From her spot across the room, Shannon thought the fading light made him look vulnerable and for just a second felt compelled to concede that maybe she hadn’t been the only one confused and hurting.
Shrugging away the discomfort Nick continued on. “The very idea of marriage at that time was a joke and nothing more. Believe me when I tell you she was no more thrilled about being sold off to the highest bidder than I was.”
With a bitter laugh he added, “We were both completely furious. After the announcement was leaked we never even met together. Although we’d known each other for years, she and I had nothing in common and would probably have never even spoken to one another if left to ourselves. It was a disaster waiting to happen.”
Long moments of silence see-sawed back and forth between them as Shannon recalled the crushing pain she’d felt upon finding out about his real life, while Nick remembered with detailed specificity the horror he’d felt as he came to accept that his life, at that time anyway, was not his own.
Shrugging with acknowledgement that it had all been an out-of-control disaster the words kept on coming. “And then I did what any self-respecting guy whose life was careening out of control does. I started drinking. At first just to blur the edges but within weeks, anesthetizing myself with alcohol was like a full time job.” he said in a tone dripping with self-loathing and regret.
“Six weeks later Jules and Ned stepped in right quick and I got it together; simply took control of my life and choices. I didn’t care about the business deal which had led to all of it and didn’t like the direction the company had been going. Once I hit bottom so to speak the only way out really and truly was up. I’d lost myself for a time but after that it was all my way or the highway. If I had no choice but to be the head of a huge global behemoth then it was going to be on my terms.”
Moving from the window and turning back towards her so she could see the truth from his words reflected in his expression. “I’d been asked to sacrifice everything and I did, for the greater good, because that was the bullshit I was telling myself then. As I took control the first step was to end that sham of an engagement and then focus like a laser on making Barrett a company which at least didn’t turn my stomach. And through all of that, over all the years to come I knew in my heart then just like now that there is no light without you. You are my light Shannon.”
She realized that while she didn’t condone his actions and the horrible way he’d treated her, she’d only ever focused on her part of the story. She never considered that a different reality might have been his. Something totally opposite to the one she’d had festering in her imagination all these years.
In her mind’s eye, out of a feeling of self-preservation, she had formed an opinion of him as a self-involved rich kid who wanted money and position far more than he wanted her. In Shannon’s narrative he had simply chosen wealth over her; she never considered that what he might have chosen was to sacrifice himself in order to spare her from something ugly which only he understood.
The thought warmed her more than it should and she was shocked when a flush of sensual heat started in the balls of her feet moving in intensifying waves up her body till it bloomed in glorious color on her cheeks as her body shrugged off years of hibernation and quickened with a primal longing so strong it made her dizzy.
Nick was nearly poleaxed by her surprising response to his words as he watched in utter fascination while a pretty pink blush moved up her neck to spread across her face.
Before he could get control of himself he reached out and for effect, gently traced his fingertips around her pursed lips. He remembered in exquisite detail what it had been like to taste those lips because long, intense, sultry kissing had been their secret guilty pleasure.
They had danced around each other when first they met and by the time there was any physical contact they had already become deeply involved emotionally. For months they discreetly fed the growing attachment each felt for the other.
During their time together Nick was the de facto ‘go to guy’ in all situations where decisions were needed; something which seemed to occur not just daily but practically by the hour. Shannon hired on as a translator where her intuitive abilities which made her highly attuned to nuances, body language, inflection and regional eccentricities, made her skills with language highly valuable. Like joined puzzle pieces the two of them complimented the other. Where Nick went, so did Shannon. The months sped by as they worked together during the days while becoming closer and closer when they retreated to their project compound after hours. While thought of as a couple, the circumstances did not allow for anything as formal as a date. Nor did it allow for the usual boy meets girl mating ritual. Hell, it wasn’t like they could go for a drive and park in some lover’s lane, making out like college kids do. Instead they’d nurtured a bond which built slowly by being thrust together day by day; and then quietly and discreetly, when they could, let that closeness lead to a growing intimacy.
Truth was, she had been completely inexperienced and he had acted the way any vigorous twenty-five year old guy would; taking her on an erotic adventure that, judging by the way the temperature in the room seemed to go up when they were together, she could not forget any more than he could.
What started with simple hand-holding and quiet touches led to a treasure of stolen kisses which deepened the physical attraction. By the time they actually became more intimate, the two had taken the joining of lips in a simple kiss to a sensuous feast for the senses.
Kissing her had been almost sacred and which in the ensuing years Nick had done precious little of, preferring to conduct his liaisons with a minimum of extraneous effort on his part. In his mind, kissing was incredibly personal and personal did not have a place in his life ever since that day when he had savaged the love he’d shared with Shannon and destroyed himself in her eyes forever.
Yeah, he’d had sex and at times lots of it but his emotions were walled off; he never gave more of himself than was necessary to effect immediate sexual gratification. His libido was one thing. His heart, another.
