He was five days into his new job at the hospital.
Five days of unpacking boxes and settling into the apartment he’d rented.
Five days pretending life was sweet.
And five days that he’d managed to avoid running into Nicola Radici.
He ignored the twinge in his gut and the way the word coward mashed its way into his thoughts. Because it wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen Nicola or spoken to her in the past twelve months. He had. Several times. But this was different. He was now back in Cedar River for good. Back in the town where he’d been born and raised—a town of a few thousand that sat in the shadow of the Black Hills, South Dakota.
Yeah, back home for good with no way of avoiding her.
High school sweethearts.
The damned phrase still made him cringe.
It had been fifteen years since they’d spectacularly broken up after graduation. Since then he’d married and divorced, and he knew Nicola had a broken engagement in her past...so there was no logical reason he should have any feelings about her one way or another.
But he did.
He had guilt.
By the bucket load.
For over a decade and a half, he’d regularly returned to Cedar River to visit his family. But he’d usually managed to avoid running into her. She’d moved to San Francisco, gone to college, gotten a life that didn’t include him...just as he’d told her to do. While he’d gone to college and med school, ending up at the largest hospital in Sioux Falls. That was where he met Tori, who soon became his wife and the mother of his son. Everything had worked out as he’d imagined it would.
Until it blew up in his face.
Kieran shook the memory off, hating that after nearly two years he still had the same aching loss seeping into his bones. Nothing eased it. And he suspected nothing ever would. But he had to pretend he was over the whole awful mess. He had a job, parents, siblings, friends...too many things and people eclipsing his grief to behave as broken inside as he felt. It was better to simply make out he was okay.
And he was, most of the time. But since he’d made the decision to move back to Cedar River a few months back and secured a permanent position at the hospital, a peculiar uneasiness had simmered in his gut. And he suspected it had nothing to do with returning home for good, nothing to do with the fact that his parents were divorcing or that months earlier he’d discovered he had a secret half brother who lived in Portland, a product of his father’s thirty-year-old infidelity.
No, it wasn’t anything to do with that. It had everything to do with Nicola Radici.
Because Nicola, with her long brown hair and dark eyes, was as sensational now as she’d been in high school.
And because she still clearly hated the sight of him.
Every time they’d spoken in the past twelve months, like at his brother Liam’s wedding a few months back, she’d tilted her chin, pushed back her shoulders and offered a cursory response when he’d said hello and asked how she was. Even when he’d offered his condolences to her and her family over the loss of her brother, Gino, who’d been tragically killed in a boating accident eighteen months ago. He knew how she felt, since he’d lost his sister Liz three years earlier.
Kieran recognized the lingering resentment in her expression.
She hadn’t forgiven him for humiliating her so many years ago.
Not that he blamed her. He had broken up with her on graduation day, just outside her locker, right in front of the whole school. He hadn’t meant to do it that way, but it had happened regardless.
Kieran shook off the memory and headed for the doctor’s lounge to grab a much-needed cup of coffee. Just as he was taking a sip, one of the nurses poked her head around the door.
“Dr. O’Sullivan,” she said and waved an admission folder. “There’s a patient in triage, bed three. A young boy with a fish hook in his hand.”
Kieran spilled the rest of the coffee down the sink and rinsed out the mug. “Okay, I’ll be right there.”
The nurse hovered by the doorway and gave a kind of uneasy shrug. “Um...it’s one of the Radici boys.”
His stomach plummeted. Particularly when he saw the nurse’s expression. His old relationship with Nicola wasn’t exactly a secret, and many of the nurses, including the fiftysomething woman in front of him, had lived in Cedar River all their lives. And since his family was the wealthiest and most high profile in town, gossip came with the territory. But damn, the last thing he wanted was to see Nicola, especially when he’d just been thinking about her.
“He’s a patient, so it’s not a problem,” he said anyway, heading toward triage.
He spotted Nicola immediately, standing beside one of the beds, the privacy curtain half-pulled around. Dressed in jeans, a bright red shirt, ankle boots and with a blue sweater wrapped around her waist, she was effortlessly attractive. Her hair was loose—her wild, curly dark brown hair that hung down her back and had always driven him crazy—and he was suddenly overcome by the memory of the two of them in the back of his Wrangler, going all the way when they were sixteen and losing their virginity together.
Then, he quickly pushed the memory away and kept walking.
There was a dark-haired boy standing at her side, his arms crossed, and another, younger child sitting on the edge of the bed. Her nephews. It was common knowledge that she’d inherited custody of her brother’s two kids upon his death. Kieran took a breath, put on his best physician’s face and walked towards them.
“Nicola,” he said quietly. “Hello.”
She turned her head and met his gaze. The resentment was still there, burning bright in her lush brown eyes. He saw the pulse in her throat beating wildly as she spoke. “Dr. O’Sullivan.”
Nothing else. There was no welcome in her voice. Nothing other than cool resentment. And the way she called him doctor made that resentment abundantly clear.
He plastered a smile on his face. “It’s good to see you, Nic.”
Big mistake. She clearly didn’t want to be reminded of the way he used to call her Nic because she glared at him, pressing her lips together. Kieran watched as she swallowed hard, with her arms crossed so tightly they might snap.
