by Natalie Dean
In this area, there was only a hint of a ceiling and the late morning sun beat down on them from the rafters.
“There you are!” a voice from above them called out. “I was wondering what was keeping you! That must be your bride!”
Lizzie looked up to find another blonde boy, several years younger than Billy, with a round face and ready grin looking down at her. He stood on a platform just next to the ceiling’s railing, a hammer and nails in his hand.
Billy let out a good-natured chuckle as the boy above set his tools down.
“Observant as ever, Sam,” he said. “Now, where are your manners? Come down here and meet the new lady of the house.”
Quickly, the boy stepped from one platform to another lower one. He did this several times until he finally landed on the makeshift wood floor.
“Lizzie,” Billy said when the boy arrived. “This is Sam Merson. Sam, this is Lizzie Dixon.”
“Soon to be Lizzie Peters I hear,” Sam said grinning.
“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Merson,” she said, careful not to acknowledge the possible change in her name.
Sam laughed.
“No last names on the ranch,” he said. “That’s Billy’s rule. It’s just Sam.”
“Sam then,” Lizzie said evenly. “Like I said, a pleasure.”
“Pleasure for me as well,” Sam said. “Just glad to see Billy hasn’t scared you off yet.”
“There’s still time,” Billy said with a chuckle. “I wouldn’t want you to jinx me.”
Lizzie tried to smile good-naturedly at that and hoped she didn’t give herself and her plans to leave away.
Before long, they left Sam to finish the ceiling and Billy insisted on showing Lizzie the cattle pasture.
He led her by the hand through tall grass that, she soon discovered, was much nicer to look at than it was to walk through.
Finally, they reached an area with another thin, barbed wire fence behind which several cattle were grazing.
“My first herd,” Billy said proudly. “There aren’t many now. But, they’ll grow soon enough.”
“How do you know that?” Lizzie asked, interested in spite of herself.
Billy leaned over to her and put a warm hand on her shoulder. Lizzie nearly jumped at the contact but, tried her best to hide just how much the sudden, warm touch had unsettled her.
A man had not leaned this close to her since her husband had passed. In fact, she had nearly forgotten what it felt like to have a man lean in to speak to her as intimately as Billy was now.
“Do you see that cow over there?” he asked. “The one flicking her tail?”
“Yes,” Lizzie replied, looking where Billy was pointing and trying her best to ignore how close the boy now was to her.
“That means she’s ready to mate,” he said. Then, he shifted his gaze and pointed to two other, larger cows at the far end of the pasture. “And, you see that bull over there?”
Lizzie didn’t trust herself to speak this time. She nodded instead.
“He’s taken notice,” Billy said with a wry smile. “With any luck, we’ll have calves by next spring.”
Lizzie tilted her head inspecting the bull. Now that she could see him fully, she noticed that his attention did seem to be turned towards the tail flicking female.
“You can tell all of that by the flick of a tail?” she asked looking to Billy, impressed, in spite of herself.
Billy gave a shrug. He was attempting to appear modest, but that smug grin gave away just how highly he thought of his abilities.
“I’ve grown up with animals,” he said. “Sometimes I think I know them better than I know people.”
She gave him a small smile and realized too late that they were still very close together.
If she had not been planning to leave this man and his ranch behind in one week. If she were not a barren, thirty-three-year-old widow and if Billy were not a young man barely in his twenties with his entire life ahead of him, she may have been tempted to kiss him at that moment.
Billy’s brown eyes had relaxed now. They seemed to flick from Lizzie’s own eyes down towards her lips.
It was clear that Billy was thinking along the same lines. And, what’s more, if this young man did try to kiss her, Lizzie feared she might not have the strength to resist him.
“Billy!”
Lizzie felt a silent sigh of relief well up inside her when she heard Sam’s voice cut across the field.
Both Lizzie and Billy turned to him, and Lizzie’s relief faded when she saw the panic stricken look on Sam’s face.
“Sam, what is it?” Billy asked. His hand dropped from Lizzie’s shoulder as he moved towards the other man.
“It’s Rosa! Miles’ men came and…they…they said you’d stolen her from him. The just unhitched her and took her!”
Chapter 5
The road to Mr. Miles ranch was not nearly as long as the ride from the hotel had been.
There were fewer changes in the level of pavement along the paths, and the terrain was a good bit less rocky.
Still, the silence and dread made the journey feel much longer.
Billy sat on the driver’s side of the wagon, his hands clutching tightly to a younger mare now hitched in the place Rosa should have been. His face was white as his knuckles clutched on the reins.
Early on in the ride, he had uttered small things along the lines of: “I can’t believe it,” “Why would he do this?” “He was going to kill the horse. Why would he take her back?”
Lizzie’s head was filled with half smug and half cynical answers for all of these questions.
Part of her wanted to tell Billy he should have known something like this would happen sooner or later.
Even though she did not know Mr. Miles personally, she had heard enough to know that he would do anything he could to foil Billy’s plans for a farm. Even something as petty as stealing back a horse he had all but thrown away not two weeks before.
But, she knew that would not be helpful under the current circumstances. So, she kept quiet until they reached a house in the middle of several large cattle fields.
