“I can’t see a reason why not,” said Harlow. “That is, unless Michelle doesn’t want to come back.” Harlow looked over at Michelle, waiting to hear her answer.
“I’m okay with that. Seems like it would be fun. That is, if Elijah is okay with a clumsy slowpoke tagging along for the day.”
Michelle laughed nervously, fidgeting her hands in her lap. “Oh, I insist,” said Monica, flailing her arms around excitedly. She hooped, hollered, and clapped as if she were at a sporting event.
I had to turn my head and cover my face to hide the big, cheesy grin that was spreading across my face. I felt giddy and silly, mostly from the comical way that Monica carried on, but also from the idea of being able to spend time with Michelle.
I couldn’t believe she had caught my attention as much as she had. She didn’t say much, but there was just something about her presence, sweet and demure, that endeared me to her.
It has been a very long time since I felt this way about any woman. Any person at all really.
“Well it’s settled, then,” said Monica. “Michelle will come back tomorrow to spend the day with Elijah.” Now, who’s ready to make our way back to Darren and Hope’s cabin before it gets too dark?”
The group groaned collectively. The sun was just beginning to set off in the distance, painting the sky with warm hues of orange, red and purple as it made its decent. Everyone clamored to put back on the layers of clothing they had shed not too long before and prepared to go back out into the cold mountain air.
Even though I was not ready for Michelle to leave, inside I was doing a happy dance as I started making plans for what the next day would bring.
Chapter 9
Michelle
The walk back to Darren and Hope’s cabin seemed longer than it was before. I wasn’t sure if it was a combination of it being a long day and eagerly anticipating crawling into bed or if I was just excited for all that would happen the next day. Even though it was slightly embarrassing, I was mostly happy that Monica had been there to speak up for me.
For most of my life I had been very soft spoken and shy. I’d always been overweight, so in school the other girls made me feel like I was too fat to be outspoken. So, I contented myself to eating my feelings in silence. Opportunities eluded me simply because I was too timid or ashamed to step up and demand to be counted. I felt the same thing happening with Elijah. Until Monica boldly spoke on my behalf that is.
When we got back to Darren and Hope’s cabin, the house was dark except for dim light coming from the living room. All of the children were lined up along the floor in their sleeping bags like burritos, their eyes wide open and glued to the cartoon movie that was loudly booming from their speakers. We all tiptoed into the kitchen where Hope’s mother was already putting on a fresh pot of coffee and hot water for tea.
“What adventure did you guys happen upon today,” asked Hope, looking at the excitement on everyone’s faces.
All of the children started talking at once.
“We saw this guy…his cabin is not too far from here…tons of animal heads were up on his wall from his hunting…” Hope tried to keep up with what they were saying, but they spoke too fast and all at once, so she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying.
“What are they going on about?” Whitney asked Harlow, bouncing their 3-year-old son Micah on her hip.
“We ran into one of our old SEAL buddies Elijah out in the woods,” answered Harlow, landing a quick peck on Whitney’s cheek and on the top of Micah’s head. “Apparently he’s been living out here for the past few years. He has a cabin that he just built and invited us over for a bit. We just left from there not too long ago.”
“Wow, I had no idea that there was anyone else living out here,” said Hope.
“And not just any somebody,” said Monica, a naughty look creeping up over her face. “A hot somebody who has eyes for Michelle.” Monica leaned her head back and laughed maniacally.
“Oh?” said Whitney, turning to look at me.
My face turned bright red.
“I’m not sure about all that yet,” I said quietly.
“Oh you know it’s true!” yelled Monica, sending a jab from her elbow to my side. “He was practically all over you the whole time we were at his cabin.” Whitney started smiling, giving me teasing looks.
“Ooooo Michelle!” she glanced around to make sure that no children were in earshot.
“Maybe you’ll finally get some dick.”
Monica and Whitney slapped each other high fived and cackled.
“I’m glad you said it first,” said Monica. “Sheesh! I’ve been telling this girl all damn day that she needs to loosen up a bit and have some fun.”
“Speaking of which…” said Hope, marching over to their pantry. After rummaging around for a few minutes, she emerged with two unopened bottles of Pinot Noir. She smiled giddily, dancing on her tiptoes.
The guys groaned.
“Point us in the direction of the real liquor,” yelled out Jensen, already a drunken mess from the personal flask that he had been popping in and out of his jacket all day.
His wife, also noticing his state of inebriation said, “Maybe we should think about slowing down there a bit hun. You know that if you drink too much, you’re going to wake up with a headache and hate yourself in the morning.”
Hope gathered wine glasses and poured wine to the brim. I could tell that this group loved their wine. I really wasn’t much of a drinker, even less so seeing what it does to my father, but I figured that it would be okay to have one glass. It might help to ease the pain from my banged-up knee and some joints that happened when I fell. The more time that went by, the more my body seemed to tighten, and pain was beginning to settle in. I prayed that I wouldn’t feel like I was in traction the next morning.
“Michelle is going to spend the day with Elijah,” gushed Monica, leaning over with her wine glass in hand, spilling a few drops on the floor near her feet.
