by Unknown
Her lips clamped together more. “No, I don’t. Excuse me, Boone,” she said and fled from the room.
He stared after her. She clearly was sick. He got up and trailed after her, wondering where she had gone, and then saw the closed bathroom door in the back hallway.
He walked to the door and waited.
“Erin, can I help?” he asked, concerned now because she was sick, which she should have just told him when she answered the door.
“No!”
He stared at the door and turned to go back to the kitchen and pour his coffee. If she had lost her breakfast, he wondered if she would like some soda crackers and pop to calm her stomach. Maybe she had a twenty-four-hour virus, but he hadn’t heard of one going around.
He went to the pantry to find crackers and got a bottle of pop, snapping it open and pouring a small glass. He put some crackers on a plate.
He sat back down to wait, and as time grew longer, he wondered if she had fainted. He stood to go see about her, when she came back through the door. She looked pale and distraught and he had to fight the urge to get up and take her in his arms and hold her.
“I got some crackers and pop for you if you want. That might settle your stomach.”
“I’m fine,” she replied firmly.
“You’re not fine,” he said. “Let’s move over by the sofa and you lie down. I’ll bring the crackers and pop.”
“Boone, I’m fine,” she said. “But we’ll move.” She hurried to the sofa and sat down, leaning back and closing her eyes as she rubbed her forehead.
“I’ll stay with you today. Hettie is cooking at my house, so if there’s anything you want, I can send her over here—”
“No, there isn’t,” Erin said, opening her eyes and looking alarmed. “And I’d rather be alone. Then I can sleep. How soon are you moving out?”
“Right away. I wanted to tell you before I told Perry, although I imagine he’ll be glad to see me go.”
“Uncle Perry doesn’t dislike you.”
“I feel like a real greenhorn around him.”
She waved her hand and gazed at him. Boone wanted to hold her badly. He hurt and he wanted her to protest and ask him to stay at the ranch, but she was doing none of that. He couldn’t resist. He grasped her hand, feeling how soft and warm she was. He moved close beside her on the sofa and felt her forehead.
“At least you don’t have a temperature.”
“No, I don’t. I’m fine, really,” she said, but he noticed she hadn’t pulled her hand away. He rubbed her wrist lightly and wondered if her pulse had speeded as his own had when he touched her.
“I’ve really missed you, Erin,” he said solemnly and watched her inhale deeply. Her lips firmed again and she sat up straighter.
“I’ve missed you, too, Boone, but I think our decision is for the best.”
He studied her intently. She was telling him goodbye, giving him the cold shoulder, insisting she wanted him to move away. Yet why did he have the feeling that wasn’t what she really wanted at all?
Was his own ego blinding him? He suspected that might be the case. The lady said go, so he should get out of her life.
“Bye, darlin’,” he said softly, brushing her lips so lightly while his insides clenched and heated and he wanted her as he had never wanted a woman before.
“I’ll let myself out, Erin. Don’t move. I’ll go out the back door so the front will still be locked. I’ll stay with you today if you want or get you anything you need.”
“I’m fine and I don’t need you to get a thing. If you’ll let yourself out, that’s good,” she said, putting her head back against the sofa and closing her eyes, and he knew he had been dismissed.
Hurting, he stood and gazed down at her, fighting the constant and increasing urge to bend down and take her in his arms. He wanted desperately to hold her. He turned abruptly and crossed the room, moving through the house without thinking while pain overwhelmed him. He wanted her badly. At the door he looked back and she hadn’t moved.
“Erin—”
“I’m fine, Boone. I just want to be alone,” she said, her voice sounding more firm than it had only a few minutes ago.
He left, closing the door quietly behind him and standing beside it. Something was wrong and he didn’t know if it was just his own world that had crumbled and made him feel that way about everything else, or if something was really amiss that he wasn’t getting. He went back inside quietly, starting to call to her, when he saw her go striding past the open hall door.
Startled, he stopped and then let himself out silently. He walked home slowly. She hadn’t been in the bathroom sick to her stomach in pretense. He was certain of that because she had been pale as snow. But she didn’t have a fever and she had looked fine just now. Not like someone up off a sickbed and creeping around the house.
Puzzled, he went home, thinking about her, forgetting that he intended to move today until he stepped inside the mansion and saw his packed boxes. He went through the house to the kitchen.
“Hettie,” he said as he entered the kitchen. “I don’t think Erin is well. She was sick to her stomach this morning.”
Hettie busied herself at the sink without looking at him. “I wouldn’t know.”
“You cooked at her place yesterday. Was she feeling all right then?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, banging pots and still keeping her back turned to him.
She obviously wanted him out of her kitchen. He suspected it was unanimous that everyone wanted him off the ranch. Perry knew things weren’t right between Erin and him, but Boone thought that likely suited Perry just fine. The man probably figured Erin had seen the light and dumped him. Which it looks like she did, he thought glumly. She had probably dumped other guys in the past and Perry had been around to see this occur and had taken it all in stride.
She didn’t exactly look as if she had a broken heart or was pining away without him.
