by Ellis Logan
Chapter 24
I woke up the next morning to a sliver of orange light blazing into my eye. Argh. I rolled over and pulled a pillow over my head. I’d expected this to happen, since the curtains in the room were basically non-existent, but I had kind of hoped to sleep in a little longer.
After my run the evening before, I’d showered and joined the others for a quiet dinner. The physical exertion had cleared my head, and all the questions I’d had earlier had fled my mind. Food and shelter. Training. Finding my mom. Those were my only concerns now.
I felt a strange distance from Rowan and the others, even Miko. I heard Vala whisper words of comfort to Rowan about me being in shock, but that wasn’t it. It was like I had turned off part of myself. I felt no fear anymore, but I also felt removed. Remote. Like my emotions were on ice. I ate without tasting anything, and when I finished I excused myself to go to bed early.
Not that I’d gotten much rest.
Conflicting dreams had kept me awake all night. Dreams where I fought faceless fighters made of smoke and darkness, and other dreams where I ran laughing through the steamy forests, chased by smiling green eyes.
I flopped over and stared at the ceiling, testing my mood. The morning sun hadn’t changed anything. I still didn’t feel anything, except a driving sense of purpose to train, run, and move. I wasn’t even tired. I couldn’t wait till this guardian guy showed up and things started happening. I needed to be on the move. I needed to feel like I was doing something.
I threw on some yoga pants and a tee shirt, being careful not to wake Miko, laced up my sneakers and snuck outside with an apple in hand to watch the sunrise come up.
Even while I was eating and trying to Zen out on the dawn, I couldn’t stay still, going through a series of stretches and sun salutations. After a few minutes I tossed the apple core into some bushes and jogged off into the woods to check out what Vala had said was the longest trail covering steep inclines and a small boulder field.
Two hours later, I came back out of the forest covered in sweat and feeling fantastic. That had been a killer run, and the boulder field made an awesome parkour training course. My body felt like it was singing.
Rowan was sitting on the back steps, coffee in hand, watching me approach. Worry was clearly etched across his face.
I felt a twinge of guilt, realizing I hadn’t left a note or anything to explain my absence.
“Vala said you went out running.”
“She did?” His comment surprised me, until I remembered she was a seer. I guessed she could sense most of what happened on her land.
“Yeah, but I was still worried. You didn’t even bring Miko.” He nodded at Miko who was in a tree by the woods happily eating his way through a massive walnut.
“Sorry,” I said without really meaning it. “I needed to get outside.” And once I said it I realized that exercise had only been just a part of it.
Being outside in the forest, being in nature, had revitalized me in a way it never had before. I felt like I could go run for another two hours, no problem. The birds sang, and I could hear the song of each one separately, and understand what they were saying. They sang of the fresh sun, of the new squirrel who was just visiting, of how bright the light shone from the funny running fae when she had fewer thoughts in her head than the deer at rest, and when a gentle rain would fall the next day.
Wait. I had light shining from me? What the hell? I looked down at my arms, but they looked normal to me. Maybe it was just an avian turn of phrase.
“I still feel pretty jazzed. Since you’re up…Didn’t you used to do martial arts?”
“Yeah,” Rowan eyed me warily.
“Wanna spar? I promise I’ll go easy on you,” I sassed.
“How could I refuse an offer like that? Sure, why not,” he chuckled.
I kicked off my shoes, walking to the center of the lawn, and he followed suit.
“Ok, light contact only, since we don’t have any gear. And no head shots.”
“Deal.” He bounced back into a respectable fighting stance and put his hands up. “Ready when you are.”
We started with a volley of light punches. I saw he could hold his own, and started mixing in some kicks, careful not to hit any marks too hard. He knew me well, even though we’d never fought before, and was able to anticipate a lot of my simpler moves.
