“Are you okay?” I took a cautious step forward.
“Leave me alone.” He spit into the grass not bothering to look at me.
I wanted to leave him alone. I should leave him alone. But I didn’t think I could leave him alone. After a few minutes of me standing there staring at him, Noah peered at me sideways, hands still clutched around his knees. His chest heaved as he stood up. His advance was so sudden my feet pedaled backward awkwardly. I was about to fall into the shrubs when his arm shot out and saved the pink Hibiscus from getting crushed by my backside. His grip was surprisingly strong for someone who seconds before could barely keep himself upright.
“Stop it,” he said. “Stop making that sound.” I’d never heard a whisper sound so harsh, and it had the same effect as stuffing a sock in my mouth. I hadn’t realized I was humming.
“I can’t help it.” Well, crap. I was about to cry. I blinked before the tears could fall, and my head shook back and forth in denial. Of what, I didn’t know.
“Noah? Are you out here?”
Noah dropped my arm at the sound of Erin’s voice, but I could still feel the imprint where his fingers had gripped me so tightly. I took a shuddering breath, unable to take my eyes off his. I shifted nervously, thinking he could see all that was wrong with me. Erin moved into my peripheral vision. Noah was the first to look away.
“What were you thinking, Noah?” Erin’s eyes shifted between us before settling into a knowing expression. “Showing off? That’s what that was about?”
“Leave it alone.” Noah turned away and lurched down the path that led to the dock. I squashed my absurd desire to follow him.
“You gonna be okay?” she yelled after him, concern getting the best of her. The shadow of his arm lifted in goodbye.
“Where is he going?” I asked. Beneath the dock water lapped in the darkness.
“Home, I guess.” She started back up the stone path toward the house and I was caught in the middle, uncertain whom to follow.
“Do you think he’ll be all right?” I fell into step behind her, casting concerned glances over my shoulder.
“Yeah.” She didn’t sound all that convinced. “Noah can take care of himself.”
I wasn’t so sure. I could see him teetering on the end of the dock. His dive lacked its usual elegance.
“Did he just jump in the water?”
She grabbed my arm and tugged me toward the house.
“His house is close,” Erin said as if that was an answer.
I turned for one last look. He was gone, lost in the dark. And because I had to know, I asked, “You two aren’t like talking, are you?”
She stopped and the darkness couldn’t conceal the haunted look in her eyes. “I was married to his brother.”
* * *
“This is Jamie.”
I took the picture from Erin’s hand. After I’d followed her up to the house, totally dumbstruck, she had brought me to her room. I sat on her bed, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“He’s dead.” The words held a note of disbelief, as though she had never said them out loud. I could see why Ally hadn’t wanted to share this story. I didn’t think I wanted to hear it anymore.
I stared at the photograph and felt a pinch of guilt. My first reaction when she’d said she’d been married to his brother had been total shock, but I’d also been relieved to learn there was nothing romantic going on between her and Noah. Kind of pathetic.
The picture was of the two of them on the beach, the Gulf sparkling in the background. Erin wasn’t smiling, but she looked so content with her head resting on Jamie’s shoulder as though she could stay that way forever. Jamie smiled under a pair of eyes much like Noah’s, so light a shade of green they were almost gray. His hair was cut short, military style.
“I don’t know what to say.” A heavy weight of sadness fell on my shoulders. Jamie looked so young. They both did. Erin sat beside me and I couldn’t fathom what she must be feeling.
“I knew the first time I saw him that I would love him forever.” Her voice was wistful as though it was a day she found comfort in remembering. “Forever turned out not to be very long.”
“How old were you?”
“I was sixteen when we met. Had just turned seventeen when we got married.”
“Your parents let you get married that young?” As soon as the question was out of my mouth, I knew what her answer would be.
“I was pregnant.”
For the first time I heard a hitch in her voice. I looked over at her but her eyes held steady on Jamie’s image. There were no signs of a baby living in the house. No high chair or playpen, no tiny shoes lying around under packs of Pampers. My heart sank.
