‘You’re upsetting yourself.’
‘I’m not upsetting myself! You’re upsetting me.’
‘I don’t want to do that. I…I never want to do that.’ With an effort, Matt pushed himself away from her and returned to sit on the sofa. Like a slow motion sequence in a film, every mistake he had made with her rose up with reproving clarity.
He had been attracted to her, and without a second thought he had seduced her into his bed. He had accepted the gift of her virginity without bothering to question the devil in the detail, and then, when she had suggested remaining in New York, he had run a mile. Conditioned to identify himself through his work, and accustomed to always ensuring that it was placed at the top of the agenda, he had reacted to her reasonable requests about where their relationship was heading by backing away.
To compound his sins he had greeted news of her pregnancy with suspicion—only to further raise her guard and drive her away by insisting on trying to determine what she should do and what she shouldn’t.
Had he even once thought about stepping back and taking stock of how he actually felt?
Not in the habit of doubting his ability to manage situations, Matt was shaken to the core at the realisation that he had blown it. She might tremble the second he got near her, but a physical response wasn’t enough. It had never been enough. And yet he knew that if he told her that now she wouldn’t believe a word he said, and he couldn’t blame her.
Tess looked at him uneasily. For once his deepening silence didn’t seem to indicate anything ulterior. He wasn’t even looking at her. He was staring into space and his expression was unreadable.
She took a hesitant step away from the window, but it was only when she was standing in front of him that he raised his eyes to hers.
‘I’ve screwed up,’ he said bluntly. He raked his fingers into his hair and lowered his eyes. ‘Of course I’m not going to blackmail you into anything.’
‘You’re not?’
‘Sit. Please? And that’s not a command. It’s a request.’
Tess, caught off guard by this strangely unsettling and subdued side to him, perched primly on the edge of the sofa, ready and willing to take flight at a moment’s notice—although her hands wanted to reach out, and she wanted to lace her fingers through his. Frankly, she had to resist the powerful urge to do anything necessary to bring a smile to his lips, even if that smile was laced with cynicism. This was not a Matt she was accustomed to seeing, and it disconcerted her.
‘You think I’m trying to take advantage of you? I’m not.’ Matt felt as though he was standing on the edge of a precipice, arms outstretched, about to fling himself over the side in the wild hope that he would be caught by a safety net. He also felt very, very calm. ‘I’ve done so many things wrong that I don’t even know where to begin to try and explain myself, and I fully understand that you probably won’t believe a word I say to you. Frankly, I wouldn’t blame you. I entered into a relationship with you for the sex—pure and simple. I’ve been bitten once, and I’ve lived my life since then making damn sure that I wouldn’t be bitten again. Every woman I’ve ever been with since Catrina has been like Vicky. It was easy never to become involved. My personal relationships were effectively, just extensions of my working life, with sex thrown in.’
Tess, all ears, found that she was holding her breath. With his walls breaking down, this was a vulnerable Matt laying his soul bare. She knew that instinctively, and she wasn’t going to break the spell. Every word wrenched out of him was like manna to her ears. If she wasn’t being hopelessly enthralled, she would be slightly ashamed.
‘I should have questioned what it was I saw in you when you came along, but I didn’t. I’ve always had absolute, unwavering control in my personal life. How could I expect that what I had with you would be any different?’
‘And it was? Really? How different?’ Tess cleared her throat and blushed sheepishly. ‘It’s important, you know—to…um…let it all out.’
‘In that case, it’s very kind of you to let me talk,’ Matt murmured wryly. ‘Very different, in answer to your question. You made me a very different person. I did things with you that were all firsts—although at the time I hardly recognised it. I stopped work for you. Yes, I went to meetings—I organised deals, I met with the usual lawyers and bankers and hedge fund directors—but for the first time in my life I couldn’t wait to get back to the apartment. I managed to persuade myself that that was because my relationship with my daughter was finally beginning to take shape. Of course that was part of the reason. You were the other part. You made leaving work behind easy.’
Tess allowed herself a little smile of pure joy, because whatever came out in the wash, nothing would ever erase the warm pleasure that his admission was giving her, and like a kid in a toy shop she didn’t want the experience to end. When would she have the opportunity to visit that place again?
‘When you asked to prolong our relationship, I reacted out of habit and instinct. Both told me to walk away. I didn’t bother to question it, and once it had been done pride entered the equation. But you never left my head. It was as though you had become stuck there. No matter what I did, you followed me everywhere I went—a silent, nagging reminder of what I’d thrown away.’
‘But you would never have said a word if I hadn’t shown up in your office and told you that I was pregnant,’ Tess said ruefully.
