by Addison Cole
“I’m sorry, Tony.”
She felt him nod.
“He had ALS, Amy. ALS. I had no idea.” His voice trailed off.
Eventually his grip eased and he gazed sadly into her eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
She kissed him to soften the hurt threaded in his voice. He deepened the kiss, turning it hot and urgent, greedy for comfort she was more than willing to give. Amy was the first to draw back, wanting to show him the love she felt so deeply and to fill her own need to bring him respite from whatever was tearing him up inside.
There was nothing she could say to take away the hurt she saw in his eyes. He pulled her closer, and she knew he needed to be loved the way she’d loved him all those years ago. She needed to take away the ache of sorrow and fill him with comfort in a way only their love could. She kissed his jaw, his neck, the tender spot at the base of his neck. She pushed at his tank top, running her hands over his muscles, and he kissed her like being with her was the only place on earth he ever wanted to be.
Chapter Fifteen
OVER THE NEXT few days, Amy and Tony talked about his father’s illness and the magnitude of what his father must have felt. Tony was angry at first about his parents keeping it from him. As he came to grips with his new reality, Amy gave him the time and space to deal with it in the way he dealt with most things. He threw himself into surfing and working out. He was up before dawn for morning workouts, then beat his body up for most of the day, and when he’d return, he and Amy would talk until the wee hours of the morning and then make love until the pain and confusion was once again held at bay.
Sunday morning Tony took Evan surfing while Amy, Bella, and Jenna went to help Leanna at the flea market. Luscious Leanna’s Sweet Treats had taken off so much that Leanna couldn’t keep up with the customers at her booth. She’d even begun leaving Pepper at home with Kurt because she needed to focus solely on sales. Sunday was the busiest day at the flea market, and today was no different. It was a gorgeous summer afternoon with temps in the mideighties and a nice cool breeze. The girls wore their typical attire of their bathing suits beneath sundresses, with the exception of Leanna, who had on her jam-streaked cutoffs and a tank top.
While Leanna and Jenna helped customers, Bella and Amy applied labels to jars sitting beside Leanna’s colorful, hand-painted Volkswagen bus. She always parked behind her booth, as most of the vendors did.
“Have you had any repercussions from the stunt you pulled with Theresa?” Amy asked Bella.
“Pfft. No. She can’t outdo me. She knows that now.”
“But that was breaking and entering. You’re lucky she didn’t have you arrested.”
“No, it wasn’t. I offered to water her plants while she was gone. Besides, it’s all in fun. She knows that. Let’s talk about something that matters. How is Tony holding up with the news about his dad?” Bella asked.
Tony hadn’t hesitated when Amy had asked him if she should share the news of his father’s illness with the girls. She wasn’t sure if he’d been so quick to allow it because they would be there to support them or because he was just not into keeping secrets any longer. His decision seemed to be driven by both. She’d told the girls about his father’s illness, and as she’d expected, they’d been empathetic and supportive.
“You know Tony. He’s keeping himself busy until he’s really ready to deal with it. I think he needs closure.” Amy set a jar on the table and picked up another. “Is it weird that I feel guilty about that summer? I mean, maybe if I hadn’t been so attracted to Tony back then, he would have had more time for his dad or been more focused on him. Maybe he could have talked to him instead of just being upset over how he was being treated.”
“It’s not weird, but only because you have the biggest, most unselfish heart on the planet.” Bella peeled the backing off a label and pressed it on the jar. “You hate to see anyone sad, and you want to fix it for him. But he’s a guy. You can’t fix anything for a guy. No one can. They’re like…” Bella looked out at the sea of people walking between the booths. “I don’t know what they’re like, but while they want us there to listen and love them, they want to be the fixers.”
“I just want to do the right thing and help him through this.”
Bella set down the jar and reached for Amy’s hands. “Ames, you are doing the right thing. You and Tony are together. The rest will work itself out.”
