by Jax Hart
“I do,” I whispered.
He tensed, reminded me I spoke his true name. “I need to take care of this,” he gestures to the condom he took off and tied. It was automatic. Easy. Just like tying your shoes. My hands fisted in the sheets; angry he wasn’t all mine the way I was his. I was tempted to rip off my contacts, strip off all my layers and let him see exactly who I am.
Let him see who had ensnared the beast.
He grabbed my wrist, ripping me from the flimsy sheet and pulled me up with him to the bathroom. He turned on the massive shower and pushed me in. Caging me against the stone wall, his eyes went back to chips of arctic ice as the warm water washed over us. He twirled a lock of soaked blue hair around his fingers. His cock jutted out from beneath his washboard abs. But he braced his hands on the wall above me, letting his pecs almost brush the tips of my breasts while his hips refrained from touching me at all. I knew he wanted me again. I could taste it. But Il Sovrano was back, and the king wanted his answers first.
“Don’t hurt him.”
“Who?”
“My uncle.”
“How?”
“Palermo. I told you my family…”
“Your uncle recognized me? Impossible…”
“I’m his only living relative. He raised me as a daughter… You? A Princeton boy obsessed with me? A high school reject with barely anything? He hates it. Hates you. And…” I swallowed hard, “hates that he knew this night could happen. Would happen eventually.”
Roque’s palms smacked against the tiled wall. Then he gripped my chin so hard, I knew it’d bruise.
“Who sent you? Are you a mole for them? The Castellione’s?”
My brows furrowed. I haven’t heard that name in forever. A lifetime ago.
I splayed a wet hand on his sculpted chest. “As if anyone could fake this…thing we both feel. I didn’t want it. Didn’t want it to be you. But it is.”
His muscles bunched and tensed. His eyes never left mine as he judged. Decided.
“How then?”
“Your eyes. They are unforgettable and according to my uncle, a trade Salvatore trait. A DNA gift from the Gods.”
His eyes hardened, but his lips twitched. “Your uncle didn’t call me a God.”
I shrugged. “No, he didn’t. He said something more like ‘those Salvatore’s have thick heads and believe they are decedents of the Gods…”
“Your uncle… he’s making problems...”
“How? Zio’s an old man. He can barely walk some days when his arthritis flares.”
“I-I’m not just a college student with a bad past, Blue.” I lowered my gaze debating how much to disclose that I knew. He exhaled sharply then pulled me in tight, stroking his hands down my back. “I’d never hurt you, bella. But you must not betray me. Ever. I’ve broken the one rule with you. The one rule that a man like me knows better to break.”
“I won’t betray you if you don’t betray me.” I met his intense stare, giving one just as intense back.
He cursed in Italian and crushed his lips to mine. We clawed at one another. Both our secrets screamed to break free from where we had them locked down. But I don’t break and he… he growled, spinning me against the wall. He opened the glass shower door to flick off the lights.
In the dark, the water fell like rain. There was no window in the bathroom. Steam started to cling in the air. I was trapped in the dark with him again. But this time it was a world of carnal pleasures.
He fell to his knees behind me. I gasped, feeling his breath against my ass. From behind, he spread me, spearing me with his tongue. I garbled nonsense as his teeth scraped against me and his tongue delved deep.
Unable to help myself, I bucked back against him fucking me with his mouth. His laugh tickled. But soon, I lost all ability to think as he took me closer to that sweet edge. It’s not long before I fell over.
In the dark, he does things to me. Unspeakable, wicked things. Things Tati and I would snicker about when we watched a popular film. But I wasn’t snickering now. I was drowning in ecstasy.
I lost track of time. I understood why they called orgasms “the little death.” I died in his arms over and over again.
Languid, and limp somewhere near dawn wrapped up in his arms, I finally slept.
When I awoke, I wasn’t the same. He had awakened me. Made me come alive for the second time.
