She blinked, resolving not to give into tears!
Sipping slowly, she became aware of his gaze. Raising her own to meet his, she tried to glare at him. But she felt sad and knew it was probably reflected in her expression. Better that than the fear that simmered beneath the surface since seeing him last week.
“Why did you come today?” she asked.
He sat gingerly on the edge of her bed. The bed she’d bought when she first moved out. It was a double, nothing like the massive king-size bed they’d shared when married. With Sam only a few inches away, she wished she’d bought a huge one, to maintain more distance.
“I came to see Joey,” he said slowly. “Good thing I did, with you sick and all. I’m taking him home with me.”
“No! You can’t do that!”
“And you’re going to stop me?”
Tears swam in her eyes. He knew she couldn’t do anything not today.
“It’s best for him, don’t you think?” Sam asked.
If she let herself think at all, she knew she’d have to admit he was right. But she hated to have her son gone. She hated the visits he’d made to see Sam over the last two years, missed him so much each time.
Reluctantly she had to agree Joey would be better off away from her while she was sick.
“I guess. But only until I’m better.”
He looked at her dispassionately. “Maybe you should come to the ranch, too, until you’re better. Who’s going to look after you?”
“No.” She couldn’t go back. “Besides, that would infect everyone there. I can manage myself.”
He stood and paced the small room, glancing at her from time to time.
He stopped at the foot of the bed, indecision clearly evident.
“There’s something else you probably should know. You’ll find out sooner or later.”
Her heart skipped a beat and then began to race. The headache she’d begun fighting two days ago bloomed and she closed her eyes.
He was getting married again. He’d found another woman to share his life with. Her heart skipped a beat, then blood pounded through her veins. She felt sick and didn’t think it had to do with the flu.
She wasn’t ready for this.
Another thought struck her. Sam’s being married would make it even more appealing to a judge when deciding Joey’s custody. Sam would be able to provide a normal two-parent family like every child deserved.
While she was a single mother, far from family and a support network. Tears slipped beneath her lids and slid down her cheek.
“Hey, Lisa, are you worse?” Sam moved swiftly to her side, brushing away the tears and steadied the tea cup in her hand.
She shook her head, and opened her eyes, feeling like a fool. “I feel rotten, but no worse. You’ll get it, Sam, if you hang around.”
“I’m tough.” He looked at her for a moment, then looked away. “About what I want to tell you,” he began.
“I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped.
He looked at her. “What?”
“If it’s bad enough for you to come to tell me in person after the way we parted, it has to be awful and I’m not up to hearing awful news.”
Come back in a decade, or two.
She drained the cup and handed it to him. “Thanks for the tea. No chance of your leaving, is there?”
Slowly Sam shook his head. “I’m staying until Joey gets home. Then we’ll get out of your way. Unless you want me to stay and take care of you.”
“You can’t stay here!” she said quickly. She absolutely could not deal with Sam in her apartment for another few minutes, much less the day or two that it might take for her to recover.
He frowned. “Then I’ll take Joey home with me. When you’re well, you can come and get him.”
“No.”
“It’s not open for discussion. I’m his father. If you can’t watch him, I can.”
“Don’t you have work to do? The ranch doesn’t run by itself.”
Sam frowned and looked at the empty cup. “That’s part of what I want to tell you.”
Imagination proved worst then the truth, Lisa decided, as her mind came up with scenario after scenario each more convoluted then the previous one. Had he lost the ranch? Was he already married? Did he have a life-threatening disease? What?
“All right, say what you came to say. Then maybe you’ll leave.”
“Nick is capable of running the ranch. I’m cutting back.”
“Cutting back? On what? I don’t understand. You never took time off. We were lucky to have a weekend in San Antonio when we got married.”
“Yeah, well, things are different now. I’ve run the place since Dad died. Nick’s taken a more active interest now.”
She looked away at the sound of his brother’s name. The old memories still had the power to cause strong regrets. But times changed and she was no longer the same high school girl who had once thought she loved Nick Haller. That had ended long ago. Not that Sam believed it.
She’d made such a mess of things. But she’d learned and moved on. There had been no other choice.
“Good for Nick.”
Sam grinned at her. Lisa’s heart almost stopped. That sexy, lopsided grin reminded her of everything that had gone wrong in her life. The way she felt when he smiled at her about melted her bones. Her breath caught and she looked away lest she gave him ideas into her thoughts. Dammit, they’d been divorced for two years, she had no feelings left for the man.
Except anger.
And dislike.
And resentment.
And...she stopped thinking. It was safer to just ignore him. Or ignore him as much as she could. He wouldn’t stay forever. Once he took Joey, she’d be able to forget him until she was well.
“The thing is, Lisa, Nick’s getting married.”
She stared at him. The man Sam thought she still cared about was getting married? Closing her eyes, she waited for a reaction.
None came, unless she counted a twinge of relief it wasn’t Sam getting married!
Opening her eyes, she stared at him. Stared into the dark blue eyes that watched her so cautiously, suspiciously. Startled to see the concern in his gaze, she quickly asked, “Who to?”