One of her steeply arched eyebrows rose a fraction. “I thought Dr. Wright was on duty tonight?”
Of course. She wouldn’t have come to the ER if she suspected Kieran would be there. And she obviously knew he’d started working at the hospital. News traveled fast in Cedar River. Kieran half shrugged. “She’ll be here later,” he explained and moved around the bed. “I’m on a double shift because we’re down a doctor this week. I finish up in three hours.” He felt her scrutiny down to his bones. “So...let’s see what’s going on with your nephew’s hand,” he said, getting the conversation back on track.
“I hooked myself,” the child on the bed muttered, holding up his clumsily bandaged hand, his eyes downcast. “See?”
“He was messing around,” the older boy said and looked toward his aunt. “I told him to stop.”
“I was not!” his brother said hotly and waved his hand and then yelped in pain. “You said I couldn’t cast my line and you kept laughing.”
“You were casting like a girl,” the older Radici brother said. “And into a bucket in the backyard. That’s not even real casting. You can’t do anything.”
“I can so!”
“You’re such a baby,” the older boy said.
Kieran looked at Nicola and saw that she was frowning.
“Johnny,” she scolded. “Please don’t make things worse.”
The older boy had a scowl so deep it creased his forehead. He shrugged. “I’m gonna sit over there.”
Kieran smiled to himself. It would be exactly the same conversation he might once have had with his own brothers when they were kids. He watched as Johnny shuffled sulkily across the triage zon
e and plunked into a chair, then took a gaming console out of his small backpack, shoved plugs into his ears and ignored all of them.
Kieran looked at the younger child. “You know, when we were kids, my brother Liam always said I couldn’t fish as well as he could. I was younger, and my arms weren’t as long as his. But you know what? I grew up taller than him.”
The boy looked at him for the first time and his eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yep,” Kieran replied and grinned. “And now I’m a way better fisherman than he is.”
“Really?” he asked, looking pensive.
“Really,” Kieran assured him.
The boy shrugged. “It’s not really fishing. It’s just a bucket and some plastic toys.”
“Well,” Kieran said as he moved around the bed and dropped the clipboard onto it. “Maybe you’ll get so good you can do it for real sometime.”
Kieran saw a kind of wary panic cross the child’s face, and he looked quickly toward Nicola. She glanced sideways, and he saw her shake her head slightly. He sensed something was wrong but didn’t comment further. Instead, he washed his hands in the sink, pulled on a pair of gloves and then gently placed the boy’s wrapped hand on a small rolling table. “Okay, let’s see what you’ve done. First, though, you better tell me your name.”
“Marco,” he muttered, his lip wobbling.
“Okay, Marco,” Kieran said and began to unwrap the makeshift bandage. “Let’s do this.”
The boy whimpered a little, calming when Nicola moved forward and grasped his other hand. Kieran tried not to think about how it was the closest he’d been to her in fifteen years. Or about how he could pick up the scent of her vanilla shampoo over the antiseptic that usually lingered in the air. The scent was suddenly so familiar it made him glance sideways.
She wasn’t looking at him, though. Her attention was focused solely on her nephew.
He could see how she was slightly biting her bottom lip and remembered how she used to do that when she was deep in thought, like when they’d been studying together back in high school. Of course, studying usually turned into making out, which often led to more. Back then he’d been crazy for her, mad for her beautiful hair, sexy curves and warm brown eyes. A typical horny teenage boy who couldn’t get enough of his first real girlfriend. Back then, in the three years they’d dated, Kieran was sure he and Nicola would go the distance, that they’d go to college, travel the world, get married one day, have a family. But that was a kid’s dream. Because the moment Nicola had suggested they get engaged before they headed off to college, he’d freaked out. He’d felt trapped and afraid that settling down so young would derail his career. And he’d never quite forgiven himself for hurting her the way he had.
And, clearly, she hadn’t, either.
There were tears in Marco’s eyes, and Kieran focused his attention on the child. He was a quiet sort of kid, clearly in pain, but trying to be brave. “You know, if you want to say ouchywowah, you can.”
The child’s eyes widened. “Ouchy, what?”
“Ouchywowah,” Kieran said and finished unwrapping the bandage. “Saying it three times helps make the pain go away. But you have to say it quietly,” he explained, not daring to look at Nicola. “Like, in a whisper...or it doesn’t work.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Kieran assured him and smiled to himself as the boy began chanting the word over and over. Silly as it was, it seemed to help Marco concentrate on something other than his injury and, ten minutes later, Kieran had removed the fishing hook impaled between Marco’s fingers, cleaned and stitched the injury and ordered some pain medication. He left the nurse to dress the young boy’s hand, while he did something he didn’t want to do: speak to Nicola—alone.
“I’ve arranged for a scrip for some painkillers you can fill at the hospital pharmacy, and I’d like to see him again in a few days, to make sure he’s free from infection,” he explained as they walked through triage, away from the two boys and through to the waiting room outside.
