Going down the list, I pressed hard letting the ink ooze into fat check marks.
NOT LIKELY -
NOT LIKELY -
NOT LIKELY -
I was sick of it. Sick of needing all these products. With every check mark I made down the page, I could feel the attention on me. The red ink was bleeding onto my fingertips. But I didn’t stop.
I made it to the last question, and underneath it I wrote my own “WHAT IF.”
WHAT IF YOU COULD CURE ACNE
VERY LIKELY -
That was an understatement.
I handed Julie back my paper.
“I really don’t want a product that does all these things. I want a product that will make it so we never have to need these kinds of products. I know they must do research here.” I looked up at the camera. “We need a cure!”
The other girls just stared at me. Even though they didn’t say anything, they must’ve understood.
“Well, that would be great,” Julie said. But she sounded fake, like she was just trying to get us out of there.
She fumbled over to some long tables and flipped over three poster boards labeled SPOT TREATMENTS, FACE MASKS and SKIN CARE DEVICES that had each been hiding a bunch of products behind them.
The three piles reminded me of the drawer in my bathroom, filled to the brim with all the different products I’d tried. The products on the tables weren’t all from Tomlin & Tomlin. A few I had never seen before. But I recognized Clearagel with the other spot treatments.
“You girls have been great,” Julie said. “Thanks so much for coming. Please feel free to check out what we have here and take something on your way out.”
We were finished? I felt like I was just getting started. I took my research project portfolio out of my bag.
“You’re not going to ask us what we think about any of this stuff?” I asked. “We’re not going to talk about Clearagel?”
“I’m afraid we’re out of time,” Julie said. Or was she afraid of what I had to say? “We’ve really covered a lot today. Thanks so much for participating. And as a little thank you, you’re welcome to take home one of the items here.”
She backed away from the tables while we looked through everything, making comments to one another about which ones didn’t work, and also didn’t work. And, in fact, while we had to admit some smelled good, or were kind of fun for sleepovers, the only things that seemed of any possible use—mostly because none of us had ever tried them—were the skin care devices.
Delaney took a steamer wand and Eva picked an electric exfoliator. I knew enough from past experiments that neither would help, and if anything, were likely to make things worse. The rest of us chose this heating thing, like it’s supposed to zap the zit or something.
Ridiculous.
But a good scientist is always open to possibilities. Objective. Not biased.
I looked through all the products, reading the labels to see if there was anything other than the usual not-so-active ingredients. Everyone else had cleared out of the room by then, so I put my project portfolio back in my bag and grabbed a zit zapper on my way out.
I nearly ran into Charlie when I opened the door.
I quickly put the zapper in my bag. Embarrassing.
“I’ll walk you back,” Charlie said. “Julie just took the other girls to the lobby.”
I was suddenly feeling flustered. Not just from nearly shoving the zit zapper into Charlie’s stomach, but for the way I shoved my paper back across the table covered in obnoxious red check marks. I had planned to be poised and this was yet another example of things not going according to plan.
“How’d it go?” Charlie asked.
“Okay, I guess. I said some things I don’t know if I should’ve, but it needed to be said.”
“You’re cool like that,” he said. “You just put it out there, you know?”
Yeah, it was out there—on video, too, for who knows how many people to see. But that’s what I wanted, right? I didn’t even know who had read my letter. Besides Charlie.
“It doesn’t bother you what I think about your dad’s company?”
“That you think their stuff is crap?” He laughed.
Not exactly what I would’ve expected him to say. I stopped and looked around to see if anyone could’ve heard, but we were alone in the hallway.
“Well, I didn’t say that.” But I had been thinking it.
“I like how you just say what you feel,” he said.
“Really?” He might’ve just been acting nice to make me feel better about the letter and my outburst on video, but something in his eyes told me he meant it.
“That’s why I invited you here.” He hadn’t looked away. And for once, I didn’t want to rant about Tomlin & Tomlin and its useless products. I felt like I was there for a reason. To help make them better.
six
“So, do you normally ask girls to come here who write crazy letters to your dad?” I asked Charlie on the way to the lobby.
“I’m just helping out for the summer until the big conference,” he said. “That’s when they launch their new products.”
Their new products that never really do anything. How’d they come up with those anyway? “I read on the website that there is a lab here where the scientists test different formulas. That’d be pretty cool to see. I’ve never seen a lab in real life—I mean outside of school.”
“You want to see the lab, huh?” he said. “You’re not a spy are you?”
“Yeah, a spy for myself.” I smiled as he held the lobby door open. We walked toward the fountain near the parking lot. But I didn’t feel ready to leave. Charlie said he invited me there to help, and I felt like there was more I could do. “If there was anything I could do in the lab this summer. Or any type of job I could have here. Maybe I could help make the products better. Since I’ve used them and everything.”
I was suddenly acutely aware of my acne as Charlie and I were facing each other in the sunshine. It was one thing to send him a letter for his dad, but talking about it face-to-face was so awkward. Was he staring at it now? I could always tell when someone was trying to look in my eyes but then shifted their gaze to a pimple healing on my forehead.