Whitney gasped and stared at me with wild-eyed wonder.
“Look at you missy, coming out of your shell. How did all of this come about?”
“Well, she almost let the chance slip through her fingers. If I hadn’t been there to play matchmaker she would have completely missed it.”
“Well I still don’t think that it’s a good idea,” interjected Harlow grumpily. He crossed his arms, pouted and frowned like one of the many children that I had nannied, right before they were set to have a meltdown.
“Awwww! What’s wrong honey?” asked Whitney, playfully ruffling his hair.
“The guy just gives me bad vibes. Always has. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I know that something is just not right about him.”
Everyone got quiet as if considering what he was saying.
Until now I had been pretty unattached to the whole situation. They had known Elijah longer than I had and I was mostly just a bystander. But, it was really bothering me.
“I appreciate your concern Harlow,” I began carefully. “But I’m old enough to make my own decisions. I know that you have known Elijah for a lot longer than I have, but I think that Elijah could just be misunderstood.”
Harlow’s laughter was so loud and sudden that it startled me.”
“Trust me on this one Shelly. What I don’t understand is how this guy is able to pass as anything remotely human.”
They laughed heartily.
“Hey Jensen. Do you remember that time in the mess hall when Elijah was a new recruit… he hit a kid with a tray because he didn’t say ‘excuse me’?” Jensen shrugged coolly, one eye opened looking like he was about to pass out at any moment.
“Yeah. He ended up getting kitchen duty for a week and then turned around and tried to make the same kid choke on his tray by shoving it down his throat. Just weird if you ask me,” said Harlow shrugging.
“I remember hearing about that,” said Darren, snapping his fingers. Guys were comparing him to Hannibal Lector and warning ever
yone to stay away from him because he was woundd too tight.”
All eyes shifted to me. The uncomfortable stares made me both uncomfortable and irritated.
I thought back on the day and remembered how attentive Elijah had been, the worried look of concern on his face that had lingered long after I had fallen and everyone else had gone back to hiking, in their own little world. The softness in his eyes as he asked me if I was okay repeatedly, the warm way that he had invited me to his place in a cave and, told me a completely different story than the one that they were telling.
“I just think that he’s misunderstood,” I said quietly.
“Well hell,” said Jensen, as if he were coming back to life. “I guess that he must have been misunderstood by everyone in our whole unit. Because that guy was one weird little man.” He hiccupped, moaned, and slumped over, leaning his body against the wall. He started sliding out of his chair, landing with a thump on the ground.
“Should we try to help him?” asked Whitney, looking over at her husband, concerned.
“Nah. He will only get angrier if you try to move him. You might as well leave him there.”
“Yeah. And then I get to hear all about it in the morning while he whines like a baby about how much his head hurts. He’ll try to find some way to blame me for it, but I’m not going down alone. I am going to tell him that you all are partially to blame. Don’t think that I don’t know that you guys kept refilling his flask all day.”
She looked back and forth among the guys like a strict schoolteacher.
“We have no idea what you’re talking about,” the men all said in unison. They all looked like they were pretending to be innocent, an even bigger indication that they were guilty.
His wife just laughed and shook her head.
“Now back to this weirdo Elijah…” said Harlow, turning to face the group.
“You know that’s enough guys,” said Monica, her words beginning to slur from the wine that she was chugging. “I’ve sat and listened to you guys badmouth this man all night. It’s like you guys have a personal vendetta against him. Look, we all have our pasts and have done things that we weren’t exactly proud of. How unfair would it be if those were the first things that people mentioned when they met you? That’s not giving anyone a chance to form their own unbiased opinion. It’s very rude and insensitive.”
I agreed with Monica. I was trying to hide my own frustration with them… the way they were acting, but yet again, Monica was there to say exactly what I was thinking.
“Now, who’s down for a good old-fashioned drinking game?” sang Monica, shimmying her shoulders playfully.
I laughed as they started dancing around and chanting, “Drinking! Drinking!” They definitely knew how to have a good time. But I was exhausted from the day and wanted to make sure that I was as rested as possible for the long day ahead.
“You know what guys? I’m gonna go ahead and turn in.”
This got a string of booing and hissing from Monica, Whitney, and Hope.
“Yeah I know. I’m a party pooper,” I said, my eyes beginning to feel heavy from the glass of wine that I had drank. “I have to be up early in the morning. And as we all know, I’m no spring chicken.”
I smiled at my own silly joke, poking fun at myself. They all smiled back at me and said good night.
I walked down the long hallway to the guest room that Hope had extended to me, with the invitation to make myself at home.
I decided to do just that. I stripped off my clothes and threw them in a heap in the corner of the room. I turned on the shower, letting the water get hot. Steam billowed around the room, filling my lungs with hot air. Standing in the hot water felt wonderful. The intense heat from the water streaming down over my skin relaxed my tired and sore muscles. I got out of the shower feeling like a brand-new person, steam rising from my warm, reddened skin.
