“For wanting our first time to be in the Deep. I didn’t think you’d be comfortable with that.”
“Seemed natural,” I said.
The most natural thing in the world. She’d held us in her hand, suspended in a bubble of want. I hadn’t thought about it before, but in the Deep there was no need to breathe, no coming up for air, just a constant fusion of mouths and bodies. And there had been that moment when the lyrical movement of Noah’s hips and the play of his fingers had coaxed my Song out of me and I thought there wasn’t a place in the whole Gulf of Mexico that hadn’t echoed with his name.
The sun peeked over his shoulder, watery light making a halo of his hair. He looked like a beautiful angel but the curve of his lips was devilish.
“As much as I’d like to stay here with you all day,” he said, dipping his head to place a kiss on my breast. I squirmed under the wet heat of his tongue and the tickle of his hair. He lifted his head and his eyes found mine. Regret laced his voice when he said, “I’m starving. And people might be worried about us.”
My hand curled around the back of his head, fingers lost in the silkiness of his hair. I wanted nothing more than to pull his head back down. And if he hadn’t mentioned other people, I would have. Food could wait, but my dad was no doubt going crazy with worry.
“My house or yours?” I asked, bemoaning the intrusion of the real world. I liked this one.
“I’m not taking you home to your dad naked. Definitely mine.” He pushed to his feet and for a moment I was frozen in place, staring at the sand clinging to his thighs and butt. It was like he’d been rolled in sugar. I really wanted to bite him. Sunlight streamed over him, highlighting his hair as it washed over his broad shoulders. He belonged right here, naked in the sunlight so comfortable in his own skin, beautiful, tongue-worthy skin. Was it supposed to be like this the morning after? I didn’t feel the least bit shy or embarrassed. Not the least bit awkward even though I was naked. My mouth quirked.
“What?”
“I don’t know. I just feel…” I didn’t know where I stopped and Noah started, more than joined bodies as though the Deep held us together. “Spiritual.”
His gaze fell on me, a blatant journey of his eyes. Sensation exploded over my skin everywhere his eyes touched, the heat of it burning all the way to my core.
“You look beautiful,” he said, his voice drawing my eyes upward over his rippled abs and the fine smooth skin of his chest.
My fingers curled around his hand. “You look really… carnal.” I’d marked him sometime during the night. The time when we’d done it on the beach for comparison. My eyes traced the scratches on his shoulder where I’d dug in with my fingers, deep enough to draw blood. His eyes followed mine.
“I hate to lose these. I like having your mark on me.”
“I can do it again if you’d like.”
“Oh, I’d like,” he said, tugging on my hand.
I looked around for our clothes. Memory hit in a wave of awareness.
“Did I just throw my bathing suit in the surf?”
“Yes,” he said on an expulsion of breath, letting his eyes close. “That alone blew my mind, but when you ripped my shorts off…”
“I did not rip your shorts off.” I kicked sand at him.
“Oh yes you did,” he said. “Not that I’m complaining. You can rip my shorts off anytime.”
I sprang off the ground. My fingers ached to touch him. “Well, right now you don’t have any.”
“How convenient.” Noah pulled me close and finally put his mouth on mine. It was just me and Noah and an empty stretch of beach and the breeze blowing around our naked bodies. I took his moan on my tongue and it mingled with mine, my breath coming fast and shallow.
“I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Me neither.” He kneaded my bottom, the firm pressure of his fingers on my cheeks, making my legs quiver. “Well, not for food anyway. Would you mind so much doing it again?”
“Mind?“ It was so damn sweet of him to ask. And hot. He burned under my hand. I teased his lips with my tongue and let my hand answer.
“I’m taking that as a yes.” He lifted me off the ground, my legs hugged his hips and he shifted his hands farther underneath me. “Here or out there?”
“Out there.” I squeezed my knees, pressing closer.
“Holy shit, Caris.” He stopped, hands on my hips, holding me in place. I rested my forehead against his. Our eyes locked. “You do that again, I’m not going to make it in the water.”
