Souls entwined
Now you’re an angel in the sky
Dance while you sleep
While I stand here in wonder
Let your soul free like you dance in your dreams
Dance while you sleep
Timeless forever
Just like you’re dancing with me
You let me be who I wanted to be
We always thought we’d grow old together
Who could have seen that you’d ever leave
Now your spirit lives on forever.
You let me be who I wanted to be
We always thought we’d grow old together
Who could have seen that you’d ever leave
Now your spirit lives on forever.
Dance while you sleep
While I stand here in wonder
Let your soul free like you dance in your dreams
Dance while you sleep
Timeless forever
Just like you’re dancing with me
Just like you’re dancing….
Trust is something that has to be earned. It’s not freely given.
There are some people in our lives we automatically trust. We believe everything our parents say and do. We know their actions and instincts are always to protect and teach us.
We learn to trust those with whom we develop a bond of friendship.
Strangers don’t have our trust. We’re wary of them; we keep them at arm’s length until they prove themselves to us.
Trust, once earned, can also be ripped away. That can happen over a period of time or in an instant.
Tonight I’ll discover how cruel the world can be when trust is brutally torn away…
It’s days like today I wish I was dead.
“Lily Anderson, you get your ugly ass out here right this minute. Don’t make me come after you,” Daddy screams.
He’s so angry. I knew the moment I heard him come home from work I was in for it. I was in my bedroom, lying on the floor trying to do my math. He slammed the front door so hard the windows in my room shook.
And then I knew, I knew I was in for it.
“Lily Anderson!” he yells again.
As soon as I heard him yell I ran to my hiding spot. I’m inside the closet in the hallway, wedged as far into the corner as I can get. Mom’s old coat hangs in front of me and I can still smell a faint waft of the perfume she used to wear.
“Lily Anderson!” he shouts. I can hear the anger in his voice and I can already feel the pain he’s going to inflict on me when he opens the closet door. I know what’s coming.
I close my eyes tight, scrunching them up so no light can seep through. I put my hands over my ears so I can’t hear him.
“I swear to God; if I have to find you, you will not sit for a month.”
My knees are folded into my chest. I’m trying to make myself small, invisible, so he forgets I’m here. I’m rocking myself, trying to block out what he’s saying.
School is safe. School is safe. School is safe. I keep repeating the mantra because in a few short hours I’ll be back at school. Maybe tomorrow I can go to the library after school, stay there until it closes and then sneak in after Dad’s passed out, because he’s had too much to drink.
It was never like this before.
I’m twelve years old and I can remember when Mom, Dad, and I were all happy. But that was years ago. It’s been a long time since there’s been any happiness in this house.
Well, before Mom died, and not a day since.
Mom died when I was nine. I don’t remember much about her, except I remember her telling me how ugly I am. How life would be better if I were taken away from them. How I’ll never be anything, because I’m stupid and ugly.
Sometimes I dream happy things. Like me, Mom, Dad and a little blond-haired boy all going for a picnic. The sun beamed down on us as we played outside and laughed. We’d eat yummy sandwiches Mom made for us, and we’d drink homemade lemonade. We’d spend hours outside, laughing and talking and just having fun. Mom would tell me how pretty I am, and how much she loved me. She would play with my hair, braid it, and then we’d go and pick bright flowers to take home and put in a vase. Dad would smile and call us “his girls”, always kissing Mom and hugging me. Dad would put the little boy on his shoulders and run around the park, trying to catch the clouds.
I love those dreams, and I hold onto them; wishing they were real. But I’ve never had a mom like that, and my dad doesn’t talk much unless it’s with his fists, or to tell me how ugly and useless I am.
I feel him walking around the house. The floorboards creak and the vibrations from his footsteps come through the floor to where my bottom is. I close my eyes tighter and try and breathe as quietly as I can.
Please go away, Daddy. Please go away.
My heart is beating so fast. My hands are shaking and I’m trying really hard not to think about what’s going to happen the minute he opens the closet door.
Shhh, it’s so quiet. The only sound is my heart thrumming in my ears. Nothing else. Not a whisper, not a rattle…nothing.
Maybe Daddy’s left. Maybe he’s gone to the pub to have a few drinks. Maybe, just maybe, he’s left...forever.
I take a deep breath and just relax for a moment. My shoulders drop and I finally stop rocking.
Slowly I take my hands down from my ears, and I’m so happy because I can’t hear him yelling at me. I can’t hear him at all.
Gradually, I begin to unscrunch my eyes from the way I’ve tightly closed them. But something’s not right. There’s light coming into the closet.
I don’t even get a chance to open them fully before a rough hand reaches in, latches onto my ponytail and yanks.
“I told you it’d be worse for you if I had to find you,” Dad says, as he drags me out of the closet by my hair.
I’m desperately trying to hold onto my head so he doesn’t rip my hair out. My feet are trying to find traction on the dirty floorboards.
“Please, Daddy. Please. You’re hurting me,” I begin sobbing as I plead with him.
