“Yeah, we are,” Elijah adds. “We’re together, and I don’t give a shit who knows and who doesn’t. Alice and I are together, from this day forward.”
I swing around and look at him. “Shouldn’t we talk about this?”
“What’s there to talk about?” He shrugs. “I like you, you like me. Isn’t that enough?”
He’s right, and he’s proven time and again how he feels about me. Seeing me home from the bar, protecting me from the guy at the party that night who tried to drag me out, and the picnic at school today. “I’m suspicious, Elijah.” His shoulders slump forward, but quickly he nods his head and pulls them back again. Not once does he let me go, or show any indications of anger for not giving him what he wants.
“I get it, but I’m going to keep fighting for you until you can see I’m not a bad guy.”
“I already know you’re not a bad guy. Just the guy who keeps giving in to temptation when pretty girls throw themselves at you. That’s my concern, that when someone else, who’s prettier, and willing to do stuff with you that I won’t—comes along, I’ll suddenly be yesterday’s news.” I look over at Becky who’s backed away and is snuggling with Laurie.
“That won’t happen.”
“Why won’t it happen? Because I’ll get it out there right now, Elijah, I’m not having sex with you until I’m ready. And that’s if I’ll ever be ready with you.”
“What do you mean?” He draws his brows together again and looks at me with concern etched on his face.
“You could tire of me saying no, and go to someone who’ll say yes the first time.” He throws his head back and laughs, at the same time moving one of his hands to squeeze my thigh. “It’s not funny,” I bark at him, pissed off.
“It is to me.” I roll my eyes. “It’s funny to me, because you think I’m going to ask for sex, when in fact, I’m going to take all my cues from you. If and when you’re ready, then it’s going to be me who will show you what it means to make love. No other fucker is going to put his hands on you. And don’t worry, I can wait.”
Make love?! Nervously I laugh. “Make love, huh? I never took you as the ‘making love’ kind.”
“That’s because I’ve never been with anyone I’ve wanted to make love with.”
Boom. What just happened? My heart has decided to fall for Elijah. Damn you, stupid heart. Slow down.
“Hey, Alley-cat, we have to get going,” Becky says, interrupting me staring at Elijah; the bell sounding in the background.
I start to get off his knee, but he tightens his arm around my waist and brings me back down onto him. “We have to go,” I say. “We’ll be late.”
“I know, but I want to hold you for as long as I can.” Thump-thump. “Laurie, can you give me a lift home after you take the girls?” He places me on my feet, slides his hand down to mine and links our fingers together.
The four of us walk toward class, and I can’t help but be totally blown away by today’s events. “Hey,” Becky whispers in my ear as Laurie goes ahead to class.
“Hey,” I say with a smile so large I swear the space station could see if from up in space.
“He’s a good guy.” She winks at me, then her eyes dart behind me to where Elijah now is.
“I hope so. I just don’t wanna be hurt by him.”
“Darlin,’ there’s no way that boy will hurt you,” she adds, then takes off down the hall to find Laurie.
“What was that about?” Elijah asks.
Truthfully, I have no idea. One moment Becky is giving Elijah a hard time, putting him through the wringer and giving him shit; and now, she’s so happy Elijah and I are together. “I think she’s happy we’re together.”
Elijah lifts our joined hands, and kisses the top of mine.
I’m fairly sure I’ve made the right decision to give him a chance. I’m just praying he doesn’t break my heart and turn out to be the jerk he’s rumored to be.
“You awake?” I feel Becky shove on my shoulder, rousing me from deep sleep.
“Yeah, go away,” I say as I turn over to my side.
“I wanna talk,” she persists, and pokes my shoulder again.
Opening one eye, my alarm clock tells me it’s just before nine in the morning. The sun’s rays peeking in through the blinds confirm the time. “We’ll talk when I’m conscious.” I close my eyes again, and sleep quickly erases Becky’s rude interruption.
“Are you awake now?” Becky asks.
I sigh and groan at the same time. “No.”
