This was not a discussion he wanted to have with Avalon’s father. “You’re right. A couple needs a common direction as well as love.” He took a deep breath. Could he retain tact? “I don’t see that your daughter and I have much for shared goals, quite honestly.”
Mr. Penhaven waved the concerns away with a flick of his bejeweled hands. “She’s a handsome woman, my Avalon. Her mother’s looks have lasted well, I might add. My daughter will give you beautiful children and cement your family’s entry into Helena society. She’ll one day be the heir of everything I possess, and you will have a decent heritage of your own, I believe.”
Was the man proposing a marriage in this backward way? Jase shook his head. He gulped half his cup of coffee, now lukewarm. “Mr. Penhaven, I appreciate the trust you have in me. Really, I do. But Avalon and I are unsuited for each other. There is no wedding in our future.”
The older man frowned. “Let’s not be hasty here.”
Jase edged out of the booth and grabbed his camera. “I’m not. We’ve been seeing each other for several months, and I believe I speak for both of us when I say there’s no point. I don’t love her, and she doesn’t love me.” He raised a hand as Mr. Penhaven opened his mouth. “Whatever we had, it’s over. Permanently so. I hate to disappoint you.”
Okay, that was an outright lie. How could he accept a man like this for a father-in-law? He’d be trying to run their lives forever.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Acceptance? Jase let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
The man looked up. “One more thing, Jase.”
“Yes?”
“The rent on your studio will be going up.” With a smug smile, Mr. Penhaven slid him a legal-sized envelope. “Here’s your official notification.”
CHAPTER 9
“I’ve never eaten here before.” Marisa took in the interior of Lucca’s Italian restaurant. She gave Jase a sideways grin. “I’m usually in a hurry when I’m in this part of town, and a bowl of chili at The Parrot fits my timeline.”
Jase looked good, dressed to the max in a near-navy suit with rolled-up hems. So trendy. She should have expected that of him after all his years capturing the fashion industry. Like her, he could dress up or down depending on the situation.
“Me, too. My office is just down the walking mall, so I pop in at The Parrot frequently.”
“May I take your orders?” asked the waiter.
Jase ordered an appetizer for each of them. When he turned his green eyes back on her, Marisa could barely stand to meet his gaze.
How could she know if she could really trust him now? If he’d really changed? Look at him. Dressed for New York or Paris or Milan. Not Helena, where even money wore blue jeans.
He reached across the table and captured her hands, his thumb swirling circles on the back of her hand. “You seem serious tonight.”
She shook her head, trying to dislodge the melancholy, but it was difficult.
“I missed you so much,” he continued softly. “And God brought you back into my life. I’m thankful.”
Marisa stared at their joined hands on the snowy tablecloth as though they belonged to someone on screen. Someone not her. And yet, she tingled at his tantalizing touch. “I missed you, too,” she managed to say. That much was certainly true.
“Then why so sad?”
She pushed a smile to her lips. “Introspective, is all. A lot has changed in the past month or two. I was just a farmer—”
“You’ve never been just anything, Marisa.”
She met his gaze then looked down again. “I was a farmer focused on food and local families. Now I’ll be contending for Miss Snowflake and you’re here.” In the flesh. Touching her, but not demanding. Why couldn’t she let go and enjoy being with him? “It’s surreal. I’ll probably wake up in the morning, and it will all have been a dream.”
“Are you worried about the farm when you win? You’ll be busy next year. I didn’t think of that when I urged you to enter.”
“Bob says he’s got it covered. And my families will kick in.” How could she tell him she’d spent three summers focused on building a life here, but the pageant reminded her of all she’d left behind? She loved the farm, especially the chance to grow food and help feed her families. She loved each of them, but the world was so much bigger. So many other people needed access to good, real food. So many hungry kids.
“That’s good, then. You’ve worked hard on everything. I’m glad it will survive fine while you step out for a year.”
She lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “There’s no guarantee I’ll win, of course. Several of the other contestants are very accomplished and have causes much more mainstream than mine. Passions the judges will understand and embrace.”