He didn’t do romance. Oh, he was well taken care of where his carnal needs were concerned and chose his partners with a careful eye to practicality but his emotions were never engaged. The dominant male in him strode through life with an arrogant self-assurance especially where the opposite sex was concerned. He wanted what he wanted and all without the complication of emotion. After Shannon, that just wasn’t ever going to happen.
And yet here, now, with her sitting right in front of him; those amazing turquoise eyes of hers shooting off sparks of resentment mixed with something else he couldn’t quite pin down and those sweet lips pouting so prettily over his macho-handed takeover of her life, he wanted nothing more than to lean forward and let his tongue swipe across her seductive mouth before closing his lips over hers.
When her tongue snaked out to moisten her bottom lip he almost lost it. For a second, the need gripping him to gather this wounded heavenly creature in his arms and protect her forever nearly drove him mad. Then he remembered that he had to settle down and see where this was going. She so obviously mistrusted of him and who could blame her? He’d earned her caution and resistance.
Even with the amazing connection between them unexpectedly sputtering back to life he could still see the pain from their past hovering over them like a dark cloud. Hell, life had handed him a second chance. One he did not deserve he grimly countered but one which he intended to grab and make the most of with all the might and power at his disposal.
His mind set, Nick relaxed. If he could run a giant global business and have more money than any human being could ever possibly need, surely winning back the affection of this beautiful temptress before him would be a no-brainer.
She didn’t like what had become of her neat and tidy life. With everything in its place, no loose ends to sneak up and surprise her, no emotional entanglements. Easy, simple, uncomplicated. That’s how she liked it and yet she h
ad to admit that the tied up and buttoned down way she lived was also her armor against ever having to feel as she had after Nick cast her aside.
She wasn’t in complete denial she sniffed to herself. The quick intake of air accompanied by a slight squirm of discomfiture earned his attention. The hot, insistent scrutiny he turned on her hit the mark because it revealed what was really bothering her.
No square corners and easy answers but a messy hodgepodge of emotion, all of which were overwhelming individually and nearly catastrophic when combined. She did everything she could not to respond to his gaze and yet she knew that he was already attuned to the quickening flutter of her heart rate and the rosy hued blush that had warmed its way from that place deep in her core thrumming to life the instant she recognized him on the path, up her exposed neck and across her face. Refusing to surrender to his eyes was a serendipitous response but stalling for time while she tried frantically to get some control over her emotions was all she was capable of at the moment. That the power and ferocity of his perusal shook her so profoundly coupled with knowing that he could probably see right through to her very soul was making her unhinged.
CHAPTER EIGHT
As if arriving on cue to break the tension which had descended upon them, Shannon’s cell phone rang. Automatically reaching for her bag to retrieve the phone she looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Jules calling.
“I should take this.” she murmured letting her eyes fall away from his lest he see even further into her thoughts. Everything was moving too fast and time being what it was, she was starting to experience ever increasing twinges of pain letting her know that the initial dose of pain medication she’d been given was beginning to wear off. She just wanted to take this call and then maybe have a bit to eat and hopefully fall into bed once the next round of meds took over.
An easy solution found her suggesting he browse through the delivery menus she kept in a kitchen drawer and order something easy and light for them to have as dinner. This way she could ensure a little privacy so she could talk to her friend; after all it wasn’t like she could get up and excuse herself from the room. Now that she understood that Jules and Nick were siblings she felt it necessary to explain this crazy set of circumstances to Jules herself without Nick involved.
When Nick wandered off in search of the menus Shannon took the call. “Hi Jules.” she answered with a great deal more calm than she felt.
A while later, the call concluded and dinner on the way, Shannon had time to ponder what she’d just learned after talking to her friend.
Jules’ silence when she launched into an almost incomprehensible explanation that she and her brother in fact knew each other was met with total silence so she could tell right away that something was amiss. Shannon hadn’t let Jules get a word in edgewise, but even so nothing she said seemed to come as a huge surprise to Nick’s sister. What came next however, once Shannon let Jules jump in to the conversation, did.
A tearful Jules, apologizing over and over for Shannon’s unfortunate injuries, informed her that she had put two and two together when she’d spied Shannon’s tattoo. Recalling the occasion which had taken place only recently, Shannon did remember how quiet and reflective Jules had been after hearing her tale of the folk lore connection to the tattoo’s symbol.
Jules spoke of her adoration for her older brother and how she had seen the very same marking on his hip years ago. When she realized the tattoos matched, well the romantic notion of helping star-crossed lovers was too much for Jules to resist. As the call ended Jules told her friend that Ned was furious with her for meddling and didn’t understand why she hadn’t just given Shannon and Nick the information about the other and then let them figure out what would be best for them both.
That Ned was being so unyielding and refusing to see the romantic foolishness at the heart of Jules matchmaking made Shannon feel terrible. Wondering if as Nick’s oldest friend he might know some of his true feelings bothered her more than she was comfortable with. Once again, doubts and insecurities flooded her awareness for the scars left in the wake of long ago hurts still burbled to the surface causing Shannon to doubt her place in Nick’s life. What if Ned knew about his friend’s year-long affair and agreed that the girl had no place in the life of a Barrett? Is that why he was peeved at his wife, because he knew that Nick would not welcome her appearance back in his life?