The house was much larger than the one Billy was currently building. And, Lizzie could tell its occupant had grander ideas of himself than Billy did.
That was why she was more than surprised when a middle-aged, well-dressed man with a tan, wrinkled face and dark mustache came out to greet them.
“Billy!” he said. “I haven’t seen you in months! To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Billy jumped down from the wagon and strode straight up to the man this time, without bothering to help Lizzie down.
“I think you know why I’m here, Miles,” he spat. “I want my horse back.”
“You mean my horse,” Mr. Miles said evenly. “I’m sorry about that misunderstanding. One of my boys sold it to you without my permission. I wouldn’t have minded normally, but, I already had a buyer lined up for it.”
“You mean the glue factory,” Billy said. His usually jovial voice turning to a slight growl as Lizzie pulled herself down from the wagon.
“Well, can you blame me?” Mr. Miles asked with a dismissive chuckle. “That mare can barely pull her weight anymore. I can’t expect any more fouls out of her. That’s what happens to horses when they outlive their usefulness.”
“She’s still plenty useful to me,” Billy said.
Mr. Miles gave a smirk and a pretentious little smile again.
“Billy,” he said. “It’s sweet how you’ve taken a shine to old Rosa. But, the fact is, the animal already has a new owner. People from the glue factory will pick her up in the wagon tomorrow morning.”
“And how much would it cost to keep that from happening?” Lizzie asked suddenly, half unaware that she had voiced the question.
The older man looked slightly startled at the intrusion, but his surprise turned into another condescending smile as he turned to look at her.
“Ah, this must be your new bride,” he said. �
��I heard you’d followed Matt’s lead and gotten yourself a mail order.”
“She’s not a mail order,” Billy said defensively. “We wrote one another for months before she agreed to marry me.”
“Well, that’s an astounding feat,” Mile’s said. “When I last saw you, Billy, you could barely write your own name. In less than a year you’re writing love letters! Unless, of course, you had someone write them for you.”
Billy’s face went pink at this accurate accusation, and he looked down at the ground. Mr. Miles gave the boy another disgustingly satisfied smirk that spurred Lizzie, once again, to action.
“Once again, Mr. Miles,” Lizzie said. “How much would you take for the horse? How much to keep her from the glue factory?”
“I’m sorry, Miss…”
“Dixon,” Lizzie said quickly. Mr. Miles eyes lit up in recognition of the name, and Lizzie found herself praying to God that he would not ask about her connection to Bernadette.
“Miss Dixon,” he said. “For me to turn down the factory’s offer, I’d need a good amount more than what they’ve paid me already.”
“And how much is that?”
“One hundred dollars,” he said. “If someone wished to purchase her in the factories stead, I would need two hundred.”
Lizzie balked at him. So outraged that she could not find the words to speak.
This figure had to be a lie.
There was no possible way a glue factory would pay over fifty dollars for a horse they intended to slaughter.
Miles was deliberately fudging the numbers.
Lizzie could tell by his triumphant smirk that this was more than a business deal. For him, this was personal.
Apparently, Billy could sense it too.
“We’re not paying two hundred for a horse, Miles,” he said. “No one in their right mind would pay that much for a horse!”
Mr. Miles gave an indifferent little shrug.
“All right then,” he said. “That’s settled. She goes to the factory in the morning.”
“How long will you give us to think it over?”
Lizzie asked before Billy could say another word. She came up beside him and found herself placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her as though he thought her slightly insane. And, judging by what she was doing, she supposed he had every right to think that.
Mr. Miles, however, looked her up and down as though he were impressed by her in spite of himself.
“As I said, Miss Dixon,” Mr. Miles said. “The wagon will be here tomorrow morning a little after dawn. If you want the horse, I suggest you arrive at dawn with two hundred dollars.”
“All right then,” Lizzie said. “We will discuss it this evening. If we decide to buy the horse, we will see you here tomorrow morning at dawn.”
Billy looked at her, eyes wide and opened his mouth as though to protest. She gave a little shake of her head telling him not to. His face colored slightly before she turned back to Mr. Miles.
He was still giving her a superior sort of smirk.
“Well then, Miss Dixon,” he said. “I sincerely hope to see you tomorrow morning.”
With that, he gave a nod to both of them. Lizzie nodded curtly to him as well before she took Billy’s arm and led him back towards the wagon.
“Lizzie, what are you- “
“Don’t look back,” she hissed. “And it’s best not to talk until we’re on our way out of here.”
Billy’s eyes narrowed, and he gave her a slightly reproachful look. However, he did as she suggested and climbed into the wagon.
As they made their way off Mr. Miles’ ranch, Lizzie had a sinking feeling that she may have just promised to purchase more than a horse.
With that two hundred dollar figure, she may have purchased a marriage. A marriage that her young husband may very well come to regret.
Chapter 6
“Two hundred dollars!” Billy said again as he paced back and forth.
“You have the money, don’t you?” Lizzie asked. “You said you’d been saving.”
“It’s not a question of having the money,” Billy said. “It’s the principal! This man has the…the nerve to make me pay twice for a horse I already own. A horse he sold me!”
