by Gary Kittle
ALAN:
Sean, thanks for coming in. I know this must be very difficult for you.
KEITH (STARING UP AT THE WALL CLOCK):
Five minutes and fifteen seconds precisely.
ALAN:
I can't guarantee we'll be finished that quickly.
KEITH:
I can. To the very second.
ALAN (CLEARING HIS THROAT)
You've been off work for eight weeks now, Keith. Your G.P. has refused to sign another sick note for you...
JANET:
Which means that technically you are on unauthorised leave.
ALAN:
And I’m afraid that makes it a disciplinary matter.
SEAN:
Perhaps if Keith saw a psychiatrist?
(BEAT)
Or several...
KEITH (RUBBING HIS FOREHEAD):
Sorry, but I am experiencing pain in the temporal lobe area. Could you all switch off your mobiles.
JANET:
What? Oh, really. This has gone too far. Basically, Keith, we insist that you seek psychiatric help for your delusions. Don't you agree, Alan?
ALAN:
Sorry? Agree with what?
KEITH:
Four minutes and thirty seconds. It has started, Sean. Stay close to me.
ALAN (LEANING FORWARD):
Don't mumble. I can't lip read. Do you think this is some kind of joke, man?
JANET:
Can everyone speak up?
ALAN (POKING A FINGER IN HIS EAR):
I can hear perfectly. But only through one ear.
JANET:
Now you're doing it, too, Alan. I thought better of you.
KEITH (LOOKING AT HIS WATCH):
Hold me, Sean. Hold me like you've never held a man before.
SEAN:
I never have held a man before.
ALAN:
I heard that bit. Oh... now it’s gone again.
JANET:
Something's wrong. Call security.
ALAN (POKING HIS EAR):
Insecurity? It's more serious than that.
JANET (SHOUTING):
Serious attack? Of what? What's happening?
KEITH (LOOKING AT HIS WATCH):
Two minutes. Can't you feel it, Sean? Growing inside you - like Sigourney Weaver?
SEAN:
Actually, yes. There's a curious buzzing in my ears... but it feels like it’s coming from inside my head.
KEITH:
Then hold me and don't let go!
SEAN hesitates, then throws himself into KEITH's lap and pulls the balloons over his head. KEITH stretches out his arms in a crucifixion pose with SEAN's face still buried in his lap.
ALAN (SHOUTING):
They've both gone now. I'm totally deaf!
The door opens and in stagger HUGH and SUSAN, both shaking their heads and banging their ears repeatedly.
HUGH (SHOUTING):
What's happened?
SUSAN (SHOUTING):
We're all deaf. We can't hear a thing.
KEITH:
Here it comes! Judgement Day!
A high-pitched squealing grows and everyone in the room except SEAN and KEITH begin twisting and writhing about in agony, their hands clasped to their ears. Then there is sudden and abrupt silence.
SCENE 7) INT. Office. Later.
KEITH lowers his arms and shakes SEAN by the shoulder. JANET and ALAN have passed out .
KEITH:
It's all right, Sean. You can get up now.
SEAN emerges from beneath KEITH’s balloons, red-faced.
SUSAN (SHOUTING):
What's happened? Can’t you hear me?
SEAN rushes over to his colleagues.
KEITH (SIGHING):
It will be everywhere. In every business, school and household. Every village, every city...
(BEAT)
SEAN:
There must be some other explanation. A virus, a terrorist attack... Perhaps Blue have released another comeback single.
(BEAT)
But why hasn't it affected me? I can still hear perfectly.
KEITH:
You've been near me, remember? We were both protected.
(BEAT)
(FROWNING) Mind you, if that's the case, you might want to come back over here.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
What?
SEAN jams his index finger in his ear and pokes around desperately, looking scared. Meanwhile, HUGH and SUSAN are preoccupied trying to communicate by lip reading face to face.
HUGH (SHOUTING):
Please don't rush!
SUSAN (SHOUTING):
Pete's got thrush?
KEITH:
I'm so sorry...
SEAN rushes back over to KEITH, kneels before him and tries to force his head back under the balloons.
KEITH:
I guess it's all right to say 'I told you so', since you can't hear me.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
What will we do? How can the world function without hearing?
KEITH (STROKING HIS BALLOONS):
I wonder if people in the factories that make this are OK?
SEAN (SHOUTING AT HUGH AND SUSAN):
Listen... I mean, look, you two. Keith can still hear. He can get guide us.
SEAN uses crude sign language to augment his speech.
HUGH (SHOUTING):
Why does he need to hide us?
SEAN (SHOUTING):
No, no, Hugh. Sean knows others like him. He can network.
KEITH:
Actually, no... I don't know anyone else with electro-sensitivity. The G.P. gave me a web address but I won’t use computers, so I never followed it up.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
Sorry, I didn't get that, Keith.
KEITH:
I said, we're screwed. And we have been from the first moment we made machines more valuable than people.
KEITH (GRASPING HIS HEAD IN BOTH HANDS):
Ouch!
SEAN (SHOUTING):
What was it?
KEITH:
I'm not...ouch!
