woman who sneaks around?"
"It doesn't matter. We always knew your stay here was temporary. You have every right to conduct an affair wherever you want."
His very certainty sent Maddie's temper shooting through the roof. She stepped over a pile of bedding and stalked across the floor, stabbing one finger in his chest. "You pompous oaf."
"What?" Boone's eyes widened in shock, then narrowed. "What the hell does that mean?"
"Oh, God," Maddie's laughter was a harsh bark in her chest. "I can't win." She paced the open portion of the floor.
"What are you saying?"
She whirled. "I can either tell you what I was doing and hurt you or stay quiet and let you believe the worst of me."
Boone shrugged. "It's no skin off my nose if you want to have a fling with Devlin Marlowe."
Hurt wrestled with anger for dominance. Maddie stood there before him, her whole body shaking. "I am not having a fling with Devlin Marlowe."
"Whatever you want to call it, makes no difference to me. You're a free agent."
Maddie doubled up her fist and punched him square in the center of his chest. "Stop saying that, damn you. I'm not like that. I would never—" Maddie stopped short, stunned by the quick flash of pain in his eyes.
His jaw went tight and hard. "I won't stand by and be made a fool again, Maddie. You never lied to me that you would stay. Don't start lying now. You don't owe me anything. The truth is all I ask."
She drew a deep breath. "All right. You want the truth? Just remember that I tried to protect you."
Boone frowned. "Protect me?"
"You'd better sit down, Boone. I honestly don't think you want to hear this."
"I'm fine right here." He crossed his arms over his chest. "And we already discussed whether or not you should be deciding what I'm ready to hear. Go on, Maddie."
She needed to occupy her hands, so she filled the teakettle and started the burner beneath it.
"Come on. Stop stalling. I already know you care about Marlowe. Finish it."
"Dev is only helping me with research, no matter what you think you saw."
His jaw was tight. "What kind of research?"
"I found my grandmother's diary."
One eyebrow lifted, but he simply nodded for her to continue.
Maddie sucked in a deep breath and blew it out, praying for the right words. "Boone, my grandmother believed that your mother might have given birth to my father's child and then given it up after my father vanished."
If she'd hit him with a two-by-four, she doubted that he would have looked more shocked.
"What?" But he was already shaking his head. "No way. Never."
"Boone, Dev has found out it's true. You have a sister, a half-sister."
"No. That's wrong. My mother would never—" His voice went arrow-sharp. "She loved children. She couldn't have any more after me, but she always wanted..."
When Maddie reached for him to console, he jerked away. "That's a damn lie. My mother would never have given away a child of hers. And she wouldn't have deceived us about it."
Maddie had never seen him this agitated, not even the night when he rescued her from Hank. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure."
"Show me the proof."
"Dev can't be positive yet that the baby was my father's, but no one ever saw Jenny with another man, so..."
"Don't even think that she was some kind of slut." He headed for the door, then turned, hands clenched into fists, shoulders tight bands of muscle. "If any of this is true—I say if, mind you, then it's Dalton Wheeler's fault. He had no right to get her pregnant and then abandon her just like he abandoned everything else."
Maddie knew he spoke out of shock and hurt, but she had to defend the father she had loved. "I doubt that he ever knew. But it doesn't matter. We have to find her."
"Why are you doing this, Maddie? You're leaving. Why can't you let the past be?"
"I have to know. You can't keep me from finding her, Boone."
"You were going to keep me in the dark."
"Only until I knew for sure."
Boone picked up his duffel bag and the pile of bedding. He jerked the door open and looked back.
"What other secrets do you plan to keep from me? Any other decisions you plan to make on my behalf? How much more are you going to tear up my life before you walk away?"
Maddie would have answered, if she'd had any idea what to say.
But she would have been talking to an empty room.
* * *
BOONE PUNCHED DOWN his pillow one more time and rolled over, looking for a spot that felt right. He'd brought a bedroll, so the hay wasn't the problem, he knew.
His problem was trapped inside his skin.
A sister. Half-sister. His mother's child, with a man he'd grown up believing a murderer.
Maddie, why the hell couldn't you leave it alone?
But he knew why—she had no family. She hadn't enjoyed the benefit of knowing where she belonged as he had. Right or wrong, despite all the harm Sam had done after Boone's mother had died, Boone had grown up with a sense of place, had known his roots. He'd grown up with a grandfather who had taken him fishing and let him smoke his first—and only—cigarette. He'd known a sense of community. Maddie had been moved around all her life.
But thinking about his mother having a child with another man didn't go down easy. She had often said how much she wished for a girl, but Boone and Mitch had taken it as teasing. All those years, had she longed for a daughter she'd had to give up?
A sister. Boone had been thinking of her as a baby, yet he realized with a shock that she would be older than either him or Mitch. Would she have his mother's blonde hair? His own blue eyes or the gray eyes that Maddie said she'd inherited from her father?
Would she want to be found? It would break Maddie's heart if she didn't, if she turned away. No matter how the news had rocked Boone's memories of his mother, how much a part of him wished he'd never forced Maddie to answer, another part of him wanted to step in and protect her from this woman's potential to hurt her.
She would be devastated if this sister denied the connection. Boone pictured the look on Maddie's face when she'd told him that she had to know.
While part of him wanted all of this to go away, another part of him realized he had cause to rejoice.
If this sister were real, he and Maddie would have a connec
tion for as long as they lived. Not that she might welcome it, after how he'd taken her news.
Nor did he want to think about a lifetime of crossing paths with Maddie and some other man. Or having to hear about Maddie bearing some other man's children.
But there wasn't another man yet. At that moment, Boone let himself feel the full impact of Maddie's insistence that there was nothing between her and Marlowe, and his spirits soared. She hadn't been having an affair behind his back. For a few seconds, he let himself feel a fierce spurt of hope.
Then he remembered how rough he'd been tonight. Maddie forgave easily, but where did her tolerance end?
And how could he claim it, yet again?
He had to try. Rising from his makeshift bed, he pulled on his boots, then realized that it was well after midnight. Not a good time to go begging, hat in hand.
Even if Maddie forgave easily again—not that he'd earned it—she deserved her rest.
There would be no sleep for him, however. Dancer snorted restlessly in her stall. Might as well go check on her, since he couldn't sleep, anyway.
* * *
AT TWO IN the morning, Maddie gave up on sleep and headed for the kitchen to get a glass of water. Through the window she saw a light on in the barn. Maybe Boone couldn't sleep, either. Little wonder.
She'd handled it wrong. She'd known all along that the news of this sister would be rough for Boone to swallow. What she hadn't realized was that the stories Vondell and Jim had withheld revolved around Boone's unfaithful wife.
Maddie had known that the woman named Helen had hated it here, but never once had anyone told her that she'd cheated on Boone. No wonder he'd been upset about the whispered phone calls, the times when she'd made an excuse and driven into town.
She'd really botched it, the whole business. Boone was right—she was making decisions for him as though he couldn't make his own. With good intentions, sure, but Maddie kept hearing his voice in her head.
Why are you doing this? You're leaving.
What right did she have, really, to dig up old secrets when they impacted him as much as her? He was right. She had no place here, but everything she did left a mark on him, too.
Love Me Some Cowboy Page 30