A little voice in her heart begged her to not judge, to not let fear erase the enormous chance to alter the future which their unexpected encounter afforded.
Now that Shannon knew the tortured hero brother Jules clearly adored was one and the same with the man who broken her heart, she didn’t know quite what to say. What form of serendipity or kismet had brought these two back together after all these years? It was all so unbelievable and yet was actually happening.
Shannon thought back over the many references to her brother and her family which Jules had shared with Shannon over the course of their friendship. She remembered Jules saying that her son had been named for her brother and since the boy’s name is Domenic, Shannon hadn’t picked up on the ‘Nick’ connection assuming her brother’s name was also Domenic.
Other revelations shifted through Shannon’s memory as she recalled Jules lamenting the tremendous personal sacrifice her brother had made on behalf of she and her mother; how this god-like older brother seemed to stride the globe like some all-powerful leading man in a movie about duty, family, the stranglehold which old money exerts and the awesome power it corrupts with.
So the serious, brooding big brother was one and the same with the man who had for eight long years had been silently buried in the shadows of her heart. Oh my god.
Nick took advantage of Shannon being preoccupied on the phone to do just what she had asked; order something for them to eat from a local establishment only minutes from her home. After making that call he spent the next few minutes checking to see if the arrangements he had put in place earlier for the delivery of medical supplies was going as planned. He wanted everything on the doorstep before noon tomorrow so he could focus on her physical needs while they took baby steps in maybe finding a brighter path for the future.
Looking at the time he made a mental note that food was indeed a necessity and soon because before too much longer he would be giving Shannon a double dose, per doctor’s orders, of the mild pain killers prescribed so she could get a good night’s sleep. Uninterrupted by discomfort.
He also took the opportunity to quickly call Ned to ask if he would arrange to have his belongings packed from the hotel where he’d been staying and have the suitcase brought to him since he wasn’t leaving Shannon’s side any time soon.
That phone call had come with quite a few revelations as Ned shared a fascinating tale with Nick about his wife’s confession; the tattoo sighting and her sisterly attempt at matchmaking. Nick could tell his brother-in-law was less than thrilled with Jules’ meddling so he quickly and efficiently set Ned’s mind at ease by stating quite simply and most emphatically that he owed his sister a huge debt of intense gratitude for being a meddling romantic and why. By the end of the call Nick had all but laid out his grand plan to Ned for winning back Shannon’s affections and was openly declaring that he’d loved her for years and would only love this one woman for all the days of his life. If he couldn’t have her he wanted no one else in her place.
For two men who had been friends for years and now brothers-in-law for life, this uncharacteristic reveal of emotion and feelings was profoundly uncommon to say the least. Nick had no doubt when Ned got off that phone that he understood full well that the gob-smacked, head over heels in love feeling that Jules and Ned shared was exactly how he and Shannon had been once upon a time. Nick had made it perfectly clear that he would gladly give up all that he had and all that he’d become if it meant the feisty spitfire with the tumbled blonde locks and vivid turquoise eyes would let even a scintilla of that initial emotion back in to her life.
Not to
o much longer after that dinner arrived as each of them had been deep in thought after their phone calls, processing a flood of information.
Shannon was flagging fast and ate slowly from the tray table he’d set up next to the sofa. Nick watched over her like a hawk and noted the circles forming beneath her eyes made all the more evident by her flawlessly pale complexion.
Finally having enough Shannon loosed a deep sigh and sagged back against the sofa cushions. Although her headache had vanished from earlier as the result of the shot she’d received, the tension and anxiety of the day’s events were tap dancing on her brain making the slowly building discomfort from her injuries get the better of her.
Quietly removing the remnants of their meal, Nick set about tidying things up, keeping an eye on Shannon and carefully laying out in his own overworked mind how best to navigate the minefield of negative emotions they were surrounded by.
“I need to use the bathroom.” she declared in a fragile, overwhelmed voice which only served to magnify the vulnerable state she was in. Nick realized this was going to present a challenge since the bathroom walker wouldn’t be here until tomorrow and he was pretty damn sure she wasn’t going to let him hover over her while she took care of her needs.
Shannon too seemed to realize the conundrum and quickly informed him that the small guest bath behind the kitchen had a sturdy knee wall that she could use for balance without him having to do any more than simply get her in position.
Relived that there was a simple solution it took Nick only moments to once again, scoop her up in his massive arms and stride confidently in the direction of the small bathroom. She was right about the space and after standing her up carefully on her one good foot, he took a second to reach out and give the nearby towel bar a study yank. If she was going to rely on it for support he wanted to be sure she’d be safe. Relieved that she could handle things from there he backed out of the small space after she assured him that no, she would not put her foot down and yes, she would call him the second she was ready to leave the room.
The Billionaire's Second Chance Page 9