“You’re not huh? So you are going to stand here and tell me that you have had no contact with your brother, Alex, since his arrest? Or that bitch of a cousin of yours that tried to kill Colleen just to have Carson’s money? You never talked to either of them? That you have no other motive?”
Shit!
Chapter Nineteen
Mary
Jerking awake, my head was pounding. “Oh God does my head ever hurt.”
It took me a few minutes to register the voices in the living room. There was screaming, very loud screaming. I held my head and groaned. Getting out of the bed, I grabbed my robe and headed for the door. I had just opened the door when I heard my brother Elijah talk. I froze in my tracks to listen.
“You’re not huh? So you are going to stand here and tell me that you have had no contact with your brother, Alex, since his arrest? Or that bitch of a cousin of yours that tried to kill Colleen just to have Carson’s money? You never talked to either of them? That you have no other motive?”
His brother Alex? Didn’t he say he was an only child? His brother was arrested; what for? He was related to the nutball that was after Carson? So many questions began to pour through my already pounding head. The main concern here is how well do I really know Tobey? It seems he lied to me about having a brother. What else has he lied to me about?
“Okay, first, like I said I only found out about him after losing my parents. It hardly makes him count as my brother. Even if we share the same mother. It doesn’t make us related. Second, I am NOT like him or her. I would never hurt anyone; that is just not who I am. You can ask anyone who knows me. My parents raised me to be respectful of women. Okay now, yes I have had contact with Alex since he was arrested, but I didn’t know what he was arrested for. I didn’t know what he did to Kayla. Or even what my cousin did. I don’t have television out here and it’s a little far out for the paper to be delivered. I didn’t know. They called and told me that they were set up and no one would believe them because fake evidence was planted…by your family. I didn’t know what was going on. I swear to you the minute I found out…The minute I met Mary, I second guessed everything that they told me. Then I met all of you guys later. I figured out that he was lying to me. I fell in love with Mary. I would never hurt her.”
“But you were going to, weren’t you? That was what he wanted you to do wasn’t it? Seek revenge for him? Seek revenge for the man that brutally raped and almost killed my sister? Seek revenge for the woman that kidnapped my pregnant sister-in-law and tried to kill her several times? Right?”
“Yes, but that was before I found out…”
I didn’t hear anything after that, I didn’t need to. Something in me knew exactly what he was going to say. I was the revenge.
I was so stupid! God! I believed him!
Anger surged me forward increasing the pain I was already in, but I was grateful for it because it kept me from crying when I stormed down the hallway and confronted him.
“You used me!”
Tobey turned and paled. But I didn’t care, not right now, nothing mattered right now other than the fact that he used me!
“How could you say you loved me, make love to me and not mean it?! Was this part of your revenge to rip my heart out and watch it shatter? If it was, you succeeded. It’s shattered, you broke me. This is why I never trust men. They’re all the same, out for themselves! You may not have wanted me for my celebrity status but you wanted something from me all the same! How could I have been that stupid?” My voice broke on the last word and I knew keeping my emotions in check was over. Turning, I stormed down the hall and slammed the door.
After I quickly dressed, I grabbed my bags out of the closet and began to pack my things. Tears running unchecked down my face. “How could I have been so stupid to think he loved me?” Mumbling to myself. The door flung open then.
“Mary, sweetheart, please listen to me.”
Whirling around so fast that I got a little dizzy doing so. “Do NOT call me that! Ever again! Do you hear me?”
Walking over to the closet, I started pulling my clothes off the hangers and taking them to my suitcase.
“What are you doing?” He asked almost sounding panicked.
“Leaving, I’m not staying here with you. I don’t want to see or hear from you again!”
Tobey grabbed my hands and fell to his knees. This caused me to stop and look at him.
“Please don’t leave me. I love you. I didn’t know in the beginning but once I fell in love with you it was never going to happen. I never meant to hurt you. You are my heart. My everything. I love you. Please don’t leave.” He begged as I watched a tear fall down his cheek and then the other.
Yanking my hands from his, I turned and finished packing. “You don’t love me because if you did we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
Zipping up my suitcase, I winced as I carried it out of the room. When I got to the door I stopped with my hand on the door knob and said with my back to Tobey, “I really do love you. I wish I didn’t, but I do. Leave me alone. I mean it. Goodbye Tobey.” I opened the door and headed down the hall.
“Mary, please,” he pleaded.
Tobey came running after me, “Mary please, don’t do this. Please don’t leave. You’re breaking my heart here.”
Dropping my suitcase right in front of my brother and Jason, I turned and stormed toward Tobey. “I am breaking your heart! I am breaking your heart!” Pushing him with every sentence. “You broke mine. You lied to me. You said you loved me and you didn’t mean it! You just wanted to get revenge for your sick ass psycho family! Well mission accomplished. Revenge complete. Leave me the HELL alone!!” I turned, grabbed my suitcase and headed out to my brother’s car. Throwing my suitcase in the car, I drove off. I didn’t care what my brother thought of me driving his sweet baby. It was his fault that my happiness was gone.