“She was premature. Couldn’t hold on.” Her arms crossed over her stomach as if she could still protect the baby she had carried. “Jamie never knew. And then he didn’t come back.” Her eyes shone with unspeakable sadness. I had no words, so we sat there in shared silence.
“You looked really good together,” I finally said. “Happy.” And with Noah’s dead brother smiling at me, I forgave him for being such a jerk.
“Yeah,” she said, running a finger over the image. “We both took it hard, Noah especially. We avoided each other for a while. They’re a lot alike and it was too hard to be around him. I cried all the time and I think that made it worse for Noah. Then he left, and I was mad all over again because he was my last link to Jamie.”
“What do you mean he left?”
She shrugged. “I guess he needed to get away. Tonight was the first time I’ve seen Noah in more than five months.”
“I’m sorry, Erin.” Sometimes words were hollow, empty sounds. I stood and placed the picture back on the dresser.
“Yeah, me too.” Her eyes were wide, face pale, making her look vulnerable.
Pink ruffles bordered the cream bedspread, accenting the pink walls—a little girl’s room, not the room of a widow who’d lost not only a husband but a baby too.
“You don’t have to be weird around me. I’m okay now. I mean, I won’t ever get over it fully. But I’ve learned to live with it.”
I could only nod as she maneuvered around me.
“I want to show you something.” She reached for the white jewelry box sitting next to the picture. A twinkling tune played when she opened the box and revealed the pink satin lining inside. She pulled open a small drawer. Resting inside was a bracelet. She seemed hesitant to touch it as though, if she did, it would disappear.
Finally, she picked it up and with the greatest of care placed it in the palm of her hand. It reminded me of the bracelets that Noah wore except the pearls were pea-sized and white with a hint of pink swirling over the smooth surface. The braided leather made a small circle, tiny in her palm. Baby-sized. I felt a tight squeeze of my heart.
“Noah made it,” she said, running a finger over each pearl as though it was a precious treasure, and I supposed it was. “This was the second one he made. We buried her in the first one.”
A lump formed in my throat and I blinked, barely able to staunch the tears.
“He made this one for me as a keepsake.”
“It’s beautiful,” I said. I thought about Noah’s big hands, the patience it must have taken to create something so delicate and feminine.
Her fingers closed around the keepsake, holding it tight before she put it back in the jewelry box. She closed the lid, putting an end to the tune and a heavy silence took its place. When Erin turned around to face me, it was as if she had closed the lid on her grief too.
“Noah’s like a brother to me.” Her eyes took on a dark edge, the wistful tone of a few seconds ago gone, replaced with a warning. “I don’t want to see him hurt anymore.”
“I don’t blame you.” I felt my defenses rise. I didn’t want to see him hurt anymore either. The thought of anyone hurting Noah set my teeth on edge. “But why are you warning me? This is kind of a warning, isn’t it? He doesn’t even like me, if you hadn’t notice
d.”
“I’ve noticed,” she said with a huff of laughter as though she disagreed. “He sure didn’t come here tonight to see me.”
I became lost in the implications of that thought and decided there was no way it was even true. He would have had no way to know I was even here.
“Listen, Caris,” she said, forcing me out of my interlude. “All I’m saying is, with Noah, be careful. His is a complicated life.”
Now it was my turn to huff. “Trust me, I’m not looking for complications.” I had enough of those, half of which I didn’t even understand.
And I didn’t feel much like a party anymore especially after what Erin had shared with me. “Thanks Erin for, you know, sharing. You don’t even really know me all that well and…” I shrugged, at a loss for words. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. You would have heard about it anyway. Plus, Noah likes you.”
I followed her back down the stairs, prepared to duck out the front door instead of going back out to the party. “I think you’re reading this one all wrong. I’m pretty sure he hates me.”
