“Seventeen years,” he said.
They had been long years by the sound of his voice.
Well, this was just great. My mom and Caris’s dad, long lost friends. This didn’t look and feel like a mere friendship, though. It took more than friendship to create the lost, almost desperate look clouding Mr. Harper’s eyes. His was the look of shared secrets that had been kept for too long.
My mom’s haunted gaze found mine. “Noah, this is…”
“We met the other day,” Mr. Harper cut in. “He brought my daughter home. Apparently they’ve become friends.”
“She said that?” I didn’t know why it should surprise me she would call us friends. I mean, I wanted to be her friend. Friends worked for me.
“She’s here?”
I turned toward my mom at the breathless awe in her voice. She had her hand splayed over her chest and her eyes were suddenly misty. A sinking feeling developed in my stomach.
“Yes,” he answered, a singular cry for help if I had ever heard one.
I knew my mom, and I knew what her sigh meant. Nothing good.
“Well, in that case, Noah, you should probably hear this.” She pushed the door open, inviting Mr. Harper inside.
See? Why think about the future when it was just as likely to punch you in the gut. I had the feeling I was about to get punched. Hard.
* * *
I stood by the back door watching the waves turn over in the distance. My mom and Mr. Harper were sitting on the couch behind me. Talking. Endless talking about a woman named Rena that my mom had at one point referred to as a sister. My hands pressed against the glass, close to the point of breaking it, until Mr. Harper’s words penetrated my roaring thoughts: foster sister. They had fostered this girl who’d had nowhere else to go. More words about the thing that had been done to her, and the baby she’d carried. I didn’t want to hear another word they said. I hated their words, but I listened to every one, letting them settle like blocks of ice in my stomach.
I couldn’t keep these words from Caris. I wouldn’t keep these words from her.
Then I heard the fevered pitch of her Song. A Song that was my name. An urgent Song. A dying Song.
The next thing I knew the glass door shattered, pricking my skin in a thousand places. I ran right through it. My legs pumped feverishly over the sand, then hurled me into a crashing wave. I bulleted toward her, toward the sound of her waning Song. A minute passed then another, and still, I swam. How was she even out here? Why was she out here? My eyes and ears searched through the hazy, green Deep until something flashed and caught my attention. Her feet were planted in the sandy bottom, hair floating in a halo around her head, and her arms were spread wide at her sides. Red and gold beads floated garishly next to her pale skin. Her eyes were wide and unblinking.
I surged toward her, mouth crashing into hers, forcing air between her lips. I breathed into her again and still she didn’t respond. I wrapped her arms around my neck and we burst through the surface of the water.
“Caris.” I turned her over and breathed into her again. Relief flooded my arms and legs when I heard her sputtered breath. I held her while she coughed and spat.
“Noah?” She turned, flailing in my arms, fighting the hold I had on her.
“I’ve got you,” I said, as much to reassure myself as her. “I’ve got you.”
Her fingers grasped the tops of my shoulders. My hands clutched her waist as my legs worked to keep us afloat. Whatever held her didn’t want to let go. Shore was a good five hundred yards away, and the dark water chopped around our shoulders.
Slowly, she became aware of where we were. Her eyes darted around, wide and unfocused. Her fingers bit into my shoulders, breaking the skin.
“Oh my God.” She hung on the verge of hyperventilating, each word uttered on a shallow breath of panic.
“Caris, look at me.” I willed calm into my voice, waiting for her to focus on my face. It took a few seconds, but finally her eyes drifted to mine. “I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything bad happen. Do you hear me?”
She nodded her head, her bottom lip quivering. “Yes. But why are we here? How…”
“I don’t know, but it will be okay. I’m just going to swim us back to shore. It’s that simple.”
She pulled herself closer to me as her eyes scoured the water. “What about sharks?”