I feel the bed shift beside me, and the next thing I’m assaulted with her licking up my face. “Yuck, Becky!” I yell, springing out of bed and wiping at my face. “That’s gross.” I shudder as I wipe my face. Becky sits up in bed and crosses her legs, looking damn pleased with herself. “What is so important you had to wake me?” Yawning, I stand, stretch tall, and bend at the waist, placing my hands flat on the floor and getting a great stretch through the back of my legs.
“Laurie and I have been having sex.”
As I’m half hanging upside down, I roll my eyes at Becky. “I know. You tell me all about it,” I grumble. “And please don’t tell me you woke me to tell me about your sexual experiences with Laurie.”
“Nah. Well yeah, kinda.”
I stand from my stretch and shake out my legs. “Do I need to have breakfast for this conversation?” I ask as I blink drearily at her.
“I don’t want your dad to hear, so can we stay in here?”
“Dad’s probably at work. But Mom would be here.”
“Hmm,” Becky sighs and looks sideways away from me. She obviously considering the implication of whatever it is she wants to talk to me about. She scrunches her mouth together and sighs again.
“I’m going for breakfast. I’m hungry.” I open the door to my room, and go to the bathroom. When I’m done, I head into the kitchen, where Mom’s sitting in her regular chair, drinking coffee from her favorite mug. I bought it for her a few years ago for Mother’s Day. “Morning,” I say to Mom and head over to give her a kiss.
“Good morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?” She was holding her tablet, reading, and she places it flat on the kitchen table when I come in.
“I’m still tired.” Thanks to Becky. But suddenly I remember how Elijah’s lips were on mine. Heat floods me, as my breath hitches.
Mom arches one eyebrow and tilts her head to the side. “Hmm, why the pink cheeks? Care to share?” My mouth instantly pulls up in a smile. “Now you’re beaming.” Mom stands and walks over to the fridge. “Sit down, I’ll make breakfast. Is Becky awake yet?”
“Yeah she is. She’ll be out in a minute, I have no idea what she’s doing.” I look down the hall and can hear a faint whisper of her voice. She must be on the phone to Laurie.
“I’ll make eggs. What do you want to drink?” Mom asks. “Then you can tell me why you’re so happy.”
“I’ll grab us some juice.” I shuffle over to the fridge, grab the O.J and two glasses and head back to the kitchen table wedged into the far corner.
Mom starts cracking eggs and making breakfast when Becky waltzes out of my bedroom with a huge smile on her face. “Morning,” she announces and comes to sit beside me. She grabs the juice and pours one for each of us.
“Morning, Becky. Sleep well?” Mom asks as she turns her head over her shoulder to acknowledge my best friend. Becky is a permanent fixture in our house. Mom’s never surprised to find her here.
“Yeah I did.”
“What has my daughter so happy?” Mom asks.
“Did Miss Ballerina tell you about Elijah?” Becky says. My eyes find hers and I widen them at her, silently telling her I haven’t told Mom yet.
“No, she hasn’t. What about Elijah?” Mom turns from the stove where she’s making us eggs. She leans an arm against the counter top and scrutinizes me with her ‘mom eyes.’ “So?” she pushes.
“He may have kissed me.”
Mom smiles and turns back to the eggs. “May h
ave? How do you not know if he kissed you or not?”
“He did kiss me.”
“Is that all?” I can hear the strain in Mom’s voice. I know others are having sex now, and some started when they were younger, but I’m not ready for that. I want to make sure whoever I give my virginity to isn’t going to say thanks and dump me the next day.
“Yeah that’s all.”
Mom turns again, this time with two plates of scrambled eggs and brings them over to Becky and me. “If you’re going to have sex, then let me know so we can talk about it. I can’t stop you, although I’d prefer you wait.”
“She’s waiting, Mrs. B. She’s not giving her V-card up to anyone.” Mom may want Becky to call her mom, but Becky seems to revert back to Mrs. B all the time.
I lean my elbow on the side of the table, and palm slap my forehead. “Really, Becky? You can’t just drop that on Mom over eggs!”