He knew it was over between them and he needed to pack and go. He knew he couldn’t stay at the Double T. He couldn’t stand staying in that mansion by himself. It was too big and empty. It reminded him something was missing from his life.
He wasn’t certain he could stay and watch Erin date some other guy. Possibly fall in love and get married. Just the thought tied him in knots.
Late in the afternoon, Boone drove back to the house to pack more of his belongings, but he moved slowly, his thoughts still wrapped up in Erin.
He didn’t know he could want a woman as badly as he wanted her. Or hurt over one the way he hurt over her. A hurt that wasn’t going away or diminishing. Instead, it was getting worse with each passing day.
He was tempted to call her and see how she was feeling. He tried to continue packing but gave it up. All he could think about was Erin, and he wondered what she was doing. Several times he reached for the phone only to put it down and tell himself that she would not want him to call.
He went over the morning again, remembering his strange conversation with Hettie who had been so cold and aloof with him.
When he stopped to think about it, Erin had been sick twice lately—when she ran out of the stable and this morning.
He stared into space and then a thought occurred to him as he remembered his mother fighting morning sickness with every pregnancy, and as a kid, he used to wonder why she kept having children.
“Oh, damn!” Boone stood up, his eyes round while shock hit him like a bolt of lightning. It couldn’t be possible, could it? But then too many things fit—sickness that passed quickly, her abrupt breaking off the relationship.
Erin was pregnant with his child!
Stunned, he clutched his stomach, feeling sick himself, but then he reminded himself that he might be way off. He left his house, striding across the driveway to her door to punch the bell.
She swung open the door and she had none of the pallor of the morning. She looked great, even glowing, and he was reminded again with a gut punch how much he missed her.
“Yes,” she said cautiously, stepping back.
He entered and heard her close the door behind him. Without waiting for her, he went to the family room and turned to face her.
“How’re you feeling?”
“I feel fine now. I thought you were going to town.”
“Did you feel fine yesterday morning?”
“Yes,” she answered, looking puzzled, and he began to relax.
“I thought maybe you had morning sickness,” he said evenly, holding his breath. “Erin, are you pregnant?”
Nine
E rin felt her heart plummet and her head spin. How had he guessed? And guessed so quickly? Surely just this morning hadn’t given her away?
He steadied her, and she was aware of his fingers on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and stepped back so his hand fell away, but she was looking into his piercing blue eyes and she could feel that he could probably see the truth by just looking at her.
There was no use denying what he had said, because she couldn’t hide the pregnancy forever.
“You’re not obligated by this in any way, Boone. I made my own choices.”
He paled, and she clutched her hand to her middle, hurting because it was obvious that her affirmation of his suspicions were not what he wanted to hear.
Boone turned away and raked his fingers through his hair and she gazed at his broad shoulders.
“Go home, Boone. This doesn’t concern you anymore,” she said stiffly, hurting more than ever. “I’m financially well fixed and can afford this baby and you don’t have to be any part of this whatsoever.”
He turned around to study her intently, and she was certain that he felt trapped and guilt was probably eating him up.
“I really mean it. Get out,” she said. “Go. I’m fine. The doctor said the morning sickness will pass soon. I have a lot of support here.”
“Hettie knows, doesn’t she? But Perry doesn’t.”
“I haven’t told Hettie, but she might have guessed. I haven’t told anyone except my friend Tina.”
“Erin, you were a virgin. That’s my baby and there’s only one answer. We need to do the right thing.”
“Absolutely not. I know how you feel about marriage and I will not marry you.”
He waved his hand in a dismissing motion. “That’s easy to say now, but you won’t want to say it later. Your baby needs a father.”
“Boone, you of all people should know that kids can get along without a father. I have so many father figures on this ranch. Don’t you know that Uncle Perry will be like a devoted grandfather to this baby?”
“I’m sure he will,” Boone said between clenched teeth, “but that doesn’t take away my responsibility—”
“Just stop right there,” she said firmly. “I’m not marrying you. You can beg, cajole, plead, argue, but I will not do it. Let’s get that straight this minute. I don’t want to date you anymore. I want us to go our separate ways. Our relationship was a big mistake except that I have a sweet baby on the way and that’s good.”
“I don’t believe you don’t want to marry,” he said in a gruff voice. His fists were still clenched, and he looked tense and wound tight.
“That’s your problem, but I’m not changing what I’m telling you. I do not want you in my life again and I will not marry you,” she said firmly and clearly and in a louder voice as if he couldn’t get the facts straight. She could feel the tension between them escalating and a silent battle of wills was already under way.
“You’re just saying and doing that to let me off the hook and to be nice.”
“Boone, your ego is enormous. Can you get this? There is a woman here who is not all wrapped up in being with you. One does not turn down a marriage offer to ‘be nice.’ We’re through. Finished. It’s over!” she said loudly, leaning toward him as if he had suddenly become deaf.
“Last week you didn’t feel that way at all,” he said quietly.
“No, I didn’t, but I’ve stepped back and taken a long look at the future and the present and I want you out of my life. I’m not marrying you because I’m pregnant. Not under any circumstances.”