Sore and covered in light bruises, I blinked and stretched. I knew the instant I awoke that he wasn’t there. The energy is different when he’s around. It’s palpable.
I winced as I swung my legs over the bed. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d take everything from me, and I wasn’t lying to myself when I knew I’d let him.
I’m grateful he’s gone though as I try to collect myself and put the pieces of myself, I let him rip from me back together.
17
“Honeymoon’s over.”
Breathing out hard, I pinched the bridge of my nose as I paced. “We got your cousin back but took out a few Castellione’s in the process. While you were out living some high school fantasy—they hit back hard. Your warehouses in Chicago were hit. They took some merch.”
“How much merchandise?”
“The pharmaceuticals from China.”
“Fuck.”
While Johnny’s words sank in, I still smell her scent on me. Felt her body under mine. Remembered how she tasted. How our souls touched. I didn’t regret a second of it. I’d never give her up.
“Roque?”
“I’m here.”
“What’s your move?”
“Where is he?”
“Vince… he’s waiting for your response. His message is clear. Merge with them or total war.”
“It was her. Blue. Her uncle is from Palermo. He sent out feelers to old connections.”
“I told you she was trouble. Fuck, Roque. She has caused some serious shit to go down. Kissing that girl was the first of many dominoes to fall. I’ll put an extra rush on my PI to dig up more dirt on her and her family. But so far, he’s got nothing. My gut tells me they’re records are too clean… too untraceable.”
My gut clenched. I spun, spying my girl through the window. She’s exquisite. Naked, she stood brushing the strands of her wet, blue hair. My eyes traveled the curve of her spine, noting every mark my mouth left.
My cock turned to stone.
I’ll never take another. Never love another. Even if she is a mole. It hit me like a thunderbolt. My obsession with the girl is more… it’s the one cursed thing that will make me fall. Love. I’m no longer invincible. She made me weak. But I’ve never felt stronger. I’ll take down the dogs. I put down devil in his own grave and take his place. The five families? They won’t know what hit them when I’m done. Their draconian rule is over. I will take it all. Italy, America, the world. My chest puffed out and I laughed at my own narcissism. It’s her… Blue. She made me feel as if I could own the world.
“Fine. I questioned her last night.”
“With your cock?”
“Johnny…,” my voice lowered ominously. “you’re my friend. My brother, but don’t disrespect my girl.”
“What about your bride?”
“She’s dead five minutes after I say the vows.”
“Only you could lie to God in a church and not even blink.”
I shrugged. “I’ve done worse things.”
“We all have.”
“She’ll forgive me.”
“Blue?” He snorted, “She’s gonna cut your damn balls off. But you can’t tell her. Her uncle has already stuck his nose in our business. We’ve cut off tongues and balls for less.”
“We have. But I won’t tell her because it’ll be a weekend trip. I’ll marry the girl and end her in one fell swoop. Blue will never have to know any of it.”
“You’re too hard-headed to ever take advice but I’m giving it now anyway. Let the girl go. She’s young. Too young. Still in high school and too vulnerable for us to protect while grow
ing your mob.”
He’s right. But I needed to hold on. She’s my new anchor. The only thing keeping me from letting the darkness spread like a disease, consuming what’s left of me. I think of the Fiorelli girl. I needed to find her too. Protect her from the five families and make her understand I’ll never follow through on the order to end her. I’m the new king and what I say goes.
Blue’s mouth parted and I practically heard her gasp as her eyes met mine in the mirror when she noticed me outside the window looking in.
“Roque? You still there?” The phone was pressed to my ear, but I didn’t hear him. I was focused on the goddess crossing the floor. She pressed her hand to the glass. I raised mine to the cold pane on the other side. Her nipples were pert and taut. It’ll never be enough. A thousand lifetimes with her in my bed could never curb this hunger.
