by Addison Cole
He kissed her again. “Well, then,” he said in a husky voice, “I’ll have to keep that in mind.” He folded her in his arms. “But for now I would like to go up to the top of the lighthouse and release a paper lantern in honor of my father.”
Her body melted against him. “Tony, I would be honored to share that moment with you.”
He touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. He smelled like man and summer and love all wrapped up in one sensual scent.
“Kitten, I also want to release a lantern for the child we lost.”
Amy’s breath caught in her throat. Tears dampened her eyes as she reached deep inside herself and forced her voice to work.
“Tony,” she whispered.
“Too much?”
“No.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Perfect,” was all she could manage. She buried her face in his chest and soaked up his comfort and strength like a sponge.
They put their stuff in the car and Tony grabbed a bag from the backseat.
“How did you arrange this? It’s only open twice a year,” she asked as a young, clean-cut man opened the lighthouse for them.
As they ascended the red circular staircase toward the top of the lighthouse, the weight of Tony’s protective hand on her back helped keep Amy grounded in the moment. She kept one hand on the brick wall and the other on the railing. Her heart raced as they stepped through the door and into the cool air on the balcony at the top of the lighthouse.
“Let’s just say that I owe Caden big-time. He has a friend with the US Coast Guard, and they arranged for Kyle to let us in.”
Tony set down the bag with the sky lanterns in it and took her in his arms again. She fisted her hands in his shirt for stability, feeling emotionally overwhelmed by what they were about to do. He brushed her hair from her shoulders and kissed her sweetly.
“You okay?”
She nodded and opened her mouth to answer, but no words came.
“It’s okay. Let’s take a moment and just be together.” He held her close and she closed her eyes, reveling in his understanding and love.
She felt him lift his head and clung to him like she was never going to let go. She toyed with the idea of trying to get away with that and imagined herself clinging to him while he surfed. She smiled at the ridiculous thought and forced herself to ease her grip and look out over the water.
“Wow. This is just beautiful.” She looked up at Tony and felt so in love that she had to hang on to him again. She realized that the love they had now was even more intense than their first love, in a more mature way. It was the type of love that she knew she could count on in good times and bad. The type of love she’d never, ever hide again, for anyone or for any reason. This was true, grown-up love.
“This whole night is beautiful. Thank you, Tony, for not forgetting about me even after I told you to go away. Thanks for loving me.”
He pressed his hands to her cheeks and kissed her. “Babe, I have and always will love you, and I’ll never leave you again, even if you try to push me out the door.”
They embraced, and a long while later Tony retrieved the lanterns from the bag. One paper sky lantern was pale green and the other was white. They looked like regular decorative paper lanterns, but they were much larger, with something square attached by four strings on the open bottom.
Tony held up the white lantern and pointed to the square.
“This is the fuel cell. We’ll light it, and the heat will carry the lantern into the sky. I bought white for my father and green for…”
“For our child.” She didn’t know how those words had come so easily, but as his eyes grew serious, the words felt right, and they no longer scared her. “It was a good choice.”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Should we light my father’s first?”
“Yes.” She drew in a deep breath, feeling more and more like they were doing the right thing. She held the lantern while Tony lit the flame. Then he took the lantern from her hands and held it up to catch the air.
“Do you want to say something?” She settled her hand on his lower back, hoping to offer him the same comforting touch as he’d given her.
The muscles in his jaw bunched and his biceps flexed as he lifted the lantern higher.
“I love you, Dad, and I hope you’re looking down at me and you’re as proud to be my father as I am to be your son.” He released the lantern, and it floated up toward the stars. The wind carried it out over the water.
Amy wrapped her arms around him again. “I’m sure he is very proud of you.”
“Yeah. I think he is.”
Tony kissed the top of her head, then retrieved the other lantern.
“Time to leave the past behind and focus on our future.” She meant every word.
“Our past will always be a part of us. Who knows? Maybe if we hadn’t gone through such a hard time, we wouldn’t be together right now. The world works in strange ways.”
“Can I light this one?” Amy wanted to take an active part in letting the past go and freeing herself from the guilt and pain that came with it. Yes, it would always be a part of them, but it didn’t have to outweigh who they were now or the future they were meant to have.
“Of course.” He handed her the lighter and held the pale green lantern up. When it was lit, he waited for her to hold it with him, and together they waited for the wind to catch it and carry it away. When they felt the pull of gravity, they released their hold, and Tony folded her against his side as they watched it float into the night.
“I’ll never forget what we went through,” Amy said quietly. “But I’ll never hide it or fear it again. I want to honor all the feelings we ever feel from now on.”
Tony nodded. His eyes were damp as he slid a hand in his pocket, then sank to one knee.
Amy glanced down at him, wondering what he was doing. He took her hands in his and smiled up at her.
“Tony?” Her pulse sped up. “What are you doing?” Holy cow…Are you…?
“Exactly what you probably think I’m doing. What I wish I would have had the chance to do that summer. Amy Maples, kitten, my sweet girl.” He kissed the back of her hands. “Will you marry me?”