“I can’t believe you.”
“Am I the first woman to ever send you packing?”
“That’s not it, dammit. You need me now and what we had was good,” he argued, and she didn’t want to listen or think about what he was saying. Trying to turn a deaf ear on his words, she glared at him.
“Dating was good for a time, but life changes. I know you’ve broken up with women many a time. You just changed how you felt about them. Remember?”
He stared at her, and her heart drummed while she faced him.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
“I’m sure.”
“Perry’s going to kill me.”
“No, he won’t. But you might want to get off the ranch for a time.”
“I’ll tell him that I proposed to you and you turned me down.”
“Don’t say you weren’t warned to stay out of his way,” she said, barely knowing now what she was saying. She just wanted Boone to go because she was having difficulty trying to keep calm and in control of her emotions.
“Will you go to dinner with me tonight and discuss this?”
“No, I won’t. We’re through, Boone. This is goodbye, whether you live on the ranch or not.”
He turned, striding out and slamming the door. She let out her breath and shook all over. He rang the bell and she started toward the door when he opened it. “Erin, I just can’t walk away. Dammit, you have—”
“No, I don’t have to do anything with you. Goodbye,” she repeated, thankful she hadn’t burst into tears the minute he had closed the door and wondering if he had come back to see if she had.
He slammed the door closed again, and she fought tears, finally giving vent to them. He wanted to marry her for all the wrong reasons. He wanted to date for the wrong reasons. There had been no joy from him about the confirmation of the news that she was pregnant.
She knew he felt trapped, just as she had thought he would. He had proposed out of duty and offered to stay with her out of duty.
Walking to the window, she watched him stride across the yard. If he had good sense, he would get off the ranch before Uncle Perry found out the truth. She could hide it briefly, but that was all. Especially if Hettie knew.
Erin went upstairs to her room and moved to the window where she could see out across the ranch. She put her head against the cool window. How easy it would have been to say yes, but all the joy would have gone out of their relationship. She wanted a real home and a loving husband, not a marriage out of duty and obligation.
She cried quietly and then wiped her tears, telling herself to think about the baby and the joys the baby would bring. If only her parents had lived to see this baby. She wiped her eyes and moved away from the window, going to her father’s room to move around, touching his things, looking at a family picture and looking at him and at her mother. She needed to call her sister and tell her, but Mary would be on the first plane to the ranch and she would tear into Boone if she saw him.
Erin smiled and looked out the window at the stables and corral and then her heart dropped. She saw Boone and her uncle talking. Several of the men gathered around them and as she watched, her uncle swung his fist and knocked Boone to the ground.
“Oh, no!” she cried out, turning to run, dashing down the stairs. Boone was a trained fighter, but she saw him take the blow without even trying to defend himself. She could just imagine what was happening and knew Boone might let her uncle and the others beat him senseless without lifting a hand against them.
“I told you to stay out of his way. You foolish, foolish man,” she said without even realizing she was talking or what she was saying as she ran through the house and outside, racing across the lawn and the driveway.
Now more men circled Perry and Boone and she couldn’t even see t
hem. She could hear men yelling to Perry to hit him again and then others yelling at Boone.
Suddenly one of the cowboys blocked her path. It was Dusty Thatcher and he had his feet planted wide apart, his hands on his hips as he blocked her.
“Dusty, you get out of my way.”
“Erin, you go on back home. This is between the men. Your daddy would want me to send you home and that’s exactly what I’m doing, and if I have to, I’ll pick you up and carry you there.”
“Dusty, I’ve been having a difficult time. Are you going to upset me when I’m pregnant?” she snapped. “My daddy wouldn’t want any of you to make me lose this baby, now, would he? This will be his first grandchild.”
The man’s eyebrows shot up and his jaw dropped and he stared at her. “No, ma’am, they wouldn’t. But you can’t—”
“Oh, yes I can,” she said, brushing past him.
Instantly, Dusty jumped in front of her and pushed between the men, talking to them. Cowboys she had known all her life turned to stare at her and she saw the surprise on each man’s face as Dusty must have relayed her message. Suddenly they were quiet except for the blow as Perry’s fist connected again on Boone’s jaw and he sprawled back in the dirt.
She walked up and faced Perry.
“Dammit,” he said, “who let you in here, Erin? You go home—”
“I’ll tell you the same thing I told Dusty. Do you want to be upsetting me when you shouldn’t? Do you really want to tangle with a pregnant woman?”
Perry blinked and lowered his fists. “Are you all right?”
She nodded. “I will be if you’ll leave me alone and I can go home and not be so mightily upset.”
“Erin, you know none of us want to upset or hurt you,” Perry said, sounding instantly contrite.
Boone stood up, weaving, and then he straightened. She barely glanced at him as Perry shot Boone a deadly glance and then turned away. “C’mon, boys. Let’s go.” He looked over his shoulder. “Sorry, Erin,” Perry said, giving her a narrow look.
They began to walk away and she glanced at Boone. “Let’s go into the stable. There’s a first-aid room.”