by Angela Drake
At home later as she reflected on the afternoon, a tornado began to churn within her. Common sense told her to put a halt to these outings. End things before Max began to see Brendan as a father figure. Kimberly would be hurt but she’d rebound. Yet Stephanie’s heart ruled every time she looked into those chocolate brown eyes or felt his touch. The man cast a spell she didn’t want to break.
* * *
“It was incredible Jen. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
Brendan paced his daughter’s office as she finished up for the day. The day with Stephanie and the kids had gone as he’d planned. All except for a feeling he’d experienced while waiting in line to order their lunch.
“This… this glow seemed to settle around the three of them. The hairs on my neck bristled.”
“Well you know I couldn’t work in the Crescent without some belief in ghosts.” His daughter eyed him quizzically. “What do you think it was?”
“Not what honey, who?”
“You mean Matthew?”
He stopped pacing, bracing his large hands on the desk. “Yes.”
“There might be validity to what you saw. How do you feel about him keeping an eye on things?” Jennifer slid the ledger into a drawer then closed the coordinating program on the computer
“I don’t know. I’m not even sure I believe it was… Matthew.” He resumed pacing. “But if it was, I’ll prove to him that his family is in good hands.”
“You really love her don’t you?”
Brendan all but dropped into the chair across from his daughter. Knowing it inside was one thing. But to voice it was an entirely different feeling. The admission came out soft and reverent.
“I do. God help me Jennifer, but I do. And it isn’t just Stephanie.” His voice lifted excitedly. “It’s the whole family thing. This is my chance to truly be a husband and…” his voice trailed. How could he say what he felt without hurting his own daughter?
“And father?” Jennifer got up from her chair and came around the desk to kneel beside him.
He turned, enveloping his daughter in a hug. He’d missed out on so much of her life. By rights, she should near despise him for not being there; for wanting to be a father to someone else’s children but she wasn’t. She was charitable, forgiving, and honest. In that respect Jennifer was a lot like Stephanie. The same characteristics he counted on to make it possible for them to be a family.
In his room later he cruised the TV channels. Regardless of where he stopped, the same picture came to his mind. Stephanie had looked ravishing standing at the spring earlier. The soft autumn breeze played with the hem of her lawn dress. What he’d felt then overtook him now as he replayed the vision. He’d had the strongest desire to pull her into his arms, to capture the scent of her as it wafted with the breeze. He’d wanted to hold her close, assure her everything would be fine between them if she’d only let him in.
With a groan, Brendan turned off the television and tossed the remote carelessly onto the coffee table. “It’s a good thing cold water isn’t in short supply,” he thought as he headed for the shower.
* * *
“Want Bedan,” Max stuttered through a hiccup. The tears began at the mention of bedtime over an hour earlier. Stephanie cuddled her son close to the soft terry robe that had replaced her soaked dress. A warm bath usually lulled him to a doze.
Tonight, however, the terrible two’s struck with a vengeance and she’d worn most of what she’d irritably termed Hurricane Max.
“Mommy?”
“What sweetheart?” She stroked his soft chestnut curls. Smiling, she thought how closely the color of her son’s hair resembled Brendan’s eyes… and Kimberly’s.
“Bedan come here?”
“Not tonight baby. Maybe tomorrow.” An idea flashed through her mind. “Hey, how about if you snuggle under your special quilt and I get you a surprise?”
“Spize?” The boy looked up at her wearily.
“I’ll get Kimmie’s MP3 player and you can lie here and listen to Brendan sing. How about that?” She crossed her fingers behind his back.
It seemed an eternity passed before the boy pushed to get down. He padded across the braided rug in footed pj’s and climbed across the footboard of his toddler bed. Sliding beneath the bottom of the quilt, he tunneled like a mole until he’d reached his pillow at the other end. He was asleep by the time she had returned with the player. Her bear cub turned angel had fallen asleep.
She stood in the doorway of his room for a moment, watching him sleep. Fear tugged at her heart. Tonight had been a small display of what she might expect when Brendan left. She’d not be able to soothe him with the possibility of future visits. In just a few short weeks Brendan would be gone and she’d be the one picking up the pieces… again.
Chapter 7
“Mom, how long does this need to be?” Kimberly and Becky sat at the dining room table wiring brightly colored autumn leaves into lengths of garland.
The third week of October was already upon them. With Halloween just around the corner, it was time to welcome fall in full force. Once the crisp morning air warned of cooler evenings, Stephanie began creating a warm, inviting refuge from the outer elements. The rose and mahogany tones were now accompanied by deep earth colors of gold, burnt orange, and brown.
“They need to go around the doorways into the office and the dining room.” She clipped the artificial leaves from their stems into a pile for the girls to work from. “As soon as I've got this done, I'm going to work on the arrangement for the hall table and my desk. When you need a break, there's juice in the fridge.”
“Okay, Mom. Are we going out for supper?”
“No, there's a roast in the oven.”
Normally, she would make use of the ever-efficient crock pot but there was something about the smell of a roast slow-cooking in the oven that provided a sense of warmth and comfort to her home. She became her true self in the autumn, secure in who she was and what she wanted from her life. Some people felt a renewal of the soul in spring. For Stephanie, she found her balance at this time of year. With Brendan around, she needed all of the balance she could attract.