“Then you better hurry.” My mouth claimed his as he carried me into the surf.
* * *
By the time we surfaced behind his house, the beach was dotted with landers. Not like the tourist part of the beach, but it had to be after eight, and there was a handful of landers out for morning walks. It wasn’t like we could walk out of the water unnoticed, considering we were totally naked.
“So what do we do?” My legs straddled his back and I looked over his shoulder. He turned his head, meeting my mouth with his in a quick touch.
A sly smile spread across his face. “Well, they are on our beach.”
Okay, so maybe we could.
There was something so totally hot about walking out of the Gulf holding hands with a sun-water-sex god. For one fleeting moment I thought this was the way it should be, these landers shouldn’t be here. We were on the receiving end of a few sideways glances. One couple openly gawked. Noah winked at the older woman and she smiled appreciatively under the wide brim of her straw hat. A flock of gray and white seagulls spiraled overhead, disinterested.
Once we got closer to the house and farther from prying eyes, I jumped on Noah’s back. He hooked his arms under my knees and I rested my head on the back of his shoulder, his hair my wet pillow. He paused before stepping onto the back patio, spun around one direction and then the other, like a dog chasing his tail. I held on, laughing out loud, growing giddy with his quick movements.
“What are you doing?” I shrieked.
“I really want to see what you look like back there.”
I nipped at his shoulder. “Put me down, perv.”
“Nope. I got an idea.” He walked us up to the sliding back door. It wasn’t like looking in a mirror, but it was pretty darn close. Our reflection shone in the glass, and when he turned sideways I laid my head back down on his shoulder. My hair clung to my spine halfway to the curve of my bottom as I pressed intimately against his back. With Noah’s powerful thighs, his thick chest, and the horseshoe shaped ridge of his triceps under his round shoulders we looked like a sculpture, a piece of living art, Noah’s green eyes like precious stones.
“You’re beautiful,” he said when our eyes met in the glass.
“We’re beautiful.” God, I almost wanted to cry. If I’d had had my phone I would have taken a picture. The words sat there on tip the of my tongue. I love you. They remained unvoiced, hidden behind my smile.
“Do you think your mom is up?” I asked, hating to break this spell, but the last thing I wanted was Noah’s mom walking in and seeing us staring at ourselves naked in the window, no matter how hot it looked.
“I don’t know. I’ll check. You want to wait here?” He unhooked his arms and my feet found the ground.
“I’m definitely waiting here.”
He turned around and slapped a quick kiss on my lips, then opened the back door. “Be right back.”
I watched him through the glass. Well, mostly I watched his ass, his naked self as glorious as a sunrise. Not a single tan line, his whole body was this perfect shade of Goldilocks. Just right. I looked down at my own body. I didn’t have any tan lines either, something I hadn’t noticed until now. When I looked back up Noah stood in the doorway smiling at me.
“She’s not here.” He scooped me up and buddy carried me down the hall with his hand planted firmly over my backside.
“Noah, what are you doing?” I heard the spray of water as he walked into a bathroom filled with fresh ste
am. He put me down under a shower of hot water.
“Clothes are in the drawers. Pick whatever you want,” he said, eyes roving over me with a look of regret.
“You’re not staying?”
“My mom’s pretty progressive, but I don’t think she’d be happy to come home and find us in my shower.” He bent down and kissed me. “I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done.”
I thought he had left and reached for the bar of soap when he peeked his head back through the shower door, a mischievous smile on his face.
“I’m in love with your ass, by the way.” Then he closed the door behind him.
* * *
The next best thing to being wrapped in Noah’s body was being wrapped in his clothes. The t-shirt was perfectly roomy, and as I walked down the hall to find the kitchen, I couldn’t help burying my nose in the Noah-scented fabric. A pair of plaid boxers peeked out from under the hem.
