Tangle of Need p-11

by Nalini Singh

  However, she’d seen and liked the man behind the mask, sincerely believed her family would too, once they got to know him. “We didn’t have explosive chemistry,” she admitted, “but I never expected that kind of passion.” Had thought her wolf too sensible for the wildfire she’d seen burn so many others in the pack. “I didn’t go around accosting brooding lone wolves then.”

  Riaz’s eyes warmed with quiet amusement, but he didn’t interrupt.

  “We were compatible in so many other ways, from our outlook on life, to our belief that loyalty was the core of a relationship, to the things that made us laugh that when he suggested we take our relationship to the next level, I said yes.” Her wolf had liked Martin well enough not to interfere with the human’s decision, but it had never demanded more, never hungered to tangle with Martin’s own wolf … never chosen him.

  “You didn’t worry about the dominance issue?”

  “Initially, yes.” It had been too important a question to blow off. “But you have to realize—by the time we moved in together, we’d known and casually dated each other for years.” Regardless of the impression others, including Tarah and Indigo, might’ve formed as a result of his remoteness around strangers, not once had Martin done or said anything to make her believe he couldn’t handle the fact of her dominance.

  “When I made senior soldier while we were dating, he gave me a beautiful ceremonial knife,” she said, wanting Riaz to understand how she could’ve made such a terrible mistake and how it might not have been a mistake at all—not then. “He’d bought it months ago, because he was so certain I’d get the promotion. He was proud of me.”

  Stroking hands on her thighs, the calm watchfulness of the predator that prowled behind the captivating shade of his eyes. “When did it start to go wrong?”

  “I can never quite pinpoint it.” The only thing she knew was that the change had bewildered her. “Maybe it was the reality of living day to day with a woman whose wolf was dominant to his own, the realization that if it came down to it, I didn’t need him to protect me.” All she had were guesses, because the death of their relationship had been a slow, insidious thing, hard to see until it was too late.

  “From what you’ve said, it sounds like he was the one who pursued you—could be he felt more for you than you did for him,” Riaz said quietly. “We both know you didn’t love him, not as a strong female wolf should love her man.”

  Stricken, Adria said, “While I was in that relationship, I gave him everything I had to give.” Hadn’t realized she had the capacity for wild passion, that the dark intensity she’d witnessed in packmates was a part of her nature, too. “If he was unhappy, why didn’t he say anything?”

  “Because he was a weak prick,” was the cold summation. “I can see why he might’ve reacted badly, but that doesn’t mean I have any sympathy for him.”

  Yes … Martin had made his own choices, held the responsibility for them. “I should’ve walked away when I first began to realize he’d started to resent me for my strength, but I couldn’t bear to give up and prove to those who’d warned me off a less dominant man that they’d been right.” God, she’d been so stubborn, so proud.

  “You’re a dominant female—being bloody-minded is part of the package.”

  She laughed, leaned down to play her fingers through his hair once more. “Yes, I’ve forgiven myself for that.” Because underneath the pride had been the honest desire to salvage a relationship that had started out with such promise. “And I think I would’ve accepted defeat sooner and walked away, but then … Martin saved my life.”

  She’d been out in a bad storm, searching for a pup everyone thought was lost when a tree had fallen on her. It had broken her leg and dislocated her shoulder as it knocked her into a stream that had been bloated to dangerous levels, where she’d hit her head on an exposed rock. Dizzied and disoriented, she’d begun to gasp in water instead of air.

  Having described the accident to Riaz, she said, “Martin has a bone-shaking fear of the water after almost drowning as a child, but he came out into the storm because he was worried about me, and then he dove into a raging torrent to save my life.” However, that wasn’t the most important part of the jagged jigsaw that had been their relationship. “He got me out, but as he was pulling himself out, a huge rock smashed into him, crushing most of his ribs and doing serious damage to his organs. He was in the infirmary longer than I was.”

  Riaz sat up, stroking his hands along her spine. “He used it, didn’t he, to hold you?”

