"And how did they determine…?"
"What was hateful and what wasn't?" Dad asks.
"Yeah, exactly."
"Good question. But at about that same time, there was a local petition going around and anyone associated with this cult was being shunned. So, the cult moved to a different location— where, believe it or not, even more people who believed in this hateful stuff lived— and your mom didn't go with them. She said she never meant to be hateful. She wasn’t a part of the super nasty stuff, more like, a churchgoer. So, she switched churches and toned down the fire and brimstone rhetoric."
I'm silent, letting all of this soak in.
"So," I finally say. "How does this explain what happened to you and her? I mean, other than the fact that she was nuts?"
"Well, she was insistent I join that cult at first. Obviously, I refused. So, then she said she just wanted me to believe in her religion and forsake worldly ways. I tried to do it, but I don't really know what she even wanted from me. Nothing seemed good enough."
"I know what you mean," I joke.
But in reality, it's sad.
"She gathered my entire record collection— which I've had since I was a kid— and burned them all," he told me. "And my concert t-shirts too."
"That's horrible!"
"I know. I went and downloaded some of the music, to salvage what I could, and that was it for us. She said I wasn't honoring my commitment to her to forsake all worldly ways, and that instead I was insistent on listening to the devil's music. She told me she wanted nothing to do with me. She left me."
"Wow."
I shouldn't be surprised. My mom has acted in similar ways against me. I should have figured she was lying and playing the poor victim when really it was the other way around. But it's still a lot to take in.
"I'm sorry that happened, Dad," is all I can finally think of to say.
"It's all right," he says. "It's not your fault. I feel bad for not being in your life. I tried to call, to file court papers so I could establish paternity and pay child support and get some visitation, everything. But she just kept moving around and sporadically answering but then disappearing again."
"That sounds like her," I agree.
"In the end, once you were old enough to— in my opinion— start making up your own mind, I sent you that card. Your mom called the number and told me that you had received it but didn't want to talk to me. She said that if you changed your mind, one of you would let me know."
"Of course, she did," I tell him. "She lied to both of us."
"I'm so glad you called me though," he says. "I thought I'd never hear from you again. I live in Chicago now— I moved out here for work— but I kept this number just in case. And I'd love to meet up and talk more."
"I'd like that too," I tell him. "I have to go to class now, but I'll call you this weekend and we'll set something up."
"That sounds great," he says. "And, college classes?"
"Yeah."
I realize I can tell him the name of the course—something I was never able to do with my mom.
"This one is Evolutionary Psychology."
"Sounds interesting," he says, and it's refreshing to not be judged by one of my parents at least. "I'm proud of you for being in school. Have a good class."
"Bye, Dad," I say, and head to Messer Hall after I hang up.
Now I have even more to tell Diana. Not to mention Derek. I'm so grateful my mom made him give me a mental exam as well as a physical exam. Both experiences have completely changed my life.
Chapter 30 – Derek
It's Elizabeth Jane's first day on the job, and I can tell that my business partners aren't too happy that I hired her without talking to them first. Or perhaps they're not too happy that I hired her at all.
"Don't tell me this is going to be a repeat of the Maria situation," Niles snaps at me, hissing under his breath.
"It's not," I tell him. "It's completely different."
"Get in here for the meeting," Niles says. "This is exactly the sort of thing we need to talk to you about."
"That's good," I tell him, smiling. "Because it's probably along the same line as what I want to talk to you guys about."
His face goes pale.
"What you have to talk to us about?" he repeats. "No, you don't get to tell us anything. We get to tell you what you need to do if there's any hope for this deal to go through."
I shrug and say, "Let's head into this meeting then."
I know that Niles is upset with me, but he shouldn't be making threats he can't carry out. I'm the brains behind this operation, and I own the lion's share of our business capital, so none of them can do much without me.
On our way to the conference room, we pass Elizabeth Jane. She's receiving instructions on how to answer the phone, and she smiles at me.
I look at her amazing ass and wink at her. I can't wait until I get to put my hands all over her later.
As soon as Niles and I walk into the room, the other partners glare at me. No one looks very happy to be having to have this discussion.
"Derek, we need to talk," Mark Roberts says, before I can even take a seat. I do anyway though.
"We don't know what you're thinking, getting really close and comfy with this young patient of yours and then bringing her on to work here, after what just happened with Maria," he continues. "But we can't tolerate it. You need to stop seeing her. In fact, it may be best if you take a leave of absence between now and when the merger goes through, just so that you don't do anything stupid and mess up the entire deal."
"I can't stop seeing her," I tell him. "It's impossible."
They blink at me, looking as confused and upset as they would if I had just told them we're not having a Christmas party this year.
"What do you mean, it's impossible to stop seeing her?" Jeff Richards asks.
"We're engaged," I tell them.
Now they look like they want to laugh their heads off at me.
"Engaged?" Jeff asked, incredulous.
"Yes, engaged."
They all look at Niles, usually my closest ally among the group, as if for confirmation. He throws his hands up in the air, as if signaling to them that he's as surprised as they are about this news.
