by Kiru Taye
She stood up. “And I’ll get dressed and sort out lunch. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”
His eyebrows quirked up and he chuckled. “A horse?”
“Figuratively, of course.” She laughed before sashaying inside, the short towel around her displaying long, smooth legs that had been wound around him not too long ago. His body tightened in response.
The buzzing phone stopped him from following her indoors. He picked it up and saw the name on the caller display. Mark.
“At last,” Mark said when he answered. “I’ve been trying to reach you. Got your message.”
“I just wondered if you were free to meet up. I’ve got a few things I want to run by you,” Felix replied, turning his back to the door Ebony had disappeared into as he tried to dispel her image from his mind.
“I’m currently in Jo’burg and won’t be back in Lagos for a couple of days. But I can talk now.”
“This is not a conversation for the phone. Will you be back by Friday?” Felix couldn’t afford anyone else overhearing his telephone conversation. The last thing he needed right now was another media scandal. Moreover, he wanted to talk to Ebony first. Give her the opportunity to come clean about what sat on her mind.
“Yes. We could meet at the usual place,” Mark replied.
“Good. Same time, too. See you then.”
“Ok. Bye.”
Felix switched his phone off and went inside to find his wife.
Whilst Felix was outside, Ebony showered quickly and got dressed in a white top and red Capri trousers. As she stood in front of the mirror, she placed a hand on her still flat tummy, a loving smile on her face. A little life grew inside her. A life that was nothing more than a mass of cells at the moment. But to her, a life, nonetheless.
Too many people had gone from her life. Too many lives lost because of circumstances beyond her control. Her father. Her brother. Taken because she had chosen a love affair with the wrong person over her family. A love affair with Dele Savage. In the end, she’d lost the people that mattered to her and still lost Dele.
Now, it seemed she faced another unpalatable dilemma. She had the tiny life within her that she wanted desperately. Yet, she also had to consider Felix, whom she would give anything to have forever. Well, almost anything. Felix was only supposed to be her husband for two years. That had been the deal. This new life growing within her represented new beginnings for her. For Felix, too, if he’d give them a chance.
She wanted to keep both of them. But how possible would that be? She would have to try and convince him that they were worth it. That their relationship could foster the right environment for a child to grow and flourish. That what they had amounted to more than just a business deal that would end one day. However, before she told him, she’d have to show him first. So that when she said the words, he’d believe her. Hopefully.
Ebony walked into the kitchen and picked up the lunch items she’d brought along. More scenic and romantic eating outside, so she arranged the items on the table set under the shade of the palm trees. From here, they’d have an unobstructed view of the sea.
Felix came out holding the bottle of chilled white wine and the wine glasses. He’d dressed in grey combat shorts and a white t-shirt that clung to his muscular torso. Ebony had to stop herself from reaching out to touch his chest.
“I thought we’d eat out here. It’s shaded and cool. Plus I love watching and listening to the crash of the sea waves on the sand,” she said, averting her eyes from the object of her distraction.
“Sure. That’s the whole point of being out here. Get away from the distractions of Lagos and enjoy the solace and tranquillity of the beach.” He moved his chair closer to her and sat down before pouring the wine.
“It’s just lovely being out here. The sound of the sea is so soothing, the cool breeze refreshing, and the fact we can have this section of the beach all to ourselves is great, too. I’m surprised we haven’t had any intruders.”
She started dishing out the food. He took one of her hands and placed a kiss on the centre of her palm. A bolt of electricity shot through her.
“For the right price, we could have the whole stretch of beach,” he said as he shrugged with nonchalance before fixing her with a concerned stare. “I was hoping the break away from your normal routine would get you to relax and stop worrying. I know the past few weeks must have been difficult for you, but things are going to get better. If only you’d trust me.”
His unreadable dark eyes held hers in a trance. For a moment, she remained tongue-tied as her pulse picked up. If only she could trust him completely, but this would be just a bubble. When his memory came back, this illusion would end. She had to protect herself from the fallout sure to happen.
“Felix, I...I trust you,” she lied.
“Do you?” he asked ruefully as he caressed her cheek. His eyes told her he saw through her lie. “Maybe not today, but hopefully, one day soon. For now, I want to thank you for all your prayers and for staying with me when others would have given up hope.” He kissed her palm again, sending more tingles down her arm.
“You don’t need to thank me. Where else would I have been but besides you? I am your wife.”
“That you are. And a good wife, too, from all accounts.” His smile radiated charm, melting her insides.
“Accounts? Who’s been talking to you about me?” She laughed nervously, her sense of guilt making her body tremble.
A shadow of sadness flickered in his eyes. “You have been, though, haven’t you? A good wife?”
Knots twisted in Ebony’s belly, her heart skipping a beat. She lowered her eyes to the plates of food and forked a piece of chicken in her salad. Did Felix sense something amiss? She had withheld things from him. About their marriage. About the life growing in her. Did that make her a bad wife?
“You tell me. It’s for you to decide. Am I a good wife?” She kept her eyes averted, not wanting him to see her guilt.
His warm laughter floated in the sea breeze.