Our sparring slowly evolved into more of a dance, with Rowan giving me the space I needed to work out my some of my energy. Whenever I made contact he looked at me not with anger or frustration, but with admiration. He moved gracefully, and the graceful flow of our fighting inspired me to mix in new capoeira moves I’d been studying, cartwheels and rotations that looks deceivingly slow and harmless, but actually combined evasion and attack techniques in a beautiful way.
“What the hell was that?” Rowan grunted, speaking for the first time. I’d just knocked him back a few feet with a macaco roundoff ending in a kick to his shoulder.
“Capoeira,” I grinned. The same relaxed, almost joyful energy I’d had after running still flowed through me. It dawned on me that I was actually having fun for the first time in days.
Rowan’s eyes got a new gleam in them, and he closed the space between us, growling. “Guess I better not give you too much room.”
“Oh, ok.” I pretended to struggle for a moment as his arms came around me, giving him a few moments to feel some victory before I responded with a few staple Krav Maga moves. Stunned, Rowan looked up at me from the ground. “And that was?”
“Israeli army self-defense,” I smiled down at him.
“How could I have forgotten, my girl knows Krav Maga?” He closed his eyes and threw his arms out wide across the grass. “I surrender.”
The sound of clapping made me drop into a defensive stance. I had been reaching down to help Rowan back up, but now I was braced for whatever was coming.
At least, that’s what I thought. In truth, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.
Leaning against the back door, his inky black hair in deep contrast with the crisp white trim on the house, was one of the hottest guys I’d ever seen. Somehow, the fact that he was hot just pissed me off. I glared at him, and he broke into amused laughter.
“That was awesome!” He clapped a few more times. “I don’t think I’ve seen anyone get owned like that in at least a year.” I heard Rowan growl behind me as he struggled back to his feet.
“Can we help you?” I demanded coldly.
“On the contrary,” he said, pushing away lazily from the building and walking down the steps. “I believe I am here to help you.” He grinned arrogantly at me as he walked across the lawn, looking overly pleased with himself.
“Really?” Rowan drawled. “And how could you possibly help us? Vala sent for a trained Light Guard. You want us to believe they sent you instead? You don’t look any older than us.”
I watched the guy get closer. He moved as if he was totally relaxed, but with the same sort of awareness of his surroundings that my mother always had. I could tell he’d had training. But had he had enough?
I hadn’t dropped my stance, so I decided to give him a little test.
“He has a point. Show us what you can do,” I said, stretching out my hand and beckoning him with a gesture Bruce Lee would have been proud of.
If anything, his grin got even wider.
I only had a moment to reflect on the dazzling effect it had on me before he launched into a series of moves that defied categorization. I didn’t recognize any of the forms, but managed to avoid his first few punches and kicks. I felt a proud thrill when I evaded his grasp as he twirled behind me and reached for my arms.
A moment later, flat on my back, I realized his grab had been a diversion. He’d used my defensive momentum to flip my legs out from under me, throwing me to the ground and pinning me down as he nimbly settled astride my hips.
It was the fastest take-down I’d ever experienced, at least from anyone other than my mom.
We locked eyes. Mine, curious. His, green and twinkling.
Wait.
Green?
Even with his back to the sun, I could see that his eyes were a vibrant green with the same enchanting violet ring around their center. The man from my vision.
Again, annoyance replaced joy. My body reacted instinctively to the information, and I tried to buck him off me. Too late, I realized that unbreakable tendrils of plants had come from the earth to hold me in place. They wrapped around my legs and knees, around my arms and shoulders. I lifted my head up and glared at him.
“Let. Me. Go.”
“Not until you concede defeat.” If he kept smiling at me, I swore I would find a way to kill him. Some day. Some time. Very soon.
“Clearly, you win,” I ground out.
He stood up, and watched me, considering. I grew warmer under his inspection, my skin flushing and betraying me even as I grew more frustrated with him.
“You heard her,” Rowan stepped forward, his hands fisting at his sides. “Let her up.”
“Ah, are you going to make me?” The man turned on Rowan, towering over him by several inches. “Don’t forget, I am already familiar with your fighting style.” He put derisive emphasis on the last word.