  The top of the tattoo on Riaz’s left shoulder just visible to her in this position, she traced the curved lines of it. “I don’t know if it was conscious, but yes.” The pressure had been so subtle, she hadn’t realized what was happening for a long time. “I always had this sickening bubble of guilt inside me whenever I thought of ending it with a man who’d risked everything to save me.”

  After the relationship did end, she’d found herself unable to understand why Martin had fought to hold her even when it had become agonizingly clear they’d be happier apart. But if Riaz was right, if Martin had loved her in a way she hadn’t been able to reciprocate … it explained so much, even as it didn’t excuse the hurt he’d caused her.

  “Loyalty’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Riaz’s breath warm against her skin.

  “No … but taken too far, it can become a flaw.” Sliding her hands over his shoulders when his gaze darkened in knowledge, she gave a rueful smile. “Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, isn’t it?”

  He rubbed his cheek against hers. “That’s why it’s a bitch.”

  Again, she laughed, startled at the vein of humor within the solemn wolf with the golden eyes. “Well, I’m done with looking back,” she said, tasting the salt and citrus bite of his skin, the hint of bitter chocolate in his kiss exotic and intriguing. “I’m ready to live in today.”

  This time, their loving was an intimate dance.

  Long, drugging kisses, lingering strokes of her hands over a firm chest lightly covered by a sprinkling of hair that was an erotic caress against her breasts, and a ride as deep, as slow. His body arched under her own, his tendons straining white under the dusky hue of his skin as his hands clenched on her hips.

  She’d never felt as beautiful, as powerfully female.

  Chapter 28

  KALEB LOOKED DOWN at the body laid out on the cold metal slab, lit by the frigid white of the morgue lights. The corpse had been discovered four hours ago, been prioritized at the highest level of importance. “Your conclusions?” he said to Aden. The Arrow medic—trained to perform autopsies on fallen Arrows—had done the task himself.

  “Cause of death was a broken neck,” Aden responded. “From the on-scene examination, it appears he tripped and fell down the stairs.”

  Not an unbelievable occurrence, and nothing that would’ve drawn Arrow attention, except for the fact the victim was an anchor. All anchor deaths were investigated by Arrows, even when old age was an evident factor—born with the ability to merge totally into the Net, those of Designation A were too integral to its psychic fabric to risk any mistakes.

  Anchors had many functions, but their most important one was to stabilize and “hold” the PsyNet in place. They were the reason Psy could cross the world on the psychic plane without mental stress. The death of the one who lay on the slab had caused some minor ripples, but the temporary fail-safes had come into play the instant he disappeared from the Net, ensuring no major damage. Those in the affected zone would’ve experienced a faint headache at most before the network of anchors in the region realigned their spheres of influence to cover the gap.

  A single death would in no way stretch the network thin, but the loss of any anchor was a cause for concern. However, only a telekinetic at the scene could’ve prevented an accident that appeared to have been caused by a split-second physical error.

  “Do you believe the on-scene report?” he asked Aden.

  “Vasic and I both did a sweep of the pr
emises, found nothing out of order. The footage from his private security system also proved to be clean. Theoretically, a teleport-capable Tk could’ve ’ported in and ‘assisted’ in the fall, but why kill an anchor?” It was the most crucial question. “They have no political power, and their deaths do nothing except weaken the Net.”

  And regardless of political affiliation, every single Psy in the Net needed the biofeedback provided by the vast mental network. Sever their Net link and those of his race died an excruciating death in minutes.

  “Non-Psy?” Kaleb proposed.

  “If there was an intruder, it would’ve had to be a Tk. No other designation could’ve evaded the security system.”

  He met Aden’s gaze. “Judd Lauren is a Tk outside the Net.” It was a statement he made for many reasons.

  “Judd also has an emotional attachment to the members of his family,” Aden pointed out. “It’s reasonable to extrapolate that he wouldn’t want to cause harm to the young in the Net, and there is no way to control the widespread effect of an anchor’s death.”

