by Kathryn Shay
“Ever wonder why no one stuck in eight years?”
“Yeah, I did. But I didn’t want to pry.”
“Because they weren’t you, damn it!” Her voice had risen up decibels. She turned away and repeated in a whisper, “Because I’m in love with you.”
Eyes closed, she waited for him to leave. No sounds came. Then she felt him behind her. He grasped her upper arms gently. Into her ear, he said, “Turn around, Mil.”
Under the Finn-spell again, she turned.
And was shocked when he lowered his head to her lips, hovered there. “This okay?”
She didn’t say no.
* * *
Whatever came over him—the store, the scent and feel of her, emotions swirling inside him—Finn couldn’t control any of it. He only knew one thing. He had to kiss her. He took her lips with tenderness and a bit of awe. He pressed them open and explored her. She was so sweet, yet so sexy and all woman. Gone was the girl with a crush. The woman kissed him back.
She melded her mouth into his, grasped his nape to keep him where he was, and aligned her body with his. His hand went to her back, pressed her into him. All the while the kiss went on. He felt her move restlessly against his erection.
After who knew how long, they broke the connection. He didn’t expect the shock on her face. The way she touched her lips with her fingers. “Why did you do that?”
“Because I guess I have feelings for you, too. And not just physically, because this reaction,” he pointed downward “came out of nowhere.”
“You don’t play fair.”
He thought about the times he took her hand, grasped her arms, and braided her hair on the boat, for God’s sake. At least she didn’t see that as harassment.
She stepped out of his arms. “You should go.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t emotionally afford for us to go further tonight. And you know after what just happened, it will.”
“I guess I understand that. Are you really quitting the store?”
“Do you actually think we can go back to employee and employer after this?”
“We can forge a new relationship.”
“What would that look like, Finn?”
“I have no idea. We’ll figure it out together.”
“You drive me crazy, you know that?”
“Same here, sweetheart.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “I’ll leave, but I expect you at work tomorrow.”
* * *
Molly smiled up at Fitz after dinner at Mecca’s. They were outside, waiting for a cab, and in the shadows. He tipped her face and his lips met hers. It was a nice kiss, not sexual, but with some fire mixed in.
When they moved apart, she said, “I’m not sure this is the best thing to be doing.”
“Why, Mol?”
“I don’t like to get close to people.”
“That’s all right. Being a cop, I don’t either.”
“I don’t trust men.”
“Because of your father?”
Abruptly, she drew back. “How would you know anything about my father?”
Shit, he’d made a mistake. She drove him crazy and he lost his head some times. “You mentioned him the night we met. That you’d been to his place.”
“I did?”
“Yeah. Look, Molly, we’ll take this slow. But I want to touch you, kiss you…other things.”
“I think I want that too.”
“Good. We’ll go out tomorrow night. Talk about us.”
“All right, Fitz.”
* * *
Chapter 4
* * *
Eight a.m.
Millie had considered calling in sick, pulling a no-show or moving to Alaska, but she did none of those things. She dressed like she always did, choosing a pink skirt and blouse, with a navy sweater for the walk. Though she did apply some lip-gloss and rouge. Her hair fell in soft waves around her face.
Again, she walked to Fitzgerald’s. Why wasn’t she tired? She’d barely slept all night. But she knew the answer. Finn had said he cared about her. But did he mean in a romantic way?
Still with no goal in mind, she arrived early and the front door was still locked. She frowned. They were both supposed to work today. Maybe he hadn’t slept well, either. She expected answers and had hoped he’d gotten here before the others.
He didn’t.
Craig and Lorna came in a bit before the doors opened to catalogue inventory that had arrived yesterday and check the shelves to see if any needed restocking.
Judy showed up at ten minutes to nine.
Still no Finn.
Nine a.m.
“What’s wrong, Finn?” Hayley sat out on the deck of the lake house across from him.
He ran his hand through his hair. “Something happened.”
She gripped the water bottle she held. “Oh, Finn, are you sick?”
“What, no.”
“Is Bridget? Or any of our cousins?”
“No, honey, this is about me.”
Her face blanked. “Because of the store problem?”
“No, it’s personal.”
“You never want to talk about you.”
“I have no choice. This is too important to make a mistake.”
She waited, then socked his arm gently. “You’ll have to tell me, or I won’t be able to help.”
He pushed the words out. “I kissed Millie last night.”
Hayley began to laugh. When she calmed, she said, “Hell, it’s about time.”
That was the last thing he expected. “What do you mean?”
“You’re in love with Millie Morrison.”
The shake of his head was strong, as was the conviction that made him respond, “You can’t be in love with someone and not know it. Granted I care about her. But last night, things between us exploded.”
She stared at him. “I stand by my insight.”
“Why?”
“Number one, you talk about her all the time. Mostly, it’s to complain about her standing up to you. Number two, she makes you crazy.”