“Jennifer said she'd do a loaf of bread and bring it when she brings Max.”
As if on cue, she heard a car door being shut, then another open and close.
“That must be them now. Keep wiring, I’ll be right back.”
“Someone order pumpkins and corn stalks?” Brendan grinned from behind a large orange pumpkin.
Stephanie felt the energy around her shift off-kilter as she stepped aside and held the screen door open for him to enter.
“How did you know?” How did he seem to know when she needed anything? That was the security she remembered. Although he'd not always been around, he'd shown up when she really needed him. Mostly when Dad was in one of his moods. It was comforting to know she didn't need him quite the same way now. Still, a feeling of warmth and safety felt like a cloak whenever he was around.
“I saw Jennifer with Max at the hotel and she filled me in. I thought you could use some help.”
“Well, actually, yes. The girls are making garlands for around the doors. I don't want either of them on the ladder.”
“Are you still afraid of heights?” He placed the pumpkin on the hall table.
“Still.” She playfully pushed him towards the dining room. Apparently the booze hadn’t robbed him of all their time together?
She’d been changing a bulb over the bar one night when she’d taken a nasty tumble. From that moment on, the thought of climbing on something higher than a four-legged foot stool made her nervous. There were times when she had to use the small painter’s ladder. She didn’t like to, but being an independent business owner called for drastic measures sometimes. She did what she had to do to keep things running.
“The girls are in the dining room. Want a glass of tea?”
“Sure. I'll see if I can give them a hand.”
She started down t
he hall, passing the doorway he’d just gone through. A smile crept into place as she heard her daughter squeal with delight. A sound she knew without even looking included a hug.
Kimberly accepted him as part of their family. Even Max, in a toddler way, welcomed him. She hoped it didn't all come crashing down around them. It was only a matter of time before the entertainer in him took over and he’d be back on the road. The husband and father she’d always hoped for didn’t exist in Brendan.
The afternoon progressed amidst the rustling of leaves and laughter. Brendan helped the girls, while she created table arrangements and a couple of herb wreaths. They were just balling up the last of the newspapers covering the table when Jennifer and Max came in. Stephanie squatted down for a hug. The child’s eyes shone bright as stars, wrenching at her heart as he passed her by, running straight for Brendan.
“Bedan, me up.”
Brendan laughed, picking him up for their head to doorframe game. A deep laughter and child giggles wafted after her as she and Jennifer went to put the final touches to supper.
Over dinner, the conversation turned to the wedding. With only six weeks left, a lot still needed to be done. She assured an anxious Jennifer that everything was right on schedule.
“How’s the remodeling on the house coming?” Stephanie passed the butter dish to Jennifer.
“Slow.” Jennifer buttered a slice of the still-warm homemade bread. “Dave has been so busy on the Silver Dollar City renovation project. They’re putting in six-day weeks.”
“Anything I can do at the house? I do know how to use a hammer. I may play a mean drum or guitar but I still have construction skills, you know, in case this music thing doesn’t pan out.”
His eyes sparkled with humor as he popped a piece of roast beef into his mouth. Aside from being a foreman on a construction crew, Brendan had remodeled the three room house on the hill overlooking the river into an efficient tiny house before anyone even knew what they were. Back then, Stephanie had sat and kept him company, held the ladder when necessary, provided lunch she had brought from the bar and replenished the beer from his cooler. Stephanie had been in awe of his skills and fell in love with what she’d thought would be their home as she watched the progress. She wondered what had become of their love-shack.
“No Dad, but thanks. Once the project is completed, he’ll have more time.”
“Miss Elaine called today.” Stephanie attempted to distract her thoughts as she cut a piece of meat for Max. “Your dress is ready for a fitting.”
“Great! You’ll go with me, won’t you?”
“I’d love to. Shall I call and set a time?”
“Sure. Whatever fits your schedule will work for me.”
“Stephanie, I'm going to have to starve myself for a month before the spring tour.” Brendan pushed his plate aside and leaning back in the ladder-back chair.
“Mom's the best cook! Wait until you taste her peach crisp. It's heaven.” Kimberly closed her eyes dramatically and licked her lips.
“I have.” He winked at Stephanie with a devilish grin. She felt herself blush, and watched his grin widen, knowing his comment had hit the mark.
“So Dad, did you get the pumpkins?” Jennifer pushed her own plate aside.
“Yep. We can't do fall decorating without carving jack-o'-lantern.” He tousled Max's hair where he sat in the booster chair next to him. “Steph, I found a long one I thought laid on its side would make a good base for an arrangement for the table. I meant to bring it in earlier. Kimberly, why don't you and Becky get the pumpkins out of the back of the jeep? He stood as he spoke, retrieving his keys from his pocket.
Stephanie’s gaze became riveted to the sight before her. The room appeared smaller as she watched him slide his fingers deep into the front pocket of his wranglers. She moistened her suddenly too-dry lips with the tip of her tongue.
