by Paul Ruditis
“Piper,” Phoebe said as she came in behind her sister. Piper immediately sensed something was wrong by her sister’s tone. “Why does the nursery look like a petting zoo?”
Piper turned away from the crib to see several birds and small animals sitting quietly on the changing table. At first she had thought they were stuffed animals since they were totally still. They were staring intently at the baby, but not in a threatening way. It was almost like they were keeping watch over him.
“That’s a good question,” she said, turning to Paige. “It didn’t look this way when I left Wyatt with Leo. Although I’m not entirely sure I did leave Wyatt with Leo. Why don’t you fill us in on what we’re missing…Puck?”
“Puck?” Paige said. “Hello! I’m Paige. Your half-sister? I realize we haven’t known each other that long, but I thought you would recognize me by now.”
“You can drop the act,” Phoebe said, moving beside Piper so they were between “Paige” and the baby. She looked at Piper. “I’m guessing we both figured it out at the same time?”
Piper nodded. “When we vanquished the demon, I could feel my magic draining from me,” Piper said. “But the Bestiari Demon wasn’t the one doing it. All my energy was going straight into my dear sister beside me.”
“Our magic doesn’t work that way,” Phoebe added. “It doesn’t filter through one of us.”
“Of course, we should have figured it out earlier,” Piper said. “Paige has been a little off all day. What with the one-liners and the intense need to defend almost everything Puck said and did.”
“Is it so wrong to want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt?” Paige asked, though there was a slight giggle in her voice. She seemed to be enjoying this, rather than experiencing concern at not being recognized by her own family.
“And Paige never seemed to be around when Puck dropped in,” Phoebe added. “She burst into orbs when he came to meet us.”
“Will you please stop referring to me in the third person?” Paige said. “It’s a little annoying.”
“But in the media trailer, Paige was with us while Puck was on the TV screen,” Piper added. “That time, Paige was surprisingly silent, and we had all those questions for Puck.”
“Okay,” Paige said, holding up her hands in surrender. “You got me.”
Paige’s face broke into an inhumanly large grin as her body grew about half a foot taller. Her hair began to pale until it went totally bleached blond, and then white. Her feminine features twisted and changed into a more masculine—though slightly androgynous—appearance. And finally, her outfit changed into a flashy loud suit.
“Boy, you gals are better than I gave you credit for,” Puck said with glee. “I didn’t think you’d figure out that last part on your own.”
“Well, you had done your homework. You knew all about us,” Phoebe said.
“Did you think you were dealing with an amateur?” Puck asked, mildly offended. “Did you think my true reflection was going to show up in a mirror? Or that I was going to dip into some coffee ice cream even though Paige doesn’t like that flavor? I’m Puck. I was born waaaaay before yesterday.”
“Where’s Paige?” Piper asked. She hoped her sister was somewhere in the forest, setting up camp and enjoying an afternoon of meditation. But somehow Piper didn’t trust Puck to have let Paige get off so easily.
“Don’t you want to know why I enacted this incredibly intricate charade?” Puck asked. “Where’s your sense of curiosity? What happened to that wonderful investigative spirit we tapped into earlier?”
“We’d rather know what you’ve done with our sister,” Phoebe said.
“All in good time,” Puck said. “All in good time. But first, you deserve a reward.”
“Reward?” Phoebe asked.
“For helping me out,” Puck said. “Didn’t I mention there would be a prize earlier? I’m almost certain I did. Oh, and don’t worry about that personal gain nonsense. There are always ways around that.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Piper said. “Why don’t you make Paige our reward and bring her to us.”
“You and your one-track mind.” Puck laughed. “Anyway, I have to admit you were such good sports. I truly couldn’t have done it without you. You see, that particular Bestiari has been plaguing me for years. As strong as I am, I was no match for the pure strength of the animal spirits he had in reserve. Therefore, I needed the help of a pair of powerful witches—two of the most powerful witches in the world—to work with me.”
“Why didn’t you just ask for our help?” Piper asked.
“Well, where’s the fun in that?” Puck said, as if that explained everything. “Besides, how else was I going to decide whether you were friend or foe? I did say this was a test, after all.”
“I’d hate to know what would have happened if we had failed,” Phoebe said sarcastically.
“Me too,” Puck said darkly. Then he quickly returned to his perky self. “But you didn’t. Aren’t you proud of yourselves?”