“Yeah, she does, sometimes. I’ve always acknowledged that fact.”
“Who else in your life makes you crazy? I mean among the women you date.”
“Um…ah…”
“No woman has ever done that.”
“Katie Harrison.”
“In high school? You have to go back that far? You’re bordering on pathetic, Finn.”
“How could this happen, Hayley?”
“You don’t know your own heart because it’s rarely been involved in any romantic relationship you’ve had.”
“I’m at a loss, here. I need advice.”
She leaned over and squeezed his hand where it rested on the table. “Tell me how this came about.” When he finished, she said, “I knew Millie had a crush on you. Then, I thought it grew into more. But a year or two ago she seemed, I don’t know, to get over you.”
He could still see her, shaking her head at her confession that she loved him. “I thought that, too.”
“But you two are together most days and evenings. My guess is feelings kept building up.”
“Building up? For her?”
“And for you. Why did you run out on the O’Neils, when such a big thing was happening with the store?”
“I knew something serious was bothering her. I felt… compelled to go after her.” He scowled. “I rarely feel compelled to do anything.”
“I rest my case.”
“No, you can’t. We have to discuss the wisdom of this. If Millie and I pursue a romantic relationship, and it goes wrong, she’ll quit.”
“She’ll quit if you don’t pursue a relationship. Words like the ones she said can’t be taken back. Or the feelings hidden. That goes for both of you.”
“How did this happen?”
She grasped his arm. “Your body got sick of your mind blocking how important she is to you. So it took over.”
“You think?”
He stood and went to the railing. Stared out over the water that always soothed him. Then turned to his sister. “I honestly don’t know how to behave with her under these circumstances. I am pathetic.”
“Let things roll out between you. Follow your instincts.”
“I’m petrified of doing that.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling. But if you want Millie in your life, you’ll have to be honest and see what you’ve got together.”
Noon
Millie accepted a date with Emerson. He’d called twice and when she realized Finn wasn’t coming in, she’d gotten majorly pissed, said, “Fuck it” then agreed to go out to lunch.
Emerson was his usual upbeat self as they sat in Washington Square Park, happy, excited about work, solicitous of her.
“What’s wrong, Millie? You’re distracted.”
“Um, it’s an issue at the store.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“I can’t. Let’s change the subject.”
“If you’re sure.”
She nodded.
“Has Finn found a way to help us get more funding?”
“The soup kitchen’s kind of gotten lost in all that’s going on.”
“I’ll wait a bit, then.” He wrapped up the dregs of his sub and tossed it and hers in a can a foot away. Then he took her hand. “Millie, I want your attention. I want to pursue this relationship, see where we end up. I need to know if you feel that way, too.”
Millie realized those were the exact words she wanted to hear. But not from Emerson.
Two p.m.
“What do you mean she’s not here? One of us is supposed to be present at all times.”
Judy gave an exasperated sigh. Something he was hearing a lot lately. “Finn, I’m training to oversee the store, and you or she can go out for lunch and leave me alone.”
“Still…” He frowned. “Do you know where she went?”
“Someplace with Emerson.”
His mind practically detonated with that tidbit. How the hell could she tell him she loved him last night and the next day go on a date with somebody else?
“I’ll be in the office to make sure we didn’t miss anything while she’s out galivanting around.”
Judy raised her chin. “I checked the email, the rare books site, as I’m allowed to do.”
He took a deep breath. “I know, Judy, I guess I’m distracted, not thinking straight.”
“Considering the letter you got this weekend, I’m not surprised.”
They’d told the employees about the situation so they didn’t hear it from the renters on the other floors.
“How’d the meeting go last night at Bailey’s Pub?”
“We have an action plan. First up is to meet with the owner and discuss the sale.”
“I hope this goes well for us.”
“I do too.” He headed back to the office. When he sat down, the air still carried a hint of her scent. She always smelled fresh and flowery. Maybe because she walked to work.
He called up his private email to see if Millie left him a message. She didn’t, but someone else important did.
Jonathan Parks, the owner of the building.
Hello, Finn. I got your message and I can meet Friday at ten a.m. in my office on Park Ave.
Finn didn’t even check his schedule. He responded he was available at any time. If the O’Neils weren’t free, he’d do it alone.
Next was one from Bridget.
Dear Finn and Hayley,
I’m inviting you to come to dinner at our home next week. Just you two, Paul, and myself. We would celebrate Hayley’s birthday. And catch up.
Mother
Finn considered the last words. He didn’t think his mother ever said she wanted to catch up with their lives before. He’d call his sister to see what she wanted to do. As he took his phone out, the back door opened and Millie came to the doorway. Alone. “So, you decided to come in after all. I figured you’d run away to the lake.”
Hell, she knew him pretty well.
“We need to talk.”
