I opened my eyes for a moment when I thought I heard Dad’s footsteps in my room.
“Sammy, it’s way past noon.”
I paid no attention to him. Sleep beckoned me. I wanted to dream. I wanted to piece together the flashes of memories the shadows didn’t take. I had to know what they did to me.
I began to dream when suddenly, I felt Dad’s hand on my arm pulling me from the comfort of my bed. I felt something hit my head. I rolled over and lifted the package Dad threw at me. It was open. Damn. It was my escape.
“You want to explain?”
“Dad, stop, let go of me!” I shrieked and kicked all the way down the stairs. He dragged me into the living room and sat me in his La-Z-Boy chair.
“Now are you going to tell me what’s going on with you? Are you sick? In pain? Why do you need those pills? How long have you been using them? What else are you doing? Should I check for needle marks?” Dad shook me. “What happened to you? You’ve got to tell me. Did Lucien hurt you?”
If I hadn’t lost it the night that Lucien left, I lost it then. I had a full-fledged meltdown right in front of my father. He just stood there, watching.
“Sammy, please, this is crazy. I realize the doctor said you weren’t—raped. If that’s the case, you’ve got to tell me what happened,” Dad pleaded.
How could I tell him?
“I miss Mom, Finn, and Lucien. I’m sorry I bought the pills. I swear I haven’t taken any.”
My dad left the room and seconds later he was back holding his empty bottle of Ativan.
“You haven’t been going to your appointments with Dr. Friday.”
I hated going to my therapist. “He just wants to pump me full of Zoloft.”
“You’d rather take these? Or buy shit on the internet that’s not even regulated? What’s eating you up, Sammy? You won’t tell me where you really were when you disappeared.”
There was no way to say, A ship came to take Lucien to his planet and I went with him. But his alien relatives didn’t want me, so they did what they wanted to me. Then they took my memory and brought me back. And oh, by the way, the reason my eyes are both gray and sometimes glow is because I am changing into an alien.
Dad stood in front of me with red-rimmed eyes. His gaze was relentless; obviously, he wasn’t backing down. I turned away, focusing my eyes on the living room walls, wishing for a crack I could slip away in. I could just imagine what he was thinking.
“Samantha, I can stay here all day.”
Why couldn’t he delve into cleaning or grading papers? Dad paced the floor in front of me until finally he gave up and walked into the kitchen. I caught a glimpse of him as he picked up the phone on the wall. I heard his voice, but my mind was miles away. I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
Dad hung up the phone. A few seconds later I heard ceramic plates clanging. He must be emptying the dishwasher.
Bang.
“Damn it, anyhow!” Dad barked.
I sat there, staring out into space. I could hear him huff and puff. Twice he came in to ask me if I wanted anything to eat, and twice I refused.
8 Oakridge Estate
I didn’t hear a peep from Dad until I heard him struggling to carry my tweed suitcase and duffel bag downstairs. He set them down in the foyer. My eyes followed him into the kitchen. He picked up a chair and carried it into the living room and set it in front of me, then sat with his back straight and arms folded over his chest.
He glared at me with an all too familiar expression. It was his I-mean-business look. “You seem different.”
After several long, drawn out moments of staring at each other, Dad broke the stillness of the room. “Sammy, honey, this can’t go on any longer.” Unshed tears clouded his blue eyes while he spoke. “You’re killing yourself. I don’t know what to do with you. You won’t talk to me. You ignore your friends.”
I noticed the specks of gray at his temples. When did he get so old?
“Samantha! Are you listening to me?”
Startled, I gasped.
“You have to tell me. Did Lucien hurt you?”
My eyes wandered to the white walls. I can’t tell my dad what happened on the mountainside. If I did, Dad would lock me up forever. Even I have a hard time believing what I saw in the sky. How would he believe me? My hand reached for Lucien’s crystal around my neck. As I glided my fingers over the smooth stone, I felt its warmth. Lucien’s crystal generates heat; I wasn’t sure why yet.
