by Vera Quinn
“You and your dang old cars. Do you have a hobby that isn’t life threatening?” Hanna knows my interest in anything that keeps me on the edge. I’m not an adrenaline junkie but I like excitement for sure.
“Cru, I thought you would be back on base by now. What’s up?” I ask feeling worried over his injury. At the look on his face I feel bad for bringing it up. “Nerve damage, and I don’ t know when I will be shipped back, or if I will be at all.” I can see by the look on his face this is not an option he is good with. “I really don’t know what is going to happen, but Monday I am being shipped to a new specialist, so this is my last weekend home. We were hoping Mase would make it home this weekend. Him and Jeb both put in for leave but all leaves were cancelled, and there is a black out on contact, so who knows if and when they’ll be in. I wouldn’t be here, but I caught a hop home to see our parents before I leave for the test.” Cru says. I know I need to get a move on, so I pick my bag up head up the stairs for a shower. “Do you think he’ll mind if I grab a drink?” Cru asks before I reach the top of the stairs. I turn and yell back down at them.
“Make yourself at home. Felix won’t mind.” Then I pick up the pace towards the bathroom. I shut the door and reach down and start the water, then pull the shower curtain closed so I don’t get water everywhere. I get in and rinse off and take a long breath and try to get the adrenaline under control that comes with the thrill of a race. I needed that little rush, but now I need to control it. For some reason I feel as if that proverbial other shoe is fixing to drop. The day’s events go through my mind and something is off. That new guy, Devil, bothers me, but something else is up with my dad. Hopefully tomorrow things will be made clearer to me, but I just feel something is way off. I step out and grab one of the towels to dry and get my bag so I can get my clothes out. My new sexy bra and thong will give me that lift to make me feel good about myself. I may not be all girly, but sexy undies make any woman feel good. I have a hot pink short tank that hangs down right above my belly button that has a silver hoop ring through it. Instead of my blue jean cut offs I would usually wear, I have a pair of tight fitting, low cut jeans. I leave my hair down and put a bit of mascara on then blow dry my hair and put some lotion and a small amount of lip gloss on and I am ready. I dig in my bag for my lighter boots and this girl is as ready as she is going to get. I look in the mirror and see my naturally dark skin tone, so the less is more look is definitely the way to go. My dark tan makes my belly button ring stand out and the pink tank looks good. I have a little junk in my trunk so I’ll pass. Not like I’m looking to impress anyone, but I like to look good for me. I just want to have a good time. I guess we can get this party started. I walked downstairs and just as I make it to the bottom I hear Hanna say to Cru “She is going to be so surprised. She has been missing him all day. Have you got it set Cru?’’ she turns when she hears me approaching. They all turn away from the table and say “Surprise!” I am completely confused and then I see Felix has his laptop set up and Mason is on the screen in a skype session.
“Oh no you didn’t!” I la ugh and rush over to the table. Mason’s strong sexy face is on the screen. I miss this man so much. He looks so tired. “Baby, is that really you? It has been so long. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!” I shout at the screen as if that would bring me closer to Mase. “How did you do this? I thought it was a no communication order.” Tears are welling in my eyes but I am trying to hold them back. I don’t want to miss a second of seeing his face.
“Hey baby girl. Order was lifted about two hours ago. I know I’m not there but this is the best I can do for now. I miss you so much. Stand in front of the screen so I can see you.” Mason says as he always does when we skype. I get in front of the screen and twirl around. “How was that?” I ask, laughing. I feel a little shy, which is completely silly considering Mase has seen me at my worst.
“You look beautiful. Too beautiful. I miss you so much.” Mase has a look o n his face. If I didn’t know better, I would say it was a guilty look. “I will try to be home soon but I can’t promise. I want to be there for you, I need you.” Now I know something is wrong. Mase never lets his feelings out like this, especially not so all the people here could hear them, he’s almost as bad as dad. He’s fidgeting and not looking at me but more to his feet. He looks uncomfortable.