“Then your ugly ass should’ve come when I called you, you stupid bitch. You’re fucking worthless, you ugly idiot,” he says. But now his voice is calm as he continues to drag me toward the family room.
That’s when he’s most scary. When his voice is low and his eyes are filled with hate.
He throws me against the side of the sofa and takes a step back to look at me.
I look up and can see he’s the angriest I’ve ever seen him. “You dumb, ugly piece of shit,” he says, as he paces back and forth in front of me.
“Sorry, Daddy. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry.” I cower into myself, trying to make myself as small as possible.
“You’re just too fucking stupid, aren’t you?” he spits toward me as he brings his hand up to scratch at his chin.
“I’m sorry,” I say again. Tears are falling hot and fast down my cheeks. My head hurts from where he was pulling my hair, but I don’t dare try to rub the spot.
“You ugly fuck.” He kicks a boot into my leg.
The pain is instant and my leg feels like it’s shattered. “Please, Daddy,” I beg again, burying my face into my hands.
But ‘please’ never seems to work.
Nothing does.
I’ve just got to take the beatings, because that’s what stupid, ugly girls do.
When Alice’s journey began, I wanted to take her in a completely different direction. However, as with all my books, my characters dictate where the story will go. Alice was no different. She spoke with me, telling me how she wanted Dying Wish to end, and I had no option but to honor her wish.
Alice, Becky and Elijah have been the most challenging and emotional people I’ve had the privilege to write about.
They came to me at a time when I was unsure of my path, and they showed me how important it is to be true to yourself.
Yes, their relationships are not ordinary ones. Personally, I believe they’re ext
raordinary. Their love is so deep, so profound that even in death, they’re in love.
I’ve cried many tears writing this story, and even more reading it back. I felt the loss of Alice, and I mourned her. To me, Alice is the sweetest, most selfless girl I’ve ever known.
They say opposites attract, and I wholeheartedly believe in this. Especially now.
Thank you for reading their story, and I hope they brought love into your heart.
Since I started writing in the young adult (YA) genre, I’ve found a true love for writing. This genre inspires me, makes me want to push myself and be the best writer I can be.
I have to say thank you to some very special people who have made this journey something truly magical. I was talking with my daughters singing teacher, Nicki, and was telling her about a book I was writing where one of the main characters is a guitarist. As we were talking, a light bulb moment sparked and I asked her, on the off chance, if she could write a song for me. I had no intentions of having Becky sing a song at Alice’s funeral, however, as I was talking to Nicki, Becky was talking to me telling me there’s no words she could use to write a eulogy for Alice. Because to Becky, Alice was so much more than she could ever express using simple words.
It was then, on that Friday afternoon, Dance While You Sleep was born. From there, Dance While You Sleep became so much more than a mere song. It became as large as the relationships between Alice, Becky and Elijah.
A very good friend of mine, Bek and her husband Garry, along with Nicki all made something truly awe-inspiring happen. Garry organized one of the best music producers Australia has to offer to produce Dance While You Sleep. Bek organized (as a surprise) to get me to the recording of the song, so I could be part of the magic while it was happening. That day was surreal, and truly will stay with me until the very last breath I take. Not because I was in the room with Australian royalty, but because it was the day Dying Wish went from a book to something bigger than I ever thought could be possible.
I’m so blessed to have amazing people in my life. They do things for me, and expect nothing in return. How do you say thank you to people who are truly selfless? How do you repay their generosity? You hug them, and you make sure you never do wrong by them.
Dying Wish has been possible because of many people and many reasons. But I’m going to keep it simple and say thank you to:
Debi Orton, my talented editor who’s been with me for a long time.
Book Cover By Design, for her amazing cover for Dying Wish and Dance While You Sleep.
My proofreaders, Bek, Terry, Mandy and Ann for picking up my errors.
Integrity Formatting, who always works so hard to make my books look as beautiful and perfect as she can.
Give Me Books and Book Enthusiast, for helping me with my promotions.
Jodi, for brainstorming with me when I get stuck, and for being a great sounding board.
Lyndal, because you listen and you’re the first person to help. That’s what family does.
Mum, you always tell me how much you love my books and how powerful they are.
Husband and kids, for being cool and knowing when the voices in my head are talking . . . I’m writing.
Nicki Gillis, your song is pure perfection. I’m honored, and truly humbled to have been part of this with you.
Gaz, thank you for making that phone call.
Bek, you’re my people.
And to you. For reading a book which hopefully has ripped your heart out and made you ugly cry so much that your eyes are puffy. Thank you.
Mistrust
I’m the popular girl at school.
The one everyone wants to be friends with.
I have the best boyfriend in the world, who’s on the basketball team.
My parents adore me, and I absolutely love them. My sister and I have a great relationship too.
I’m a cheerleader, I have a high GPA and I’m liked even by the teachers.
It was a night which promised to be filled with love and fun until…something happened which changed everything.
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Aus
Ugly
*This is a dark YA/NA standalone, full-length novel. Contains violence and some explicit language*
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to see.