“Why didn’t you just tell us about the demon and what he looked like?” Piper asked. She wasn’t ready to let this go. Puck had been playing games with them all day. They could have just gone in, taken care of the Bestiari, and gone back home, all before Wyatt’s naptime.
“I wanted to see you in action,” Puck replied. “I wanted to observe the Charmed Ones in their supernatural setting. Besides, I did give you clues along the way—like when I told you to stop clowning around.”
“Yeah, that was a big help,” Phoebe said. “I think we did pretty well on our own, thank you very much.”
“And imagine my surprise,” Puck said. “How would I have seen that you could prove yourselves so handily with the whole investigation if I had just told you everything you needed to know. I thought you had some kind of demon-divining rod that would start pointing every time you were near a demon.”
“That would be helpful,” Piper said.
“I just have one question,” Phoebe said.
“Actually, the two of you have had about a dozen questions, so far,” Puck said, “but let’s not quibble. What would you like to know?”
“If Tommy the clown had been with the circus for years, why didn’t he kill any of those animals before?” Phoebe asked. “And why did he stop going to the zoos to feed?”
“Um…that’s two questions,” Puck said.
Piper was starting to get annoyed. “Puck,” she said threateningly.
“Did you ever hear the phrase ‘you don’t pass excrement where you eat’?”
“I’m familiar with it,” Phoebe said.
“Same thing,” Puck explained. “The circus provided cover for the demon’s travels, and the animals were there if he needed them. But you saw how everyone was on alert after only two of the animals had taken ill. How long could he have gone on if he took an animal a month from the circus?”
“But he stopped attacking zoo animals,” Piper said, reminding him of the second part of Phoebe’s question.
“Okay, well, as we’ve already established, I’m one bad demon,” Puck said. “But my power only goes so far. Since I couldn’t stop the demon permanently, I cut him off from his source of prey. I found this nifty little spell that would keep the Bestiari from entering any place where I’d cast the spell.”
Piper had suspected that it hadn’t been the Bestiari’s idea to stop feeding at the zoo. “But why—”
“Why didn’t I cast the spell on the circus?” Puck said, finishing her question. “Because it only works on permanent locations. It doesn’t work on a moving circus, or an arena that brings in different events every week.”
“So you basically forced him to start killing the circus animals,” Piper said.
“I admit there was a flaw in my plan,” Puck said with genuine sadness. “But I knew that the circus was coming to San Francisco, home of the legendary Charmed Ones.”
“Stop it, we’re blushing,” Piper said, dryly.
“Oh you,” Pu
ck said with a wave. “And now, I must take my leave.” He cleared his throat and held out his arms to Piper and Phoebe. “Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends.”
Piper and Phoebe both crossed their arms.
“Fine,” Puck said. “Be that way.”
With that, he disappeared, leaving an echoing “Ho, ho, ho” behind him.
“Hey!” Piper yelled into the air. “Where’s our—”
Suddenly, Paige orbed into the room. There were twigs in her hair, a tear in her shirt, and her pants were caked with mud. She looked tired and disheveled, and surprised that she was back at home.
“Are you okay?” Piper asked.
“I am having one heck of a day,” Paige said as she collapsed into the rocking chair that sat in a corner of the nursery. “I’ve been stuck wandering through the forest for hours. I’m dirty, I’m exhausted…and some creep stole my backpack and tossed it in the river.”
“We heard,” Phoebe mumbled.
Paige didn’t notice and continued with her rant. “Then, I couldn’t orb home. I’ve been trying and trying, but nothing happened. Then, all of a sudden, I wasn’t even thinking about home, and here I am. I think it has something to do with this flower the guy stuck in my hair. I haven’t been able to get it—”
The flower fell to the ground.
“Okay,” Paige said, finally stopping for a breath, “what’s going on?”
“It’s a long story,” Phoebe said. “But we’ve dealt with the creep.”
“For now,” Piper quickly added. “I bet we’ll be seeing him again.”
Just then, a small rectangular box tied with a bow appeared on the changing table, right in front of the raccoon.
“Why is there—” Paige started to ask as she saw the row of animals. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“Shoo,” Piper said to the animals, but instead of running away, they disappeared.
Piper picked up the box, slipped off the bow, and opened the lid. She gave a defeated little laugh when she saw what was inside.
“What is it?” Phoebe asked.
“Our reward,” Piper said as she removed three slips of paper and showed them to her sisters. “Tickets to the Fletcher Family Circus.”