Despite my still pounding heart and her mask of abject terror at finding herself in such an impossible place, I wanted to kiss her. Maybe it was because she looked so scared that I wanted to kiss her. Wanted to pull her against me and press my face into her neck, even knowing now who she was.
I smiled. “There are no sharks.”
“How do you know?” Her whole body trembled as she forced the words past quaking lips.
“Because I do. Now are you ready, or do you want to stay out here until it gets dark?”
She shot a crazed look at the setting sun. It was almost flat to the horizon, on the verge of being swallowed.
“Noah?” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t know how I got here.”
I didn’t understand the glazed unfocused look in her eyes until I saw the cut on her neck.
“I do.” Fury colored my words. “But it’s okay now. I’m going to take you home.”
* * *
It was dark by the time I carried her onto the beach behind her house. The swim had been awkward at first with me unable to dive when that would have been so much faster. As it was, it took over an hour and it had grown fully dark. Thankfully, she dozed most of the time. I knew Sol’s handy work. If it was him who had cut her, she had a good dose of dreamweed in her system. I should thank him, but I would rather kill him.
I set her down on the sand. A round moon, almost full, rose in the sky. I gritted my teeth when I saw what she was wearing. One of the strings on her bottoms was about to come untied. She’d worn this on the boat? My fingers shook, but I managed to tie it back.
“Are you going to say I told you so?” Her face tilted up, round eyes reflecting the silver moon.
“No.” I peeled a strip of wet hair off her cheek. Her skin felt cold under my fingers. I hoped she wasn’t in shock. “Are you okay?”
Her lips trembled as she searched for an answer. The bottom one had a small cut and was swollen from where my mouth had hit hers too hard.
“I don’t know how to answer that.” Her eyes lifted to the Gulf where waves crashed in quick succession. “I don’t think I am.”
Her Song matched the confusion swimming in her eyes. She kept sending the Gulf imploring looks, greedy and hungry, as though she wanted nothing but to go back out there. I pushed to my feet, standing over her, dripping water. The flick of a light from her house caught my eye. Good. Her dad was home.
Her eyes raked up my legs and skimmed my torso before settling on my face. Her breath came heavy and her mouth fell open as she looked at me as though she didn’t know who I was. She looked afraid of me, which was so damn ironic I wanted to laugh, but I was pretty sure that would have made it worse.
“You found me. How did you do that?” She rubbed her arms, eyes darting around like she still wasn’t sure how she'd gotten here. “What’s happening to me?”
Saving her today had been the easy part.
“Caris, you should go talk to your dad.” I had thought I could tell her, but she needed her dad, someone she loved and trusted. And Maggie was right. I was a coward.
She struggled to get to her feet and I watched, afraid to reach out and touch her. Afraid I wouldn’t be able to let her go if I did.
“What’s wrong with me?”
It had to be an illusion the way the moonlight hit her skin, highlighting the energy that visibly flowed through her, like the exposure to the water had been the key to unlocking her true self. She practically glowed as her body finally accepted what she was. She was beautiful. And for the space of a few thudding heartbeats, I couldn’t look away. I swallowed, forcing my gaze over her shoulder
. I didn’t know how to make this easier.
“You really need to go ask your dad.” I stepped back, feet sinking into the sand as a wave washed over them.
“Noah, I’m asking you.” Somehow that silent Song combined with her voice and I nearly doubled over at the impact it had on me. It hurt to hear her and not do what she asked. A part of me wanted to recoil in fear. How could I not after what her dad had told me?
“Caris, are you out here?” Mr. Harper’s voice tunneled through the dunes. Caris whirled around. I saw her shiver from where I stood. I started my retreat. As much as I hated it, I had to get away.
“Talk to him,” I said, prodding her forward. “If you call me, I’ll come.”
She turned back around, eyes full of questions that I didn’t have the right to answer.
“It will be all right.” I couldn’t wait any longer. I hit the water on a surge of pure need. The need to escape the haunted look in her eyes, the need to escape to the solace the Deep provided.