“Mason is everything ok?” I look at him but he’s not looking at me. “Baby I love you, did everything go ok?” I ask quietly but Cru is looking at Mase too, as if he’s worried.
“Hey man, is Jeb ok?” Cru asks but he is keeping his eyes on me and I know something is wrong. “Oh yeah man, he’s fine. Went to shower and eat. I didn’t want to miss my chance to talk to Callie. We won’t be here very long and Jeb is giving me his time too. I need to talk to Callie alone if it is ok with everyone. It is important.” Mase lets everyone else in the room know we need some privacy.
“Are you sure about this Mase? You don’t want to wai t and do this when you get home? Everyone’s had a long day.” Cru says trying his best to talk Mase out of something. All of a sudden my stomach feels like the bottom fell out. I know that other shoe is about to drop. Mase must have to stay gone longer. I was afraid of this.
“You guys don’t go far. I can only stay on for a little while. Looks like you have plans.” Mase says but he still won’t look at me. The guys all get up and make it out of the room but I never take my eyes off Mase and he never looks me in the eyes.
“Mase, you’re scaring me. Is something wrong? You know if you have to stay longer we will work it out.” I say but somewhere in the back of my mind I know that is not it. I know…
“Sit down Callie.” I look at him because he usually calls me baby or baby girl, so I sit. “I love you, more than I can say but I have done something I am ashamed of and I never meant for it to happen.” Looking anywhere but at me, I finally get it.
“What have you done Mason?” this gets his eyes on my face. He hears it in my voice that I know. I have it figured out and he knows on the inside I am falling apart. Now his eyes don’t leave mine, “I screwed up babe. One night I was drinking and I had sex with one of the females here. It has been eating away at my conscience and I had to tell you. I wanted to be there to tell you but I don’t know when that would be possible and I can’t live with it anymore. Please, just listen.” As if I have a choice, I can’t speak, I can’t think, I can hardly breathe. I think I’m going to be sick. How could he do this? He swore he would never cheat on me. I never believed in an allconsuming love for just one person. I swore I would never fall in love. Love only means pain and I knew that. I knew, but I listened to him anyway. The woman that brought me into this world taught me that. If it doesn’t cause you physical pain, it causes you a heart breaking pain and this was definitely that.
“Did you hear me babe? Are you ok? You look pale. I have been waiting on you for so long. Please babe, say something.” I fight back the tears that want to leak out of my eyes. This man will not get my tears. He doesn’t deserve them.
“Let me get this straight. You cheated on me once in all this time, is that what you want me to believe?” I ask, hoping to get a straight answer out of him since he is cleansing his soul to me.
“This woman is the only one I have cheated on you with, but a few days after the first time she snuck in my shower and it happened once more. I swear it will never happen again. It was stress. It was a physical need. I have lived like a monk for you. I swear on our love it will never happen again. I will stay faithful to you. I swear it. Please say you forgive me.” Mason finally takes a breath and looks at me for an answer. I can’t believe this man and then a fury hits me. I think my head might explode. “Let me get this straight Mason Brumley, you cheated on me because of stress, need, and you want me to believe it happened twice but will never happen again.” I speak calmly through gritted teeth.
“Yes.” Just that one single word as a response. All of a sudden I get it, “Guys please come back in here.” I yell for my friends and they come ba
ck in and gather around the computer screen, but Cru comes in slowly and keeps back to himself. “Ok Mason. Let me rehash this for everyone. You have been waiting on me for over three years and you were under so much pressure and had such a physical urge that you cheated on me and it was so good you did it again and now you expect me to believe it won’t happen anymore.” I cut my eyes at him but I’m not finished, “and since Cru London is standing away from us I take it that he knew, so that means Jeb knows. How many more people know?” I feel like such a fool. How could he do this to me? He’s made me feel so guilty about going out with my friends and I have never even thought of cheating. Mason is going to say something but closes his mouth and looks at the floor. If this wasn’t so serious it would almost be funny, almost.
“There are a few guys here and a couple of her fr iends. Babe it meant nothing and she means nothing to me.” He spits out the dribble I imagine a lot of cheating people say.