“You’ll win.”
Marisa peeked up through her lashes, and her heart caught at the expression on his face. Utter belief in her, and something more. Why couldn’t it have worked out with him earlier, without that horrible fight? Her mind could replay it on demand. Word for word, gesture for gesture, emotion for emotion. He’d hurt her so badly.
A plate of steamed pesto mussels landed on the table between them, and she pulled her hands free to make room. Finally, a distraction. She went with an easier topic. “I still can’t believe you ended up in Helena.” She jabbed a mussel and popped it in her mouth.
Jase’s face lit up. “I know. It seems so random, yet I’m certain God brought me here for a reason. Maybe I should say He brought my parents here. After all, I only followed them.”
“How did that happen?”
He shrugged. “Dad retired from banking and wanted to come west. Kristen and Todd were living in Salt Lake and my parents wanted to be nearer them, but the city itself didn’t appeal to either of them.”
Marisa nodded. “I’ve flown through the Salt Lake City airport dozens of times. It doesn’t entice me, either.”
“Kristen says the Mormon Tabernacle is breathtaking.”
“But the Cathedral of St Helena is right here. It’s pretty amazing itself.” And that’s where they were headed in an hour. Christmas at the Cathedral with the Helena Symphony.
“I think it’s one of the reasons Mom and Dad chose Helena. They can hop a flight and be at Kristen’s within a couple of hours.” He grinned. “I like seeing the kids oftener, too. Definitely a benefit of living out west.”
“I can see that.” She had nothing similar holding her in Helena. She’d been focused on the farm until the pageant thing came up. Until seeing Jase again. Both had reminded her of the bigger world outside Montana.
“What about you? What do you like best about Helena?”
Strange question on the heels of her thoughts. How invested was Jase? And did it matter? Yes, somehow it did.
Maybe the restlessness in her had more to do with him than the place. “Well, I grew up here, so for me it’s home, with all the plusses and minuses that entails. I love the history of the city and all the glam.” There, she’d admitted it. The glitz still called to her.
He leaned back in his chair, watching her. “I couldn’t believe the state legislature building. That place is amazing. There’s a lot of gold decorating all the arches and the corridor above the stairs. And those murals. Wow.”
Marisa grinned. “This was definitely a cultural hotspot in the Wild West. They had to have something to do with all the gold they panned out of Last Chance Gulch. Mom shared Calista’s journals of that era with me. Fascinating to read the juxtaposition of culture and, not only wilderness, but lawlessness.”
“My roots are in New York,” he mused.
The way he focused on her shifted something inside her gut. Easier to look at the platter between them and select a mussel than meet his eyes. She’d always wanted to dine at Lucca’s, but Italy — Milan — screamed romance at her. Who wanted to enter such a fine establishment alone or with girlfriends?
“I’m happy to have been transplanted here. I hadn’t seen mu
ch of my family the past few years with all the travel on the job. Now I get to drop in for dinner with my parents several times a week, and Kristen and the kids are here at least twice a month for a few days. Getting to know Charlotte and Liam is the best.”
She stared at him stupidly. “You don’t live with your parents?”
“Me?” He pulled back and laughed. “No, of course not. With the resort, they need every room in the house for paying guests. I’ve got an apartment downtown, within easy walking distance of my studio.”
Somehow she’d assumed otherwise. Why? Because she’d moved back into her own childhood bedroom?
“Besides, having her grandkids around reminds my mother that I’m not married. And then she reminds me, as though I hadn’t noticed.”
Whoa. “Your folks seem like wonderful grandparents. Charlotte adores your mother, from what I’ve seen.”
Jase met her eyes. “They both love kids. Mom’s always nagging me to—” His voice broke off and his gaze dropped to the platter between them.
He didn’t need to finish. She knew what he meant to say.
