“Sex isn’t nearly enough for me either, little one. It never was and never will be.”
Shannon sat there in silent suspense not really knowing what to expect next. She felt dreadful that she’d gotten carried away and then freaked out like a scared virgin, afraid of the wicked beast her wanton behavior had unleashed.
“You ask what I want. Where I see all this is leading. I should have said this sooner but since the party, everything has been moving so fast.” And with that Nick pulled half a grimace making Shannon remember that this was happening to both of them.
Fixing her with a steady look he continued holding her on his lap, his hands stroking from time to time up and down her arms, Shannon listened to her heart and gave him her full attention and regard. A little voice inside her was whispering a hopeful prayer, ‘Please let everything be okay.’ Hearing the sound of her deepest thoughts expressed so clearly helped Shannon find the confidence and faith she needed to stay where she was and trust the cowboy pirate staring so intently into her soul.
“This is not about the sex, although we would both be telling a terrible lie if we pretended that what we feel isn’t as powerful and overwhelming now, as it was before.”
He waited for her agreement which to Shannon’s credit she gave without hesitation; looking back at him in wide-eyed wonder with a small confirming shake of her head acknowledging that yes, indeed, she also felt the staggering power of their mutual attraction.
Grateful for her total lack of artifice and willingness to be honest, Nick smiled gently, leaning in to rest his forehead against hers. From this position he could feel her shallow breathing and sense her confusion which he hoped to set at ease in short order.
“This doesn’t seem like a good time for beating around the bush,” Nick said lightly when he pulled back, “so it’s my time to be brave and fearless … to tell you what’s in my heart. You deserve that and so much more sweetheart.” he added in a strained, choked up voice.
“Simply put, I love you. Always have, always will and nothing could ever change that. I am totally to blame for the eight years of hell we’ve both endured and I tell you from the bottom of my heart that I will spend the rest of my life doing whatever is necessary to make it better for you, for us.”
Wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, Shannon relaxed into his frame laying a shaking hand on his chest. She needed to stay connected to him; feeling his strong heart thumping steadily under her touch grounded her and conjured up a sensation of coming together that she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Nodding as though he had heard her thoughts Nick just said, “Yes.” as he let the moment speak for itself.
“I want it all Shannon. The way it was. Every tingling, moony-eyed sensation. I want you in my life and yes, in my bed. I want to wake up every morning and know you are there by my side. Where you belong, by the way!” he said as his fingers tightened where he held her.
“I want to talk with you about our days and make plans for the future. I want to be there when you laugh and help you when you cry. I don’t ever want you to think you’re alone again, little one.”
Nick’s heart melted just a bit when her bright eyes showed the beginning of tears welling. It was she who was brave and fearless he thought as his humbled awareness of her fragility where he was concerned hit home with a vengeance.
“Shannon, my love. I adore you. For me, this is forever. As in always. The end-game is happily ever after and all which that implies. Fancy dress, big wedding, quick trip to Vegas, shorts and t-shirts on the beach, whatever you want, sweetness’.”
Two, big, fat tears rolled down Shannon’s cheeks.
“I want the full Mr. and Mrs. future where I spoil you rotten and you hush that sassy mouth and let me.” Nick added with a wink. “If I take over, kick me in the shins and tell me to cut it out!” he added bringing a tiny giggle and shy upward glance from the goddess warming his lap.
“This is for real Shannon. For keeps. I want it all. The wife, the commitment the future we were always meant to have. Don’t you want it too? All of it? The house with a killer kitchen for your personal chef, who by the way just happens to be your husband! A garden full of anything your green thumb desires? A house full of love and kids along with a suburban mommy car in the driveway. Maybe even a dog!” he ended in laughter.
Shannon had been dreamily following along as she took in Nick’s fervent accounting of where he wanted them to end up. Everything was close approaching perfect until the word kids invaded her brain. The tears which had receded came back with alarming speed when the image of Nick and his children appeared in her mind’s eye.
The tightening in her chest told Shannon she had to tell him and she had to do it now. There would never be a better time. He was opening himself up to her, showing a vulnerability that whispered louder than any shouted words ever could. She had to tell him about the life they’d created and how losing that spark of existence had almost extinguished the light in her soul. He deserved to know the whole truth if the future he was laying out was to have any hope.
It was now or never Shannon thought as she opened her mouth to speak. “Nick, there’s something I need to ………” and that was as far as she got before he put two fingers against her lips to effectively silence what she had been about to say.
“No Shannon. You don’t need to say anything. There have already been too many words between us. Words have gotten us nowhere. My terrible words when we parted, some of the painful things we’ve said to each other the last couple of days. It has to stop here and now. Don’t think baby, just feel.”
Her mind did a series of impressive gymnastic moves as she considered what he was trying to say.
“No, I don’t want to have just sex with you either. I want to feel what we had before. When the time is right we are going to make love and when that happens you’ll know without words how right we are together.”
