by Kathryn Shay
“Millie, this is Mary Lanahan. From Shelley’s?”
“What’s up, Mary.”
“Have you found a location for your store yet?”
“My hypothetical store. I’m considering Elmira Heights now.”
“I’d like to see you today. I’ll come to wherever you are.”
“I’ll drive down to you. I need some chocolate and forgot to buy it.”
“There’s a fudge store right near here.”
“Yum. See you soon.”
Millie passed the fudge shop and the window tempted her enough to check it out. She entered Shelley’s smiling. Mary met her and brought her back to the office again. “I’ve been thinking about your bookstore. Is it important to you to start from scratch?”
“No, not at all. I might be able to swing…Mary, what are you implying?”
“I’m sixty-five years old. I’ve been running this place for years. My children are all grown and have no interest in being a bookseller. So, I think I want to sell the store to you. I know you’d love it as much as I do. And I’d ask to work part time.”
“I…I never expected this.”
“The location is perfect, I’m in the black but mostly because I own the property.” Unlike Finn who might lose the store because he was a renter. For a minute, she felt the loss.
“You don’t have to sell me on the place. So yes, I’d be interested. Would you mind if I took a closer look?”
“Go ahead. I’ll stay back here.”
Millie walked to the back door to find two storage rooms across from each other. Though Fitzgerald’s had storage in two big walk-in closets for inventoried books, these spaces were bigger. And for a smaller store. Hmm.
She checked out the bathroom and break room which were off- shoots of the office. They were comparable to Fitzgerald’s. Then she made her way into and through the bookstore proper.
Immediately she could see changes she’d make already. The store had so much character, as it had been built in the 1940s. She pictured a rare book section in a little unused nook. Maybe buy some movable stacks.
When she went back to Mary, she said, “What’s your asking price?”
“I don’t have one yet. I’ll talk to my finance guy and an appraiser if you’re serious about this.”
“I’m very interested. But I need some time to consider what this will mean for my life.”
Millie left the bookstore that might be hers someday. The thrill of realizing that dream at twenty-six raced through her. But the fact that this would mean a complete break from Finn dulled some of its shine.
* * *
Finn went to bed at one a.m. The last few days had been more than hectic. But one of his problems was solved. Finn’s bid for the building, in cash, no contingencies, was accepted by Jonathan Parks. So, Fitzgerald’s was safe.
But realization struck. Owning the store free and clear wasn’t as important as Millie. Unable to sleep, he got up and went to the computer. He started to write.
* * *
Fitz and Gardner had gone to the locker room after their shift. Distracted by how Molly kicked him out of her life a week ago, Fitz took longer to get his things in order and turn in his gun, and his partner had left.
Alone, he sat down on the bench and thought about Molly. He couldn’t believe he was going to lose her over not being able to commit to having kids. It just didn’t…
“Fuck you, Mason. You can’t pull out now.” The loud voice came from around the corner.
“I gotta. My wife found out what we were doin’ and she said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop.”
“Then she leaves. Once in the Blue Corner, always in the Blue Corner.”
Fitz had frozen on the spot and looked around wildly. This was the break they’d been waiting for. Acting on instinct, he stood quietly and headed to a less visible place where he wouldn’t be seen if they left. He’d almost gotten past the lockers when he heard, “What the fuck are you doing, Connors? Spying?”
“No,” he said turning around. “I—” He stopped.
Because he was staring down the barrel of a Glock.
* * *
He came up for air when he heard from the kitchen, “Finn, are you okay? It’s four a.m.”
He’d literally forgotten Alessia had stayed overnight for an early class tomorrow.
“Sorry, Ali, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
She put on coffee then came to sit at the table with a mug for him, too.
“Aren’t you going back to bed?”
“No, you and I are going to talk about what’s wrong.”
“I—”
“You said you wanted to be closer. So, spill. Is it the sale of the building?”
“No, I took care of that yesterday. I’m using savings and my father’s money to buy it.” He’d told her all about Ronan’s offer.
“That’s wonderful. Then why so torn? So sad?”
“I’m in love with Millie. We had two glorious weeks together then had a serious fight. She quit the store and left town.”
“That’s it in a nutshell, huh?”
“One more thing.” He told her about the pregnancy scare and his inability to commit to having children.
“Finn, when we were little, we used to play house. Have doll babies, be their mothers and fathers. When did you stop wanting kids?”
“The truth is, I don’t know if I want them. And I have no idea why.”