“I’m more than happy for either of you to tell me that over eggs. Now, Becky, what’s going on with you and Laurie?” Mom seems quite satisfied with what she’s heard, but somehow I don’t think she’ll leave it alone. I’m fairly certain, she’s going to wait until Becky’s not around so she can question me. And I’m okay with that.
“Laurie and I are already having sex,” Becky says so matter-of-factly.
Mom cringes slightly, but quickly regroups and pulls herself together. “Are you being safe?” she asks while picking her coffee cup up and swirling it around.
“Laurie wears a condom.” Becky shovels eggs in and then sips on her juice.
“He doesn’t pressure you, does he?” Mom asks.
I remain quiet, just eating my breakfast and listening to the conversation Mom and Becky are having.
“No way, it’s usually me who instigates it.”
I look to Mom, who lets out a small breath. “Does your father know?”
Becky nods, finishes chewing then adds, “He said as long as I don’t get knocked up he doesn’t want to know.”
“Are you on the pill, Becky?” Mom asks.
“Actually, I kinda wanted to talk to Alice about it. But considering this conversation is going where it is, I may as well talk to you about it too.”
“Talk to me? What do you want to talk to me about?” I ask.
“I want to go on the pill, ‘cause I don’t want to get knocked up. And I was going to ask you if you’d come with me?” Her eyes plead with me. “Please?”
“I’ll go with you,” Mom offers.
“Will you?” Becky enthusiastically replies. “Really?”
“I’ll make an appointment, and I’ll take you.”
“Thank you.” Becky stands, goes around to Mom’s side and throws her arms around her in a hug. “Are you okay with this, Alice?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Becky’s mom and mine were friends before we were born, so naturally, Becky and I were friends from birth. With Becky’s mom having passed away, my Mom stepped in to do the best she can.
“Becky, I may have given birth to only one gorgeous girl, but I consider myself a mom to two.” Becky looks at Mom, tears sparkle in her eyes and she puts her head down, obviously affected by what Mom’s said.
“That’s beautiful, Mom.” I lean over to hug her.
Becky joins in, and hugs us too.
Suddenly an excruciating pain shoots through my head, just behind my right eye. “Oh man,” I cry and rub my hand over the pounding spot.
“What is it?” Mom asks.
“I think I’m due for my period, and I just got this intense pain behind my eye.” I look to Mom and Becky who’ve unfolded away from each other. “Have we got any Tylenol?”
“Have another bite to eat, and I’ll get you two tablets.” Mom sweeps her hand over my forehead, then with the back of her hand she checks my cheeks. “You don’t feel hot. When are you due for your period?” Mom asks.
“I think tomorrow, I’m not sure. I have to check my calendar.” I take another bite of my breakfast, but nausea is settling in my stomach and I doubt I’ll be able to have more than one more mouthful of eggs.
Mom gets up and goes to the medical box she keeps up high in one of the kitchen cupboards, finds the bottle and shakes two tablets out for me. “Here you go.” She hands me the tablets and I take them with some juice. “Why don’t you go lay down? Becky and I can clean up.”
“It’s her fault,” I snarl toward Becky.
She looks at me smiling, and points to herself. “Moi?” she says in a high-pitched voice.
“Yes you, you woke me up early.” Sliding out from the seat, I start toward my room. Overwhelmed with tiredness and the loud, thumping ache in my head, I fall instantly to sleep.
I’m awakened by Mom’s gentle hand rubbing circles on my back. “Is everything okay?” I ask through my slurred voice.
“I’m just checking on you, making sure you’re okay,” she says in a soft whisper. “How’s the head?”
I blink a couple of times, trying to find focus after waking up. Sitting up in bed I rub my hand over my face. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” I look around my room and notice Becky’s bag is missing. “Has Becky gone?”
“She said she had practice with her band and she’ll call you later.”
“Okay.” I slide back down and pull the thin covers up to under my chin. “What time is it?” I ask, though I turn my head to find it’s almost three in the afternoon.
“Three,” Mom answers the moment I see it.
“Man, I must’ve needed that.”