Other than her nephews, the nurse on duty in triage and a couple of nurses in the reception area, the place was empty, and Kieran experienced a sudden and acute sense of discomfort. They were, in a sense, alone for the first time in fifteen years.
And he could tell by the look in her brown eyes that he was about to get the telling off he figured was a decade and a half in the making...
* * *
Don’t do it...
Nicola chanted the words to herself over and over. She didn’t want to make a scene. She didn’t want to spend any more time in Kieran O’Sullivan’s presence. But damn, it was hard. He was still too gorgeous for words...six foot two and a half, broad shoulders, brownish-blond hair that still flopped over his forehead when he tilted his head, glittering blue eyes and dark lashes. And the whiskery shadow across his jaw was too attractive for words. Not exactly a beard, but enough to give him a kind of rugged sexiness. She wished he’d grown up to be bald and pudgy. She wished he hadn’t decided to permanently return to Cedar River. She wished he hadn’t been so kind and considerate with Marco and that her nephew hadn’t actually responded to him—which was way more than he did with most people. She wished a whole lot of things. And in that moment she wished she could turn on her heels and leave the hospital as quickly as she could.
But she couldn’t.
She had Johnny and Marco to think about.
A deep surge of grief coursed through her entire body when she thought about her older brother, Gino, and sister-in-law, Miranda. She loved her nephews but worried she wasn’t measuring up in the parent department. And along with running the restaurant and her father’s swiftly declining health, she had enough on her plate without adding an old boyfriend into the mix.
But...she was mad.
Seething.
Kieran O’Sullivan had no right coming back to town! He’d set the rules on graduation day. He wanted a life and a career away from Cedar River. He didn’t want any ties. He didn’t want a girlfriend. He didn’t want to get engaged. He wanted to be able to screw around in college. He wanted his freedom.
She should have seen it coming. In the weeks before graduation, he’d been distant and closed off and had avoided her like the plague. Ever since she’d suggested they make a real commitment to one another before heading off to separate colleges. And then, on graduation day, he’d dumped her, saying he didn’t want to be tied down...by her or Cedar River.
But now he was back.
And suddenly, all her pent-up rage, despair and resentment was pointing in one direction. And even though she knew that being angry was illogical after so many years, she couldn’t help it.
“You’re a real jerk,” she said and waved her hands. “You know that? Why did you have to come back? Egoista, bastardo di cuore freddo!” she cursed in Italian, feeling her skin heat more with each passing second and fighting the urge to take a swipe at his handsome face. “Ti odio!”
I hate you...
They were strong words, and she knew he understood them. But he didn’t flinch. Didn’t speak. Didn’t do anything other than take her ranting at him as though he’d been expecting it. And that amplified her anger tenfold. She didn’t want him to be compliant and agreeable and ready for her insults. She wanted him to respond so she could go in for another round. And another. Until she was spent and done with all the pain she still harbored from her broken, seventeen-year-old-girl’s heart.
“I know,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
Nicola tilted her chin. “Your apology is about fifteen years too late.”
“I know that, too.”
Nicola drew in a sharp breath. Typical of Kieran to be so damned agreeable! “I’ll take Marco to our usual doctor,” she said flatly. “That way I won’t have to see you again.”
“If that’s what you’d prefer.”
God,
he was so compliant. “I think we both know what I’d prefer, Doctor.”
“That I’d stayed away?”
“Exactly.”
“It’s my hometown, Nicola...just as much as it is yours. And I’m pretty sure it’s big enough for both of us.”
Nicola glanced around, arms crossed, temper surging. “It doesn’t feel like it right now.” She sucked in a long and steadying breath. “However, I do appreciate you looking after him tonight.”
She wasn’t about to tell him that it was the first time she’d seen Marco really respond to someone new since his parents had been killed. And of course she wasn’t surprised that Kieran had a great bedside manner. He’d always been too damned charming for his own good!
“We don’t have to be friends, Nicola,” he said evenly. “But we don’t have to be enemies, either.”
“I don’t want us to be anything,” she shot back. “Except strangers.”
“You’re my sister-in-law’s friend,” he reminded her. “This is a small town, and we’re bound to run into one another occasionally. I prefer we weren’t at war when we did.”
He was right. Her longtime friend Kayla had married Kieran’s brother, and they’d just had their first child. They would definitely cross paths.
But she resented that he was so cool, so logical...so incredibly infuriating about the whole situation.
A typical O’Sullivan trait. They were the wealthiest family in town. And the most entitled. They owned commercial and investment property and several businesses, including the hugely successful O’Sullivan’s Hotel. The eldest brother, Liam, ran the hotel and most of the other holdings, while the younger brother Sean was a movie and music producer in LA. Their sister, Liz, had passed away a few years earlier from some kind of heart thing, leaving behind three young daughters. And there was another brother, too, called Jonah, who they’d just discovered existed and was the reason his parents were now in the middle of a divorce.
And then there was Kieran—the brother who’d left to pursue his dream of a medical career. And he’d got exactly what he wanted. He was smart and charming and too good-looking for words. He’d once been her closest friend, her lover, her future. Now, all she felt was hurt and rage when she thought of him. Nicola tried to wrap up her temper and put it away where it belonged. But it was so hard.
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