“I hope so. I hate that he can’t go back and work things out with his dad.” She knew it was tearing Tony up that he couldn’t fix this with a phone call to his father, and she worried about what would happen when keeping himself busy wasn’t enough to dull the pain.
When there was a lull in the flow of customers, Jenna joined them. “Take him to his father’s grave site. He can say a real goodbye, not the angry, confused twenty-year-old’s goodbye of years ago.”
Bella stepped in to help another round of customers so Jenna could talk with Amy, patting Amy’s arm as she passed. Jenna picked up a jar and a label and went to work.
“Do you think that will help?” Amy tucked her hair behind her ear, thinking about Jenna’s suggestion. Tony hadn’t cried at his father’s funeral. She’d never forget the way he’d looked broken and brave at the same time, when inside she’d known he must have been shattered.
“I do. His father doesn’t need to be with him for Tony to come to grips with his feelings. He just needs to be present—you know what I mean?”
“Then maybe I should take him to Pelly, that psychic in P-town.” Pelly was one of the best psychics in the area. When they were younger they’d heard stories of people camping overnight in Pelly’s yard to be seen the following morning. Over the years Pelly had cracked down on those folks, and now he held very limited hours for readings.
“Do you remember when we went as kids?” Jenna’s eyes widened as she picked up another jar.
“How could I forget? Remember how dark the room was? And everything was red. The walls, the tablecloth, even the caftan he wore was bloodred. So weird.”
Jenna laughed. “Remember how nervous we were? I can’t even remember what he told us. I just remember running out and laughing so hard that we tumbled onto the grass.”
“Yeah, well, I remember hoping he’d tell me that Tony was madly in love with me, and instead he told me something stupid like, Be true to your heart and you’ll find your way.” Amy scoffed.
“Ames…”
Amy met Jenna’s wide-eyed gaze. “What?”
“Duh. You did follow your heart. And you did find your way.”
Goose bumps rose on Amy’s arms. “Yeah. Maybe he wasn’t so far off after all, but maybe that’s not the best thing for Tony. I mean, if Pelly is as good as people say, what if he really does reach Tony’s dad and something’s…I don’t know. Off. Or if it doesn’t offer the closure he needs. It might make things worse.”
“There is that.”
“I think I like your idea better anyway. Tony needs to come to grips with his own feelings on his own terms. If there’s one thing I’ve learned this summer, it’s that you can’t fix the past. You can only accept it, maybe try to understand it as best you can, and find a way to move forward and leave it where it belongs. In the past.” It surprised Amy that she was doling out such sage advice so readily. She of all people knew how difficult it was to leave the past behind. And now, reflecting on what she’d said, she also understood how important it was to deal with it before moving on.
It was nearly six o’clock by the time the flea market cleared out, despite the fact that it officially closed at four.
“Beachcomber tonight?” Bella asked as they pulled into Seaside and Leanna parked beside the laundry room, which she often did since her van was so big and it blocked her view of Amy’s deck if she parked in her driveway.
“That sounds perfect.” Amy stepped from the van and glanced over at Tony’s cottage. His car was there, and she couldn’t wait to see him. “I’ll ask Tony. I think
we could both use some fun.”
“Ask Tony what?” Tony stepped from the laundry room, shirtless, tanned, and gorgeous, carrying a basket of freshly folded clothes.
“I don’t think there’s anything sexier than a guy doing laundry.” Amy rose up on her toes and kissed him. “Especially this man.”
“I don’t know. Caden in his tool belt is pretty hot,” Bella teased.
Amy laughed. “We were talking about going to the Beachcomber tonight.”
“Sounds great.” Tony slipped an arm around Amy’s waist and whispered, “I need to shower. Want to join me?”
Amy felt her cheeks heat up. “Uh…yeah. Of course.”
They made plans to meet the gang later and headed to Tony’s cottage. Theresa pulled up as they crossed in front of her driveway. She waved, and Amy stopped to greet her.
“Hi, Theresa. We’re going to the Beachcomber tonight. Would you like to come along?”