“Forever,” I mouthed as our fingertips met on opposite sides of the glass. Her eyes widened at my pledge. She still doubted me. Still didn’t grasp that I was not a man who did anything lightly. But then again, how could she know the true monster I am? She knew next to nothing about my true world and I vowed for now she’d never find out. Johnny was right about some things… Blue she still needs to fly. I’ll let her finish high school. She’ll go to college in Chicago if she wants. In my town, she’ll be safe. But that’s years away from the here and now. With many things to be done in-between.
“You are so far gone, bro.”
Lost in our moment, I forgot Johnny was still on the phone. “Set it up. Keep my cousins at home. I’ll go alone.”
“That’s ballsey as fuck.”
“You’ll be my best man, dickhead.”
“Christ. A wedding and a funeral. That’s right up my alley.”
I slipped my phone in my pocket still mesmerized by the siren standing just beyond my reach. She was still naked and waiting. My girl is a wanton. All mine and I’ll kill her if she ever lets another man touch her. Kill him too. Hell, I’ll slaughter anyone who looks at her and wonders what she’s like.
18
“Please tell me you didn’t do it. You didn’t marry Julietta and then kill her?” It’s past four a.m. and we’re both still wide awake.
“I’d know if you’d been married… it would’ve shown up on Google.”
I smile wryly. “Would you? Ralph Smith did get married.”
She gasp, “to Diana Palermo I hope!”
“I wish he had married Diana Palermo… but Ralph Smith was a fool. A fool for love. I’ll never make that mistake ever again.”
“Oh no. This story doesn’t have a happy ending.” She deflates.
“Nothing in life ends happily. You of all people should know that.”
“I refuse to give up believing. Besides, Romina Fiorelli is the love of your life. There’s still time to get the girl. The end of the story isn’t written.”
“... more like a to be continued…”
“So? You married that troll, Juliette?”
“I did.”
“Did Blue cut your balls off?”
“Worse. She cut out my heart.”
Chloe fights a yawn and snuggles deeper into the couch. “We need to find her. Like yesterday.”
“We?” I arch a brow.
“Yep. I’m totally team Roque.”
“Not Romina?”
“I haven’t decided yet. She should have told you who she was. She set a few dominoes in motion herself.”
“I’ve never blamed her. She was young. A teen. I blame myself for being so overcome by the electric current between us to see what was right before my eyes. How could I have been so blind? Not noticed beneath all her layers of careful camouflage was the one girl who was always my destiny?”
“I think you’re both acting like total retards. You love her she loves you… it’s not that complicated.”
“But it is. Love makes everything complicated. Besides, Romina doesn’t love me. Perhaps Blue, did. But that love died before it could even fully blossom.”
“I don’t love her anymore. I only want to destroy and vanquish whatever burns between us for good.”
Chloe rolls her eyes. “Do you even believe your own bullshit? No man, would stay up all night reliving his old love story unless the story is still alive for him.”
Now I roll my eyes. “Why are girls so hopelessly romantic? If I wasn’t so weak none of this would have ever happened.”
“You’re right. It would have been a great tragedy instead of the greatest love story. Fifteen-year-old you would’ve murdered his soulmate and walked the earth dead inside. Romina is the fire that wakes you up inside.”
“Not her, Blue.” I shake my head. “I loved a girl who never existed. I loved the girl Romina dressed up as using a disguise. How can I ever know if it was all an act or… if it was real at all?”
“Don’t you have all her diaries? Dumbass? She spells it all out for you literally?”
I stalk forward. “Did you just call me a dumbass?” I hiss in my deadliest, I’m going to break you no bullshit voice.
She yawns shaking her head. “Keep going. What happens next?”
“Things… blew up. Twists happened in our story that I didn’t see coming. Things changed me. I was never the same after. The truth is Chloe, she made me the man I am today. It might’ve started that fateful day in Palermo. But not seeing… by believing I could blend in. Play a pretend role for a while in Princeton… led me here. I’ll never make the same mistake again. I’ll never be a fool for love. Hell, my heart is locked down and vaulted. It’ll never breathe again.”
“It will for her.”