“Samantha, look at me, damn it. Since you won’t talk to me, you leave me no choice. You’re going someplace where you will have to.”
He stood, taking the chair with him into the kitchen. His words stung like alcohol in an open wound. Not fully able to comprehend what he had just said, I sat, dumbfounded. Dad returned to stand in front of me.
“Get up.”
I remained still. Losing patience, he pulled me to my feet and opened the closet, fishing out my black winter parka.
“Here, put it on.” He lifted my arm. “Come on, Samantha, put your arm in the sleeve.” He lifted my coat up over my shoulders, helping me put my arms in the sleeves. That’s when it dawned on me; he wasn’t bluffing.
“If we go now, we will get there before dark.” His voice was raspy like he was exhausted or hung over.
I was jolted back to reality. What did he say? I can’t go anywhere. What if Lucien comes back? He won’t be able to find me. Where’s he taking me?
“Huh? Go where?” I said.
“I’m taking you to Oakridge.”
“Oakridge? Why?”
“Have you heard a word I’ve been saying?”
“Dad, what are you talking about? Nooo. Just leave me be.”
“You’ve left me no choice, Sam.”
“What’s Oakridge?”
“A place where you will get help.”
Is he sending me to Oakridge Estates? That’s where they send the kids at school who get busted for drugs.
“Oakridge is a rehabilitation center for troubled teens, Dad.”
“Exactly.”
He can’t be serious.
“Samantha, you won’t eat, sleep, or go to school. This can’t go on any longer. I’ve had it. I’ve asked you a dozen times if Lucien hurt you or touched you inappropriately. You won’t talk to me. How do you think I should react? I should’ve insisted you keep seeing a therapist after we moved. I swear, I won’t lose you, too.”
“No, Dad, don’t send me there. Lucien didn’t do anything. That’s not what this is about. I promise I won’t take any more pills. Give me a rubber band. I’ll put it on. I’ll be better, I swear. Don’t send me away. Please.”
“Sammy, there are other ways to hurt someone without actually physically hurting them. And you’re not telling me. Just because the lab test didn’t find any DNA doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt you.”
“Dad––Dad––I’ll tell you. Wait…. Stop and listen. I loved Lucien. He would never have forced himself on me. He’s not like that.”
Before I knew what was happening, Dad dragged me against my will into the Navigator. I fought every step of the way, hoping he would change his mind, but he didn’t.
9 No Turning Back
The ride to Oakridge Estates was nauseating. I should’ve pretended everything was all right. Now it was too late. I sat as if I were a muzzled dog, not saying a word the whole way to the loony bin. Dad pulled into the driveway leading to the rustic structure. Black smoke billowed from the chimney. There was something ominous about it, as if it were warning me to stay away. Dad parked the Navigator close to the steps leading into the home. I took a heavy breath as I stared out my window, gripping the door handle, my eyes still on the swirling black smoke. I heard Dad open his door. I kept looking out the window until his presence settled in front of my door. He reached for the handle, l
ooking at me with the full intent of leaving me there.
“Please. Dad, I promise.”
“Let’s go,” he said, holding the door wide open. By the look on his face, there was no reasoning with him. I had better listen to him this time. My eyes stung with tears.
My whole world collapsed in front of me as I stepped out onto the snow-covered ground. I hung my head low, not making eye contact with him. Without wanting him to, Dad took my hand as if I were a child once again.
I trudged up the steps leading to Oakridge Estates. Entering the doorway, I halted. I expected to see images of the television series American Horror Story: Asylum. My eyes ping-ponged around the area, trying to accept Dad’s decision to bring me here. I was beginning to realize the full scope of my predicament. A year ago I would’ve expected it, but not now. I’m not the same person I was before Lucien.