Rowan narrowed his eyes and folded his arms over his chest, standing his ground. “Just let her up.”
“I don’t think so,” he mused, looking thoughtful.
Miko started chattering furiously from the tree where he’d been eating, clearly not happy with how the situation was progressing.
“I think, we should see what else she can do.”
He knelt down next to me and put his hand on my arm. It was the first real skin to skin contact we had made and it felt like a blast of sunshine was riding through my entire body, lighting up every cell and filling me with an intense desire to get closer to him. I struggled more against my bonds, but this time, it wasn’t because I want to get up. I just wanted to get more. More of whatever it was he was serving up.
And then it was gone. He snatched his hand back, as if he’d burned, and looking at it in wonder. When he looked back at me his eyes were filled with suspicion and resentment. Relief flooded me as I realized that the vines had been the only thing saving me from a very embarrassing moment. What had come over me? I prayed it had looked like I was just struggling to get free.
“Who are you?” he asked, squinting at me as if bringing me into clearer focus might answer all his questions. He managed to sound like somehow I was the one who had suddenly appeared and now held him captive, and not the other way around.
“Who am I? Who the hell are you?” I retorted. “And when are you going to let me up?”
“Right, sorry.” He shrugged. “I wanted to see if you could do it yourself. Vala said you were showing Earth powers. Is that true?”
“Um, yes, I think so. I mean, that’s what everybody says.”
“Okay, so let’s see if you can do this. I need to you to quiet your mind.”
“Easier said than done,” I muttered. “Can you, maybe, back up a little bit. You’re kind of freaking me out still.”
“Okay, sure.” He moved back to stand with Rowan, who was doing his best to ignore the guy and look supportively at me.
“Better?”
I nodded.
“Good. So, now, quiet your mind. Just relax. Take a few deep breaths in and out, and push your energy out to the vines. Thank them and ask them to release you.”
Was he kidding? I was familiar with Qi Kung exercises, so I tried to push out my Qi that way, but nothing happened. I thought for a minute, not sure how to proceed. Then I remembered what the birds had sung about me shining. I tried to imagine my thoughts as rays of light, expanding out from my head.
That’s the way, Miko whispered in my head.
Shhh, I thought back, distracted. I started over again, and imagined my yellow rays reaching out around me and shining into the green pools of energy of the plants surrounding me. I thanked them for their oxygen-giving ways, and asked them if they wouldn’t mind terribly letting me go now?
Slowly, and ever so gently, the tendrils unwound from my body and retreated back into the ground. When the last one had disappeared, I let out a huge breath. I hadn’t even realized I was holding it.
“Wow.” Rowan whispered. “That was so cool.”
I kipped up onto my feet and brushed off some imaginary dirt on my pants.
“Thanks.” I smiled at Rowan appreciatively before I looked over at my nameless supposed escort. “I didn’t know I could do stuff like that. Will I be able to call them up like you did, too?”
“Definitely. I think you’ll be able to do that, and a whole lot more,” he said like he wasn’t entirely sure he was happy about it. We watched each other for a moment in silence. He shook himself out of it first, thrusting out a hand to me in greeting.
“The name’s Alec Ward.”
“Siri Alvarsson,” I answered, grasping his hand. The warm sunshine on a beach feeling returned and it took all my effort not to pull him closer to me.
He dropped my hand quickly and turned to Rowan. With the loss of contact, I felt like the day had gone cloudy, but no, the sun was still out and the birds were still singing. What was wrong with me? I focused on the guys, watching Alec stare down Rowan.
“And you would be?”
“The boyfriend, Rowan Carey,” he said, holding Alec’s hand in a vise-like grip. Whoa, really? I mean, we hadn’t actually had that conversation yet. Alec hissed and yanked his hand out of Rowan’s grip. In a flash he was behind him, restraining both his arms
“You’re a Shade! Why are you here?”
“Easy dude, Rowan is not a Shade.” I rushed to Alec, putting my hand on his shoulder.