Jase reached for her hands. “Marisa, I—”
Too soon. She picked up her linen napkin and wiped her hands. “Excuse me. I need to use the ladies’ room.” Maybe he’d think she hadn’t picked up on the direction the conversation had veered. Maybe he’d think, at all.
~*~
The closing aria hung in the air amidst the golden chandeliers in the Cathedral of St Helena. The audience held its collective breath as the note faded.
Beside him, Marisa leaned forward slightly, her eyes fixed on the mezzo-soprano whose hands spread to the sky, as though the arched and gilded ceiling had ceased to separate humanity from the heavens.
The acoustics in this building were rumored to be so good a person could literally hear a pin drop anywhere within it. At this moment, wrapped in a holy hush, Jase believed it. Christmas in the Cathedral had affected him every bit as deeply as any night at the New York Philharmonic. Maybe more so.
He could do Helena. He’d always miss the Big Apple, but Helena was worth it ten times over for Marisa’s sake. The void in his life had lessened since finding her again.
God was here. Not everything stirring in his soul had to do with Marisa. Plenty of it had to do with immersing in God’s nature and drawing closer to Him. Helena didn’t block God’s voice the way New York and its insanity did. Here a guy could think, could pray.
His gaze lingered on Marisa’s profile.
Here a guy could hope. Could love.
She still held back from him a little, but his mind had jumped all the way to the altar. Maybe they could even be married right here in the cathedral. Once he’d convinced her he’d stay in Helena forever, just to be with her, she’d welcome him. He’d devastated her in the Kenyan aftermath. How could he make it up to her? Prove to her his apology was sincere?
Rustling began in nearby pews as folks gathered their coats. Jase slid his arm around Marisa. “Amazing,” he whispered.
She leaned into him. Not much, but it was progress, and he’d take it. Her brown eyes glimmered in the cathedral’s soft lighting as she looked up at him.
Jase pulled her a little closer and swept his lips across her forehead. “You’re beautiful, Marisa,” he murmured. “You belong here, in this place of magic. In this place of heaven on earth.” He pulled her coat to her bare shoulders.
“I don’t want to leave yet. Do you mind?” Her eyes begged his. “I need to absorb the majesty.”
His heart surged. She felt as he did. How could things not work out between them? He leaned back in his seat. “Take your time.”
Around them, others slipped quietly out into the night until only a few pockets of people remained.
“God among us,” Marisa said quietly. “It’s beyond comprehension.”
“He loved us that much. Calls us to Him.”
She turned to him. “It’s crazy. We’re not worth it.”
“We are to Him.”
“People say I’m beautiful.” She put a finger to his lips to stop the words she had to know he wanted to say. “But God doesn’t see me that way. When He looks at me, He doesn’t see me. He sees Jesus.”
He’s missing a great view.
Oh, Jase knew it wasn’t true. God knew exactly what He’d created in Marisa. Not only a woman with a beautiful face and body, but one with a personality and heart to match.
Like the fictional Christmas thief, Jase felt like his heart grew ten sizes bigger, just thinking about her.
“Do you think God cares who wins the Miss Snowflake title, Jase?” Her brown eyes looked boldly into his. “If He doesn’t place the same importance on beauty as humans do, why should He care?”
He lifted his hand to her face and traced her jaw. “He cares, Marisa. He cares, not because of the title, but what He wants to do through you because of it. He has great plans for you.”
She leaned into his touch, her eyes still meeting his.
“Great plans,” he repeated. Plans he’d be part of. For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. He leaned a little closer and caressed her lips with his own for a few seconds before pulling back.
As much as he wanted to pursue, this wasn’t the time. Definitely wasn’t the place. He rose, catching her hand and pulling her up with him.
They exited the tall arched doors of the cathedral into a crisp winter night. The full moon hovered not far above the horizon, casting an ethereal glow over the parking area.
Even in darkness, there was light. Jesus had come into such a dark world and shone a holy light into it. He’d brought light into the darkness of Jase’s soul… and into his heart.
CHAPTER 10
Mom pulled the curtain back on the dining room window. “Everyone’s starting to arrive.”