Theresa pressed her lips together in a way that made Amy feel stupid for asking. She was probably angry about Bella’s prank, although Theresa never really got angry, at least not that Amy had ever witnessed.
“The Beachcomber is for you young’uns,” Theresa said.
“We’re not that much younger than you,” Amy reminded her.
“Oh, I think anything more than ten years counts as older. You guys have fun and be safe.”
“Okay, maybe next time.”
Theresa made that face again. Amy waved as they crossed the quad toward Tony’s cottage. Her cell phone rang as they stepped inside. It was Duke.
Time to face the music.
IT HAD BEEN a long few days, and Tony was ready to chill. He leaned back and enjoyed the view from their table at the Beachcomber restaurant. It wasn’t the view of the ocean that drew his attention, although the Beachcomber was built on a bluff overlooking Cahoon Hollow Beach. It was Amy’s hot little body moving seductively on the dance floor that drew his eyes. She was dancing with Bella, Jenna, Leanna, and Sky, and she was the most beautiful woman in the place.
“Dude, I’m pretty sure you can go blind staring like that,” Caden joked.
“Then blind I shall be.” Tony took a sip of his drink. He could watch Amy dance all night long. He really wanted to be out there with her body pressed against his, but she was having too much fun with the girls for him to step in.
Pete patted Tony on the back. “Glad to see you guys together, man. This is the way it should be. Now Jenna and I can finally get married.”
Tony shifted his eyes to Pete. “You needed me and Amy to be together so you could get married?”
Pete took a swig of his beer. “Not me.” He nodded to the girls. “You really think they’d do something that big without each other? They can barely pee without holding each other’s hands.”
Tony laughed. “Yeah. It’s one of the things I love about Amy. She’s loyal to the bone.”
“That’s why Duke offered her the job,” Blue said. He and Sky had been joining their group outings ever since last summer, when Sky had moved back into town and Blue had built Jenna’s art studio. “He said she’s not only one of the best logistical coordinators he’s ever worked with, but that she’s loyal and dedicated. In our family, loyalty trumps all.”
As if Tony hadn’t known that from the day he first kissed Amy so many years ago. She’d kept the secret of their relationship from their families and best friends, and if that wasn’t enough, she’d gone fourteen years without being intimate with another man. She was the most loyal person he knew. Well, at least as loyal as he now knew his mother had been to his father. She’d kept a secret of her own for the same amount of time.
Tony scrubbed his hand down his face. Amy had spoken to Duke earlier in the evening and she’d scheduled a meeting with him for the following weekend, when he was coming to the Cape to look over a property that Blue was thinking of purchasing. Tony hadn’t pushed her for information even though he was dying to know if she’d made a decision. But after they’d made love and showered together before coming to the Beachcomber, he’d asked if she had a plan for the job. She’d said she wasn’t sure, but she’d made it real clear that she wanted their relationship to work, and Tony could only hope that meant she’d consider staying in the States.
“How do you feel about her going to Australia?” Blue asked. “You surf there, right?”
I feel like I don’t want her to go. “Yeah, I do. Whatever makes her happy.”
“You’re a better man than me,” Pete said. “I’d tell her to stay.”
Kurt looked at him sideways. “And Jenna would listen?”
Pete ran his hand through his thick dark hair and shifted his eyes to Jenna, who was shimmying up Bella’s body on the dance floor. “Jenna doesn’t listen. She makes her own decisions, but I know she’d never leave me.”
“If Leanna wanted to go to Australia for her work, I’d go with her,” Kurt added.
“That’s because you can work from anywhere,” Caden pointed out. “It’s a tough call.”
“You’re in a rough spot,” Blue said to Tony. “I’m no expert on love. I mean, I haven’t had a steady girl in years, but I’m not sure I could sit back and wait for a woman I loved to make that big of a decision. I’d take Pete’s route and tell her to stay. Of course, Duke is my brother, so if it were me, I’d have to deal with that.”