“He is, I sensed it the moment I touched him,” Alec sneered and shrugged off my hand. “He’s been lying to you. Besides, he’s a Carey. They’re all dark.”
“Look, Alec, I promise, Rowan is not dark. He hasn’t even chosen yet.”
“Get off me, you jerk,” Rowan tried to shake him off, and Alec’s grip tightened.
`My voice rose in frustration. “You can’t blame him for who his parents are!”
Alec hesitated, clearly doubting my judgment.
“Stand down, Ward!” Vala called from one of the windows on the first floor. “The girl is right. He’s proven himself trustworthy, so far.”
“How do you know it’s not a trap?” Alec called back to her over her shoulder.
“You dare question my judgement? Have you been having your own visions now, Alec?” She chuckled. “Let the poor boy go. If he’d wanted to harm her, he could have handed her over days ago.”
Vala’s head ducked back out of sight and Alec groaned in frustration, clearly thinking we were all out of our minds as he shoved Rowan away from himself in disgust.
Rowan stumbled against me. I hugged him to me for a moment, my stomach rolling with tension, but he shrugged me off and stalked into the woods. I started to follow him but Vala called me back. “Let him go, child. His pride’s been broken, let him have some time to put it back together.”
“Fine,” I muttered, kicking at a dandelion. “Miko, can you go with him? I still don’t think it’s safe for him to be out there alone.” Miko bounded through the forest canopy, griping the whole time about demanding humans.
“You can talk to the animals?” Alec demanded from over my shoulder as I stared forlornly after Miko and Rowan. “How long have you been with the Light?”
“I’m not with the Light. I didn’t even know I was fae until recently, and I don’t turn eighteen until January.”
Alec didn’t respond, so I turned to look at him. “What?”
He was staring at me like I’d just grown another head.
&
nbsp; “But then how did you-” he broke off, shook his head and started again. “How long have you been manifesting abilities for?”
“A few weeks. So? I mean, my mom said it was a little early, but it can’t be that unusual, can it?”
“It’s completely unusual. I don’t know anyone who manifested before they turned eighteen, other than the Elders.”
“And here I thought my mom was just putting off telling me about this fae stuff because she didn’t want to face me getting older.” I laughed. “But she really was telling the truth… she really thought she’d have more time…” I trailed off. It hit me that she might not have any time, period. The weight of what was happening to me crashed down on me again.
“Hey,” Alec said, his arms appearing instantly around me, enveloping me with his warm, hard body. “Don’t worry about your mother. We’re going to figure this all out, I swear. You will have the best resources behind you, and we will find Fredrika.”
He set me back from him and smiled gently at me, like I was a frail mental patient that could become unhinged at any time. Which, I suppose, wasn’t too far off at the moment, considering the way my moods kept shifting.
“She trained me, you know.”
I looked him up and down doubtfully. She certainly hadn’t shown me any of his moves.
“Obviously she taught us different things.”
“No really, she did. The Guard has their own style of martial fighting, but Fredrika leads training seminars every year or so to help catch us up on human fighting techniques. I’ve taken several of her workshops. It’s important for us to know how to deal with any opponent.”
“Well, you seem to have it down,” I ceded. I wasn’t sure if I should be more annoyed that my mom’s “teaching trips” had involved meeting up with lots more fae, or that she hadn’t taught me any of these Guard techniques. Just another thing she had hidden from me. Part of me felt kind of jealous and resentful, that people like this guy had gotten to know my mom in an entirely different way than me. But another part of me just felt ambivalent.
Either way, it didn’t matter what she had hidden from me. Since being fae had led to everything that had gone down this weekend, I could totally get why she’d done it. None of it really mattered. I just had to find her and get her back safe. I wasn’t ready to lose my mom yet.
Rowan returned, just as Vala’s call to come in for brunch pulled me out of my musings. Alec strode quickly ahead of Rowan and I, not bothering to hold the door open for us. Clearly, he was still miffed about the whole Shade thing. Rowan linked arms with me, ambling along slowly.