“Yeah, I know. I hardly slept and I thought you’d show up like a man early today to have this out.”
“Please come in here now. I’ll explain where I was.”
She stayed where she was. “I don’t know, Finn. You’re pretty unreliable.”
Something propelled him to stand and cross to the doorway. Then he shocked himself by bending over and picking Millie up and over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry.
She sputtered but he got the door closed fast, locked it, then deposited her on the stuffed chair in the room. Her eyes were flaming. “What the fuck was that?”
He leaned against the door. “That is the kind of thing you bring out in me.”
“You have no right to physically make me stay.”
“Of course, I don’t. But I want to talk about last night and I think you want that, too. You’re mad at me because I was gone for the morning.”
She deflated like a balloon losing air. Hell, he didn’t want that. He hurried to the chair, knelt down, and took her hands. “No, no, don’t do that, Millie. I’m as scared as you are about my feelings for you.”
“Feelings which you couldn’t identify last night.”
“I can today. I care enough to want to pursue a relationship with you. A romantic relationship. And yes, I’m thinking I may have fallen in love with you.”
Her eyes filled. “Please tell me you’re sure you want to find out. I won’t accept a part of you, like you like to give to other women.”
She knew all that?
“I wasn’t sure I could do it until this morning. I went to the lake about three a.m. when I couldn’t sleep. I called Hayley and asked her to meet me there. Actually, I don’t even know why I chose the lake.”
“Because it’s a place you’ve felt safe.”
“You think so?”
“I do.”
“In any case, what’s between us was too important to make a mistake. I needed to talk it out with my sister because she sees things about me that I don’t. She thinks my feelings are real. What’s more, she thinks I’ve had them for you for a long time.”
“It was the right thing to do, then. I won’t be mad anymore.”
Raising his hand, he brushed his knuckles down her cheek. “So, what about us?”
“You know I want a relationship with you.”
“And this is enough right now?”
Leaning over, she kissed his lips gently. “Yeah, it’s enough for now.”
* * *
Millie stared in the mirror, fluffed her hair and squatted down to rub Scout ears. “How about spending some time with Grandma and Grandpa tonight?”
The dog barked his reply. Yes.
“Come on, I’ll take you down there.” Millie leashed him, grabbed the little purse that held her phone and ID, and a wool scarf, then made the trip down the steps, in shoes that were a little higher than what she usually wore. They complemented the silky top and pants that she’d worn to Finn’s birthday party.
Things had changed so much in twenty-four hours, though the two of them still had some details to work out. Against her will—she didn’t want to like this—she thought about him picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder. It was something out of a romance novel. And in reality, it had been cute. And so uncharacteristic of him.
Once she and the dog reached the porch, she knocked on the door and opened it. The house smelled like marinara sauce. “Hey, there. I’m here.”
Grandma came out of the kitchen and into to the foyer. “Grandpa’s taking a nap.” She looked Millie up and down. “Why how lovely you are tonight, dear. Where are you going?”
“I have a dinner date.”
“Oh?”
She kissed her grandmother’s cheek. “Too soon to talk about.”
“Hmm.” She drew back. “Your eyes are lit up like Christmas tree lights. That’s promising.”
She unleashed Scout and he scampered in to inspect the house, probably searching for grandpa. Her phone buzzed in her purse. She took it out. “He’s here. I have to go.”
“Are we keeping Scout overnight?”
“I’m planning on being back to get him. Make sure you put him in his crate when you go to bed, if I haven’t picked him up before then.”
“Will do. Have fun.”
Millie hurried outside to find Finn standing by the car, holding the open front door. In the light from the street lamps, she could see he wore a gray and green checked sports coat with an open-collared shirt and dark pants. “Hello, Millie.” Leaning over, he kissed her. Just a soft, gentle brush of his lips but, as Grandma said, it held promise.
“Hello, Finn. Thanks for…I guess getting out of the car for me.”
“You’re welcome.”
She slid onto the buttery-soft leather seats. When he got in the other side, she reached over and squeezed his hand. He held on. “Where are we going?”
“To this new little French bistro near Broadway.”
“Hmm.”
“Do you like French food?”
“I eat everything. Grandpa’s made a few French dishes that I thought were great.”
They drove making small talk about the store, about her grandparents, about Hayley. It felt so special being with him like this, with no tension between them. Rather, with a kind of delicious tension between them.
At the restaurant, Finn handed the car keys to the valet and they walked up a brick pavement and went into a dimly lit reception area. The hostess brought them to the dining room and seated them in a small, private alcove. They sat opposite each other in the booth. He took her hand over the table. “You’re lovely tonight. Just lovely.”
“I’m a bit overdressed.”
He said, “You’re perfectly dressed. That’s what you wore to my birthday party.”
“You look handsome, too.” In this light, his almost mint green shirt accented the color of his eyes.
“Would you like a cocktail before dinner?”