  Weighing all the factors, Kaleb gave a small nod. “Even the most important aren’t immune to accidents,” he said, taking in the bruises on the body of the middle-aged man. “However, I want no unanswered questions. Do a secondary scan of the premises, ensure your first impression was correct.”

  Aden said nothing, but Kaleb knew it would be done. He and the Arrows had come to an understanding—but he didn’t make the mistake of thinking he had their total support. The most lethal fighting force in the Net was still making up its mind about him. What the Arrows didn’t realize was that Kaleb was evaluating them, too, the purpose of that evaluation nothing Aden and his men would ever guess.

  Chapter 29

  RIAZ PRESSED HIS forehead to the wall of the shower and let the water pound over him, washing away the sweat and grass stains, but doing nothing to erase the memories of the passion that had swept over him not long ago … and of the wild, sensual woman whose lush mouth was quickly becoming a private addiction.

  Shame, anger, desire, they all vied for prime position within the rigid tension that was his body. The idea of being with anyone else once he’d found the woman meant to be his mate, was so anathema to everything he had ever believed, that both man and wolf were bewildered, lost. But that wasn’t the only thing that had him feeling like shit—regardless of what Adria had said about being with him every step of the way during their first primal coupling, he wasn’t a man who mistreated women. It continued to shame him that he’d been so inconsiderate with her.

  A snapshot of memory, Adria’s hair tumbling around him in a silken waterfall as she leaned down to suck his lower lip into her mouth, releasing it in a delicious tease of a bite. “No more guilt, Riaz.” A husky order. “I needed that as much as you did. We can go slow this time.”

  Wrenching the water to ice-cold when his cock surged at the mental replay of exactly how slow they’d taken it, he grit his teeth until his wolf cried foul. Since he was about to turn blue, he got out, dried off, and pulled on a faded pair of jeans, the threads barely holding together above the left knee. A white T-shirt, socks, and boots and he was done. He ran a comb through his hair, rubbed his jaw. It scraped, the bristles hard. Since it was far too late for Adria’s delicate skin, he shrugged and left it.

  Heading to the small office he’d been assigned, he began to go through some paperwork Pierce had asked him to look over, figuring he’d grab dinner from the kitchen later, as it was only seven thirty.

  However, Riley popped in his head a minute later. “Dinner at my place tonight.”

  Riaz had returned to the den because he’d known he needed his pack. But after what had just happened, the painful decision he’d made to forget Lisette and continue his strange, sensual friendship with Adria, his wolf raised its hackles, wanting to be left alone. “Thanks, but I have a lot of work.” It wasn’t a lie—he was the lieutenant in charge of SnowDancer’s international business interests, Pierce and the others under his direct command.

  Riley leaned against the doorjamb, arms folded. “If you wanted to isolate yourself,” he said, “you wouldn’t have come home.”

  “Don’t push me, Riley.” He could feel his claws pricking the insides of his skin.

  “It’s what friends do. We’re running down in ten minutes.”

  Realizing he’d only end up brooding if he remained behind, Riaz gave in and joined Riley, Drew, and Indigo outside the den, the sky a soft dark not yet dotted with stars. “We waiting on someone?”

  Riley glanced over his shoulder. “Here they come.”

  Riaz didn’t need to turn to know that Adria was part of the group. But he did so anyway, saw that Hawke walked beside her. The alpha was laughing at something Adria had said, her face turned toward his, her damp hair caught in a loose braid.

  That laughter faded when her eyes fell on him, but her smile didn’t.

  Something hard and jagged in him eased a fraction, his wolf settling.

  And then they were moving, the pace comfortable, conversation being exchanged as they flowed through the trees. Adria and Indigo ran ahead, following Riley and Hawke, while Drew had ended up beside Riaz. It would’ve been an unexpected pairing a few months ago, but he and Drew had made their peace, the other man so settled in his mating with Indigo that nothing could shake him.

  A burst of feminine laughter, husky and generous.

  Compelled by a woman who was becoming important to him in a way that threatened to undermine the foundations of his world, he wondered what Adria and Indigo were talking about that had them so amused, decided it was probably one of those things a man didn’t want to know.