When we got to the house, he placed his palm against the door and held it closed for a moment, turning to face me. “Siri, I want you to know. Whatever everyone thinks about Shades, I swear, it doesn’t matter what my DNA says. I will never be like my dad. You matter to me more than anything. You will always be able to trust me, you know that right? I could never, ever, hurt you.”
“Well, yeah, I mean, you couldn’t hurt ever your own girlfriend, right?” I winked at him, emphasizing the word girlfriend, making light of what he’d just said. Plus, I couldn’t resist teasing him. “Remind me again when I agreed to that, how long has it been now?”
He had the good grace to blush, but he gazed back at me not bothering to hide it. “Hmm, I suppose it’s been, what, about ten seconds now?”
“Hmm, yes, I suppose it has.” I leaned up and gave him a light kiss. “Lucky for you, I’ve always had a thing for bad boys. Now come on Romeo, I’m starved.”
“Me, too, Serious. Me, too.” From the way he looked me up and down, I could tell he didn’t mean food. I gave him a look like, really? I mean, come on, now wasn’t exactly the ideal time to get lost in making out. Or maybe it was. What would I know about it, anyway? But he got my meaning and opened the door, gesturing for me to enter first.
Whatever his parents were, they’d certainly raised a gentleman. That had to count for something. At least, I fervently hoped so.
We joined Vala and Alec at the table. I started to dig in, but Vala gave a slight cough and nodded at Alec, who had bowed his head.
What was it with fae and the whole grace thing? My mom had never bothered with it. I was starting to get the idea that maybe she was a lapsed fae. Was that even a thing, like a Catholic who stopped going to church?
Alec’s deep voice washed over the table. I felt graced alright, just by the musical lilt of his voice and his presence.
“We accept this feast today with gratitude to all the beings who contributed to its bounty, the animals and plants, the farmers and the land itself. May it fill our hearts, bodies and minds with the blessings and the radiance of Aeden, aho-em.”
I couldn’t help but think back to Sullivan Carey’s grace just days before, and how different it was.
“Penny for your thoughts, Siri?” Vala asked as she passed around a huge bowl of Caesar salad.
“I was just thinking back to the last time I heard a fae say grace. Do all fae say grace in Aeden?” I looked at Alec as I spooned the fruit salad onto my plate, making sure I gave myself an overabundance of strawberry and mango.
“We all bless our food in pretty much the same way. When we make our food, we also usually bless and energize it.”
I looked at Rowan, wondering if I should share what I’d noticed. But surely he had noticed, too?
“But, well, you talked about thanks and gratitude. The other fae I heard thanked his Lord for dominion over the earth and for his help in seeking the light.”
“Dark fae.” Alec sneered, his knuckles turning white as his hand tightened around the salad tongs.
“Easy, Alec,” Vala cautioned, “You don’t want to bruise the fruit, now, do you?”
He let up on the tongs, but he and Rowan continued to glare at each other.
“Okay,” I plowed on, “but now I am wondering who is the Lord that they were thanking – was it a deity all the fae worship, or is it someone like Mikael, the man who’s currently holding my mom prisoner?” Rowan looked stunned, like he had never thought about it. And he probably hadn’t.
“It’s just grace, Siri. My dad says the same thing at every meal.”
“Yeah, but think about it. It sounds all nice and god-like, but even before I knew Sully was Dark fae it creeped me out a little. I thought you guys were Lutheran or something with all that talk about dominion and toil.”
Rowan’s face tightened in anger. I gave him an apologetic look and shrugged.
“Look, I don’t want to upset you, I’m just curious, okay?” I turned to Alec, “My mom never said grace, except at Thanksgiving. This is all still so new to me. But it seems obvious now that when his dad spoke about finding the light with the Lord’s blessing, he was actually talking about finding Light fae, not radiance like you just talked about. So who is this Lord? Is it a god or a person?”