“Well,” she turned on me when she got to the bottom of the steps, a speculative gleam in her eyes like she had devised some master plan to prove me wrong, “let’s put my theory to the test. I know he’ll be at work tomorrow, so why don’t you come around noon and hang with me and Ally. You can eat lunch with us. Unless you have other stuff to do.”
Oh, yeah. I had so much to do. “Maybe,” I said as she let me out the front door, ignoring the thrill I felt at the thought if seeing Noah again.
My bike was parked next to the garage and I hadn’t bothered to lock it up. In this neighborhood, I didn’t feel the need to. As I passed by a certain black Range Rover on my way out of the driveway, I caught sight of a golden tail still hanging from the mirror. My hands tightened on my handlebars and I skidded to a stop. The street was empty. I didn’t see anyone walking around the house from the back. If I did this, I would have to hurry before I lost my nerve. I had never stolen anything before. Not that I considered this stealing. I just hoped Jax was the type to leave his car unlocked. I rolled my eyes heavenward when the door opened and no alarm went off. The interior still had a new car smell, and I quickly unwound Noah’s hair.
“Dumbass,” I muttered when I saw Jax’s wallet on the seat. I was back on my bike in less than thirty seconds with my stolen booty and a goofy grin on my face.
Ten
Noah
I took to the beach behind the aquarium, not really expecting to find anybody. I still stunk of chlorine and "stupid" might as well be my middle name. I’d managed to humiliate myself in front of Miss Friggin Disney Princess twice in one week. This time I had no one to blame but myself.
I’d let Jax get to me. Again.
The upside was that I had gotten a chance to talk to Erin. It had gone better than I'd hoped. Before I had left, every time we had seen each other, one or both of us would end up breaking down. But there had been a peace between us tonight, an acceptance of what neither of us could change. And more importantly, no tears. Not even when she’d given me one of Jamie’s old t-shirts to wear. I still had it balled in my fist.
My intent had been to do a quick check on Ellie before I went home. She’d been lethargic today and had barely eaten and I was worried about her.
The beach wasn’t empty, though. Jeb sat by a small fire and the smell of frying fish hung in the air, drawing me in. Daniel and Quinn had dug themselves lounge chairs in the sand and were lying back, half tangled together. If they were surprised to see me, they didn’t show it.
“What’s up, Noah?” Quinn held her hand out, as did Daniel.
“Good to see you guys.” I walked over and slapped both before plopping down in the empty chair beside Jeb.
I felt like I’d swum to Mexico and back. The smell of fish frying over an open flame made my stomach growl and my mouth water. Jeb leaned over the fire, poking the fish with a stick. He sniffed me.
“You smell like chlorine.” He dug into the cooler beside his chair with his free hand and tossed me a beer. “You been in a pool?”
“Don’t ask.” I popped the lid and drank all twelve ounces in one long swig.
“Take it easy. If you were stupid enough to fall in a pool, that won’t help.” Jeb poked at the fish some more, eyeing me through the smoking fire.
“Yes, mother.” I let my head fall back and my eyes closed, the sound of my laugh full of self-deprecation. I wasn’t just stupid. I was a certifiable idiot. The humiliation still stung. But I was among friends now. My own kind.
“Who’s cooking?” If Jeb was firing up behind the aquarium it could only mean he’d been doing some lazy man’s fishing. Or in other words, he’d speared a fish from one of the exhibits.
“One-eyed Joe.” Jeb actually sounded sad.
I lifted my head. “You murdered One-eyed Joe?”
One-eyed Joe was a black grouper who had survived a previous attempt to make him the guest of honor at one of our cookouts. The spear had put one of his eyes out but not his life, so we’d decided he had earned the right to live. He’d become one of the untouchables.
“He was already belly up dead when I got here this morning. This is his wake,” Jeb said.
“Well, he smells damn good. Is he done? I’m starving,” Daniel said, prying himself away from Quinn. He grabbed a chair and scooted it closer to the fire.