Tears streaming down my cheeks, I watched in the review mirror as Tobey chased after the car. I watched until he disappeared from sight. The last thing I saw was him fall to his knees and put his face in his hands. It was an image that will stay with me always because today my heart was really broken.
Chapter Twenty
Tobey
Helplessly, I watched her drive away. She tore down my driveway with my heart dragging the ground behind it. My chest ached and I felt my world slipping away. The last of the red glow disappeared from view and my heart shattered.
“God I lost her! She’s…She’s gone,” I whispered sadly, rubbing my chest as the pain consumed it.
Never in my life have I felt a pain like this. It was one that would never heal, I knew that already. I just lost the one good thing in my life. The one thing that made each day better just by knowing she was there. And I lost it all because of a guy that happened to share the same gene pool with me and a cousin who changed in the years we haven’t talked. How could I have been so fucking stupid?
Feeling a hand on my shoulder brought me out of my thoughts and the pain that turned to rage. “I suggest you remove your hand from my shoulder before I break it in two.” I hissed, hatred dripping from every word spoken.
The hand removed almost immediately. “I’m sorry man. I didn’t realize…”
Whirling around and on my feet faster than he could blink I punched. Rage blinded me, pain clouded my judgment. My fists flew and I didn’t care what damage I did. Then a thought occurred to me. The only person I had to blame here was myself. I was the one that agreed to do it and I was the one that started it. Elijah and Jason were just protecting their family. It was at that point of realization that Jason pulled me off Elijah.
Pulling from Jason’s hold, I made my way back to my house. How could I have let this happen? How could I have let my estranged family (at best) talk me into doing something like that in the first place? Now because of them, I sit here with a pain that no matter what, wouldn’t be going away. I hurt her and that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I wanted to protect
her, cherish her and love her.
“I know you’re angry at me but if you would just give me a second to talk to you…”
“I think you’ve talked enough, don’t you? You got what you wanted, she’s gone. She’s not with me anymore. Near the guy who just happens to be related to two pieces of shit and get punished for it. Get off my property before I call the sheriff!”
“Just give her time, Tobey. She will calm down and see the truth behind the situation. Just give her time.” At that Elijah and Jason got into Jason’s car and drove off. I walked into my house and into my room to get dressed.
The minute I stepped into my room, her smell hit me. It consumed, almost suffocated me. There was no way I was going to be able to go anywhere in my house without seeing or feeling her around me, with me. When my eyes began to blur with tears again, I hurried and got dressed and headed out to the kitchen to make breakfast for the guys that would be arriving any minute. They would be expecting a grand breakfast. Well not this morning because I screwed up and now Mary is gone. As I went to pull out a pan to cook, I just lost it and started throwing them.
Scott, Joel, John and Harry could hear the noise from outside and ran into the house fast.
“Whoa! Tobey! Calm down, you are going to wake Mary and I am sure her head is…”
Scott’s sentence trailed off when I turned and looked at them, knowing they could see my pain.
“You don’t have to worry about that because she isn’t here.” I forced out turning away from them.
“Tobey!” Scott yelled.
When I looked at Scott, I could see the rage on his face. Something told me I was about to be given the ‘I told you so’ speech. Frankly, I didn’t want to hear but knew I deserved it.
“I told you when you left here that day that it was going to be you in the end that was hurt. Didn’t I? Why couldn’t you just fucking listen to me you asshole?” He roared before decking me.
“Scott man, calm down. He just lost her.” John tried to calm Scott down.
“I didn’t know I’d fall in love with her. I didn’t know what they told me was a lie. Fuck why did I do it?” Dropping to the floor, I leaned against the cupboards.
“Do what? I’m confused.” Joel asked.
“My half-brother and cousin contacted me. They told me they were framed. My cousin and I grew up together. We were close so when she told me the same story as my brother…” I shrugged. “I didn’t know about what happened to Kayla or to Carson’s fiancée. Now thinking with a clearer head, I should have investigated it out sooner.”
“Hold up!” Scott yelled. “You did this for the same people that damn near killed two people?”
“I didn’t know.”
Joel took a step backward and looked at everyone in the room. “I had a problem warming up to Mary at first. After going through what I did with the woman I loved, I could see the signs in her actions. Now, you’re telling me that you were going to be the same kind of evil she was fighting against. You couldn’t be that evil Tobey. You know why?”
I shook my head. “Because I’m not that kind of person?” I answered weakly.
“No, you couldn’t be that kind of evil because the evil you are is worse. You were worse than her abuser. Because you let her believe you cared about her, loved her. You inflicted wounds on her that are far worse than physical ones. You gave her emotional scars. Those will never heal.”
“Joel, I love her.”
