by Angela Drake
“Okay. So, what are your plans for after my wedding? Are you laying out another tour?”
“I’m not sure.” Six weeks ago he’d have answered yes. The bus would be warming up as he walked his daughter down the aisle. Now, he just didn’t know. Entertaining was how he made a living, but he’d found Stephanie. He didn’t want to lose her again. And she’d made it abundantly clear he couldn’t be a rambler, a husband, and a father.
“That ball is in Stephanie’s court. Halloween showed her how I feel. But I think there’s something she’s not telling me.”
Brendan watched a smile play across his daughter’s face before she spoke.
“Was Steph good with surprises?”
“Was she ever! She kept a secret as if her life depended on it. Why do you ask?”
Jennifer checked her watch. Brendan knew evasion when he saw it.
“We have to get to the school if we want her speaking to either one of us.”
Slipping her shoes back on, she stood to gather her jacket and purse from the coat tree. He rose and helped her into the jacket.
“Why do you ask?” He repeated his question as he held open the door. “About Stephanie keeping secrets, I mean?”
“She still can.” She smiled as she reached up and kissed him on the cheek before going to the elevator, leaving him to stare after her as he closed the office door.
They arrived at the high school amidst a flurry of activity. He maneuvered the jeep into what appeared to be the only available parking space left.
Inside the school, Jennifer went to the gym to assist the Pep Squad in their babysitting endeavors. Brendan followed the throng of parents and older students to the shop. Passing through the doorway mimicked the effect of stepping into another dimension.
Christmas music rang from the intercom system. Oil paint and turpentine mixed with spice and citrus permeated the room. Every head in the room sported either a Santa hat or an elf stocking. Whiskers Dan’s creations covered every table, awaiting paint. Stephanie stood in the center of the activity. Her back was to him as she talked to the woodcarver.
“Hi Brendan,” Kimberly and Becky greeted in unison from their table nearest the door. A chorus of greetings followed like a wave through the room.
He acknowledged the workers with a wave and a smile, never taking his eyes from Stephanie. In the wake of greetings, she turned towards the door. He watched as she made her way through the maze of tables, enjoying the rhythmic sway of her hips. Dressed in jeans and a red sweatshirt proclaiming I Believe in Santa, she looked every bit the part of the head elf in Santa’s Workshop.
“This is a surprise.”
“Why is that? If Eureka Springs is to be my home then I have a stake in the Santa Club, too.”
Brendan watched the emotions flash across her face at the word ‘home’. Had he really said that? Home was a place you came back to. But he knew that’s not what he meant. Without realizing it, he cemented what he had told her at the cabin. This is where he wanted to be for the rest of his life.
“Well, we can always use the help. Are you still handy in the kitchen?” She stepped back, allowing a couple more students to enter the already packed classroom. “We’re pretty full here, as you can see. Want to check in with the Booster Club on the lunch progress?”
“Lead the way.” He grinned as he motioned for her to precede him into the hall.
* * *
By the end of the day every toy sported two thin coats of paint in an array of bright colors. Over the next week, shop class students would put a coat of sealer on them. Home Ec. students had the job of carefully wrapping and tagging each one in preparation for delivery on Christmas Eve.
“How do you distribute all of these toys?” He shouldered a dozing Max as he followed her to the car.
“On Christmas Eve, Santa and an elf ride through the countryside in a horse drawn sleigh or wagon, depending on the weather.”
“Amazing. Do I dare ask who plays the part of Santa?”
“Plays?” Her eyes twinkled with merriment. “Why Santa himself, of course.”
Pointing to her shirt he asked, “Do you believe in Santa?”
“I believe in what he stands for.” She opened the car door, then stood aside as he buckled Max into the car seat. She looked up at the overcast sky. Chances were good they’d have snow before the week began.
“What’s that?” He backed out of the car and she shut the door as quietly as possible so as not to wake Max. If she were lucky, she could tuck him into bed without being up half the night with a recharged little boy.
“Caring more for someone else than yourself. Giving from your heart, not because it’s expected. Believing that anything is possible.”
“What do you want for Christmas, Angel?”
The question cut her to the bone. She knew what she wanted more than anything. What she prayed for would take…
“A miracle. What about you? Expecting coal in your stocking?”
“I’ve been a good boy. I get whatever I want.”
“Oh really.”
That had been her problem. She had always let Brendan have his way. As soon as he’d kissed her and his hands began to roam, she had caved. Just like at the cabin.
“And what is it that you’ve asked Santa for?”
“We’ll have to see Christmas morning.” He bent to kiss her soft and undemanding. Before she was able to reciprocate, he walked away, whistling Jingle Bells.
Shaking her head in amusement, she got in the car for the short drive home.
Chapter 10
“Bedan.” Max squealed, running in the front door of Borderline Studios towards him.
“Hey, buddy.” He caught the toddler up in his arms and settled him against a shoulder. Holding the boy with one arm, he pulled Kimberly into an embrace with the other.
“Hi, kiddo.”
“Hi, Brendan.”
When she hugged him back, a feeling of acceptance tugged at his heart.