"You don't get engaged," Niles says. "You're the ultimate player."
"Well, that's changed," I tell him. "That hot little number out there in the receptionist area is my fiancée."
"No," Jeff says. "Nope, nope, nope, I don't buy it."
"I don't either," Mark chimes in. "Just a few weeks ago, you were banging Maria and then begging us to help you figure out how to cut ties with her without bringing our whole company down. Suddenly you're a reformed man, engaged to a teenager you've known since she was in diapers?"
"She's nineteen," I say defensively. "And not since she was in diapers."
"I call bullshit," Mia Malone, one of the few female partners, says. "And I'd bet this Elizabeth Jane Suttell— isn't that her name? — would say differently."
Well then, I'm glad I clued her in on my little scheme, I think.
"Yeah, doesn't she have that super strict, religious mother?" Niles asks. "Shirley. She'd never go for that."
"Let's bring in this new employee and supposedly new fiancée," Jeff proposes. "And ask her ourselves."
Perfect.
They're falling into the trap I'd set just as I'd planned, and even deeper than I’d imagined. I didn't know they'd ask her right here and now, but that’s fine with me because it'll be even more convincing that way.
Mia goes to get her and says, "I'll go ask her and try to handle the situation delicately, woman to woman."
"I want to hear what she has to say," Jeff protests. "If this girl cries sexual harassment, we're going to have another potential lawsuit on our hands. I demand the right to question her too."
"Fine," Mia says, rolling her eyes. "At least let me go break the news that we have some questions to ask her in a manner that seems like a little l
ess of a witch hunt, alright? I'll bring her back here to the conference room so that everyone can hear what she has to say."
"All right," Jeff grumbles. "That'll suffice."
"You sweating yet?" Mark asks me, as if they have me right where they want me, instead of the other way around.
"Nope," I tell him. "I'm too busy imagining my wedding night with someone so hot she'd never look at you guys twice."
I nod at all the other male doctors in the room, to make sure to include each of them. Some of them actually chuckle, and Jim Morestone says, "You're something else, Derek."
"At least I'm never boring," I agree.
Everyone looks like they can’t wait to hear what Elizabeth Jane has to say. And I can’t wait to see how the looks on their faces are going to change once she fills them in. I’m beginning to wish the conference room was equipped with a popcorn machine, because I know this going to be entertaining.
Chapter 31 – Derek
Before long, Mia returns, with Liz following her. I start to feel bad for dragging her in for questioning by these ignoramuses. I half expect her to be hanging her head down in shame, but she's looking at me with a naughty smirk on her adorable face, as if we’d rehearsed this part, although we hadn’t.
That's my girl.
I'm so proud of her right now. I realize how loyal she is to me and I want to do everything I can to be loyal to her in return. I've never felt this way for anyone else and I never even fucking knew that I could.
"Ms. Suttell," Jeff asks her, without even offering her a seat. "Sorry to bother you. We realize it's your first afternoon on the job, even though we didn't even know you were going to start working today. For just a couple of hours, after your class got out. We didn’t realize you were going to be working here at all."
The tone of his voice makes it clear that he’s not happy about any of these changes in circumstance.
"I'm sorry," Liz says, smiling pleasantly at his passive aggressive rudeness. "Is that a problem?"
"That depends," Jeff says. "On the nature of your relationship— if any—" he rushes to correct himself— "with Dr. Monroe."
"I see."
She still looks at him unflinchingly. Suddenly he looks nervous. I love how my little Liz can make a grown man— and a bully at that— flustered.
"I suppose that's our main question," he finally continues. "What, if anything, is your relationship with Dr. Monroe?"
"Why, he's my fiancé," Liz says, without missing a beat.
I want to get up and hug her. But I remain seated, with half a smile on my face, as if to say, "See? I told you so."
"Since when?" Mark demands.
She turns her polite smile towards him.
"Since just recently, actually," she says. And then she follows it up brilliantly. "Why? Is that a problem? I've only had a little time to review the employee handbook I just received, but I didn't see anything about someone's spouse or fiancée not being allowed to work here."
"It's not a problem if it's true," Jeff says. "But I still have my doubts."
"Come on now, calm down," Niles says, finally jumping to my defense. "You asked the girl a question and she answered it. What more do you want from her?"
"Details," Jeff says, nearly frothing at the mouth to prove me a liar. "He probably just told her to say they're engaged, to save his ass. Tell us when the wedding is," he demands of Liz.
I'm about to protest but without missing a beat, Liz answers.
"It's in two months," she says. "June 29th. I always did want a June wedding, Love.”
Now she smiles at me, and her cute little dimple makes me wish we were alone. Not to mention her quick wit and charm.
"There you have it," Niles says, convinced. "A June wedding."
"Where is this wedding going to be held?” Jeff demands.
Liz pauses, and only now do I start worrying.
Tell him we haven't ironed out the details, I try to say to her through telepathy. Not everyone knows where they're getting married yet. We could be venue shopping.
"Houghton Hotel, of course," she says, with a sassy little raise of her shoulder. "Where else is there to get married around here?"