“Usually, big things like that are formed by the person’s environment and upbringing. You didn’t have a very good role model in Bridget and Albert.”
“No, I didn’t. But the same goes for Hayley, and she’s pregnant now.”
“Finn, Bridget coddled you. Preferred your company. Somewhat smothered you, I think. In many ways she still favors you.”
“What are you saying, Ali?”
“That you need to go to counseling to talk about having kids. Who knows, down deep, maybe you do want them, and won’t let that surface.”
“I can’t imagine talking about this stuff with a stranger.”
“It’s probably easier than talking to me or Hayley.”
“Still…”
“You know, Seth went to therapy so he and Julianne could be together.”
“Seth, the golden boy?”
“He’s more complicated than he comes off. For reasons I can’t share, he went and he’s doing so much better.” She smiled. “I think you’ll be better off, too.
* * *
Millie woke up late again after staying up to outline Mary Lanahan’s offer. She made coffee, took Scout out, then sat at the computer.
Mary’s offer had come in her email:
Mary would “sell” the store to Millie. Financing would be creative. Mary would hold the mortgage for five years, and Millie would put $10,000 down and have a monthly payment. Legally the store would be hers. If Millie couldn’t get a mortgage after five years, the contract was null.
Why had this happened to her? she wondered as she took pleasure in the spectacular leaves swaying in the trees outside the big front window. It was like a fairy godmother had blessed her with being in the right place at the right time, a benevolent seller and yes, an offer she couldn’t refuse.
The other side of the coin was that buying her own store, would mean she’d given up on Finn. After hours of rehashing in her mind what had happened between them, today was the day she had to decide.
On a whim, she clicked onto the Internet and called up Fitzgerald’s. The sight of it made her heart leap. Finn had worked with the website guy to present it as a sophisticated establishment but with a homey feeling.
She enlarged the left window on the screen. Erin must have changed the display. Millie had been teaching her how to design the important merchandising space. Transferring to the right, the second, smaller window had been changed, too.
And when she made this one bigger on the screen, Millie gasped.
The banner read Fitzgerald’s Supports the Community.
She swallowed hard. Beneath it, We match any donation from customers.
But most significantly, displayed below was a blown-up picture of the Broome Street Soup Kitchen, with Emerson and Finn posing in front of it.
Tears coursed down her cheeks. Finn had told his mother Fitzgerald’s was looking for a way to get donations, but this was different, this was exactly what she wanted from the beginning.
Sure, a cynic could think he did this to get her back, but she couldn’t fault his generosity. She stared at Finn through watery eyes. He seemed tired; she could see in the lines around his mouth and eyes. But he stood tall, shoulders back, presenting the best image he could.
Later that day, after several phone calls, Millie said, “Come on Scout. We gotta pack. We’re going home in the morning.”
* * *
Rested, at least, Finn left for the store at seven a.m. Though the air was crisp this early and he needed a jacket, he walked over, a regular occurrence these days. When he unlocked the back door and went inside, he sniffed. Coffee. Someone else was here at this hour? For a minute he tensed, then he murmured, “A burglar wouldn’t make coffee, idiot.”
“No,” he heard from the office. “She wouldn’t.” Millie came to stand in the doorway of the break room. “Hello, Finn.”
He bit the inside of his jaw to keep the emotion from surfacing. Finally, he jammed his hands in his pockets and said, “Hello, Millie.”
“Can I get you coffee?”
He’d follow her lead. “Yeah, sure.” She poured him a mugful, then sat at the table. Closer, he could see she was the worse for wear. Her hair was a messy tangle and her eyes bloodshot. Sleepy or upset he didn’t know. But she seemed calm.
“I look awful,” she said.
“You’re beautiful to me.”
“First off, I want you to know I’m not pregnant.”
“About that….”
“No, let me finish. I got here early because I couldn’t sleep last night after I decided to come home. I left the cottage at two a.m. The roads were free of traffic and I made it back in under four hours.”
He didn’t even taste the coffee he sipped. “Millie, I’m so sorry we had that fight. I was crazy about the store, and not thinking straight. But I hoped we’d hash things out the next day after we both calmed down.”
“We should have. I’m sorry I left. But I needed time alone. To think things through.”
“Did you?”
“Yes. But first, I need to know about Fitzgerald’s.”
“It sold.”
Her face fell.
Quickly, he added, “To me. I bought it outright with Ronan/Dad’s money and some of mine.”