“As far as I know, no fae believe in any specific god. Not the Dark, and not the Light. We believe in Spirit, a unifying energy behind all existence and matter, and we are able to harness that energy, but any Lord Sullivan mentioned probably had to do with the leader of the Dark fae council. Here in the Americas, that would be Mikael.”
I blanched.
“Every continent has their own council,” Alec continued. “Each leader of the local council serves on a high council that rules all Shades. There is no one leader of the Shades, they all mistrust each other too much to bow to one leader. Our intel, however, indicates that Mikael would like to change all that.”
“And you think my father is helping him with that? You think my family is part of this, that the Shades hunt Light fae for fun?”
“Easy Rowan, no one’s talking about your family.” I tried to reassure him, “Alec is just telling me what he knows about the Dark council.”
“Actually,” admonished Alec, “the Dark do hunt the light for fun. Every Shade warrior that I’ve gone up against seems to thoroughly enjoy the pain they inflict on the innocent, whether they are Light
fae or just unlucky humans who’ve gotten in the way.” Anguish flitted across his face, there and gone so quickly I could almost believe I’d imagined it. “If your father is working with Mikael, then he is directly involved in the hunting of Light fae.”
“Alec.” Vala shook her head in warning. “This is not the time.”
“Really, Vala, then when is the time? I’m not going to lie to her, and I’m not going to let this darkling get away with believing whatever crap his parents have told him; she asked a question and she deserves an honest answer. The Light does not shield faelings from the truth, no matter how painful or ugly it might be. We give them the benefit of an upbringing steeped in truth and honesty.”
He turned to me, searing me with a look that managed to both freeze me and set me on fire at the same. His natural easy manner was gone, and all that was left was a cold, hard fighter. It was a look that I was familiar with, a look I’d come across in tournament after tournament, a look that told me there would be no quarter given, no easy win, no mercy. It was a look I knew, because it was a look that I had used myself enough times.
“The fae have always been heart-centered, trusting, giving people. The Light fae still hold to those values. We are quick to forgive, and slow to hate.” He paused, and his gaze intensified. I had to hold myself still, refusing to squirm under his sudden scrutiny. “When love comes, it comes instantly. We hold nothing back.”
I swallowed, unable to tear my eyes away from his, yet knowing I totally should, because I could feel Rowan staring at me, too. I had to look away, it was only right that I look away. But I couldn’t.
“The Dark have taken everything that comes naturally to us and distorted it. Where we trust, they take advantage. Where we love, they consume. Where we forgive, they hate and seek revenge. Where we protect, they abuse. Where we value honesty, they lie. Where we seek harmony, they sow discord and lust for power. There is nothing honorable left in the Dark. They have twisted everything that we hold dear. Every Light fae who has ever trusted a Shade has come to regret it.”
He turned and speared Rowan with a pitying look, and I followed his gaze, helpless to watch. “Every. Single. One.”
Rowan looked back at him with pure hate, his eyes the darkest midnight.
“That will never happen.” He ground out. “I will never give Siri a reason to regret trusting me. She is everything to me, more important than my family, more important than anything on the planet.”
“And that is how you will fail her.” Alec whispered. “No Light fae would ever even think to make such a promise. Nothing is more important than our charge. Nothing is more important than the whole of the planet. It is the core of our soul.” He looked back at me, pleading with me to understand, apology clear in his eyes for the pain he knew he’d caused. “Our love for every facet of the Earth is the same as our love for ourselves, for our mates, for our children. We cannot separate ourselves from that love because it is all of who and what we are. So you see, you can never keep the promises you are making, because the very nature of them betrays you for what you really are.”
Rowan held on to the edge of the table like it was supporting him, his knuckles turning white in his grip. I could tell he was just moments away from launching himself at Alec. Vala saved the day with a gentle cough as she rose from the table, clearing her and Rowan’s plates.
“Alec, can you grab Siri’s plate please? The second course should be ready now.” Somehow she managed to sound like nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
Rowan and I were left in at the table in a wake of awkwardness. I played with my napkin, wondering how I could improve the situation.