“Well that makes it a lot better.” I am so hurt by his words, that he doesn’t even know how they would make me feel is beyond me. I am so done! “Well Mr. Brumley, that makes it so much better. Let me put a pretty little bow on all this. You cheated on me not once, but twice. Your friends and hers know. So you didn’t even try to keep it quiet. The sex you traded for me, nor her, mean anything to you. You have waited for me nearly four years and you had a physical need. That sounds right, correct?” I all but growl at him.
“Babe, calm down.” Mason says looking at anything he can but me. “I wish I was there to hold you. I would make you understand.” Felix walks up behind me and puts his hand around my shoulder and Sarah and Hanna move up behind me, but I feel their presence and it gives me strength.
“Mason, not only have you been waiting on me for nearly four years but I have been waiting on you. I have been saving my virginity for you. You have a physical need. I have been curious about sex ever since we have been together. Not only have you cheated on me but you have humiliated me in front of your friends. Now you say it or her meant nothing to you. So, you’re saying you threw away us for something that meant nothing to you. Just a physical release that is all we were worth. As if that wasn’t bad enough, on the night of my graduation, you skype me to ease your conscious. Does that sum it all up with a cute little bow?” I nearly spit out the last words.
“Babe, I love you. I just couldn’t keep it from you any longer. Look my time is almost up, we can talk when I get home or I can skype again. We have come too far for this to break us up.” He barely gets out.
“STOP!” I shout out with a shrill voice that even scares me and everyone around me jumps. They are not used to seeing this type of emotion out of me. “Do not move Mason Brumley, or I swear I will board a plane and come hunt you’re cheating ass down.” He stops and stares at me. I have never even raised my voice at him before. “We will not talk again, Mason. You will not call me or skype me or anything. You can go and screw your woman that you don’t care about and it won’t mean anything, and let all your friends know. Because our relationship apparently is not as important as nothing. We are done. I didn’t believe in forever, remember? Never forever, my mantra for years, even before I knew what love really was about. You made me believe, I took that chance, and for what? So it could be thrown away for something that meant nothing. For that I cannot forgive. You crushed my hope that something good could last.” I let that hang in the air and wrapped my arms around my stomach, just to feel something, but it’s just a dull ache that consumes me. I take a deep breath and hope my tears don’t fall.
“Tell Cru to pick your shit up at my house in the morning or I will burn it and you can burn whatever you have of mine I don’t want it or the memories. Thank you for reminding me there is never forever. Lesson learned. Have a good life and stay out of mine.” With that I walk towards the stairs but I look over to Cru, “You knew and didn’t say a word to me. I thought we were friends at least.” Cru looks at me as if he feels sorry for me and that just makes me feel worse and fills me with an ache inside my heart that I think will never leave. My heart is with a man that doesn’t love me the way I love him. I let myself get lost in him and I knew better. I turn and look at my friends, “if Cru is going tonight I will be going home. Please make your choice.” And with that I go back up the stairs and rush in the bathroom and let all the hot ugly tears fall.
Chapter 10
Callie I feel like I have cried all the tears I can possibly have. I never knew there was so many tears. I’m not a crier. I glance in the mirror and catch my reflection and I don’t recognize this girl in the mirror. I’m not a girl, I’m nearly eighteen, a woman in the eyes of the law. I never thought I’d be this person. I thought I was smarter. I told myself I would never give anyone the power to hurt me after the crap my mom put me through, but here I am. Broken, devastated, by a man. All of a sudden I am filled with an anger I have never felt before. I turn and grab a washcloth from the cabinet and begin to wash my face. I will not be this devastated woman. I will not give him the power to do this to me. Before I was with Mason I had a plan. I know only I am responsible for my happiness, and I may hurt now but I will get that back. There’s a tap at the door.
“Hey, can we come in?” Fe ask softly. I look one more time in the mirror and decide I will not let my friends down tonight. It is our night to celebrate. I can do this. I will do this! No man owns my happiness.