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to feel.
If I were dead, he'd never raise his hand to me again.
If I were dead, his words wouldn't cut as deep as they do.
If I were dead, I'd be beautiful and I wouldn't be so...ugly.
I'm not dead...but I wish I was.
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Aus
Chef Pierre
Holly Walker had everything she’d ever dreamed about – a happy marriage and being mum to beautiful brown-eyed Emma - until an accident nineteen months ago tore her world apart. Now she's a widow and single mother to a boisterous little 7-year-old girl, looking for a new start. Ready to take the next step, Holly has found herself a job as a maître d' at Table One, a once-acclaimed restaurant in the heart of Sydney. But one extremely arrogant Frenchman isn't going to be easy to work with...
Twenty years ago, Pierre LeRoux came to Australia, following the stunning Aussie girl he'd fallen in love with and married. He and his wife put their personal lives on hold, determined for Pierre to take Sydney's culinary society by storm. Just as his bright star was on the upswing, tragedy claimed the woman he was hopelessly in love with. He had been known as a Master Chef, but since his wife’s death he has become known as a monster chef.
Can two broken people rebuild their lives and find happiness once more?
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Aus
Smoke and Mirrors
Words can trick us.
Smoke obscures objects on the edge of our vision.
A mirror may reflect, but the eye sees what it wants.
A delicate scent can evoke another time and place, a memory from the past.
And a sentence can deceive you, even as you read it.
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Aus
Grit
***Recommended for 18 years and over***
Alpha MC Prez Jaeger Dalton wants the land that was promised to him.
Sassy Phoenix Ward isn’t about to let anyone take Freedom Run away from her.
He’ll protect what’s his.
She’ll protect what’s hers.
Jaeger is an arrogant ass, but he wants nothing more than Phoenix.
Phoenix is stubborn and headstrong, and she wants Jaeger out of her life.
Her father lost the family farm to gambling debts, but Jaeger isn’t the only one who has a claim to the property.
Sometimes it’s best to let things go.
But sometimes it’s better to fight until the very end.
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Aus
Yes, Master
**** THIS PROLOGUE CONTAINS DISTRESSING CONTENT. IT IS ONLY SUITED FOR READERS OVER 18. ****
ALSO CONTAINS M/M, M/M/F, M/F AND F/F SCENES.
My uncle abused me.
I was 10 years old when it started.
At 13 he told me I was no longer wanted because I had started to develop.
At 16 I was ready to kill him.
Today, I’m broken.
Today, I only breathe to survive.
My name’s Sergeant Major Ryan Jenkins and today, I’m ready to tell you my story.
A Life Less Broken
***CONTAINS DISTRESSING CONTENT. 18+***
On a day like any other, Allyn Sommers went off to work, not knowing that her life was about to be irrevocably and horrifically altered.
Three years later, Allyn is still a prisoner in her own home, held captive by harrowing fear. Broken and damaged, Allyn seeks help from someone that fate put in her path.
Dr. Dominic Shriver is a psychiatrist who’s drawn to difficult cases. He must push past his own personal battles to help Allyn fight her monsters and nightmares.
Is Dr. Shriver t
he answer to her healing?
Can Allyn overcome being broken?
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Aus
My Life for Yours
He’s lived a life of high society and privilege; he chose to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a Senator.
She’s lived a life surrounded with underworld activity; she had no choice but to follow in her father’s footsteps and take on the role of Mob Boss.
He wants to stamp out organized crime and can’t be bought off.
She's the ruthless and tough Mob Boss where in her world all lines are blurred.
Their lives are completely different, two walks of life on the opposite ends of the law.
Being together doesn’t make sense.
But being apart isn’t an option
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon Aus
HiT Series Box Set
HiT 149
Anna Brookes is not your typical teenager. Her walls are not adorned with posters of boy bands or movie stars. Instead posters from Glock, Ruger, and Smith & Wesson grace her bedroom. Anna’s mother abandoned her at birth, and her father, St. Cloud Police Chief Henry Brookes, taught her how to shoot and coached her to excellence. On Anna’s fifteenth birthday, unwelcome guests join the celebration, and Anna’s world is never the same. You’ll meet the world’s top assassin, 15, and follow her as she discovers the one hit she’s not sure she can complete – Ben Pearson, the current St. Cloud Police Chief and a man with whom Anna has explosive sexual chemistry. Enter a world of intrigue, power, and treachery as Anna takes on old and new enemies, while falling in love with the one man with whom she can’t have a relationship.
Anna Brookes in Training
Find out what happened to transform the fifteen-year-old Anna Brookes, the Girl with the Golden Aim, into the deadly assassin 15. After her father is killed and her home destroyed, orphan Anna Brookes finds herself homeless in Gulf Breeze, Florida. After she saves Lukas from a deadly attack, he takes her in and begins to train her in the assassin’s craft. Learn how Lukas’s unconventional training hones Anna’s innate skills until she is as deadly as her mentor.
Dying Wish Page 40