After much persuasion, Jennifer agreed to bring the kids to Branson. Being a father meant that Stephanie wouldn’t always be there every minute. He needed to reassure himself that he could attend to their needs without her looking on. What better way than being totally responsible for them an entire day? It didn’t compare to real life, but it would have to do.
“Is this where you cut your records?” Kimberly stepped away from him.
He watched as she walked around the lobby. She read the plate engravings labeling each gold and platinum album lining the walls. Her familiar brown eyes danced in awe. She was going to be a heartbreaker.
“First time I’ve used this studio. Nashville has been my recording home until now. Would you like to see the place?”
“Would I? You bet!”
“I put a change of clothes in the jeep for Max, just in case.” Jennifer kissed Brendan on the cheek “I still don’t like this. Stephanie is going to have my head if, no make that when she finds out. You have my cell number if you need anything.”
“Thanks. We’ll be fine.” Brendan looked to the kids for support. “Won’t we kids?”
“Yep.” Max gave a sharp nod of his head.
“Where are we meeting later?” Jennifer paused at the door.
“Barney’s Burger Palace around six. Okay with you?”
“Works for me, Dad. I’ll see you then.”
After she left, Brendan put Max down to walk. Their slow pace allowed his little legs to keep up as they toured the suite of offices. The secretaries fell in love with the cherub faced child. One offered to occupy his ‘son’ while Kim finished the tour. He didn’t correct the secretary’s mistake. If everything went as planned, there’d be nothing to correct.
A close friend of his currently used one of the booths. Kimberly nearly burst with excitement at being able to listen in on a recording. When the session broke up, she asked in-depth questions about everything, making constructive comments. He marveled at how she picked up on the technical things. He would h
ave to talk to Stephanie about letting Kim spend time at the studio while he worked on this album. She would get a kick out of it and they would have more time to get to know one another.
“Brendan, I need your help.” They’d left the studio and were buckling up in the jeep in search of the next adventure.
“Sure. If I can.”
“I want to buy Mom something special for Christmas.”
“What do you have in mind?” He glanced in her direction before pulling out into the infamous Branson traffic.
“I’m not sure.” Her brow furrowed in concentration. “It has to be really cool. I thought you might have some ideas.”
“I have a birthday present to buy for you know who.” He motioned to the back seat where Max was intent on one of the picture books from his tote bag. “I have no clue what to get. Let’s put our heads together over a banana split. We’ll help each other out.”
“Thanks. I knew I could count on you.” The smile she gave cast a glow within him. He only hoped he didn’t let her down.
For the remainder of the afternoon, the threesome wandered through a variety of outlet shops and played miniature golf. With her help, he knew what to get Max for his birthday. With that out of the way, they continued their search for the perfect gift for Stephanie.
“How about this Kimberly?” He shifted a dozing boy on his shoulder. Getting Kim’s attention, he pointed to a white pillar candle.
Carefully, she took the large candle off the shelf. Standing about eight inches tall, the candle was at least four inches in diameter. Different from others in the shop, this one wasn’t for burning. A small clear votive cup set down inside the hollow center.
“Have you seen these before?” A voice came from behind them. Kimberly turned to the lady, shaking her head.
“Watch this.” She smiled as she took an LED tea-light candle from her smock pocket. She moved the switch on the bottom into position then set it inside the votive cup. A silhouette of an angel glowed through the side of the pillar. Opalescent wings glittered in the firelight.
“It’s beautiful. Mom would love it.” Her smile out shown the candle’s glow. “How much is it?”
“$23.95 plus tax. Gift wrapping is free.”
He watched the crestfallen look come over Kimberly. Slowly, she put the candle back on the shelf.
“If you’re short, I can help?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll keep looking.”
Her tone was solemn and his heart constricted with a pain he couldn’t describe. He had never wanted to be a champion for anyone as much as he did for this young woman.
“Kim, you’re a Girl Scout, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember the Brownie elf story?”
“Sure. Mom taught me a long time ago. Brownie elves help others with tasks. Kind of in secret.”
“Well I’d like to be an elf, but I need some help. If you help me, I’ll pay you – in advance.”
“But elves don’t take money. They do it because they want to.”
“Exactly. Can we trade favors?”
He watched as she weighed the decision, seeing Stephanie’s independence.
“Okay. But you have to promise that I truly get to help you in return.”
“Scouts Honor.” He held up a three-finger salute.
“Wonderful.” The sales lady smiled at the decision. “I have one back here that hasn’t been tested. “I’ll make sure it’s okay while you select the wrapping.”
Minutes later, the clerk gave the bow a final tug and rang up the sale.
“Sign here, please.” She handed him the charge slip. “Your daughter’s very pretty. And this guy is a cutie.”
“He’s not my Dad. But I wish he was.” Brendan almost missed her final words uttered in a barely audible whisper.
“Really?” The sales lady handed him the card and receipt. “You look just like him. I apologize for my error, Mr. Keane.”
“It’s okay.” He put the credit card and slip in his wallet while trying not to disturb Max. He wasn’t successful.
“Eat?”
“Sure buddy. Let’s head to Barney’s.” He turned to Kim. “Ready to go?”