Her eyes were glued to his face. “Yes, I want to marry you but know this Shannon, when you are ready, when you come to me and say Yes, that will be as sacred, if not more so, than any ceremony or pledge could ever be. Our joining in body and spirit will be the beginning of our true marriage, little. Have no doubt about that.”
He pulled her close then, faces in each other’s neck; arms clutched tightly around the other and just held on. Shannon’s heart was thumping wildly as she considered what he’d said. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with Nick having cut off what she’d been going to say but she knew he was also right about the words having driven a wedge between them
He’d surprised her in more ways than she could wrap her mind around. Whatever trepidation she’d been nursing about motives or where their new relationship was headed had been swept away by the profound and reverent way he had spoken of their coming together.
“I know you need time to think and while my manhood is trying to override letting you decide what’s best for you, sorry about that by the way,” he shrugged, “nothing happens that you aren’t one hundred percent okay with. Can you trust me on this Shannon? I hope so,” he added “because you have my heart and my soul in your hands. It’s all up to you.”
“Oh Nick,” Shannon sighed, “I’m sorry for being such an emotional mess. I have faith in you.” she whispered as her hand went back to his chest where she could find his heartbeat again.
“Even when I thought everything between us was lost….there was still a glimmer alive deep inside me. You spoke your truth. Mine is, that all this time I secretly clung to the dream that you would somehow find your way back to me. I like that saying, ‘dreams are wishes the heart makes’ because I see how true it is in my life. Thank you for telling me what is in your heart.”
With that Shannon melted against him in complete trust; feeling herself open at long last to the real possibility of a future with him.
Nick was so overcome with feelings that he struggled to not shed some tears of his own. They’d survived the storm and now that some light was shining he w
as deeply and profoundly grateful for the forgiving heart and loving nature this extraordinary woman was gifting him. No way was he going to screw this up.
His mind was thinking, “Thank fucking god.’ Although he knew the irreverence was overkill, it seemed to strike just the right chord of relief inside him nonetheless.
After a bit Nick finally eased Shannon off his lap. Thankful for the chance to let his ever present hard-on get some breathing room, Nick turned his full attention to the lovely woman who had just given him back his heart. With a small chuckle he thought, ‘Thanks nephew. Thanks for that,’ as he remembered Dom’s earlier words about having lost his heart. Damn if the kid hadn’t been right. He said just to ask Shannon for it back and she would give it to him. Out of the mouths of babes.
Her hair had become a mess from their fevered make-out session so Nick lifted able fingers to some flyaway curls, tucking them neatly behind an ear as he searched his heart for what he wanted to say next.
“I want to share your bed Shannon, from tonight.” His bold statement of intent caused a blush to steal across her features. “Not to force the issue sweetheart, but because I don’t want you sleeping apart from me ever again. We’re alright, aren’t we?” he asked
“It’s for real this time, baby. What just happened here, and over the past few days, we’ve started over…haven’t we?” Nick asked showing a bit of uncharacteristic anxiety as he waited for her answer.
“Yes Nick. I think alright is a good way to describe where we are but isn’t sleeping in the same bed just asking for trouble?” Shannon quickly added, “I know you’re not rushing me!” when she saw him shaking his head to negate any trepidation she was feeling.
Nick stood and started backing away from her when she reached out a hand to his and held on fast. She didn’t need any space but she did need more time and she desperately searched for a way to express that to him.
“I want you to stay with me Nick; it just seems like an awful lot to ask. You know ….” she shrugged as her eyes glanced at the erection still pressing against his zipper. “I think I’m afraid of what all this means.”
Nick squeezed the small hand which had slotted so perfectly in his much larger one and presented her with a knowing smile. “I’m a big boy Shannon. Clearly!” he added with a sparkle in his eyes. “I can handle a bit of sexual frustration if it means holding you in my arms through the night. You are safe with me, love. I just want you near. That’s all.”
He pulled her to her feet saying, “This is about you and me and the future we are building. We did everything wrong the first time and I’m not about to let that happen again! You are about to be wooed and courted, as is befitting the incredible woman you are, so get used to it!” he chuckled.
Shannon laughed at that and presented him with a huge grin. “Wooed and courted, huh?” she said in a teasing voice. “I like the way that sounds Mr. Barrett. I’m not quite sure what wooing and courting entails but it sounds yummy!”
And just like that, one more time, a smile and some playful banter set everything right. As had become the norm for these two, the crutches were instantly forgotten as he swung her up into his arms and headed confidently toward her bedroom with a tremendous smile on his face and a sense of everything being right with the world lighting up his being.
It didn’t take long for Shannon to go through her nightly ablutions while Nick gave her space and privacy to take care of her needs. She warmed at the thought that he stayed nearby and prayed that taking this huge step forward was a good idea for them both. She wasn’t sure why she still hesitated but she knew herself well enough to realize that she should just relax and let things unfold as they may. She’d know when she was ready to take that final leap of faith and was content to let her heart and intuition set the pace.
When it was time to climb into her huge bed with the massive sleigh head and footboard, Shannon was relieved to see that Nick had lowered the lights and pulled back the covers so all she had to do was get herself comfortable. Once she was in place he joined her under the sumptuous linens and without hesitation pulled her into him so her back was plastered against his front.