“No you don’t because if you did. If you truly cared about her. You would have told her the truth the minute you knew you loved her. Instead you hid it from her. You hurt her. I don’t care how she found out the truth, you were the one that made there be a truth to find out. The relationship you guys had was built on a lie. That’s the reason it crumbled so fast. I really liked Mary though she deserved so much better, but then I saw how you two looked at each other and I thought she just might get it. You aren’t the guy I thought you were, Tobey. To hurt her like that.” He shakes his head. “I’ll continue working here only because I love this ranch, but I won’t be here for meals and nothing outside of work.” He looks at me again shaking his head.
“Same goes for me.” Scott said, then turned and left.
“Me too.” John said following Scott out.
Harry looks at me sadly, but says nothing. He just walked out. I knew he meant it too. Leaning my head against the cupboard, my life fell apart. Nothing was left. I not only lost the love of my life, but I lost my family too. The only family I had left.
Pulling out my phone, I decided to give texting her a shot. I wasn’t expecting a reply, but hopefully at least she’d read it. Maybe cause her to think about everything.
Please read this. I don’t expect you to reply. There are just some things I need to explain to you. Before you think that any of what I’m about to tell you is supposed to excuse my actions in anyway. It’s not meant that way. Just want to hopefully answer any of the questions running through your head so you can have some peace of mind.
About a month before I met you, my parents died. They were riding to a show for one of our horses… I’m not fully sure what happened but they wrecked. It wasn’t until I arrived at the hospital and waited for them to come out of surgery did I get the news that they didn’t make it. I was lost. They were all I had. Well and the guys. After a week, I started to go through their house. Scott now lives there. Anyway, I was in their office when I found papers telling me of this son my mother had with another man. Not fully sure what the reason behind everything was, but their divorce said she wanted nothing to do with him or their son, restraining orders were put in place and everything.
I’m a family man Mary. Family is top priority to me. I checked him out. That was when I found out he was in jail. I didn’t know what for. Didn’t think to ask either. I wanted to meet him. So I went to the place he was at and he started telling me how he was in love with this girl, but her family didn’t like him. So to get them apart they had him arrested on false charges and planted evidence to prove their case. He said there was no saving him because the two lawyers and cops that put him in there were all family and would never go against the other, so he asked me to take care of it.
Later I get a call from my cousin Dani. Her and I were so close growing up. She came up to our ranch every summer. She was the closest thing I had to a sibling. Then she tells me that her fiancé is being blackmailed and because of it was forced to turn on her and put her in jail. I won’t get into all the specifics in this message. But then she asked me to help her.
They both told me that you were the one behind it all. That you wanted my brother but he was in love with your sister. Then your friend wanted Carson. Anyway, they asked me to break your perfect name so they might be able to be seen as the innocent parties they were. Mary, I don’t like television. It’s the reason I haven’t put one in yet. Lame excuse I know, but it’s the truth.
Then you started telling me the story of Kayla and things started not making sense. Then the guys told me about Kayla and Carson. And I started having more doubts. Not to mention at that point I’m pretty damn sure I was in love with you. When I came up and saw you on the porch in my mom’s swing, I had just gotten back from the library proving my family completely wrong and giving up on their revenge.
Never in any moment we shared, or things that I said did I say them in the pretense to hurt you. Everything I have said to you I’ve meant. When I said I loved you, I meant it. I love you very much Mary. Again this message is not to excuse my actions. I made the mistake of trusting the wrong people, I deserve what I get. I just don’t want you to think that you are unworthy of anything good in your life. No matter how much time passes, I will always love you. You are my everything. Will always be everything to me. You have my heart whether you want it or not. What you do with it is up to you.
I hope you read this. I can’t explain how sorry I am and how badly I miss you. Every bit of pain, sorrow, loss and loneliness I feel from this day forward, I d
eserve but you don’t. Please don’t keep yourself from being happy because I screwed up. I love you. ~Tobey~
It took forever to type that, but really what else did I have to do. Texting her was the only form of contact I had and the only way I thought she might at least gain all the facts. In my heart I knew she wouldn’t forgive me, but I deserved that. The only thing I held on to was hope…hope that she will one day come back to me and my heart can be whole once again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Mary
Leaving Tobey was the hardest thing I have ever done, but what I found even harder was watching as my family tip toed around me. They treated me like I would break any moment. Maybe I would, but I definitely won’t do it in front of them.
When I drove away from the ranch, I contemplated staying in a hotel versus going home to my parents but in the end I wanted a hug from my dad. His hugs were always what helped calm every emotion I had. Only this time it didn’t work. It only made me long for the arms of a man that betrayed me.
Pushing him out of my head was proving difficult even as the days dragged on. For the first two days I stayed up in my room. I didn’t want to be bothered by anyone. Of course when you live in a family like mine that never happens. Being left alone when you’re hurting is absolutely not possible.
Even ignoring everything everyone said to me and not responding didn’t detour them from coming in and bothering me. I just wanted to be left alone. That wasn’t happening so I finally started coming down the stairs after that. Never talking to anyone, but at least they were off my back about staying up in my room.
Family Ties (Hidden Secrets) Page 17