Her eyes had lost their sparkle as she took the package and headed for the door without answering.
Walking back to the jeep, Brendan pondered the lady’s comments. He’d never given a lot of thought to how little Kimberly resembled her Mom. He just assumed she took more after Matthew. Something else tapped at his brain like Morse code. What was he missing?
They made the drive to Barney’s in a deafening silence. Jennifer waited inside the doors. He saw the questioning look and shook his head, hoping she understood. Once they were settled in a booth, the only time Kim spoke was to place her order. When her food arrived, she picked at more than she ate.
Brendan felt Jennifer nudge him in the arm.
“What’s up with her?” Her tone was barely audible.
Brendan gave her the ‘not now’ look again as he squirted more catsup for Max.
He hadn’t heard a word from the sullen teenager since leaving the store. While the hope of the kids accepting him as a father had been a part of today’s plan, Kim’s soft-spoken wish had hit him like a wrecking ball. If things didn’t work out between him and Stephanie, those six words would haunt him forever.
“Jennifer, would you take Max into the play land?” He motioned to the toddler, running a finger through the catsup on his plate.
“Sure. Let’s go play, Max.” She stood and held out her hand.
“Bedan too.”
“You go play buddy. I want to talk to sissy.”
Sensing protest, Jennifer caught his attention with a challenge. “Come on Max, I’ll race you.”
That’s all it took to distract him as he shot ahead to the door.
“Want to talk about it?”
She shook her head as he watched her bottom lip quiver.
“It’s okay. Every kid should have a dad.”
“I had a dad. He was great.” Her outburst sent the tears falling onto cold French fries. “But he isn’t here and I miss him.”
Brendan took the partially eaten burger she still clutched and put it down. Taking both of her hands in one large one, he tilted her chin with the other.
“I know you do sweetheart. You’ll always miss him.”
“Mom does too.”
“She loved your dad. He will always be a part of all of you.”
“Do you love my mom?”
Letting go of her hands, he sat back in the booth. How could he answer that without misleading her or raising hopes? Trusting eyes never left his face as he strove to find the right words.
“Has your mom ever mentioned knowing me before she married your dad?”
She shook her head.
“It’s true. Your mom and I dated before she met him.”
“Really?” Her eyes widened in disbelief. “What happened?”
“I wasn’t ready for marriage and a family. Your mom wanted a family and a home so I became a part of her past.”
Kimberly picked up the cold burger and took a bite. He watched as she appeared to mull over the information.
“Can we go home now?” She tossed the burger back onto the plate.
“Sure. Why don’t you go get the rest of the crew? I’ll clean up here.”
As Jennifer’s Neon disappeared down the strip, Brendan got in his jeep and drove back to the studio. In his office, he quickly dialed Planned to Perfection. He hadn’t meant for Stephanie to find out about today this way but she needed to warn her. He sensed a storm headed her direction.
Unladylike words rang in his ears minutes later as he hung up the phone. Leaning back in the office chair and propping his feet on the corner of the desk, he stared at a picture of Jennifer. The comments of the sales lady pealed through his mind. ‘Just like you…just like you’, raced faster and faster until his head hurt.
Was Kimberly his daughter? Surely Stephanie wo
uld have told him. Or would she? He’d have still been a drunk then. He tried to calculate the possibility but his brain refused to cooperate. Slowly, the things he’d witnessed over the past few weeks began to make sense. Things like the way both girls twirled their hair in nervousness. They had his brown eyes while Stephanie’s were blue. He got up, nearly capsizing the chair in haste. Something told him he should be at Stephanie’s when that storm hit.
* * *
Fear coursed through Stephanie as she disconnected the call. Brendan had been with Jennifer and the kids. He just wanted to let her know they were on their way home. The possibilities of what could have happened pulled at her like an undertow.
At home she could protect Kimberly, but in close proximity for several hours, he was bound to notice the similarities between their daughters. Thankfully, Jennifer knew and that was the only protection she had today. She should have told him. In her heart, she knew the news couldn’t wait any longer. Once the initial shock passed, she felt he’d understand. It wasn’t like he could try for custody or anything.
She stumbled back against the counter as a new shockwave crashed through her. Sourness rose from the pit of her stomach. The idea that he might attempt such a thing hammered through her mind. She had not thought of that possibility. Legally could he do that? Would she be able to prevent him from gaining even shared custody? Kimberly had been born a Douglas. Surely that would carry weight in a court of law.
Matthew was the only father the girl had ever known. He’d loved her as his own and she adored him in return. There’d never been a reason to tell her otherwise. Now she would have to.
Oh Lord, what a mess. All she wanted was a home and family. Matthew had provided that unconditionally. Never in her wildest dreams had she anticipated having Brendan back in her life.
Voices in the front hall interrupted her thoughts. Smoothing her trousers and forcing a smile, Stephanie left the kitchen, reaching them just as Jennifer started upstairs with Max.
“You wore him out, I see?” She pointed, not letting on what she knew. He nestled against her friend oblivious to the disaster about to shake his world. Yes, this would affect him as well. The three of them were a package deal. Brendan would have to make the choice to accept it or not.