I stood in the mirror in front of the large double sink and looked myself over. My large round breasts sagged slightly. My love handles bulged out in ripples, making my plump midsection look like kneaded dough. It was no wonder that it had been so long since I had been with a man. No man is attracted to a woman who looks like a sack of potatoes.
Even though it had been a long time since I had been with a man, I still remember it as vividly as if it had just happened yesterday.
His name was Robert, but everyone called him Robin because his best friend was Steve, football captain and president of our class. They called him Robin because he was always attached to Steve, chiming in like a sidekick at every given chance. It was actually a real turn off, but I had been surprised that he wanted to go out with me that I was willing to overlook it. Steve asked my best friend Tiffany, and I had the feeling that she had something to do with him asking me. I didn’t really care, though. Even though we were best friends, Tiffany had a reputation as being easy, having hooked up with half of the boys at the school. There were plenty of times that we had gone out together, and because she had hooked up with someone… as she always does… she would hook me up as well. That way I didn’t always feel like a third wheel whenever we hung out.
So when Robert asked me out, with the most lackluster voice and dead eyes, I was almost convinced that he had been put up to some sort of sick joke.
When Prom finally arrived, he didn’t attempt to even be a gentlemen. He went to prom in a limo with a few of his friends and made it clear that I was not invited to come along.
“Let’s just meet up there later and then we can go back to my hotel room,” he said when we called earlier that day. I tried not to feel disappointed, but I was. Not only was I disappointed, but my mother had been as well. She was excited when I told her that I had a date and was going to prom. She took me shopping so I could find the perfect dress, turning to brag to anyone who would come within a couple of feet of us about how her beautiful daughter had a hot prom date. She made sure that she had plenty of room in her phone to take pictures of my date and I when he picked me up. She looked crushed when I told her that he wouldn’t be picking me up and that I would just meet him there. She burst into tears and locked herself in her bedroom. I didn’t know if I should feel more sorrow for her, or myself.
When I showed up at prom, Robert was nowhere to be found. When I finally saw him, he was disheveled and drunk, hanging all over one of the pretty cheerleaders named Megan. She was popular and beautiful, but everyone knew that she was jealous of Tiffany and wanted to be with Steve. But that didn’t stop Robert from taking full advantage of the situation and flirting with her.
At the end of the night Megan left with a group of cheerleaders, right after Steve and Tiffany made their exit.
Robert seemed disappointed when he came over to where I stood drinking punch and holding up the wall and said, “You ready to go or what?”
Happy that he was finally showing me some attention, I said “sure,” gathered my coat and purse, and headed out the door of the gym with him.
“See ya later man,” said one of his team mates, slapping him high five as we walked by. “Looks like someone is about to get laid.”
“You know it man,” he said, winking and punching Nick in the arm.
I covered my face, embarrassed that Robert wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he really wanted sex from me. He was cute enough and I had never been with anyone, so I toyed with the idea of sleeping with him.
We were the only ones in the limo since everyone else had already left for the night. I could hardly close the door before he turned to me and started trying to undo the zipper of my dress.
“Hey! Wait! Can’t we talk first?”
“I didn’t ask you out to talk,” he said, leaning in to kiss my neck.
Pushing him away, I said, “Well, I’m not ready to just jump into bed with you.”
He laughed and shook his head.
“Who said anything about bed sweetheart?” he asked, mockingly. “I was hoping to get a quickie here in the limo so that I wouldn’t have to waste m
ore money on a hotel room.”
There it was. He had all but told me that he thought that I was worthless. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was the moment that I realized that Robert was nothing but an immature boy and what I wanted was a real man.
Wordlessly, I got out of the limo and walked home. It was a chilly night and I was wearing uncomfortable heels. My house was about a mile away, but I didn’t care. I refused to put up with Robert’s disrespect a moment longer.
After arriving home, I told my mom about what had happened, tears running down my cheeks the whole time. She listened quietly with my head in her lap while she stroked my hair the way that she had always done ever since I was little and upset. She told me that she was proud of me and what I should look for in a man.
“A real man is going to be a gentlemen above anything else. He will think about your needs and desires first and will do everything in his power to keep a smile on your face. His own happiness will just be a byproduct of yours. He will never want to see you hurt and will certainly never be the reason for your pain. Michelle, all I have ever wanted for you is to find someone who can make you happy. I don’t want you to settle for any guy who comes along simply because he’s there or, for some reason, it’s easier…”
Her voice trailed off and she got a very faraway look in her eyes. I could tell that her thoughts were no longer on me, but herself and her own life.
My mother had been very unhappy with my father for many years. It was obvious to anyone who had really known her. She spent some days holed up in her room. When I was little, I would ask my dad what was wrong. He would just shrug and say, “That’s just your mother,” and then go back to watching TV or whatever mindless task that he was focusing on. As I got older I often wondered how he could be so aloof, so out of touch about what was going with the woman that he had promised to love, honor, and cherish. But after a while, mother would emerge like nothing had happened.
“Let’s go for ice cream,” she would say. And I would quickly let the confusion melt away with the first taste of a vanilla ice cream cone hand dipped in chocolate.
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