I raise an eyebrow at her. Has she really planned all of this out? Or is she just this much of a good liar? She’s even got me wondering.
"They have the best weddings," she continues, not even batting an eyelash in my direction.
She sure is putting on a convincing show.
"But the one we're planning will far surpass all the rest. We're not doing the normal dove release. Instead, there will be two monkeys who are in love— they're an actual pair of monkeys in real life, isn't that cute?— who will perform for our guests while we take our first walk down the aisle as husband and wife.”
Jeff’s mouth is hanging open. And I can’t help but wonder: Where’s the damn popcorn when I need it?
“And forget about a horse drawn carriage to bring me to the ceremony,” Liz continues. “I'm going to be riding a hot air balloon, specially flown in from New Mexico for the occasion."
Wow.
She’s impressed even me, and I’m in on this fake wedding idea. But I certainly wasn’t in on all the elaborate details.
"All right, we get the point," Niles says. "There's going to be a big to do. The most unique and special wedding ever. We don't need to go through every item on your wedding to do list."
"I, for one, am rather intrigued and interested," Mia pipes up. "Do go on. I have a question about these details. What is your dress like?"
From the way her eyebrow is raised, I can tell she’s genuinely curious, rather than just trying to interrogate Liz like the men are.
"It's Berta, of course," Liz says.
"Well yes," Mia agrees. "Who else would you go with?"
"Exactly. It's the latest beaded lace and tulle ballgown. It’s called the Belle Rosa."
"Yes! I’ve heard of it,” Mia says.
Liz shoots me a look as if to say, “that’s impossible,” and now I’m sure she’s just making all of this up on the spot. There’s probably not a wedding dress called the Belle Rose, except in her very creative imagination.
“I saw Alison Brie wearing almost as nice of one, in Town & Country," Mia says. "Very nice choice."
"Well thank you," Liz says. "I'm sure you'll love to see it in person, Dr. Malone. You're all invited, of course."
"Oh, nice," Mia says, nodding her head approvingly. "I will most definitely be there."
"For the Berta," Liz says.
"And the hot air balloon," Mia admits. "And monkeys? Really?"
"You know it, girl," Liz says, beaming at her.
"All right," Jeff interrupts. "Well I, for one, have no idea if this girl is as full of shit as Monroe probably is, if she's as batty as her crazy mother—"
"Hey," I tell him. "Have some respect."
"It's okay," Liz shrugs. "I'm used to it. She is pretty batty. But I just found out that my dad's pretty normal, so at least only half of my genetics are defective.”
Her face turns soft and thoughtful, and I love how compassionate she is.
“Plus, my mom's had a hard life,” she continues. “She can't seem to take it well when others don't agree with every little thing she believes in. I've learned a lot about how not to be from her, which is almost as valuable as learning how to be. All I know for sure is that my marriage is going to last a lot longer than hers did."
She winks at me.
What an amazing person I'm engaged to, I think. Then, I have to remind myself. Fake engaged to.
It's just pretend. But I can't help but wish it was real, now more than ever. I'm so glad to hear that Liz was able to talk to her dad. I knew there was more to the story there than Shirley was telling her.
"But anyway," Jeff continues, annoyed. "All I know for sure is that she's not going to sue us for anything. She must really have the hots for Dr. Monroe, to go to these lengths to either actually plan to marry the guy or make up all this stuf
f about their planned wedding."
"It's not fake," Mia protests. "It has to be real. I need to see this wedding."
"You’ll be a guest of honor, Dr. Malone," Liz says, smiling at her again. “Don’t worry.”
"Okay, that's enough, meeting adjourned," Mark says.
"Just stay on your best behavior for the next month, if that's not too hard of a request," he tells me.
I shrug and smirk, knowing there’s not much he can do. I give the orders around here, not him.
"After this deal goes through, I really don’t care if you marry these monkeys along with this storyteller here, and all of you can go live in the zoo together,” he adds.
"Sounds good to me," Liz says. "I hear that monkeys make very good living companions. Now that that's settled, can I get back to being trained on how to do my job around here?"
"You certainly can," Niles nods at her.
"See you on June 29th!" Mia adds.
And with that, the hot, luscious ass that just saved my own walks out of the conference room.
Chapter 32 – Elizabeth Jane
I'm trying to learn how to keep patients' files, but I can't get my mind off the great performance I just gave everyone in the conference room. I don't know what came over me. I'm normally shy but I was determined to do what was best for Derek.
I feel that I deserve an ice cream sundae for my impressive lies, but instead I need to learn how to put the medical bills in one folder and the doctor's notes in another in the medical records files. I guess it’s time to concentrate on real life and on my actual job.
"Elizabeth Jane, Honey," calls a familiar voice. "Dr. Monroe would like to see you in his office."
It's Trisha, the nurse. I smile at her, grateful for a friendly face. Everyone else around here is obviously not too happy to have me around.
"His office, office?" I ask her, since I'm used to equating the examination room with "doctor's office."
I didn't realize until I started working here just today that each doctor has their own actual office. It makes sense, but it wasn't something I had ever had the need to go to before, so it hadn't crossed my mind.
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