“It’s not true, you know. That won’t ever happen. I won’t let it happen, what he said.” Rowan’s words tumbled over themselves in rush, filling the space of our silence.
“I know,” I answered. “I do trust you. But I get what he’s saying, too. Now that I’ve started to connect with my abilities, now that I can feel the energy coming from the plants and the earth…I know what he means. It’s like everything is a part of me. I can’t imagine wanting to strip-mine the planet or cause anything living pain. I’m not even sure how much longer I’ll be able to continue eating meat, at this rate. It’s like even the fruit salad has a heartbeat.”
“I can’t feel what you’re feeling, not yet. But I know that I want to. And I know that I feel more for you than anyone I’ve ever met before. There is no place I’d rather be than by your side Siri, I swear it.”
“I know, Rowan. I believe you,” I replied. I feared it might not be enough. But what could I say? He was making promises against the future, and neither of us had any idea what that really meant.
Alec and Vala came back into the room, Vala making a big fuss over presenting the steaming strawberry-stuffed French toast and pure Vermont maple syrup, trying to smooth over the previous awkwardness. Alec attacked his plate for the rest of his meal, eating several helpings of breakfast, which was probably for the best since it left his mouth too full to talk. The rest of us tried to maintain a stilted conversation centered around the work with plants that Vala did on the estate.
Brunch ended, and it was time for us to go. I went upstairs, took a quick shower and changed, putting on my favorite skinny jeans, my silver hi-tops, a tank top and hoodie. In Arizona a lot of my friends had driven motorcycles; since the weather was always fair there it was the perfect cheap ride for a teenager. I was looking forward to being on one again. At least the weather was warm and sunny, as good as you could get for October in Vermont. Everything was happening so quickly. I wasn’t even sure where we were headed.
Rowan was sitting at the bottom of the stairs when I returned. He watched me walk down the steps, drinking me in like he was trying to memorize my face, like it was the last time he would ever see me. Maybe it was.
“They’re waiting outside. I think Vala is giving him some last minute tips.”
Words eluded me, so I just gave him a tight smile. I was nervous and excited all at the same time. I was scared to lose him, to lose my mom, and Rose, and the new life I had just started getting used to. I wasn’t ready to shift gears so suddenly, not yet. I wasn’t sure what awaited me. I was excited to meet my dad, I knew that much. But everything else was just a big question mark to me right now.
He stood up when I reached the bottom step, holding me close.
“You don’t have to do this, you know. You don’t have to go with him. We can go somewhere, just you and me. We can leave all of this behind. The Light, the Dark, everything. Just go somewhere where no one knows us.”
For a moment, my heart leapt at the idea. I could still have a normal life. Go to school. Hang out. Get a job.
Reality crashed back, accompanied by the butterflies on my stomach that I always felt when Rowan was near. The butterflies reminding me who he was, and who I was. Fluttering softly, whispering that I’d never see my mom again if I did what he was asking of me.
I hugged him as tight as I could, never wanting to let him go.
“You know I can’t.” I sighed, resting my cheek against his chest. I could hear his heart beating strongly. “I have to go. But I will be thinking of you every day, I promise. Do cell phones even work in Aeden?” I half-groaned, half laughed.
“I don’t think so,” he chuckled. “Vala should be able to get any messages to me though, through the waters.”
I breathed in his scent one last time, trying to memorize it, the underlying spiciness, the warmth of him. Even if he couldn’t come with me, I wanted to carry that feeling with me, wherever I was headed. I gave him another squeeze, and separated myself from his arms.
I took a deep breath, and opened the door to walk outside. This was it. I knew that the moment I stepped outside this house, things would never be the same. Everything was changing so much, there had been so many shifts to the fabric of my reality. And today, now, here was another one.
The sun had come out in full force, and for a moment I was blinded by its r
adiance. I held a hand up over my eyes and stepped out into the driveway, into my future.