Marry you? Marry you! Yes! Yes! Ohmygosh! She lost the ability to speak, could barely remember to breathe.
“We’ll have the family we were always meant to have. We’ll spend summers here with our kids.”
She fell to her knees beside him, unable to stand, for her legs had turned to jelly. Yes, I want to marry you! She opened her mouth, but what came out wasn’t what she expected. “What about the job, and…?”
His eyes darkened, full of love and hope so palpable it practically reached out and embraced her.
“You can take the job with Duke. I’ll go with you. We’ll make it work.”
“Take the…You…I…” She blinked away tears of happiness. “We’ve only been together a short while and you’d change your life that much for me?”
“We’ve only been together a short while, but we’ve loved each other for a lifetime. Yes, I’ll change everything for you.” He kissed the corners of her mouth, then pressed a soft kiss to the center of her lips, while she sat there, numb, trembling, and elated.
“I don’t want you to put your life on hold for me, babe. You’ve done enough of that to last a lifetime. It’s your turn to follow your dreams, and I’ll support whatever they are. I know we can make this work, even if you work in Australia.” He kissed her knuckles. “Just say yes, and I promise you that we’ll figure everything else out. I’ll make sure your life is amazing.”
“Yes. Yes. Oh, Tony. Yes!” She launched herself into his lap, bowling them both over as she covered his face in kisses. “Yes.” She kissed him again. “Yes.” And again. “Yes.” And again.
He laughed against her lips and sat up with her in his arms. He took her trembling hand in his and opened his fist, which she hadn’t even noticed he’d clenched. She felt her eyes widen at the sight of the rose-gold square
-cut diamond ring in his hand.
“Tony, is that…?”
He nodded and slid it on her finger. It was a perfect fit. “I bought it before I went to see you at your dorm, intending to ask you to marry me.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks. You were going to ask me to marry you? “Oh, Tony…” She looked at the ring again. They’d seen it in a little jewelry shop in Provincetown that summer, and she’d said that she hoped when she got married her husband would know to buy her that ring. She couldn’t believe he’d bought it. She could barely breathe past the lump in her throat.
“When my mother gave me the cottage, I put it in the safe. It’s been here ever since, waiting for you.”
She wept openly, unable to speak but wanting to say so much. His mother had given him the cottage the year after his father died. She’d said the memories were too much for her. It’s been here for all these years?
“Amy, you’ve made me the happiest man on earth, and I meant what I said. Whatever you decide about work, I’ll be there to support you every step of the way.”
She forced her brain to fire. “What…what about your competitions and…?” She paused to wipe her tears.
“I’ll make it work.”
The truth and worry poured out without her permission. “But I don’t want to live apart while you travel and compete, and if I take that job…” She couldn’t ask him not to compete. What was she saying?
“We won’t, babe. We’ll figure it out. I don’t have to compete in every competition. I’ve won all there is to win. The rest is gravy. Now it’s time for us. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.” He must have seen the question in her eyes, because he added, “Including surfing.”
Honesty was evident in the sincerity of his voice and the depths of his eyes.
“And I know you and the girls wanted to have a group wedding. If you want to get married with them, that’s fine. If you want to go to the justice of the peace tomorrow, I’m in. If you want a big wedding on a tropical island, I’m there.”
“I don’t need a tropical island. A nice quiet wedding on the beach with the girls would be another dream come true.”
“If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do. All I ask is that you marry me soon, because I’m not taking a chance that you change that brilliant mind of yours.”
Amy touched her forehead to his, knowing there wasn’t a chance that she’d change her mind.
Chapter Twenty-One
FRIDAY MORNING TONY was up before the sun, but not to run off unwanted stress. They planned on telling their friends about their engagement over breakfast, and he knew that once the news was out, the girls would monopolize Amy’s time until after the wedding took place. She still hadn’t spoken with her father, and he wondered when she would get around to it, but he didn’t want to pressure her. He knew it was going to be a difficult conversation for her, and he also knew Amy well enough to know that when she was ready, she’d take charge of that situation just as she had of getting his attention before Jamie’s wedding. Right now he wanted a few quiet minutes alone with her before the wedding became their focus.
She was lying beside him in her bed, one arm stretched out under her head, the other draped over his stomach. Her hair fell away from her face in golden streaks across the back of the pink nightshirt he’d given her over the winter. He could see the tail of the kitten that was imprinted on the front of the shirt. On the front the kitten was curled into a ball with one eye open with the words Stroke me above the kitty and I’m into heavy petting beneath.
He was already thinking about where they’d live if she took the job with Duke. Tony owned houses on the East and West Coasts, as well as the cottage on the Cape. Adding a house in Australia was fine with him, as long as Amy was happy. He worried about her being that far away from her friends. Not that Amy saw them much between summers, but now that all the other girls were living at the Cape full-time, he wondered if she’d rather be there with them. They were as close as family to both of them. He was thinking about how to ask her without sounding as though he would rather not move to Australia when she lifted her pretty face and smiled up at him from beneath her long lashes, and his thoughts fell away.
“Tony?” She laced her hand with his.
“Hm?”