  “Sienna’s missing,” he said to Drew. “Unusual.” Newly mated men liked to be near their women as a rule—and Hawke was alpha, with the concurrent primal drives. His mate had also been in brutal danger not long ago. Continued to be, in many ways.

  “She’s training with Judd.” Drew must’ve done something via the mating bond, because Indigo gave him an arch look over her shoulder before returning to her conversation with Adria. Grinning, Drew added, “They’ll come down together after.”

  It wasn’t, Riaz knew, because Judd was a lieutenant that Hawke trusted the other man with his mate when the possessive urges of mating had to be running rampant through his body. “She’s so young.” It worried him at times, that Sienna Lauren wouldn’t be able to bear the weight placed on her shoulders.

  “You saw what she did.” A solemn response. “That kind of power ages a person.”

  “Yes.” Sienna showed no overt signs of it, but he knew she had to have paid a price for the cold fire that had saved so many SnowDancers. “Doesn’t matter, though—part of me still wants to protect her.” She had his respect, but that didn’t mean his normal instincts were dead.

  “Me, too,” Drew admitted. “Don’t think that worries her—the girl’s tough enough to handle an alpha.”

  Just like the woman in front of him, Riaz thought, was more than tough enough to handle anything he threw at her, the delicacy of her scent belying a steely core that had begun to fascinate his wolf.

  “You two are as slow as old ladies,” Hawke said, having dropped back to join them.

  Drew whistled. “Sounds like a challenge to me.”

  “That it does.” Catching Drew’s eye, Riaz slammed into Hawke without warning, taking the alpha to the ground.

  “What the—”

  Drew had already pulled off Hawke’s boots, stripped the laces, and thrown everything in four different directions by the time the alpha managed to get past Riaz and to his feet. “Those are my favorite boots!”

  Drew rubbed his hands. “Better find them then. Meanwhile, we’ll beat your ass to Riley’s.”

  Hawke bared his teeth—and the race was on, the women and Riley joining in. Riaz’s wolf grinned as it ran, happy in the most uncomplicated sense. The trees whipped by at lightning speed, and they spilled into the clearing that fronted Riley’s home,
a graceful stone and wood chalet set halfway between DarkRiver and SnowDancer territory, less than ten minutes later … to find Hawke and his boots waiting for them on the steps.

  “Damn it.” Drew scowled, hands on his knees. “We need to cheat better next time!”

  Hawke’s eyes went night-glow. “Touch my boots again and I’ll have Aisha broil you for lunch.”

  Chest heaving, Riaz shook his head. “We should make him run one-legged.” The alpha had been fast as a boy, but now he was fast. “Maybe weigh him down with rocks.”

  Hawke leaned back on the steps, resting on his elbows. “You’d still be eating my dust.”

  “Oooh.” Drew shook his head. “That’s a declaration of war.”

  “Boys!” Mercy stepped out of the house. “Be nice.” Her amused expression changed when it landed on Riley—who raced up the steps to claim a kiss, his hand large and gentle against her cheek.

  Dorian and Ashaya arrived at almost the same instant, pulling up in a hover vehicle they parked at the edge of the clearing. Riaz knew the man was one of Mercy’s closest friends, as well as Judd’s training partner on occasion. It seemed a strange combination—the former Arrow and a man who’d fit right in on a surf beach—but among other things, Dorian was deadly accurate with a sniper rifle.

  “Come on in.” Riley waved everyone into the house.

  They entered en mass to find the air rife with mouthwatering smells.

  “Yes.” Mercy fell back against Riley’s wide chest with a dramatic sigh, the back of her hand pressed to her forehead. “I slaved and slaved for you. I hope you appreciate it.”

  That was when a male head sporting the same distinctive red hair as Mercy’s, popped out of the kitchen. “I see someone’s pants are on fire.”

  “Shut up, Bas.” Mercy shooed away the tall man—who walked over to wrap his arm around her neck and tug her to his side in a scowling grip, as if she wasn’t a sentinel with her lieutenant mate standing right there.