SEAN puts his hand on his trouser pocket, and pulls out his mobile phone, which he holds up triumphantly. KEITH backs away in fear.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
It's a text! Someone's texting me.
HUGH and SUSAN notice SEAN's phone and begin texting with their own.
KEITH:
No! No! Please, my head!
Within a few seconds KEITH has collapsed to the floor, grasping his head as if it is about to explode.
KEITH:
Stop! Everyone is texting now. I can feel it. The whole world is has gone thumb crazy.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
So what? The worst has already happened. We can't go any deafer!
KEITH:
But that’s only one symptom. I had dozens...
SEAN (SHOUTING):
I have absolutely no idea what you just said, but I think we can mange without you now, Keith.
A growing high-pitched squeal sends KEITH and the others, crashing to the floor in agony.
SCENE 8) INT Office. Much later. Emergency lights only.
SEAN wanders over towards the prone body of his former friend, KEITH. ALAN, JANET, HUGH and SUSAN are all out cold.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
Hey, you there! You still alive? What's happened?
KEITH stirs and slowly sits up. He looks around and finally notices SEAN leaning over him.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
I said...
KEITH (SHOUTING):
All right! All right! I'm not bloody... (LOOKS CONFUSED) Whatever the word is.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
What's that for? That... That silvery thing?
KEITH stares over at the cap lying on the floor.
KEITH:
I told you!
Something else has happened. Something worse.
KEITH starts to crawl over towards his cap.
SEAN (BEWILDERED):
Where are we? And who the hell are you?
KEITH:
Oh, no. Has he lost his memory?
(BEAT)
Yes, that’s it. Memory. I bet they’ve all lost it. First hearing, then memory. Hell, I'd better get this thing on sharpish, otherwise...
KEITH makes a desperate lunge for his cap.
SEAN (SHOUTING):
What’s that for, whatever your name is?
KEITH stares vacantly at the cap in his hands and then absently scrunches it up into a tight silver ball.
KEITH (SHOUTING):
Buggered if I know. Might help pass the time until...well, until someone comes. What do you think?
SEAN shrugs, scratching his head. SEAN and KEITH begin throwing the silver call back and forth. SEAN’s discarded mobile phone lies uselessly between them.
END.
DUMB ANGEL (FULL LENGTH VERSION)
SCENE 1) EST. INT. Suburban house. Hall lobby. Mid-morning.
There is a knock at the front door. DON (38) opens it eagerly. Outside is a man with a clipboard and a crate standing on end.
DELIVERY MAN:
Delivery for Mr. Wallis?
DON:
Yes. Bring it through, will you?
The DELIVERY MAN waves a small black box at the crate, making it hum. DON stares wide-eyed at the crate as it rises off the ground.
(CUT TO: LIVING ROOM.)
The Delivery man stands next to the crate, as he lowers it slowly to the floor using his black box.
DELIVERY MAN:
There we go.
DON reaches eagerly for the clipboard.
DELIVERY MAN (SARCASTICALLY):
D'you want to check 'it' over?
DON:
That won't be necessary.
The delivery man hands over a pen.
DELIVERY MAN:
Suit yourself. Here and here.
DON signs and thrusts the clipboard back into the delivery man's hands, eager to be rid of him.
DELIVERY MAN:
Listen, I know what it is, pal. No need to be coy.
DON:
Thank you, but I don't think...
DELIVERY MAN:
One bloke had three of them.
DON:
What?
DELIVERY MAN:
Three 'its'.
DON frowns, crossing his arms across his chest. The delivery man writes on the clipboard.
DELIVERY MAN:
Well, each to his own.
DON:
Look, if there's nothing else...
DELIVERY MAN:
Ever heard of the Kitty Club?
DON:
What... I don't have a cat.
DELIVERY MAN (LAUGHING):
No, no, no.
(BEAT)
It's a special club - you know, for people like you and...it.
DON raises his eyebrows. The delivery man hands DON a card.
DELIVERY MAN:
For when the novelty wears off...
The delivery man turns/ leaves with a wink. DON slams the door shut, flicks the card onto the hall table and skips away to open his crate.
SCENE 2) INT. Modern kitchen, spotless. Monday breakfast. One month later. Background classical music.
DON is eating with his wife, MARY (35). He stretches back in his seat, looking happy and satisfied with life.
DON (SIGHING):
I could get used to this.
MARY quietly nibbles toast like a model.
DON:
And it's you that's made it possible.
MARY takes another nibble. DON smiles at her.
DON:
I have to go, love. I trust you know what you have to do today.
MARY:
Clear the table, do the laundry, make the bed, dust the...
DON (CHUCKLING):
I don't need an inventory, Mary.
(BEAT)
You know, I still can't believe you're back. Just sitting there...
MARY stands up slowly, her face impassive. DON stands too and tosses his jacket over one arm. DON approaches MARY smiling and kisses her tenderly on the cheek.
DON (WHISPERED):
Time for work, Mary.
MARY nods. DON turns on his way out, grinning.
DON:
But when I get back we can... relax. OK?
SCENE 3) INT. Throughout the day in the same house.
Multiple shots of Mary cleaning, tidying, cooking, etc.