“You’d put your relationship ahead of her career?” Tony asked. Amy had already put Tony’s career ahead of their relationship once. He didn’t want her to do it again. While he knew Amy had been protecting herself as much as she’d been protecting him all those years ago, he couldn’t deny—and would never forget—that she’d supported his success by removing herself as a distraction. Even if he hadn’t wanted her to.
He watched a group of handsome twentysomething guys approach the girls. Amy smiled up at one of them. Jealousy corded Tony’s muscles tight. Amy took a step back from the guy and Tony rose to his feet.
“Yeah,” he mumbled to himself. The word dripped with sarcasm. “That’s not happening, jerk,” he mumbled as he crossed the dance floor and slid a possessive arm around Amy’s waist. “May I?”
She turned in to him with a grateful smile and clenched his shirt in her fists. “I was hoping you’d come to my rescue.”
Their bodies moved in perfect rhythm, hips brushing, hands wandering. He pulled her closer and whispered, “I’m not taking any chances of losing you after this many years.”
She ran her hands down his biceps, and her eyes darkened. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
“I only have to worry about losing you to kangaroos and the outback?” He touched his forehead to hers, knowing it was unfair to put pressure on her to decide between him and the job, but he was unable to stop himself. He needed to know exactly how committed she was, because he was completely ready to be committed to her.
“Mr. Black, is that jealousy I hear in your voice?” Her lips curved in a playful smile.
“It would be petty to be jealous over a job.”
“Oh, I meant over the hot guy—and the job.”
He narrowed his eyes, took her hand in his, and led her off the dance floor and down a narrow hallway, where he took her in a deep, hard kiss and backed her up against the wall.
“I want to put you in a position that I shouldn’t,” he said in a harsh whisper.
Amy’s eyes widened. “Here?”
“Not a sexual position.” He laughed, then lowered his voice. “Although that sounds good, too.”
She trapped her lower lip between her teeth.
“You’re so cute, kitten.”
She hooked her finger in the waist of his pants. “You already made me purr twice today.”
“Three times, but who’s counting?” He kissed her neck, earning him a sexy moan.
“I know I told you to take the job with Duke, and I don’t want to stand in your way, but I want you with me, Amy. Every day, every night, every single minute of my life.”
AMY LAY ON her back in Tony’s bed, listening to the calm cadence of his breathing and thinking about what he’d said the night before. I want you with me, Amy. Every day, every night, every single minute of my life. They’d been interrupted by Bella and Jenna about a second after he’d said it, and he hadn’t brought it up again.
Tony stirred beside her and she closed her eyes. She felt the bed shift, and then his warm lips touched hers.
“How long are you going to pretend to be sleeping?” He smiled at her.
“I’m sorry. Did I keep you up?”
He looked beneath the covers and flashed a heated grin. “That would be a very happy yes.”
Amy couldn’t repress her smile. “I really don’t want anything separating us, Tony. In any way. Just so you know, I’m on the pill.”
“That’s great, but I’m a little nervous about putting you in the same position you were in before.”
“It wouldn’t be the same position. We’re adults, and the pill is ninety-nine percent effective.”
His eyes grew serious. “I told you I’d always take care of you, and a one percent chance is one percent riskier than you deserve.”
“Isn’t that being a little overprotective?” She ran her fingers lightly over his chest.
“Maybe.” He brushed his lips over hers. “I’ve learned my lesson. No more taking chances where you’re concerned. You’re my life now, kitten.” He took her in another soul-searing kiss.
“Then let me be your life. Love all of me. Feel all of me.”
He gazed up at her. “I want to do the right thing.”
“This is the absolute right thing. I want to feel you from now on. I want that with all my heart. I never want anything between us again.”
“I don’t either. Including the past. I was thinking about your suggestion, about going to my father’s grave.”
“Yeah?” She’d suggested it on the way to the Beachcomber last night, and he’d said he would consider it.