The inside reminded me of the cabin at Hidden Valley, but this was no vacation place. This was my punishment for falling in love with a monster, not a human being. Seated behind the front desk in the entrance was a heavy-set woman. I assumed she was the receptionist. Under different circumstances, I might have smiled. I was amused by how her belly overlapped the desk and plopped, spilling over into the reception area. I’m in a loony bin; I don’t belong here. To my right was an oversized red rug covering dark hardwood floors. The living room had two large beige couches with two matching loveseats and pillows. Against the wall was a flat screen television and a DVD player. Seated on the couch were two teenage boys watching sports.
There was an open-spaced room stocked with a pool table, a small ping-pong table, and two individual round tables that each seated two. At the larger table were four kids playing cards. They never once took their eyes off their game to ogle. Either they were heavily medicated, or they didn’t give a rat’s ass, which suited me just fine.
While looking around at my new surroundings, my eyes caught the attention of a sandy-haired, green-eyed boy. His hair, messy and unkempt, fell around his boyish face. He wore a much too large blue hoodie and a pair of bleached, stained jeans. His sad eyes locked with mine for an uncomfortable moment. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. I could understand why, being trapped here––who would be able to sleep? He gripped the pool cue tightly, making his fist red. His eyes didn’t break our stare until he put the cue down.
Little by little, he walked a few inches at a time to the wall dividing the rooms. Curious, I watched him. I thought it was weird how he stared at me as if he either knew me or feared me; whichever one it was, he was strange.
Dad touched my arm, gesturing for me to follow him to the reception area. I waited while he told the large woman who he was. She smiled, picked up a clipboard, and handed it to Dad to fill out. She picked up a red phone and dialed three numbers.
“Dr. O’Neil will be here shortly,” she said, giving me a quick smile.
“Oh, joy,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Samantha?”
In a matter of seconds, a tall, thin woman wearing khakis and a white t-shirt with the word “Oakridge” embroidered on it appeared in the hall, walking toward us. Her black ponytail bounced with every stride she made. She smiled as she walked in our direction, showing white teeth with a small space between the top two. By her cheerful disposition, you’d think she was an attendant at a resort instead of a doctor.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Debra O’Neil.” She held out her hand. “You must be Samantha.”
I ignored her request to shake. She dropped her hand and turned to my father.
“Hello, Dr. O’Neil. I’m Joseph Hunter,” Dad said, shaking the doctor’s hand. “I spoke with you on the phone earlier.”
“Yes. Did you have a pleasant ride? You may run into some nasty roads driving back. I’m surprised we got this much snow. Not our typical New Mexico winter, is it?”
“This is our first winter here. It’s nothing compared to Pittsburgh.”
“Of course, you’re welcome to take a room with us until morning if you prefer.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine. Thanks, anyway. I have all-wheel drive and I’m use to the snow,” Dad said, as sure of himself as always.
“Come along, Samantha. I’ll show you to your room. You can get acquainted with every-thing and make yourself at home.” Dr. O’Neil gestured to my father to say his goodbyes.
He settled next to me, taking my shoulders in his hands. “This is for your own good. When Dr. O’Neil says you’re not a threat to yourself and ready to come home, I’ll come get you.”
“I’m not going to do anything stupid. I’m not like Mom,” I said in a low voice, regretting it after seeing the stunned expression on his face.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now. Make the best of it.”
I held my tongue even though I wanted to scream as he bent down to kiss my forehead. My father turned and walked out through the front door. I can’t believe he’s really going to leave me here. Shocked, I rushed after him. I stood looking through the front lobby window, watched him get into the Navigator and drive away, leaving me behind.
My stomach sank.
10 Dr. O’Neil
“It’s not that bad here, Samantha,” the doctor strolled up to me, putting her hand on my shoulder.
I pulled back from her touch.
“I’ll show you to your room.”
My room for the next ninety days was down two hallways. We walked across the hard-wood floors without saying a word. I glanced briefly at a sunroom at the far end of the hall. On the left was my room, number thirteen. Great.