“I like that. Throw that back at me, won’t you? From the smell of the food, I’d say you are a very good wife. How’s that?” He winked at her. The humour in his voice settled some of her worry.
“Is that all it takes to please you? Cook you a nice meal?” she smiled tentatively.
“That’s a good start. Although I can think of plenty more ways you please me, too.”
His gaze scanned her body in that way that spelled pure Felix and so masculine. Her skin flushed with heat as she remembered the two of them in the pool. What if someone had seen them? She had been so overcome by the moment that she hadn’t noticed anything else. Just Felix. His potent masculinity and her primal need to connect with him, to soothe her jangled nerves with his roaring possession.
She’d noticed his cool aloofness back in the house when she’d returned from Faith’s house. That remoteness had remained all day except for the brief spell in the car when he’d kissed her before they arrived at the resort. She’d felt she needed to do something to draw him out. Wearing that bikini had been calculated but it worked. He took the bait and the result had been the fiercest trip to ecstasy she’d ever taken. A shiver of excitement slid down her spine.
“I hope I’ll continue to please you.” Even after you find out the truth about us. She looked up and smiled at him boldly.
He smiled at her. “Of course you will.”
He speared some of the food and fed her. They ate and talked jovially. About nothing serious; the food, the resort, the beach, sports. They quibbled cheerily about which proved the better sports—American football versus rugby—Ebony supporting the former and Felix the latter.
After lunch, they strolled along the beach arm-in-arm. Felix held her close. When they got to a shaded cove, they both got down on the sand. She sat in front of Felix, between his thighs, and leaned back against his chest, basking in his warmth, his firmness, his strength. It felt so good being with him. She wanted the feeling to last forever. Th
ey sat there watching the fishermen in their boats on the horizon.
“Tell me about you. What were you like as a child?” Felix asked her as he stroked her arms with tenderness.
“If you want to find out what I was like as a child, you might want to talk to Mum. She’ll bring out all the old photos and bore you to death.” She laughed and Felix joined her.
“My brother and I were both born in Lagos, although we travelled around a lot depending on where my father got posted. We eventually moved to the USA, where we settled when I was about twelve years old. My childhood was very happy, Chidi being about four years my senior. He was a good brother. Overprotective sometimes, but still good. We were a happy family. It all changed later, all because of me. Then Dad and Chidi died.”
Ebony shivered as the memories descended on her. As if sensing her unease, Felix pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her.
“You know, I think I remember Chidi. We were about the same age. I think I remember playing football with him as a kid.”
Felix kept a cheery tone. A blanket of anguish enclosed Ebony, almost suffocating her. She lowered her head into her hands. Felix took her hands away and pulled her into his chest.
“I know the memories hurt,” he said in a soothing voice. “If you want to stop, that’s fine by me. But I think talking about it would help you to bury the past finally.” He caressed her back. She sighed as some of the tension left her body.
“I know. I want to talk about it,” she murmured.
“How did things change?”
He spoke quietly and affectionately, holding her tightly. She felt safe. Secure.
“Things changed when I met Dele. My first year at university, and I’d just turned eighteen. We met at a campus party. He was a medical student in his fourth year—sporty, very popular, and good-looking. I guess I fell in love with him on sight. When he asked me out on a date, I couldn’t believe my luck. I hadn’t dated anybody previously, so I guess I proved naive about relationships. I was willing to do whatever it took to keep him happy. He became the centre of my focus outside of my studies. He more or less controlled everything I did. When my parents found out about our relationship, they tried to discourage me. Said I should focus on my studies and leave relationships for after graduation. As far as I was concerned, I had met the man of my dreams and we were going to live happily ever after.”
The memories swam in her mind as if she lived through them again. Felix continued his gentle caress on her shoulders and arms. She exhaled another deep breath.
“When Dele decided to come to Nigeria to see his parents, he invited me to come along. I knew my parents wouldn’t let me go, so I didn’t tell them and came to Nigeria with Dele. Whilst there, I found out his parents didn’t like me. They excluded me from conversations by only speaking Yoruba, a language they knew I couldn’t understand. At the time, I put it down to their idiosyncrasy and Dele dismissed it as nothing, so I forgot about it.”
Her heart contracted in pain, and tears stung the back of her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“My parents found out about my trip to Nigeria. They came there in search of me. On their way to the Savages’ house, the accident happened. A huge fuel tanker with bad brakes careered into their car, killing my brother who was driving. My father died later in the hospital. Though I never got there in time to see him.”
The tears ran freely down her cheeks. Felix’s hold on her body tightened. He rocked her, whispering calming words in her ear.
“It’s ok, ima-mmi. It’s over now.”
When her sobs quietened, she spoke again. “Dele’s mother told me about the accident. They’d received a call from the hospital. My mother had their contact details. Though her injuries were crippling, she’d been awake and able to talk.... If I hadn’t come to Nigeria, that accident would never have happened. It was my fault. I killed my father and brother. And crippled my mother.”
“No. The accident wasn’t your fault. I won’t have you blame yourself,” he spoke gruffly against her hair. He turned her face, his expression determined. “It wasn’t your fault. Okay?”