She might not want to lure me to my death with her Song, but she still had the ability to rip my heart out.
Fifteen
Caris
I dreamed crazy dreams, bordering on nightmares. At least I thought they were dreams. Writhing eels, the pitch and roll of a boat, thick fog that clouded my brain. The prick of pain on my neck.
Do you even know what you are?
A voice that came from far away, demanding an answer.
My eyes were slow to open, gritty with salt and sand. Heart racing, I tried to sit up, but my arms didn’t want to move. My head pounded, a drumbeat echoing between my ears. It took me a few seconds to realize it wasn’t drums, but the sound of the waves rolling over, rolling through me.
Noah.
He had come. He had saved me and brought me to the beach. Or did I dream that too? I wasn’t at the beach now. Soft cushions, warm blanket, and cool air blowing from the air conditioning.
No, not the beach.
I blinked away the fuzziness, forcing my eyes to focus. My dad sat in one of the blue chairs across from me, hair ruffled, eyes set in worried lines. He held a glass on one knee, the amber liquid catching the light of the single lamp. I had never seen my dad drink anything other than red wine or beer. He looked disheveled and scared. What had Noah told him? What was I going to tell him?
Something wasn’t right. Something Noah had been too afraid to tell me. He’d left me staring after him in confusion as he’d lost himself in the surf. I had followed my dad back to the house and collapsed on the couch. For all the world, I hadn't been able to stay awake.
“How do you feel?” My dad’s tone along with the lines on his face prompted me to sit up, forcing my body through its tired protest of moving at all. The couch rocked under me as though I were still out there being tossed by the waves, my legs shackled to the bottom of the Gulf.
“Thirsty.” Cotton filled my mouth, making my tongue feel thick. It was hard to swallow. Water. I needed water.
“Here, drink this.” He slid a glass of water across the coffee table.
My fingers curled around the glass. I ignored the water dripping over my chin. As I drank, my mind worked in circles trying to remember exactly what had happened. I remembered floating. No, I remembered sinking. I remembered calling Noah’s name, knowing it was too late. How had he found me?
“What were you doing out there?”
It wasn’t so much a question as rumination, as though he already had the answer and was waiting for me to verify it.
“I don’t know. It was an accident.” My voice cracked with uncertainty. What else could it have been? One minute I was king of the world and the next… Hell, it was as if someone had slipped me a roofie.
I lifted my hand, tracing a two-inch scab down the side of my throat. My dad’s eyes followed the path of my fingers. Anger hardened his eyes and the glass shook in his hand, ice clinking together.
“I’m sorry, Caris. I haven’t handled this very well.” His glass hit the table with a decided thud. He ran his hand over the top of his head, making his hair stick up on end.
“What are you talking about?” I pulled the blanket up under my chin. I wore a long sleeved cotton t-shirt he must have put on me. The smell of my dad’s cologne wrapped me in a cloud of familiar comfort.
“You. Your mother. Who you are.” His blue eyes met mine, so cold and stark. “What you are.”
Do you even know what you are?
I saw them again—black eyes, lips curled in a cruel smile. He had cut me, that guy on the boat. Why would he have done that? Where was Erin? I remembered Jax holding on to me, then letting go. Had they just left me in the middle of the Gulf on the orders of some modern-day pirate?
“I don’t understand.”
“First, I need you to know that I love you, Caris. I need you to believe that.” He clasped his fists together in supplication.
I nodded my head. “I know, Daddy. I love you, too. Now tell me what’s going on.”
“I’ve practiced this over and over but there’s no easy way to tell you this. Though I suspect you feel it already. So, I’ll just speak as plain as I can.”
“You’re scaring me.” I sank into the cushions.
He leaned toward me, pinning me with the intensity in his eyes as if he could force whatever it was he needed to say into my brain without having to speak the words. I couldn’t imagine what could be so bad to warrant the look on his face.