But not Charlie. His eyes were still locked on mine like he didn’t quite know what to make of me.
“Well, there is someone I can introduce you to. James in Human Resources. He’d know if there’s something you could do this summer.”
I clutched my bag. I was glad I brought my science fair project portfolio with me so I could show my research experience. Poise, Kaylin. Poise. Don’t offend the guy that could maybe get you a job.
We walked back in the lobby and down the hall until we reached a door that said HUMAN RESOURCES. Charlie held up his ID near a sensor and opened the door. Maybe they really did worry about spies. We walked over to an office in the far corner of the room and an older man, seated behind a desk, waved us in.
“Kaylin, this is James. He’s in charge of Human Resources—and afternoon snacks, which he said is good for morale. James, the fro-yo with the toppings bar yesterday was killer. It was just like FroYo4ever. My favorite.”
“Mine, too,” I said.
“I was just showing Kaylin around,” Charlie told James. “She was in our Project Lettuce focus group today.”
“Ah yes, I heard you were finding some kids to participate. That’s really great,” James said, getting up out of his chair. “Nice to meet you, Kaylin.” His arm swung out for a handshake.
“Kaylin’s like a science genius. She even did a science fair project about Clearagel.” How did he know that? I didn’t recall mentioning it in my letter to his dad, but maybe he saw my website.
“That’s great,” James said. “So you’re familiar with our products?”
“Oh, yes,” I said. “Very familiar.”
What was I waiting for? Come on, ask him if there are any jobs in the lab. What’s the worst he could say?
“I was actua
lly just telling Charlie how great it would be to work here for the summer. If there was anything I could do in the lab to help out. I could even clean test tubes or something.” I just wanted to be able to see the scientists in action and talk to them about their research. If that meant I had to sterilize beakers for the summer, it would be worth it just to be in the lab.
“Well, there’ve been some changes in the lab recently,” James said. “There’s really nothing available right now.”
But maybe there was something else there I could do this summer. Like whatever Charlie was doing.
“Maybe I could do the same thing as Charlie?” It was worth a try.
“Yeah, James.” Phew, he backed me up. “Just this morning at the Project Lettuce meeting Jayla said we needed more help to get everything done in time for the conference. If we had another intern it would really help a lot.”
“Well, we typically only allow college interns,” James said.
“But you made an exception for me,” Charlie pointed out.
“Obviously, but it’s a little different. You’ve been coming here since you were in diapers.”
“I’d really like to help,” I said. “Even on this lettuce project. I don’t know what it is, but it sounds really interesting.”
Charlie made one last attempt, too.
“Remember what we talked about the other day, James, and I told you I’d think about it?”
James nodded.
“If you let Kaylin be a summer intern for Project Lettuce, I’ll try to do what you asked me to.”
James looked at Charlie, then back at me.
“Alright, Kaylin,” James said. “It looks like we have a spot for you until the conference in July. Let’s go fill out some forms and get you an ID badge.”
“Are you serious?”
“Quick, before I change my mind,” James said, but I think he was just joking.
“Thank you,” I told him. Although it was Charlie who I really needed to thank.
seven
“Courtney’s picture post from last night said ‘I HEART DC.’ I wonder if it’s not just DC she hearts. Do you think it could mean something else?” I asked, smushed between Rachel and Maron in the back of Jenna’s mom’s car. I could already tell our carpooling was going to be great for filling each other in on the evolution of summer crushes. I’d only miss about ten minutes of gossip between the Tomlin & Tomlin gate and the Junior Lifeguards beach spot.
“It means you shouldn’t have been reading Courtney’s posts.” Jenna peered around from the front seat. “Can we go back to talking about Charlie? I still can’t picture him in khaki pants. Maybe you should take a picture when you see him today. He’s so . . .” She looked over at her mom driving. “. . . nice.”
I might’ve—okay, not might—I definitely was obsessed with Sean, but at least I actually knew him. Jenna had only met Charlie once at band camp, and seemed to have a sudden interest in all things Charlie.
“That’s what you need,” Jenna said. “A crush on Charlie. Then you won’t be checking Courtney’s posts, and you can forget all about Sean.”
But I had checked.
Courtney posted a new photo every day, like a journal with random abbreviations only her friends would understand. I only started checking after she posted a picture of her science fair trophy.
So random! RDBPC
And I never gave it much thought until . . .
I HEART DC
“But, why do you think she picked a heart?”
“Kaylin, you’re being ridiculous,” Rachel said. “She said she loves DC—not Sean.”
“Has he said anything about her in those lame video blogs he makes?” Maron asked.
“He hasn’t made one in awhile,” I said. Hopefully I hadn’t just given away that I’d been checking for them each night.
“Let’s get back to Charlie,” Jenna said as we pulled up to the Tomlin & Tomlin gate. What did she expect me to say?