His conviction calmed her down. Relief spread through her that he didn’t judge her as guilty. She nodded and continued.
“After the accident, Dele and I got even closer. He was very good to me, supported me through the period my mother was in hospital and through the funeral. We talked about marriage several times but some obstacle always crept up. First, he wanted to finish medical school. Then, it became his residency. Then he wanted to work for a while, earn some money, and make a name for himself. I waited patiently, thinking that as long as I was with the man I loved, it would all come together. Eventually, two years ago, he bought me a ring and proposed. I was so happy. We set a date. Finally, everything came together. My mother was happy that he would finally make an honest woman out of me. However, the euphoria didn’t last. A month to our wedding date, he told me he couldn’t go through with it. His father had threatened to disown him if he married me. I wasn’t the right person for him. They had a more suitable candidate. Basically, it boiled down to the fact that I came from a different ethnic group. I was devastated. What about all we’d been through together? All the years I’d committed to him? All the promises he made to me? Did those count for nothing? Did he not love me enough? Well, apparently not.
“So when my mother started talking about a ten-year memorial service for my dad and Chidi, as much as I didn’t want to return here, I had to come back. To finally lay their ghosts to rest. To finally move on with my life. My plan spelled to forget about men and concentrate on my career. Of course, I never reckoned on you.” She smiled weakly. “From the moment I saw you at the airport, you’ve been like a force of nature razing everything in your path. Then you asked me to marry you and had everything all planned out until your accident happened. I got so scared and thought, not again. It felt like replaying history. Another life-altering car crash. Lord knows what I would have done if you hadn’t lived. Getting that phone call to say you were awake was the best news I’d ever had.” She wriggled closer to him, so glad he was alive and on the mend.
“I’m not going anywhere. You have to believe that,” he said huskily against her cheek.
“In my life, I have watched the people I love get injured and die because of my stupidity. When your accident happened, I blamed myself. I thought I must be cursed. That there had to be something inherently wrong with me.”
Tears pooled in her eyes again and he kissed each drop tenderly as they fell on her cheeks.
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful, intelligent, passionate, kind, and generous young woman. Waking up to find you in my life has been wonderful and I wouldn’t change it. I feel I have been given a new lease on life all because of you. For the first time in a very long time, I am happy, and it’s all you, ima-mmi.”
His tender words warmed her heart, dissolving her despondency. Felix was happy being with her. She hoped things would only get better.
“Being with you these past few days has more than made up for the pain of the past. But you’re welcome to show me how happy you are later.”
He chuckled and pulled her in for a kiss so tender that she melted on the spot. But it was over too quickly. Felix stood and pulled her up. They headed back to the hut.
That evening, they dined under the stars to the sound of the waves crashing and the saltiness of the light sea breeze on their lips. Felix fed her the delicious, fresh seafood from the platter. The food had been prepared in front of them in an open fire. Later that night, when it became just the two of them in the hut, Felix made love to her tenderly, softly whispering words of endearment, showering her body with adoration. Replete, she slept off in his arms, feeling contented and cherished. Several times in the night, they woke and each time, the lovemaking proved passionate and fulfilling. They made love at dawn once more and when Ebony woke later, the sun was already up, and Felix not in bed.
She got out of bed. W
ith nothing else within reach, she put on Felix’s shirt in a hurry to find him. It looked big on her and came down to her mid-thighs. She walked out to the decked area to find Felix getting out of the swimming pool. The water droplets glistened off his body and he picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist.
“How did you sleep?” he asked her and smiled warmly as he walked towards her.
“Very well, considering.” She returned the smile, strolling over to him.
“You look sexy in my shirt.” He kissed her hungrily before pulling back. “I’ve ordered breakfast. It’ll be here any minute. I’ve got a huge appetite this morning.” He kissed her again, his tongue sweeping her lips.
At that point, two stewards turned up with trays of food and drinks and laid them on the table outside. When they left, Felix took her hand and led her to the table, sitting her on his lap. He fed her like he’d done the previous morning, ensuring she ate some of the food. She ate as much as she could, not wanting to make him suspicious even though she didn’t have any appetite for a hearty meal.
When they finished eating, Felix’s phone started buzzing and she used the opportunity to escape to the bathroom when she felt nauseous. After throwing up, she straightened up when she felt Felix’s hand on her back, massaging it lightly. Panicked for a moment, she hadn’t realised that he’d heard her or come into the bathroom. She should have known the sounds would carry through the internal walls. He poured some water from the tap into a glass and gave it to her. She rinsed out her mouth, took a deep breath, and turned to face him.
“Ebony, what’s wrong with you. Are you sick?” Felix’s handsome face creased with worry.
She shook her head. “I’m not sick. I’m fine.”
He stepped back and scrubbed his head with his hand. “You’re not fine. You are thin. You don’t eat. And the food you eat, you throw it back up.” His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “It’s not some kind of eating disorder, is it?”
She laughed nervously, looking away from him. If only. How would she tell him that this wasn’t an illness or disorder? That it was just her body’s way of adjusting to the new life growing inside her? A new life she knew he would surely reject.