“Sure Fe, come on in, all of you.” I know they are all standing outside that door. The door inches open and there they are, my three best friends. We have been through everything together and I know they have my back, but I will not put them through this tonight. Our night. We are finally out of high school and we will celebrate, so I slap on the biggest smile I can muster. “Hey, is Cru gone or is he still down stairs?” As long as I don’t have to see his or any of Mason’s friends faces tonight, I can do this.
“I told him to leave. He called someone to pick him up out front. They left a few minutes ago.” Fe comes over to me and puts his arm around my waist pulling me in for a sideways hug.
“I am so sorry I brought him. I thought since he was Mason’s friend, it might make you feel closer to him. Now I guess that was all wrong.” Hanna winces when she says Mason’s name, as if saying his name could make me feel worse.
“We can all stay in and hang out and bash men tonight if you want, instead of going out. Eat junk food and get into Fe’s parents stash of alcohol.” Sarah says coming to my other side and moving a piece of hair that had fallen into my face back behind my ear.
“Hey, I’m a man and I don’t want to be bashed.” Fe gives us a playful injured look. “Come on Fe, take one for the team.” Sarah play punches him in the arm. I half laugh and half snort, “Yeah, come on Fe.” Then we all burst out laughing. “Ok, I am going to fix my face and brush my hair out and then we are going to get to that bar and party until they throw us out. This is our night to remember and I refuse to let anything or anyone ruin it. I can feel sorry for myself tomorrow, or not.” Then I give them a grin to reassure them.
“Are you sure? We don’t have to.” Sarah ask. “Yes, I am sure. I need this.” I turn and look into the mirror. “Will one of you grab my bag from downstairs? I need to cover this face.” Fe turns and heads downstairs to grab my bag.
“Are you ok? That was intense down there. I thought Mason was one of the good guys, he had me fooled.” Hanna takes the brush out of my hand and starts to brush my hair.
“Me too Han, me too.” I feel like I could break out in tears again but I am determined it is not going to happen. Sarah grabs the bag as Fe comes back in and starts digging for my makeup bag. “Here” she hands it to me.
I open the little bag and decide to do the works, smoky eyes and all. I look over to Hanna, “Will you get the car pulled up front while Sarah helps me?” “Sure thing” then she hesitates, “are you sure you can’t forgive him? I’m just saying, you two have been together a long time.” Then she smiles. “Of course this means you’re available for the
first time in nearly four years. You’re also not the designated driver tonight and it has been over a year since you let loose and got drunk with us.” She reaches for the door but waits for my answer before she goes through it.
“Hanna, I lost sight of what’s real in life. I let Mason blind me to reality. There are no happily ever afters, only what is right now. I want to live for right now.” I turn to the mirror to look at my reflection but turn back, “but that sounds good. The being available and not the designated driver.” I give her a small smile as she walks out the door. Then I turn back and apply my make-up perfectly and heavier than what is normal and it is time to start our night. “Let’s do this guys.” They have sat there quietly while I did my makeup and I guess they just didn’t know what to say. What can they say?
“Ok guys, she’ll be waiting. Let’s do this. Let’s forget all the crap and just have fun for one last weekend. Ok?” I look at them for an answer. “Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talking about.” Fe says. Always the optimistic. Tonight he will try his best to cheer me up and keep laughing. Sarah will be the one showing me the good side of being single and Hanna will play the part of trying to make me see I need to forgive him because I love him. She is the hopeless romantic. The first two I can take, the last one not so much tonight. Maybe she’ll find somebody to occupy her time tonight. I hear Hanna coming to the door for us, so we are out of here.
Chapter 11
Devil This bar is full and is wall to wall bodies. I can see the appeal, but this is not my idea of fun. Too many people and not enough space. I look around and I spot Tito and he shakes his head no, meaning no show of Callie yet. Dad and I make our way to the bar and order a couple of beers. I no sooner turn around and this tall blond walks up to me and puts her hand on my arm. She looks up at me and says in a voice trying to sound sexy, but only comes off as annoying, “buy me a beer handsome.” I am not in the mood for company right now so I give her my fuck off look.