“What if we get married and I get pregnant and…” She lowered her voice. “And I lose the baby again?”
He went up on one elbow so he could look at her face. “Hopefully, that’s not going to happen. We’ll be more careful—no surfing if you’re pregnant—and we’ll talk to your doctor and see if that seems like it’s something we should be worried about.”
“I have. He said he didn’t see any medical reason for me to be at risk of another miscarriage.”
A slice of relief cut through him. “Well, does it scare you? Would you rather not try to have children? Because as much as I’d adore biological children, I’ll adore adopted children just as much.”
Amy smiled. “No. I want to try, but thank you. I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Babe, you could never disappoint me. My love for you is unconditional. If we have children, wonderful. If we adopt, beautiful. And if it’s just you and me for the rest of our lives, it’ll be just as perfect.”
“You wouldn’t feel like you were missing out on something?” She searched his eyes, and he hoped she saw the truth in them.
“I’ve missed out for fourteen years.” He kissed her and held her close. “I love you, Amy. I want a life with you. Kids are a bonus.”
“I want the bonus deal,” she said against his chest. “A couple times over.”
He leaned back and smiled. “Then you’re going to get the bonus deal. As many times as you want. And, baby, if what happened before happens again, we’ll deal with it together. I’m not letting you turn me away again, and there’s no way I’m going anywhere. That’s a promise.”
BABIES, BABIES, BABIES. That was all Amy could think about after she and Tony talked about having children earlier that morning. Now, hours later, surrounded by all their friends while they ate breakfast on Bella’s deck, Amy was looking at each of her girlfriends and wondering what she’d feel like if they could have babies and she couldn’t. If they had baby bumps beneath their sundresses and she was the only one with a pitifully flat stomach, would she resent them? No. She’d like to believe she would never be so petty, but the heart could be petty. Her dart-board practice confirmed that much.
“I still can’t believe we’re all getting married,” Bella said.
“Well, almost all of us,” Sky said as she French braided Jenna’s hair.
“No need to rush things, sis.” Pete gave Sky a brotherly narrow-eyed gaze, then reached down and petted Joey.
Jenna smacked his thigh. “She’s twenty-five, Pete. She can do whatever she wants.”
“I’m in no rush, thank you very much. I’m having fun just hanging out.” Sky finished braiding Jenna’s hair and patted Jenna’s back so she knew she was free to move. “When will you guys get married? My friend Lizzie owns a flower shop in P-town. I bet she’d love to handle the bouquets.”
“That would be awesome,” Jenna said. “We need to coordinate dresses, flowers…shoes.”
“Uh oh, here she goes. OCD Central coming through,” Bella teased. “And this one over here can’t stop looking at her engagement ring.” She nodded at Amy.
“Do you blame me?” Amy held her hand out and wiggled her fingers. Tony squeezed her thigh. He was sitting beside her with the same ridiculously happy grin he’d had on his face all morning.
“It is gorgeous.” Sky took a closer look at the ring.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I would really like a simple wedding,” Leanna said. “I have to leave for the flea market, so let me just lodge my vote. Beach wedding, casual dresses, just us.”
“Whoa, babe.” Kurt petted Pepper, who was cuddled up
in his lap. “While that sounds more than perfect to me, I think my sister and mother might have an issue with not being there.” He set Pepper on the ground, and Pepper ran directly to Amy and rolled over.
Amy petted his belly and Joey nosed her way into the petting action.
“Oh, right. Well, I guess my family might want to be there, too.” Leanna looked at the others. “And I can’t imagine all of y’all’s families won’t want to be there, too.”
Pete groaned.
Sky laughed. “Yeah, they’ll want to be there. Dad would be mad if he missed it. And trust me, Hunter, Matt, and Grayson will want to witness the first Lacroux to take the plunge.”
“My parents, too,” Caden added.
Tony took a sip of coffee and glanced at Amy. “Babe, your parents will want to be there, too. I think this wedding is getting much bigger than we thought.”
“But…everyone waited for us to get married,” Amy said.
“Jamie and Jessica didn’t,” Bella reminded her.
“Well, Jamie wasn’t really included in the three of you holding out, but I think Jamie was afraid I’d never get engaged, and he was so ready to marry Jessica anyway. I think it was hard for him to wait as long as he did.” Amy thought about what kind of wedding she really wanted. When she thought of marrying Tony, the only image that came to mind was all of the Seaside gang, on the beach, getting married at the same time. She looked around the table, and no matter how hard she tried to skew the wedding in her head to include all the families, it didn’t work.
“I think I have an idea,” she said, and all eyes turned to her. “What about if we have our private beach wedding. Just us, and Theresa, of course. She is part of Seaside. We can wait until Jamie and Jessica come back with Vera, and then we can each have another wedding with our own families.”
Tony put his arm around her shoulder and tugged her in closer. “Brilliant.” He kissed her cheek. “I love that. Our families are important, but you know once we get all the families together, the wedding will become a zoo. Leanna’s brother Dae will want to blow something up. Grayson and Hunter will want to construct a steel sculpture to commemorate the day—”