“Romina? Part of me…maybe wishes it would. But she changed after what happened. The girl I loved is gone. That can’t be undone. Besides, after what happened to Johnny… I can’t risk she would only want to get close to me again just to get the revenge she always craved.”
“Back to the story. Ralph Smith marries the troll princess and breaks his Blue’s heart. Did I get that right?”
“Not quite…”
“I can’t read anymore. Too tired. Go to sleep then. There’s no use rehashing what happened.”
“I can’t sleep. I need to know now. You can’t leave me on a cliffhanger.”
“Fine,” I rub the back of the neck and feel my eyes drift the loopy curves of Blue’s handwriting. For when she wrote this it was still Blue. And that’s the major sticking point for me. I loved Blue. A fake persona invented by Romina Fiorelli. That girl who defied me that day in the woods already got her revenge and she doesn’t even realize it. She broke me. Her curse was fulfilled by her own actions and she didn’t even realize it. I still love that fierce girl with the Blue hair and mud brown eyes. The girl whose hands shook as she stroked my back. The girl whose breathless kiss promised me she would be mine forever. The girl who gave me all of her in some twisted game of lies.
It crushed me when I found out she wasn’t real. I didn’t want Blue and Romina to be one in the same.
19
“When will you be back?” I wrapped my arms around Roque, hugging him from behind. He tensed in my embrace. In front of him, the dawn broke, stretching its rays wide bringing the promise of a new day.
The past few weeks were glorious. Roque’s love is intense. Deep. Powerful. Washing over me every time his eyes glance my way.
But the closer Roque and I got, the more Zio’s been pulling away. He barely looks at me. Every time I try to engage him in conversation he mutters in Italian and complains of being tired. More days than most, when I come home from school, I find Zio asleep in his chair.
“A few days maybe.”
“I wish I could go with you,” I whispered into his back, cringing at the sound of my own lovesick voice.
“Me too, bella.” He lifted my hand to kiss my palm before moving off the edge of my bed.
My eyes lingered on the scars across his back. I felt them the first time we were together, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking. I made the mistake once,
of tracing my finger along the jagged, raised edge of one once and Roque hissed, ordering me never to touch them. It hurt. A lot. That he’s still closed off from me, keeping secrets. But then again, I’m keeping the biggest one of all.
“Is it…business?”
He whipped around. “No. Family stuff.”
“I thought your whole family was dead.”
“Not quite. Your uncle doesn’t know everything.”
Neither do you.
I’m hurt he won’t fully let me in.
Something was going on. He didn’t even bother creeping through my window last night. He came through the front door. Zio was asleep anyway but Roque was not to be denied. My bed creaked all night. He took me like a man on a mission. It was rough, tender at times but almost brutal and violent other times. The man acted like he wanted to consume me.
Now he’s distant and cold like the fires that burned through the night never flamed. Bitter ash filled my mouth as he dressed, barely looking at me.
“Don’t lie to me.”
His eyes lifted. “Don’t you have high school in an hour?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what? Getting dressed? I have a flight to catch.”
“Fine. Whatever.” I grumbled, rolling over and giving him my back. Fuck high school. I needed sleep.
I heard him finish dressing, then the bed dipped as warm lips landed on my bare shoulder. “I’ll be back before you know it. We’ll go out on a real date to Manhattan. The theatre… clubs… whatever.”
“Don’t try to pacify me like I’m a toy. I hate all that shit and you would know that if you knew who I was.”
He laughed as his teeth sink into my flesh just enough to sting. “Fine. I’ll take you out on rounds.”
“Rounds?”
“Yeah… where we enforce our rules and punish people who break them.”
“Hmmm…” I twisted the sheets because honestly the gap between our worlds outside of this room was just too wide and we both knew it.
Suddenly he came close. I remember staring at the shiny tip of his polished shoes as he stood next to my bed. “Look, Blue. You and I are written in the stars. Our fates are sealed. I’m coming back for you…in three days, three years, or thirty. You got me?”