I paused in the hallway leading from his room to the living room and kitchen to look at the mosaic of family pictures. I lingered over each one, watching a story unfold of a close-knit, happy family. There was a stunning one of his parents when they were young, surrounded by a ménage of shots of Noah and Jamie. Noah was the spitting image of his dad, with the same green eyes and the same sun-streaked dirty blond hair. Jamie, on the other hand, took after their mother, with his sea-foam green eyes and their dark hair always a contrast to the backdrop of the white sand and emerald surf. Even as a toddler with his startling white hair, it was obvious Noah had worshipped his older brother. Both of them, even as young boys, had been well defined, their hours in the ocean making them impressive physical specimens at a young age.
But the one that caused me to catch my breath was one of the three of them, father in the middle, sons on either side. It made my heart ache to think that half the people on this wall were gone. I had been so caught up in my own family drama, I had failed to fully appreciate the extent of Noah’s loss. Noah grieving for the family he’d lost, while I, on the other hand, emoted over the one I’d gained.
I found him in the kitchen, standing at the stove, hair shower damp. He had on a pale pink t-shirt over charcoal gray boardshorts that looked anything but feminine on his body. I laced my arms around his back and nuzzled him from behind. I inhaled deeply, past the soap he’d used to find his scent underneath. I could bury myself in his smell.
I felt his hand on my arm. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I peeked around him at the omelet cooking in the pan. “That looks amazing.”
“Well, don’t go getting all excited that I can cook or anything. This is it. I can make omelets and scoop ice cream.” He bent his head and kissed my wet hair before I released my hold on him.
He cut the omelet in half with the end of the spatula then distributed the two halves on separate plates. “My phone is on the counter. You should tell your dad where you are.”
The mention of my dad had me groaning inside. He’d been giving me so much freedom lately and there was something so carefree about the ability to take off into the Deep. A house almost didn’t really feel like home anymore. Home consisted of this whole place, the beach, the water. Shelter was more of a convenience than anything. Lines of home and family that had been clearly defined were now blurred.
I typed in a quick message, assuring my dad I was okay, not entirely sure what to say.
Hey, Dad. I spent an incredible night deflowering Noah and now we’re at his house and he’s cooking me breakfast.
Somehow I didn’t think the truth would go over very well. I kept the message simple.
me: sorry I didn’t come home. I’m at Noah’s. Hope you didn’t worry.
Yeah, that wasn’t going to fly, but I sent it anyway. No sooner had I pushed send and set the phone down beside my plate than it buzzed and chimed on the counter.
Dad: It’s my job to worry. Next time I’m sending out the Coast Guard. Tell Noah I’d like to speak with him.
I held up the screen for Noah to read. He didn’t look too concerned.
“You can’t tell him what happened yesterday, Noah. He would totally freak.”
“You want to talk about it? What happened?”
“I seem to remember this unbelievably sexy guy, doing these astonishingly delicious things to my body,” I said, deliberately misunderstanding him. “Are you sure that was your first time? And second? And third?”
My attempt to distract him from unpleasant thoughts almost worked. I definitely detected a hint of male smugness in the slight quirk of his mouth.
“Caris, you know that’s not what I meant.” He hadn’t taken a bite of his food yet, so I forked some omelet and lifted it to his mouth. He had to be hungry. My stomach was practically eating itself, and he’d exerted quite a bit more energy in the last twelve hours than I had. My body still thrummed with it. He took the bite I offered, eyes intent on my face.
“I know. God, I don’t want to think about it. I can’t believe what those guys did. They shot at the pod. They shot me. And they had a dolphin on the boat. Dead. It looked liked he’d been shot in the head. I didn’t get the why of it.” I picked at the bell peppers that had fallen from their omelet bed, appetite gone.
“There is no why. Some people are destructive and cruel for the fun of it. I’d like to tell you I haven’t heard or seen stuff like that before, but I have.”
“It was just the way they looked at me.” I shuddered thinking about it. “Thank God my father came. It’s just…”
“What?” Noah went completely still, his expression hard as if some unnamed threat circled us. I wanted so badly to put his mind at ease, but how could I when mine was still so unsettled.
“He scares me,” I admitted. Not that I thought he would hurt me, not that kind of scared. He made me too aware of myself, turned me into someone I didn’t recognize. Someone I wasn’t sure I wanted to be.