“Your mother, she was not quite human.” He let out a shaky breath, jaw set in determination. “That’s not quite right. She was human, only more. She was one of the waterborn, a species of humans with genetic traits that make them adaptable to life in the water.” His gaze never faltered, and his mouth was carved in a serious line. I waited for it to crack into a smile as a nervous laugh escaped my lips. Was he joking?
“What are you talking about?” I tried hard to concentrate on his words, but something hummed under my skin, almost like an electric current that made it hard to sit still.
“I’m talking about people like your mother. You. You’re not merely human, Caris. You are a waterbreather. Quite literally, you were born with the ability to breathe water.”
“You do realize I almost drowned today. If it hadn’t been for Noah…” My voice faltered. I wasn’t so fuzzy headed anymore that I didn’t remember what Noah had done. Despite the absurdity of what my dad said, Noah had somehow found me at the bottom of the Gulf then he’d swum with me for miles on his back. And I had seen him that day with Ellie, staying under the water for an impossibly long period of time. I had thought then that there was something different about him—something otherworldly. Still, this was complete nonsense. What he was describing didn’t exist except in comic books and movies. “What you are saying is crazy.”
“What I’m saying is the truth. A truth I should have shared with you a long time ago.”
“What truth? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds? I can’t even swim. And I’m pretty sure I can’t breathe water.”
“You can. At least you will be able to soon. You can’t tell me you haven’t felt different since I brought you here. I see it in your face every day.”
“You’re not making any sense.” But he was. Something had wrapped around me that very first day I had walked out onto the beach, something left behind by the wind. I had been trying to peel it off ever since.
“You’ve been wearing a charm, a spell of sorts, to keep your breather traits dormant. It’s been weakening, and soon you’ll realize I’m telling you the truth.”
“Charm?” My hands bunched around the blanket and my ears filled with the hysteria in my laughter. I pushed off the couch, letting the blanket fall to the floor. This was growing more absurd by the minute. I really didn’t want to hear any more. I really wanted to escape to the Gulf, but despite being told I was born to be in the water, I couldn’t go there. My dad was crazy. He had to be to believe this stuff, and he did believe it. I was certain of that. But worse was that a p
art of me believed it too. And that part of me sighed in abandoned relief. The bigger part still thought my dad was having some kind of a breakdown.
“Even assuming what you are saying is true, why? Why keep this a secret? Why keep this from me?” I couldn’t believe we were even having this conversation, that I was contemplating being something that didn’t exist.
“Your mother wanted to protect you.”
“Protect me from what? Jaws? Ursula?”
“Not from what, but from whom.” With no acknowledgement of my attempt at sarcasm, he lifted the glass to his mouth and drained the rest of its contents.
I knew with certainty whatever else he had to say was going to change everything for us. For me. I walked very deliberately to the back door and stared through the glass, seeing nothing but a reflection of myself framed in the darkness beyond.
“Don’t say it,” I begged. He was about to rip the one constant in my life right out from under me; himself. Because if I were this thing he claimed me to be, I knew for certain he wasn’t.
“I have to.” His image joined mine in the glass as he stepped up behind me, a ghostly reflection. I sent a silent plea with my eyes. Don’t do this. My eyes shut tight as he uttered the words. “She wanted to protect you from your father.”
I never wanted to open my eyes again. But I had to. I had to look at him when he told me the whole of it. “You’re not my dad.”
“I am your dad in every way that counts, Caris. And nothing will change that. But the man who fathered you is a man named Athen Kelley. He is like you. Like your mother.”
We stared at one another in the glass. I waited for the hurt but it never came. I waited for the earth to crack open and swallow me up, but here I stood, staring at a man I didn’t know anymore. His words couldn’t penetrate my numbness. I wouldn’t let them. I blinked away the tears that insisted on burning the backs of my eyes. Time enough for those later when I was away from my fake dad. I took a few seconds to compose myself, swallowing the bile of emotion.
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