Dr. O’Neil tapped on the door before opening it. A petite girl with hair the color of lava, styled in a neat shoulder-length bob, sat cross-legged on the bed.
“What the eff?” she yelled, pulling out her earbuds.
“Your new roommate, Victoria,” Dr. O’Neil said.
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
She held her earphones and iPod. Her eyes were pale blue, and her ivory skin was freckled. She wore a tight pink sweater, showing off her full bosom and tiny waist. Wow, I wonder if they’re real. I almost looked down at my own chest briefly but caught myself. Her clothes looked like they were bought at an expensive, preppy store in the wealthy section of town somewhere. Satisfied with what she saw, she put her earbuds back in.
“Victoria, this is Samantha. We use first names only, for privacy’s sake. Now, if you want to exchange last names, that’s your prerogative.”
“Victoria,” Dr. O’Neil said.
Victoria kept listening to whatever was on her iPod.
“Victoria,” Dr. O’Neil repeated.
Reluctantly, she took her earbuds out. “What?”
“This is Samantha; she’ll be sharing a room with you. Why don’t you help her put her things where they belong, and please try and be pleasant by making her feel at home.” Victoria nodded and put her earbuds back in.
“At home? This is not my home.”
“Well, it is now, at least for the time being,” Dr. O’Neil smiled.
“Bitch,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Excuse me, what did you say? I don’t think so, Samantha. I have the power to make your stay here pleasant or not so pleasant. Okay?” She held out her hand. “Let me have your cellphone.”
Puzzled, I backed up a step.
“Hand it over,” she said, staring.
“No. I’m not giving you my phone.”
The way she looked at me, I got the impression Dr. O’Neil wasn’t accustomed to any one defying her.
“It’s best you get rid of the attitude, Miss Hunter. The quicker you know the rules, the better it will be for both of us. Don’t get your panties all in a knot; it’s only for the first week.”
“Ew. I wonder if my father will think that’s any way for a doctor to talk.”
“Samantha, let’s get one
thing straight from the get-go. Your father isn’t here. I am, and the quicker you understand that, the better it will be for you. The nurses, the aides, and counselors are here to help you. I run the show here. Oakridge Estate is small and isolated, so there’s no way for you to try to run home. And, if you do try, you’ll freeze to death before you even make it to the highway. So, if you have any thoughts like that, put them out of your head now. I want to help you. Do you understand? This is not a punishment. It is a treatment center.”
“I’m still not giving you my phone,” I snapped.
Dr. O’Neil folded her arms across her chest. “And I’m not leaving here until you do.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me. I shouldn’t even be here. My dad’s the one who’s crazy, not me.”
“That’s not how he sees it.”
“Of course that’s not how he sees it.”
“Samantha, please let me have your phone.” Dr. O’Neil held her hand out. Judging by the look on her face, she wasn’t going to drop it.
Defeated, I pulled my cell out of my back pocket. I hadn’t used it all that much since Lucien left. My best friend, Emmy, was the only one I talked to. I kept it close, just in case Cassiel tried to call me. I handed my phone over to Dr. O’Neil. For what seemed like hours, she explained what my routine would be for the next three months. I couldn’t believe I had to live here for three months and with no phone for the first week. I’ll never forgive my father or Lucien for this.
***
My days were penciled in like a prison schedule: At six a.m., wake up and shower; breakfast in the dining hall and group therapy was at seven-thirty, followed by art therapy at ten. Each day at eleven sharp, I had to have one hour of exercise––how lovely. I had a choice of yoga or kickboxing. I decided to beat up a punching bag instead of O’Neil’s face. Lunch was at noon and individual counseling at one p.m. And, oh joy, I still have schoolwork. It was required so when I got back to my normal life, I wouldn’t be behind. My days would end with dinner at six and free time until bed––oh, goody.
Equinox (Beyond Moondust Trilogy Book 2) Page 3