“Sweet dreams, little one.” Nick whispered in her ear a second before kissing the side of her face, just barely touching her mouth.
Exhaustion took over and as Shannon started drifting to sleep she enjoyed the feeling of his bare chest pressed against her back. She had missed this; missed sharing even this small intimacy and as sleep over took her she murmured dreamily just above a whisper, “This feels right.”
Nick couldn’t have agreed more but kept his silence as she drifted off, content to feel her nestled against him while her unforgettable scent invaded his senses. Sometime later he joined her in sleep with a happy smile lingering on his face.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was normal for Nick to wake with the dawn. What wasn’t normal was finding a soft, warm female body molded against him. The instant recognition that it was Shannon snuggled up against him with her sexy bottom providing the perfect cradle for his raging morning hard-on made the moment unforgettable. He planned to never wake up without her at his side ever again. That thought warmed him head to toe as he lay there for a very long time luxuriating in the simple, delightful pleasure he was feeling.
Before too long though he knew it was time to switch gears since the erection he hoped would calm down just kept insisting on itself in a way that was testing Nick’s control. He quickly discovered how many ways one could count backwards from a hundred as he attempted to avert his body’s attention away from the enticement Shannon’s natural heat and allure was sending to his brain.
The first rays of light had crept across the ceiling when he gingerly eased out of the bed they’d shared and headed for the bathroom. It was early still, he thought. Too damn early for her to be disturbed so, ever the gentleman, Nick moved silently through the motions of getting ready for the day.
He’d decided on a quick run through the canyon to release some pent up energy. Anything to take his mind off wanting to crawl back under the covers and strip her of the bland nightshirt and boy short knickers she had worn to bed. After feasting on her naked beauty he would then cover every inch of exposed skin with his mouth and tongue in an endless oral indulgence that could only end with his face pressed between her open thighs while he licked her slit, tongued the throbbing little nub hidden in her delicate folds and brought her to a mind-blowing orgasm that would rock his little lady’s world.
Yeah. He needed to run like the damn devil this morning before his thoughts sent him up in flames. As he headed for the door Nick paused and considered that he had best leave a note in case she awakened and didn’t find him in her bed. Things were better between them yes, but still raw and tentative. He didn’t pretend to understand the mind of a woman, what man could, but he did know with some surety that her mind would go into cranky overdrive with reawakened fears and hesitation if he wasn’t there as she would have expected.
She needed reassurance and he intended to give her as much support in that area as possible. He wasn’t going anywhere and she had nothing to fear but he knew that she still questioned how he could have just walked away from her before. Nick was going to make damn sure that that was one wrong he righted every day for the rest of his life.
Spying the open door to her home office down the hallway next to the front landing, Nick stalked off in that direction in search of paper and pen to leave a note.
Stepping into the room he located and headed immediately to the long cluttered desk which ran under a wide set of windows lit up by the morning’s rays. Spotting a pad of sticky notes and a pen Nick dashed off a quick explanation that he was off for a run and ripped it from the stack. Tossing the pen aside he caught sight of something on the tall ceiling to floor bookshelf next to the window. His attention drawn, Nick turned away from the desk and walked to the bookshelf.
There was a strange buzzing sound in his brain when he got close enough to see that wh
at had grabbed his attention was a large footed, tear-drop shaped apothecary jar filled with extra-long vines of black and red twisted licorice. Did his jaw hit the floor? It might have, Nick winced inwardly.
Thoughts of the canisters, boxes and bags of butterscotch candies scattered throughout his day to day life and what that said about his emotional well-being or lack thereof assailed his mind. Seeing the synchronicity of this reality reflected back in Shannon’s day to day life hit him squarely in the center of his chest.
Releasing a pithy swear Nick shook himself and resolved yet again to fix the mess he’d made of their lives.
Feeling as though he was intruding into Shannon’s private thoughts, since that’s exactly what those golden candies strewn throughout his life represented, Nick headed for the door with the sticky note still stuck to his fingers. A series of easels were placed in the corner behind the door with what looked like storyboards on them.
Unable to contain his curiosity Nick moved closer to examine the boards and was delighted with what he discovered. Each board represented an event that she was working on. Domenic’s Cowboy Party was represented and he stood for long moments exploring the board that was covered with pictures and pieces of fabric. There were drawings of sets and props and notes about proper placement. There were shots of the actors she’d hired to portray Wild West folks and even a piece of the patterned cowboy paper products for the kids. It was all too charming and Nick was enchanted with how she set about creating a vision for her events.
Two boards set side by side were for charity events with different themes that involved an emcee and a stage set-up. The last board looked like a work in progress with a French Parisian theme that was equally as over-the-top as Dom’s party had been. Curious, Nick leaned in closer to read the tag that held the party’s information. It was going to be a Sweet 16 Party for one Amelia Spencer Al-Alain to be held in December.
The Billionaire's Second Chance Page 21