“Her name is Jennifer Carson. She’s from Virginia.”
“Virginia? He’s marrying some woman from Virginia? How in the world did he meet her?”
“At a horse show last summer. She moved to Tumbleweed in January. She’s teaching elementary school in town. Hits the horse shows on the side. She has a beautiful bay gelding you’d love to see in action.”
Lisa stared at Sam, disbelief warring with incredulity. Wild, willful, sexy Nick Haller marrying a school teacher?
Unbelievable!
Almost as unbelievable as it had been when Sam Haller married her, she thought, staring at the man that had been her husband for two tumultuous years. The man who had fathered her child.
Suddenly she felt exhausted. Her head hurt and she wanted to be alone.
“You don’t seem to mind,” Sam said.
“I believe I told you at least a hundred times, I don’t love Nick. You were the one who would never believe that.”
“You didn’t act like you were over him two years ago.”
“You misread the situation as I also tried to explain a hundred times!”
Scooting down in the bed, she rested her head against the pillow. “My head still hurts and I don’t feel so good. Maybe the tea was a mistake.”
“Lie quietly for a while and see if your stomach settles. Tell me where Joey is and I can go get him.”
“He’ll want to play with Kevin a bit longer. It’s apartment 39, up one floor. But let him stay. Rosie will bring him down around four.”
Lisa wanted him to leave, but once he’d left the bedroom, perversely she wished he’d stayed. Wished he’d told her more about Nick and his forthcoming marriage. Told her about the situation at the ranch. And told her what she could expect from him wit
h this custody battle.
She couldn’t stand to lose her son. Why did Sam start this? He hadn’t done much with Joey when he was smaller. Of course he’d been a baby and Sam had to work. She’d left him even before Joey could walk. For a moment she tried to imagine what it would be like to have Joey live with Sam for six months each year. She’d miss so much of his growing up.
Like Sam had? a voice whispered.
* * *
SAM RINSED THE cup and then ran water on the dishes. How long has she been sick? There were the remnants of at least two meals in the sink. Gazing out the small window over the kitchen sink, he didn’t notice the parking garage, nor the row of brick apartment buildings beyond. He was still in her room, seeing the surprise in her eyes when he told her about Nick.
And not seeing the devastation he expected.
Was she truly over his brother?
Not that it mattered. Just because she no longer loved Nick didn’t mean he and Lisa had anything. Their past was too bitter to go down that road again.
And there was another major complication that would never go away.
But for a long moment he wished things were different that he’d handled things differently. That he hadn’t been a damned fool from beginning to end.
One of his biggest regret was he let Joey go without a monumental fight.
At first, he thought the baby should be with his mother. And he had expected Lisa to stay in Tumbleweed. But as time went on, he knew he needed to be a bigger part of Joey’s life. To teach his son, to watch him grow, to be there for him as Sam’s father had never been for Sam. Nothing like a bad role model to show a man how to parent.
He’d made his share of bad mistakes--Margot being the biggest. Though he had once laid that also at Lisa’s door, it was his fault from start to finish. It was time to make amends where he could.
Maybe he and Lisa could find a way to build a truce for Joey’s sake.
Sam glanced at his watch. It was mid afternoon. If he got Joey now, they could be home by dinner. He went exploring. The apartment was tiny, but had three bedrooms. Each smaller than the last. The smallest Lisa had turned into an office. At least her job enabled her to stay with Joey. He remembered how angry he’d been when he heard his son was spending long hours in day care in Denver while Lisa worked.
Entering Joey’s room, he paused for a moment savoring the sights of his son. Toys cluttered the floor. Picture books lay scattered near a shelf. Pajamas lay across the end of the bed. Glancing around, he noticed a photograph in the table by Joey’s pillow. It was of him and Lisa in happier times. He strode over and picked it up. At least she kept a likeness of him around so Joey wouldn’t forget him. But it wasn’t enough. He wanted his son to know him, not just what he looked like.
Quickly he packed enough clothes to last a few days. He’d pick up Joey and head back to the ranch.
He hesitated outside Lisa’s bedroom door. Should he leave her alone sick as she was? Would the neighbors check in once in a while? Peering in, he saw she was asleep. Probably the best thing for her.
In less than ten minutes he was letting himself back into her apartment, Joey at his side. They’d grab his bag, tell Lisa goodbye and head out.
There was a familiar sound coming from the bathroom.
“Mommy’s sick,” Joey said leaning his head to one side to peer down the hall. “She’s been sick a long time.”
“Stay right here.” Sam put him on the sofa and hurried down the hall to push open the bathroom door.
“You’re coming home with me,” he said, reaching down to draw her to her feet.
“I can’t,” she said, leaning against him weakly.
“You can and will.”
* * *
THEY WOULD STILL make dinner, Sam thought with some satisfaction as he turned into the long access road that led to his home. Lisa had protested about coming but he’d won the point, he thought with some satisfaction, glancing at her. She was still asleep, leaning against the window. If he’d known he was bringing them both home, he’d have brought a car instead of the pickup.