“Did he do something to you?”
Yes. No. It had been like with Sol on the beach with the fire. The silent greedy fingers of his fog and the way they’d coaxed something out of me I didn’t know how to give. My father had done that too. But while with Sol it had been a slow seepage, with my father it had been like a dam breaking. Forceful.
“No.” I covered my face with my hands. I had no idea what I was even trying to say. There was so much I still didn’t understand. “I don’t know. I don’t know what it is. He scares me, yes. But it’s not just him. When I’m with him, I scare myself.”
Because I was drawn to him. Because I didn’t hate him. Because I thought he had the ability to make me like him, make him a part of my life. I’d watched him on that boat with the wind and the rain, calling down lightning. But it hadn’t been just him; it had been us, communing in a way that had been fascinating.
“It was like with Sol, only bigger, so much more, and it wasn’t like he just took from me. I’d wanted it. I’d wanted to hurt them for what they had done. I wanted my father to hurt them. This, what’s inside me, it’s not always good.”
“Caris, you are good. Don’t ever think that you’re not. You’re not Athen Kelley.”
“No, but I’m his daughter. And even knowing what he probably did to those guys, what he did to my mother, I can’t hate him. What does it say about me that I can’t hate him?”
“It says you have a kind and forgiving heart, Caris. And that’s a good thing.” Noah leaned over and kissed me, a light touch of lips.
The side door opened on a sprinkle of feminine conversation and in walked Mrs. Jacobs, Maggie right behind her. I welcomed the distraction. The last twelve hours had been so carefree and perfect. It had only taken about fifteen minutes to tarnish it. They looked pleasantly surprised to see us. Maggie’s face broke out into a dazzling smile, like sunshine breaking through my dismal thoughts.
“Caris,” Maggie said, coming over to give me a hug. She kept her hands on my arms, her diamond eyes giving me a thorough inspection. “The Deep agrees with you. Isn’t she stunning, Lara.”
“Caris,” she whispered. Tears welled in her eyes, the sight of which froze me in place. She waved them off. “I’m sorry. You just look so much like her. This is how I remember her.” She touched my hair and ran warm fingers over my arms. I knew a moment of self-consciousness, sitting in her house, dressed in Noah’s clothes, the knowledge of what we had been doing all night so fresh I could still taste him. And then it struck me, for the first time since stepping inside this house, that it had at one time been my mother’s house too. This was the closest to her I had ever been. She had lived here while she carried me.
“I’ve wanted to come see you, but I know this has been so overwhelming for you.” She wrapped her arms around me, and when she pulled me close, her scent overwhelmed me. There was something so familiar about it. I closed my eyes and saw my mother and it was her arms holding me. I didn’t even know this woman, but I knew this was what my mother’s hugs would have felt like, smelled like.
She drew away slowly, her eyes a maternal caress. I ducked my head and wiped at my cheeks, my chest tight with emotion.
“You know we love you already,” she said, and the tightness in my chest became almost unbearable.
I couldn’t look up. I stared at my hands in my lap and managed to nod my head. I had to wipe my eyes again. “Thank you, Mrs. Jacobs.”
“Call me Lara.” She stepped back, taking her smell and her touch with her. I took a wobbly breath as Maggie patted my back, slow circles of her hand that relieved the tension.
“Knock, knock.”
I looked up at the sound of my dad’s voice. He stood in the doorway with an anxious look on his face until his eyes fell on me. Maggie and Mrs. Jacobs turned around and I was thankful the attention shifted off me. Only Noah was still watching me. I would happily drown in those eyes. He had gotten up when his mom and Maggie had come in and now leaned against the counter in front of the sink, arms crossed in front of his chest, the sleeves of his t-shirt tight around his biceps. We stared at each other while Lara introduced Maggie to my dad, saying so much without saying a word. I should have told him this morning. Told him I was so completely in love with him. Last night, this morning, he had made me feel so womanly, so worldly, so adult. And now I was adrift again, feeling childish in comparison.
Waterborn (The Emerald Series Book 1) Page 31