“Here.” Quinn had gotten up and was holding a tray loaded with tortillas and slaw—which she was famous for making—and hot sauce. All the fixings for fish tacos. We each grabbed a tortilla. Jeb forked out thick chunks of flakey white flesh, and it was the best food I’d eaten since I’d come home.
Jeb chunked me another beer. Quinn and Daniel fed each other bites of fish, her strawberry blonde hair—more strawberry than blonde—reflecting the light flickering off the fire. For some reason it made me think of her. I could hear her again. She was happy and content, a feeling I hadn’t gotten from her in a few days.
“Who’s the girl?”
“What?” I cut my eyes at Jeb. Was he reading my mind?
“The one who put that smile on your face.” He laughed and held up another beer.
“Nah, I’m good.” Was I smiling? “What makes you think there’s a girl?
“Because if I just spent five months in the Deep, the first thing I’d be looking for was a girl. Tell me you found one, a generous one,” Jeb said around a mouthful of taco. Why the hell was everyone suddenly so interested in my sex life?
“Do tell, Noah.” Sol Kelley’s hard-edged voice cut through the darkness.
My jaw clenched. Just when I thought this night was getting better, it got worse.
“How does one go about shagging a dolphin? I’ve always wondered.”
“What are you doing here, Sol?” I was too tired to deal with Sol. The last time I had seen Sol we’d nearly come to blows. He’d said something about Jamie being a traitor to his kind. Some stupid shit about us being at war with the government. I thought it was kind of hard to be at war with a government that didn’t technically recognize us a species.
“I’m genuinely curious.” Sol tossed a small package to Daniel, then Jeb, like he was playing corn hole, that game the tourists played on the beach.
“Really?” I peered through the dying smoke at all three of them. “You’re buying from Sol?”
Daniel shrugged and held the package to his nose. “He does have the best shit.”
“Here, Noah. My treat.” Sol dropped a tightly wrapped plastic bag into my lap. “You look like you could use it.”
“No thanks.” I immediately tossed it back and he caught it with a deft hand.
“Relax, Noah. It’s just dreamweed. Nothing illegal about it,” Jeb said, as if that was supposed to make me feel better.
I wasn’t generally opposed to weed of any kind; I was generally opposed to Sol.
“The illegal stuff’s back on my boat. I can get you something if you want.”
&
nbsp; I didn’t bother to answer and instead pushed from my chair. I’d been sitting too long anyway. “I’m going to check on Ellie.”
“Can we come watch?” Sol said to my retreating back.
I really hated Sol’s laugh. I ignored him and started making my way up the beach toward the aquarium, but his next words stopped me in my tracks.
“Hey, Noah. Does this girl have short hair and a sexy voice?”
Something wild swelled in my chest, a feeling so strong it threatened to consume me. This overwhelming need to protect her was like a fire in my blood. I slowly turned around as Sol backed toward the water, a mocking smile on his face.
What did he hear? What did he feel?
I stalked after him, not even knowing what I intended to do once I got my hands on him. Wrap them around his throat? Even after he turned and disappeared in the surf, I kept going. I didn’t feel like myself. I didn’t feel human at all, my reaction almost mindless. He hadn’t even said anything all that offensive. Not really. But something in me recognized him as a threat.
“Noah?” Jeb’s grip was tight on my biceps.
I fought against Jeb’s hold. Daniel’s hands were on me too, and he said something to me, but I didn’t understand his words. All I could hear was her, Caris, and the pounding of my heart. I knew it was a possibility, that someone else might share a connection with her. I just hadn’t expected to feel this primitive need to fight him for her.
“I’m okay,” I was finally able to say, jerking free of their grasp. They stared at me as if they didn’t recognize me. I swallowed through the scratchiness in my throat. Had I been yelling?
“I’m okay,” I said again. I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince, them or me. I needed to check on Ellie. I needed off this beach. I needed this to stop. She was driving me crazy.
Quinn watched wide-eyed as I walked past. Daniel shadow stepped between us as though he didn’t want me too close to her.
Waterborn (The Emerald Series Book 1) Page 8