He flicked a quick look at Joey, who was staring rapturously out the windshield from his car seat in the center.
“Cows,” he said, pointing to a small herd near the fence.
“Cattle. Steers, to be accurate,” Sam corrected.
Joey grinned at him. “Where are horses?”
“There’ll be plenty of horses. Are you coming riding with me?”
Joey nodded delightedly, clapping his hands.
They drove round the bend and Nick’s house came into view. Once the foreman’s place, Nick had appropriated it when he moved out of the family house several years ago.
As he always did, Sam tried to ignore the structure as he drove past, and the memories of his last blasting accusations. The angry, hateful words that had ended his marriage.
In another mile they’d reach the main house. He ran a practiced eye over the fences lining the road, then checked the grass still green and thick from the winter rain. He was cutting back on the management, allowing his brother to take a bigger role. But some habits would never die. And owning fifty-one percent of the family ranch meant the final responsibility would always fall to him.
When the house came into view, Sam studied it a moment, wondering what Lisa would think of it. He’d spent the greater part of their first summer apart scraping, sanding and painting the place after he’d done his stint on the range each day. He’d needed the task to keep him from going crazy. Then he’d fall into bed with a bottle. A bad habit that had cost him.
Stopping by the front porch, he cut the engine and released Joey from his car seat.
“Okay, partner, let’s get your mommy settled and you and I’ll go check out the horses.”
“Yippee!” Joey flung his arms around Sam’s neck and hugged him tightly.
Sam swung him out of the truck and set him on the ground. “Stay with me until you get acquainted, now,” he admonished.
He took the suitcases from the truck bed and headed into the house. He had to make up a bed for Lisa. She could sleep in the pickup until it was ready, then he’d come and get her.
Before he had the guestroom bed fully made, however, he heard her run into the house, and slam the downstairs bathroom door behind her.
“Oh-oh, looks like your mom didn’t make it,” he said to Joey, flicking on a light blanket. The youngster reached over to pull it up to the pillow.
“I’ll go get your mom,” Sam said, heading down the stairs an odd sense of anticipation building.
He waited until she slowly opened the door, then scooped her up and carried her up to bed over her protestations. He hesitated a split second before the opened door to their room. The one they’d shared when married. But he’d forfeited the right to have her there.
The guest room would do until she was fit again.
“I don’t want to be here,” she complained as he and Joey settled her in the bed.
“Noted.”
“Get better, Mommy,” Joey said, patting her shoulder.
“Okay, honey. I’ll get better fast.” She glared up at Sam. “As soon as I can!”
He grinned at that. “I’m sure this is the best medicine staying here will insure you’ll get better as fast as you can.”
Turning her head away, she made no response.
“Come on, partner, let’s get some chow,” Sam said, holding his hand out for Joey. “We’ll check in on you when we get back from dinner.”
* * *
LISA SAID NOTHING, listening to the two of them walk away. Closing her eyes, she tried to find some relief. She was so miserable. And not the least was being back in Sam’s house when she’d rather be anywhere else.
Memories flooded and she tried to keep them at bay. She didn’t want to remember anything good about those years. Or about Sam.
Maybe she’d call her mother in the morning and see if she could go home. Anything would be better than staying here. The only
good aspect was she didn’t have to worry about Joey. No one would take better care of him than his dad.
* * *
BUT IN THE morning, Lisa changed her mind. Sam had checked on her twice in the night, bringing her warm tea and making sure she was holding down the liquids. The nausea had faded. Now she was just bone weary. Maybe she’d call her mother in another day or so.
Sam hated seeing Lisa sick. She’d been in robust health all the time he’d known her. And radiant while pregnant. He called the doctor first thing that morning, but was told there was nothing he could do that Sam wasn’t already doing. It was a matter of time.
He took Joey with him when doing chores, showing him around the ranch again, amazed at what the little boy remembered from his last visit several months ago.
Nick drove up to the barn at eight. He alighted from his truck, spotting Joey and grinned. “Hey, Joey, I didn’t know you were coming to visit! How you doing?”
Sam watched as Joey flew across the yard to jump up into Nick’s embrace. He tried to ignore the twinges of jealousy that poked. His brother had not cheated on him with Lisa. They’d both told him so over and over. He believed them. But it had taken a long time.
He still felt irritated at how easily Nick got on with everyone. For Sam it was a struggle. He knew his more distant nature was a direct result of dealing with their father, but it didn’t make it easier.
Might as well get it all over with.
“Lisa’s here, too,” he said, ambling over to Nick.
Nick looked surprised, his glance flicking to the front of the old house.
“Here, as in a visit?”
“Sort of. She’s sick.”
Nick put Joey down and looked at his brother. “How sick?”
“She has the flu. There wasn’t anyone to take care of Joey, so I brought him here. She’s so sick, I brought her, too.”
“You brought her here? After all she did? Are you nuts?”
“No. I thought you might be glad to see her again,” Sam said.
Nick’s grin cut off and he narrowed his eyes. “Just what is that supposed to mean?”
Love Me Some Cowboy Page 36