SCENE 4) INT. Back in the kitchen. Evening. Same day.
DON and MARY are eating dinner. DON's face looks tense; his expression sullen. He plays with his food, taking only occasional mouthfuls.
DON:
You could ask me how my day was.
MARY:
How was your day?
DON takes a deep breath; forces a smile.
DON:
Good. I'm way ahead of everyone else in the office and the orders are flying in. I'll shit gold next.
DON picks up his wine glass and grins into it before taking a sip. He attacks his meal a little more eagerly.
(BEAT)
How about yours?
MARY looks up, smiles, her hair and make-up perfect.
MARY:
Well, first I cleared the table...
DON looks up at MARY, annoyed, and she stops talking.
(BEAT)
DON:
Steve sends his regards.
MARY:
Steve?
DON bangs his fork down, spilling food onto the tablecloth.
DON:
He was asking if I'd seen you. I lied, of course.
MARY:
Shall I get dessert?
DON slams his knife down on the table, too. MARY does not flinch. DON sighs and rubs his temple.
DON:
I'm sorry. It's not your fault - that he asked, I mean. It's just that I don't want him sticking his nose in again.
DON looks into MARY's eyes.
DON:
He almost split us up for good. I can't allow that to happen again.
(HALF-BEAT)
And I won't let him ruin our evening.
DON stands, wearing a forced smile, pushing back his chair.
DON (SHARPLY):
Bring dessert through, will you, Mary? We'll watch a film together.
DON stalks through to the living room.
DON (SHOUTING):
Bring the wine, too. Let's live a little, eh?
SCENE 5) INT. Living room, subdued lighting. Big screen television. Later.
DON is lounging in the middle of the settee, his feet resting on the coffee table, his shirt unbuttoned to the waist. MARY enters with a tray containing two dessert bowls.
DON:
You'll like this, Mary. Though it's not the sort of film you get off the shelf, to be honest.
MARY puts the tray on the table and goes out again.
DON:
This is what real marriage is all about. Doing stuff together - undisturbed.
MARY returns, sits down. The movie starts.
DON:
I'm sorry we've not done this before; but the old you would never have approved.
MARY:
The old me?
DON:
Yes, you know? The first time. Before...
From the TV a girl squeals and a man chuckles. DON sits up.
DON:
Here we go.
DON puts his hand on MARY's knee and begins stroking it. On screen there are sounds of moaning and hungry kissing.
MARY:
What about dessert?
DON:
What? Oh... yer.
DON grabs his bowl from MARY and shovels the contents into his mouth. From the
screen comes a slap and a girl screams.
UNSEEN FEMALE ACTOR:
Please... You're hurting me.
DON (WHISPERED):
Wow. This guy knows what he wants.
GRUFF UNSEEN MALE ACTOR:
I thought your type liked it rough?
There is a sound of clothing being ripped, groaning, more slapping and louder cries of pain. DON stares wide-eyed.
UNSEEN FEMALE ACTOR:
Stop. I don't...
GRUFF UNSEEN MALE ACTOR:
Shut it! I'll decide what you like. And guess what? It's what I like.
DON is now on the edge of his seat. His stroking of MARY's knee has become forceful and rhythmic. He moves his hand up her thigh, closer to her crutch, his face red/sweating. From TV comes loud grunting and screams; then the sound of someone being choked.
MARY:
Are you ready for coffee now?
DON:
Oh, fucking hell, Mary...
DON leaps at MARY, dragging her down onto the carpet. DON's grunting quickly mingles with that of the UNSEEN MALE ACTOR. No sound is heard from MARY or the UNSEEN FEMALE ACTOR.
SCENE 6) INT. Later in MARY/DON'S bedroom. Single bedside lamp.
MARY is lying on her stomach. She stares to the side, away from DON, unblinking. DON sits up and leans over MARY. DON starts stroking MARY's back. She remains still.
DON (WHISPERED):
Look which cat got all the cream.
DON starts grinning to himself.
DON:
How was it for you, my angel?
DON chuckles and lays back down.
DON (UNSEEN):
He never really wanted you. It was all about getting at me.
(BEAT)
He wanted what he couldn't have - what he can never have.
DON laughs heartily, then quietens abruptly.
DON:
Cat got your tongue, love?
MARY:
I don't understand.
We hear DON spank MARY on the backside, hard. She does not cry out, merely blinks once.
DON:
Mary, Mary. Playing dumb. That's one thing that hasn't changed.
(BEAT)
Well, that suits me just fine. Now that I'm the cat with all the cream.
MARY's eyes continue to stare unblinking.
DON (YAWNING):
Good night, Mary. Sweet dreams.
DON guffaws, then the light goes out abruptly.
SCENE 7) EXT. MARY/DON's house. Front driveway. Early Wednesday evening.
DON's car rolls into the driveway. He steps out, approaches the front door, enters, and closes it behind him. Another car pulls up across the road, opposite the house. The driver's face cannot be seen at this point.
SCENE 8) INT. Living room. Seconds later.
DON tosses his jacket onto the settee and rubs his forehead. MARY is by the kitchen door, wearing her customary smile.