“Scoot over.” I move on my bed, and Mom lies beside me. “So, I want to know how things are between you and Elijah.” I knew it.
I smile at just the sound of his name. “He made me a picnic and brought it to school.”
Mom’s eyes light up, “Did he?” she asks.
“Yeah, and he’s fighting hard for me.”
“How so?”
“Elijah’s got a little bit of a reputation at school, Mom.” Mom is super cool, although she’s my Mom she can still give good advice about things without playing the Mom card.
“What type of reputation?” She places her hands together and tucks them under her cheek.
“He’s kind of . . .” A man whore. “Well, he likes girls. A lot of them.”
“I see.” But she doesn’t flinch or make any type of face to indicate she’s not happy about me and him together.
“You know that party Becky and I went to?” She nods her head. “Some guy tried to drag me out.”
“WHAT?” Mom yells and sits up in my bed.
“No-no. Not like that.” Mom’s shoulders are vibrating with anger, and her eyes are wide with fury. “Not like that. He was dancing with me, and edging me away from the party. Elijah saw it and smashed the guy in the nose.”
Mom’s brows fly up in surprise as her shoulders relax a little. “Okay, tell me more.” She crosses her legs and waits for me to continue.
“I wasn’t in danger. The guy offered to get me a drink, but all the times you’ve said never to accept a drink from a stranger stuck with me. Then he was trying to lead me away from the party, and well, Elijah stepped in and I think he broke the guy’s nose. He left after that though, and Elijah stuck with me the rest of the night.”
“Huh, I’m almost liking Elijah now.”
“Almost?” I crinkle my nose at Mom.
“You yourself said he’s liked a lot of girls. I’m not an idiot, Alice, I know exactly what that means. And now he likes my girl, which means I need to make sure he’s not going to like you the way he’s liked all the others,” Mom says in a deadpan voice.
My cheeks turn pink, because Mom is talking about Elijah and me having sex, and him dumping me once he does. “I’ve already told him I’m not going to have sex with him until I’m ready.”
Mom swallows hard, her eyelashes crazily blinking together. I’ve just admitted to my Mom that I may end up having sex with Elijah. I feel my face turn into an inferno.
Mom nods her hea
d, and drags a hand through her long hair. “Okay, so you’re considering that you may have sex with him.” I nod my head, albeit very slowly. “And how did Elijah respond?”
“He told me he’s going to take his cues from me, and he won’t put any pressure on me at all.”
Mom takes a deep breath. “Look, as your mom I have to tell you that having sex now at your age is too young. But at the same time, I don’t have blinders on either. You’re sixteen, and being sixteen in today’s day and age is very different than when I was sixteen. So I’m going to say what I have to say. If you decide you do want to have sex with him, please talk to me first so I can show you the right way to put a condom on, and to make sure you’re on the pill. You need to make sure you’re responsible about it, which means I need to make sure I’m responsible as your parent and give you the right information about whatever I can.”
I chuckle nervously. “I wonder how many parents talk to their kids the way we talk?” I ask. “I think most wouldn’t want to know.”
“Look at Becky’s dad. He’s okay knowing she’s having sex, but other than telling her to be safe, he hasn’t said anything else. We had a good talk when you were asleep. I must admit, it was weird, but I’d rather her know she can come to me and ask me anything, and I’ll give the truth about it all. She’s a talented guitarist, and she could very well go somewhere with those skill of hers, just like you can with ballet. I don’t want to see either of you make an error in judgement, and think once without a condom or protection is okay, because that once could result in a baby.”
“Geez, I’m nowhere near ready to have kids.” I shudder at the mere thought.
“And truthfully, pregnancy is the least of your problems. There are so many sexually transmitted diseases out there. And it’s not who you’re sleeping with that is the major concern, it’s who they’ve slept with that is. They may have only slept with one person, but that person may have slept with ten, and it keeps going from there.”
I shudder at the thought of who and how many people Elijah has been with, in turn how many people the people he’s been with have been with. “I promise, Mom, I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”
Dying Wish Page 11