A smiled bloomed on her face, making his heart clutch in his chest. What if he couldn’t fix this?
“I love you, Millie.” He’d never said the words to another woman.
“I love you, too.” She’d already told him but only once. And today they seemed fresh and more meaningful.
“I want to live with you.”
She seemed surprised.
“I want to marry you, eventually.”
Now she got teary.
“We’ll have to find a way to approach the children thing. Granted, my leaning has been not to have them, and I’m not going to tell you I’ll change for you.”
“Finn, I wouldn’t want that.”
“No, sweetheart let me finish. My cousin Alessia and I talked briefly two days ago when she was here, and she had an insight on all this. Her advice was to find out why I feel so confused about the issue. And to explore that. I’m sorry, that’s all I can offer at this point.”
She just watched him. “Finn, I came back to you. I knew we’d try to work this out. But you’re way ahead of me. I’ll stand by you while you go through the process. That’s enough for me.”
He stood and pulled her up out of the chair. Her arms looped around his neck. His enclosed her in a tight embrace. She went up on tiptoes and kissed him. But it wasn’t sexual. It was a kiss of promise and of hope and it was all Finn needed right now.
* * *
Epilogue
Molly McGuire and Fitz Connors sat out on the lake in a boat that belonged to his family. As did the cottage where they were staying.
He stared over at his wife. Their first anniversary arrived this weekend and they took a vacation from everything.
That day in the locker room, Fitz had been critically wounded in a sting involving the Blue Corner. Her father had been involved. But his injury had turned the tide for the two of them and she didn’t hold him responsible.
“What are you thinking?” Molly asked from where she sat in the shade, reading ON BEING A MOTHER.
“Just about us. And how I got hurt.”
“It was horrid. But it did bring about her.” She touched her rounded belly. “Come over, she’s kicking.”
Fitz crossed to the bench and dropped down close. He put his cheek on her belly. “Kick for daddy.”
The word Daddy used to bother Molly, as her father had gotten caught up in the Blue Corner sting. Now, though, she relished its new meaning.
“You staying home made a big difference, Fitz.”
He’d committed to six months paternity leave, as had Molly. Both were delighted about the coming months.
He leaned over and kissed his wife. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Fitz, so much.”
That was enough now for both of them.
* * *
Millie looked over at Finn. “I—I don’t know what to say.”
“How’s my book?”
“It’s wonderful. Your dirty cop angle is original and suspenseful. I didn’t guess the ending.”
“What about the rest?”
“You mean the romance?”
“Yeah.”
“Is there a message in that?”
“Well, I got a ways to go, but I think I’m going to get to where Fitz did.”
Millie grinned. “I’m so glad, Finn.”
He kissed her.
“But about those love scenes?” she added. “I think they could use some…fleshing out.”
He tugged her even closer.
“And more of a woman’s point of view.”
“So, what are you saying, Mil?”
She nosed into him. “That I’ll help you with your research.”
He laughed out loud. “You’re on, babe.”
* * * * *
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Author’s Note
* * *
I took a risk writing The Casella Cousins: Finn by including Finn’s novel about Molly McGuire. But midway through the series, I thought it was time to experiment. Her story pulled at me, and one reason I wanted it in was because the paragraphs showed a whimsical side of Finn that Millie brought out. Still, I waited for my first editor to weigh in. She liked it and so did I. I hope the passages didn’t take you out of the story.
Finn was a difficult character to write. In previous books, he came across as staid and introverted that something had to happen to make him…more interesting. That something was Millie. All along he butted heads with her, but when his feelings became apparent (they started a long time before he admitted them), he changed. For the better. I’m not sure if you know any introverted people, but it’s very hard to break through with them. Regardless, Finn proved to be an excellent brother, a good cousin and yes, a sexy romantic partner. I felt I knew him so much better at the end.
Millie was a doll all the way through the story. She seemed to just develop on the pages. She was always strong, except for her tragic flaw, loving Finn, but she handles that for eight years. When their relationship changes, she moves into it with grace and aplomb. Millie is a perfect granddaughter, a good friend, a hard-working employee with a creative mind. I have to say, when she gets the book
store offer in Corning (my hometown), even I was fearful she’d take it. Instead, she risked everything for Finn. Much of the ending of the story came as a surprise to me.
The series is at the halfway point and I hope you’re enjoying it. Look for Alessia next. She really deserves happiness and I intend to give it to her.
Best,
Kathy
Visit or contact Kathryn at www.kathrynshay.com
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