“Come on Steph, we'll get the table cleaned off.” Jennifer stood and began gathering the dishes.
Stephanie blindly stacked the plates in the immediate vicinity as she continued to watch Brendan’s movements. The black T-shirt appeared too small for his build as he lifted Max from the booster seat. A rush of desire swirled like a whirlpool as she imagined her fingers sliding across his shoulders, feeling each ripple of muscle beneath the fabric.
“Did you bring newspapers from the hotel for me?”
“Yeah, Dad. There's a bundle on the back seat of my car.”
“Come on buddy. If I have to work, so do you.”
“Me.” Max was way ahead of him on the run to the front door.
“Looks like you and Dad are getting along pretty well.”
Jennifer rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher as Stephanie wrapped the leftovers and put them away.
“We're doing okay.”
“Think you two will get back together?”
Stephanie closed the refrigerator and leaned against it, cross folding her arms. How did she answer that? There had been times over the last few days when she'd asked herself the same question. She’d already come to the conclusion she still loved him. But that didn't mean they were compatible. After all, she'd learned the hard way that love wasn't enough.
“There are too many facets to this relationship. It’s hard to know. There always seems to be something blocking our path. Last time it was your dad's drinking; now it's his job. He's away from home for months at a time. That's not exactly stability. Not for kids, anyway.”
“You haven't told him about Kimberly, have you?”
The question struck her like lightning. As if in a trance, she watched Jennifer take a wallet from her purse. Flipping to the pictures, she handed it to Stephanie.
With trembling fingers, she reached for the wallet. Two pairs of chestnut eyes stared back. With only the telltale differences depicting one picture to be older than the other, they might have been of the same smiling two-year-old. With the whisper of a touch, she ran one finger across the face of each picture, Jennifer’s on the left and Kimberley’s on the right.
Slowly, she closed the wallet and handed it back. The unspoken questions floated on the stillness of the room.
“Wh … Where did you get that picture?”
“Kimberly took a baby picture to school for a project a couple of weeks ago. She came by the hotel on her way home. I found it on the floor of my office after she'd gone. It must have fallen out of a book.” Jennifer snapped the wallet closed and returned it to her purse. “When I first saw the picture, I thought it was of me but couldn’t imagine how it got there. Then I saw her name on the back.”
“How.... I mean, why didn't you say something?”
“I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. Does she know?”
Stephanie shook her head. Her daughter grew up knowing one father. Matthew. How would she react to this? Stephanie gave a lot of thought to how Brendan would take the news. She'd never thought of what it would do to Kimberly.
“Your dad doesn't know, does he?” She felt more than heard the panic rising in her voice.
“No, I don't think so. At least, he's not said anything.”
“He has to hear it from me Jen, I just don't know...”
“Come on gals, the pumpkins await,” Brendan strolled into the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks. “What's wrong?”
“ Noth…nothing.” Stephanie took a napkin from the holder and turned away. She wiped at her eyes, trying to compose herself.
“Just a difficult time of year for me.”
She stood and began gathering spoons and the special pumpkin carving knives from the utility drawer. She couldn't look at him. Not until she was sure he would not read the volume of information swimming in her eyes. She inhaled, then exhaled slowly as she turned back to Jennifer and Brendan.
“We need to get moving on the pumpkins. Max won't last much longer.”
In no time, six grinning jack - o- lanterns lined the window seat. Halloween was still a couple weeks off, yet the conversation turned to cost
umes as cleanup began.
“Costumes. Oh shoot! I knew I'd forgotten something.”
“What! What!” Kimberly and Becky cried in excited unison.
“Following the Halloween party at the hotel for the teenagers, there's to be a costume ball.” Jennifer pressed her hands together, eyes twinkling. Stephanie already didn't like where this was headed.
“Way cool! What are you going as Mom?”
“Me? Oh heavens, I won't even go. This will be your first party.” She smiled at her daughter, reaching out to cup her chin. “I'd rather be home to hear about your night.”
“Ah, Mom, you gotta go. You don't have any fun. Brendan could be your date.”
“Kimberly!”
“Just what I was thinking, Kim.”
He bowed low before Stephanie. “It would be an honor dear lady. Would you accompany me to the ball?”
A tangible silence hung over the room as all eyes zeroed on her. Biting at her bottom lip, she looked from one expectant grin to another. A full evening with Brendan? As a date? Just the thought gave her goose bumps. This would be their first ever official date. Besides, they might even have fun. And costumes, carefully chosen, would afford him further privacy from fan attention. What could be the harm?
In response to his theatrics, she offered her hand with a curtsy.
“I would be delighted, sire.”
They stood transfixed by one another as cheers roared around them. Stephanie knew she’d crossed a bridge. She was moving forward.
Later, when the house had quieted down, Brendan bagged the remains of the pumpkin carving while Stephanie put water on for tea. The girls took Max up to get him ready for bed. With a hug to Stephanie and her father, Jennifer went back to her cottage near the hotel. By the time the tea was ready, he had a fire in the fireplace.
“I hope you don't mind?”
“No, not at all.” She handed him one of the mugs of tea. The room was very relaxing, despite his presence. Or maybe because of it.