‘Wouldn’t I?’ Matt caught her eyes and held her gaze. ‘I’m inclined to think that I would have. I’m inclined to think that I would have been right here, in this place, doing what I’m doing now, even if you hadn’t made life so much easier for me by falling pregnant.’
‘But it was unplanned. You were furious. You blamed me!’
‘I’ve never had any lessons in being in love. How was I to know what to say and how to react?’
‘Being in love?’ Her voice trembled, and her hands trembled too as he took them in his.
He stroked her fingers with his thumb. Sincerity blazed from his eyes. ‘If I’d ever known true love,’ he admitted gruffly, ‘I might have recognised the symptoms. But nothing prepared me for you, Tess. Looking back, I can see that Catrina was just an expectation I fulfilled without thinking too hard about it. You were the unexpected. You crash-landed into my life and everything changed overnight. I didn’t come here to take you away against your will, and I’m sorry that that was the impression I ended up giving.’
‘You love me?’ She repeated it with wonder, trying it out on her tongue for size and liking the way it felt. Too good to be true. But when she looked at him she knew that he meant every word of what he had said. ‘I love you,’ she whispered. ‘I slept with you because I loved you. You were everything my head told me I shouldn’t want, but you crash-landed into my life as well…’
‘I want to marry you, Tess. I don’t want to marry you because you’re having our baby. I want to marry you because my life isn’t complete unless you’re in it. I want to go to sleep with you beside me every night, and I want to wake up in the morning with you right next to me.’
With a sigh of contentment, Tess crawled onto his lap and closed her eyes, happy to be enfolded in his warmth and to feel his fingers gently stroke her hair.
‘I’ve never been so happy in my entire life,’ she confessed. ‘I think I might cry, given half a chance.’
‘Will you marry me as soon as possible?’ he breathed. ‘I know you probably don’t want to take the attention away from your sister, but I don’t know how long I can wait. I want you to flash my ring on your finger so that every man out there knows that he’s not to come within ten feet of you unless specifically given permission.’
Tess laughed into his shoulder, and then wriggled so that she could look up at him.
‘That’s ultra-possessive…’
‘I’m an ultra-possessive man,’ he growled, ‘and don’t ever forget it.’ At last he felt free to touch her, to feel the wonder of her body that was slowly going to be transformed wit
h his baby in it. He pushed his hands up under her tee shirt and groaned as the rounded curves of her breasts filled them. He stroked her nipples, and the familiar feel of them hardening under his touch was beyond erotic.
‘Is there any chance that a family member might surprise me in the middle of making love to you?’ he questioned in a shaky undertone. ‘Because if there is, then we’re going to have to get to your bedroom quickly. I love you and I want you and I need you. It feels like it’s been years…’
Upstairs, on her small double bed, they made love with sweet, lingering slowness. To Matt it really did feel as though it had been years since he had touched her, even though it had been only a matter of a couple of weeks.
He touched her everywhere. He kissed and nuzzled the breasts that would enlarge over the months, and suckled on nipples that would darken and distend. When he came into her, her slippery sheath brought him to an almost immediate orgasm. Never had making love been such a liberating experience—but, then again, never had a woman unlocked him in the way she had…
They were married less than two months later. It was a quiet and very romantic ceremony, at the local church where her parents had been members of the congregation for ever. Matt’s parents and a handful of close friends made the journey, and of course Samantha was the centre of attention and as excitable as it was possible to be.
Tess had never doubted that her parents would embrace Matt as a member of their family, and they did. She was more surprised and thrilled that his parents were just as warm and welcoming towards her. Maybe it was because they could see the devotion on their son’s face whenever he looked at her, and the love on his daughter’s face at the prospect of Tess becoming her stepmother.
Small but subtle changes took place over the ensuing months. They continued to live in Matt’s vast penthouse apartment, which was convenient for Samantha’s school, but they also bought a country house of their own, and spent most weekends there. Tess hadn’t abandoned the prospect of a career in teaching, although she was now going to wait until the baby was born and then take everything slowly and in her stride. The fact that both Matt and Samantha had one hundred percent belief in her was a huge encouragement.
Tess had never thought that such happiness was possible, and her feelings of contentment must have transmitted themselves to her baby, for little Isobel was born without drama. Eight and a half pounds of apple-cheeked, green-eyed, black-haired, good-natured little girl.
She could only smile and agree when Matt, as he was fond of doing, told them that at long last he was where he had always wanted to be—surrounded by beautiful females who had finally succeeded in domesticating him.
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
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First published in Great Britain 2011
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Cathy Williams 2011
ISBN: 978-1-408-92587-4
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