Marisa arranged mocha peppermint pretzel cookies on the tray and tilted her head for closer examination. She and Mom had been baking for several days, preparing their annual sledding party at the farm for their families. Okay, so it was only the third year. That still counted for annual, right?
The front door opened, and Bren stuck her head in. “Need some help in here?”
“No, we’re good. Bob’s in charge of the camp stove to keep the cocoa hot.”
“Okay, I’ll keep the troops happy until you get out here.” The door clicked behind Bren.
Marisa turned to her surprise helper. “Make sure it doesn’t burn. You have to keep the flame low, and stir a lot.”
Bob hitched his pants and grinned. “I’ve got it. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been near a stove.”
She supposed. He’d been a widower for probably ten years. Odds were good he’d managed to cook something without burning it in that amount of time.
“Unless I take a few spins down that hill myself and forget.” He winked.
Marisa rolled her eyes but couldn’t hold back a grin. For all his idiosyncrasies, she liked the guy. Not, apparently, as much as her mother did. Who knew?
“You also can’t eat all the cookies. I think Mom packed you a big enough box to take home, so here you have to share with the kids.”
“Rules, rules. Aren’t they made to be broken?”
“Everything ready, then?” Mom crossed the room to stand beside Bob, but she was looking at Marisa.
Marisa nodded. “I’m ready to bundle up and head outside.” Had she been crazy to invite Jase? Worse yet, Kristen’s crew? Would anyone see this as trying to sway the pageant? But the Mackie family wasn’t judging. They had no real power over who won. Everyone had friends.
She headed for the hall closet and slipped into her purple snow pants, then her boots and parka. Not as cute as the white ski suit her sponsor had provided for the contestants’ day at the Great Divide Ski Area. Next week. She blocked the thought and grabbed her mitts from the basket before opening the door.
The crisp air smelled of snowflakes and wood smoke. Soft snow sifted gently, adding a fresh layer to the sev
eral inches that fell overnight. Davy and one of his buddies already had a snowball the size of a wheelbarrow beside the driveway and were busy rolling another one, presumably for the snowman’s body, while Baxter growled and danced around the growing ball.
Lila, blond hair flying out from under a red stocking cap, flopped on her back in a fresh patch of snow, swinging her arms and legs to create a snow angel. She’d no sooner struggled to her feet, marring the angel’s skirt, when Davy rolled over the spot with his snowball.
“Mommy! Make him stop.”
Marisa grinned. Those must be Lila’s favorite words.
Another car churned down the driveway and parked beside the greenhouse. That made all of her families.
Right behind it came a white Jetta and a gray Subaru.
Jase. He’d come. Now he’d see what she really did here. What was important to her. They happened to be the same things Avalon scorned. Yes, he’d broken things off with Avalon and turned to Marisa. But still, would he really understand? This would be his test, to see if he could relax and enjoy these wild kids and their moms, who all lived on social assistance.
Even Bob was about to get a real eye-opener.
Hopefully the day would be perfect. The weather certainly was.
Jase emerged from the Jetta as the Subaru pulled in beside him. He waved at Marisa and opened the other car’s back door. Charlotte and Liam tumbled out then ran to join in the fray. Charlotte and Lila grabbed each other’s arms and jumped up and down, shrieking, like the long lost bosom friends they obviously were.
Marisa crossed the yard, linking Bren’s arm and towing her along as she went. Icy. They should have sprinkled sand on the parking area.
Kristen emerged and rounded the vehicle to stand between Jase and a tall blond man. “Marisa! Thank you for inviting us. I’d like you to meet my husband, Todd.”
“I’m so glad you came. Nice to meet you, Todd. This is my friend Bren, the mother of Lila, whom you may have heard about.”
Kristen beamed and held out her hand to Bren. “I’m Kristen. Charlotte could hardly wait to come today and see her bestest friend in the whole wide world again.”
More Than a Tiara: A Christian Romance (Christmas in Montana Romance Book 1) Page 7