“He was nice.” That’s all. And I definitely wasn’t going to take a picture of him in his khakis.
But I did text him after I used my security badge to get into the lobby. He said he’d meet me there so I’d know where to go and everything.
I knew where I wanted to go—to the lab. James said there had been changes in the lab. But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe now they’d make better products. If I could just talk to one of the research scientists, then I’d know what kind of research they were doing to make something that could really cure acne.
I wondered if this Project Lettuce I was now part of could have something to do with their research. I even did my own experiment to prepare for my first day.
Project Lettuce by Kaylin Bidwell
CONFIDENTIAL
Hypothesis: Lettuce may be able to reduce the presence of acne or prevent new acne from forming.
Methods: This particular study will use one half head of iceberg lettuce which will be boiled for five minutes until fully soggy, then placed in the blender on the purée setting. The final mixture of lettuce goo will be applied with my finger onto my face. After fifteen minutes I will remove the lettuce goo with a warm, wet washcloth. I will take a picture of my face before the lettuce goo application and when I wake up in the morning, ten hours after the goo removal.
Results: A comparison of the before-and-after photographs revealed no reduction in the number of pimples present. And one new whitehead had formed on my chin!
Conclusion: A boiled iceberg lettuce goo fifteen-minute mask did not reduce the presence of acne or prevent new acne from forming within a ten-hour period. I won’t go so far as to say that it caused my new whitehead—as Mrs. Diaz says “correlation does not imply causation.” And I’m open to the possibility that lettuce could have potential benefits for acne—perhaps romaine lettuce, or maybe drinking lettuce goo (yuck!) would be better than a topical application. In conclusion, lettuce is not likely to be a cure for acne.
I almost told my friends about making the lettuce mask, but I remembered I signed papers for James that said I had to keep everything confidential—which I suppose included Project Lettuce, even though I still had no clue what it was. I hoped whatever it was worked better than my lettuce goo.
Did I cover up my new whitehead well enough?
I supposed it was no secret I had acne. If I had one thing to offer Project Lettuce, it was personal experience.
I heard the door open behind me.
“Hey, Kaylin,” Charlie said like he was out of breath. “My sister dropped me off since I was running late.” His hair was looking much more like photos of him I’d seen, kind of scraggly. “We shouldn’t be too late for our meeting.”
Too late? I didn’t want to be any kind of late. But at least he was showing me around.
“So, what’s Project Lettuce?” I asked. “James told me I’d hear all about it today.”
“He did?” Charlie sounded surprised. “Kaylin, it’s top secret. Not even I know what it is.”
“Really?” I wondered if I should tell Charlie what I thought it was—maybe a lettuce mask or gel. Was it too soon to tell him I had serious doubts about lettuce after my experiment last night?
He laughed. “You crack me up. Of course I know what it is. How could I work on something without even knowing what I’m working on? You’ll hear all about it in there.”
He held up his ID badge to the security sensor and reached for the handle on the door. Next to it, there was a piece of paper taped over the conference room number plaque with a picture of a head of lettuce and words printed over it.
WAR ROOM
Reserved for Project Lettuce June/July
Charlie walked over to two open seats at the large table. A woman at the end of the table started passing a stack of papers to her left and right.
I just did everything that Charlie was doing. Well, he lowered his seat and I wasn’t quite sure how to do that. But I did take a paper when he handed it to me and continued to pass the stack of papers around the
table. We did that all the time in school—just not in a super comfy leather chair like the ones we were sitting in.
“So, before we review the project timeline, I’d like to introduce Kaylin Bidwell who will be interning with Charlie. Thanks for joining us, Kaylin. I’m Jayla.”
I smiled and nodded, looking around the table.
Charlie whispered to me, “I’ll tell you who everyone is after the meeting.” He put on glasses and immediately seemed more serious as Jayla started going over the schedule.
“We’ve only got three weeks until the conference—and everything has to be ready by then—packaging, pricing, the advertising campaign. Have the devices come in yet?”
A guy at the other end of the table answered her. “The ones for testing will be in tomorrow, but we’re planning to make design improvements. Just exterior—like ergonomics.”
“And we still need a name,” a red-headed woman added. “Once we have it, we’ll work that in to the design with the branding and colors. But we’re going to test for efficacy and claims without all that.”
“That’s great,” Jayla said. “We should have preliminary test results in two weeks which will be enough to wow everyone at the conference. We know T2 is coming out with something new there—and whatever it is, our new product launch has to be better.”
What new product launch? I felt a little a lost. I looked down at the timeline and scanned the room for any clues as to what this new product could be.
“At least the focus groups confirmed what we expected,” Jayla said. “Everyone wants a device. Thanks, Charlie, for helping us get those together so quickly. Here’s a summary of what we found.”
She opened up her laptop, which was already plugged into a control box built into the table. The large flat screen TV in the front of the room started playing a video of the focus groups. But it wasn’t the part where we were talking around the table. The clips she was playing were from the end, after we thought it was all over and were deciding what we wanted to take home.
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