“Did you expect anything more from him?” Lizzie asked evenly. “After all, you know this man’s reputation. Even I know it, and I am an outsider. He has done these sorts of deals before.”
“But not…I mean…I didn’t expect…” Billy said. His words jumped over one another as though a thousand thoughts were flying through his mind which couldn’t quite be finished.
“If we don’t pay,” Lizzie said gently. “That horse will be slaughtered.”
“I know that,” Billy said tersely. “But, I just…I can’t understand…”
He sank down onto the couch and ran one hand over his face.
“When I was sixteen,” he whispered. “After my Pa kicked me out, I had nowhere to go. Mr. Miles was the only one who would take me in. And now that I want to go out on my own…he…he treats me like I’m nothing to him.”
His voice was so uncharacteristically soft, so vulnerable that Lizzie couldn’t help sitting down beside him.
“Some men are just afraid of losing things they’ve built,” Lizzie said as gently as she could. “I’ve seen it before in men back East. Factory owners who will sell out their workers, their own families, anything to get ahead of their competition. It blinds them, and they can’t see anything else.”
Billy sat silent for several moments, his lips pursed together. His hands pressing against one another.
“Why didn’t I see it?” Billy asked finally. “I suppose Mr. Miles has always been like this. I know he’s done things like this before. Why am I so surprised that he’s done it to me?”
“Sometimes, when you’re too close to someone you can’t see them for who they really are,” Lizzie said. “It’s a blessing that you are finally able to see him for what he really is.”
“Doesn’t feel like a blessing right now,” Billy said.
He bit his lip again, and Lizzie could almost see tears forming in his eyes. Tears she knew, as a self-respecting man, he would not allow to fall.
“Well,” she said, putting on a businesslike manner that she hoped would help to change Billy’s focus, at least for a moment or two. “We had better decide what we want to do about Rosa.”
“We can’t let the factory take her,” Billy said immediately.
“Then, we’ll pay the two hundred dollars.”
“I don’t want to do that either,” Billy said.
“What other choice is there?” Lizzie asked.
“I…I don’t know,” Billy answered.
He ran one hand over his face again, and his expression became sad and sullen.
That was when she realized that she had an opportunity here. At that moment, it seemed as if the mare, Rosa, her promise to Bernadette, the fears she had for herself, her age, Billy’s age, her barren state, were all mixed into one.
Like a math equation where all the numbers lined up to equal one, indisputable answer.
“Maybe,” Lizzie ventured, slowly. “Maybe it’s best to simply let it be.”
“What?” Billy asked. He looked up at her, eyes that once appeared far away were now sharp and focused on her.
Now, it was Lizzie’s turn to stand and begin to pace.
“I mean, Rosa is an old horse. She’s lived and worked all she could. Now…she can’t have children. Her best working days are behind her. Perhaps this is the best thing for everyone.”
“It’s not the best thing for me!” Billy said standing and moving to stand in front of Lizzie. Her pacing stopped almost immediately.
“I don’t expect you to understand but, I love that horse,” he said. “Rosa was the horse I rode when I went out to tend to the cattle. She was the only one who never bucked or pitched. She would do anything you asked without complaint. She…it’s strange to say it, but…she loves to work.
She loves being out in the fields, tending to the cattle as much as I do. I can feel it in her. As long as she can walk I know she’ll want to work. She’s still got plenty of usefulness left in her.”
Lizzie looked at the genuine warmth and sweetness lining this boy’s face, and it was difficult to say what she knew she had to.
“You’re right,” she said. “I don’t understand the connection you have to that horse. I suppose I can’t. However, as a woman, I know what people think of females who cannot produce children. We’re not useful any longer.”
“That’s not true either,” Billy said. “And I don’t see what that has to do with Rosa.”
“It has more to do with it than you think,” Lizzie said gently turning away from him.
“Billy…perhaps…perhaps it’s best if you simply let me be as well,” she said. When the words came out, they were more painful than she had expected them to be. Indeed, they stuck in her chest and filled her with a kind of emptiness.
“What are you saying?” Billy asked.
“I’m saying, you should have a wife who is useful,” she said. “A wife who can give you children…a family. I can’t do that. Maybe it’s best to keep your two hundred dollars, find a new horse and…and let me go back to Philadelphia.”
Lizzie could sense Billy come up beside her. Then she felt that warm, gentle hand on her shoulder once more.
“Is that what you want, Lizzie?” he asked gently.
Finally, Lizzie turned to him. His large brown eyes were wide and something like hurt and betrayal shown behind them. It was an expression that almost stopped the words from coming out of her mouth.
When they finally did, they were shaky and barely audible.
“It’s not about what I want,” she said. “It’s about what’s best. I’m…I’m cursed. I don’t know why, but I am. You don’t deserve to be cursed too.”
To her surprise, his eyes softened. And he gave her a gentle smile as he lifted his hand to her cheek.
“God has not cursed you, Lizzie,” he said. “He’s only blessed you differently than he’s blessed some others. And, what’s more, he’s blessed me by bringing you into my life.”