“Some prize,” Phoebe said. “I still have the comp tickets that Reed gave me.”
Epilogue
Dr. Jordan Kahn took a leisurely stroll through the parking lot he called home. It had been a long month, and he was exceedingly tired. A man his age shouldn’t have to put up with the crazy things that went on at a circus. He should be relaxing on a beach year round.
Oh, who am I kidding? He thought. I hate sand in my shorts.
Jordan laughed a dry laugh.
Since the afternoon performance was still wrapping up, he had no one to celebrate with. He had wanted to hoist a few with Reed, but the poor, overworked kid was too focused on trying to write a press release announcing that an elephant that nobody outside the circus knew was sick in the first place had gotten well. To Reed’s disappointment, Jordan couldn’t explain how the elephant had been cured.
Just chalk it up to one of those unexplained mysteries, he had told Reed.
Jordan finally reached his trailer. It seemed to be taking him longer and longer to get around these days. At least when he got inside he’d be able to pour himself some whiskey.
The two steps up to the trailer were getting harder to navigate as well. He refused to go in for the knee surgery he knew he should have. He had no use for medical doctors. There were very few maladies he had suffered in his lifetime that he couldn’t find a cure for on his own.
Once he’d gotten up the steps, he unlocked the door and ambled inside, silently debating if he would prefer Scotch or Bourbon.
“What the hell happened here?” he muttered as he discovered that his trailer was a complete mess.
“Oh, sorry. That was me,” his white-haired friend said as he came out of the back room. “I was just having some fun. I had to challenge the girls a bit. I couldn’t let them find those tapes too easily. If you ask me, that Bestiari Demon was far too easy to get rid of.”
“You are one strange creature, Puck,” Jordan said as he pushed some old magazines off the nearest chair so he could sit down.
“Let me take care of that for you,” Puck said. With a snap of his fingers, Puck straightened up the trailer, making it cleaner than Jordan had ever seen it.
“Thank you,” Jordan said as he sat. He didn’t know why he was thanking the little devil, considering that Puck had been the one to mess up the trailer in the first place.
“I have to say,” Jordan continued, “I didn’t think those two young ladies would prove to be so darned helpful.”
Jordan leaned down and opened the cabinet under the sink. He bypassed both the Scotch and the Bourbon and pulled out a bottle of rum. He set it down on the table beside him.
“You find the most unexpected things when dealing with the magical realm,” Puck said as he took a glass from a cabinet and handed it to Jordan.
“You don’t have to tell me that,” Jordan said. He had found magic to be quite useful over the many years of his life. It had all started back when he had met a young lady friend who’d told him she was a witch. The relationship didn’t last, but once he had learned there was magic in the world, he sought it out whenever he could.
Though he wasn’t actually magical himself, Jordan had managed to use otherworldly powers to his benefit once in a while. At over 325 years old, he was the oldest living mortal he had ever come across.
Of course, nothing had been more useful to him than the discovery that the mythical creature known as Puck truly existed.
“You’ve been a great help today, Puck,” Jordan said.
“I like to give back to the community every now and then,” Puck said. “You can’t always go around misleading travelers in the dark. It gets a little old.”
“Many things do, I’m afraid,” Jordan said, pouring rum into his glass.
When Jordan had realized that someone at the circus was behind the deaths of various animals across the country, he knew he had to do something. At first he was mad that he hadn’t noticed it earlier. But every time the news reported on the deaths at the zoos, the circus had already moved on to the next city.
In hindsight, Jordan realized how foolish he had been not to see that the murderer was Tommy. But they had been friends for so long, he had been totally fooled. If only Puck had told him before today who the demon was. But Puck liked to do things his way, no matter if they made sense or not.
It had been a brilliant stroke of luck the day that Jordan had accidentally stumbled across the spell to summon Puck. Considering the mythical being was widely known for his love of animals, Jordan knew contacting the prankster to ask for help was worth the risk.
Surprisingly, Puck had agreed easily. He even came up with the plan. Jordan only wished they could have found a way to stop the demon without losing any of his dear animals in the process.
“Well, I’d best be going,” Puck said.
“You sure you don’t want to have a glass?” Jordan asked, holding up his rum. He hated to drink alone.
“I have things to do,” Puck said. He held up a tacky old polyester suit Jordan had held on to since the seventies. As a man of more than three hundred, he had accumulated quite a wardrobe. There were storage facilities all over the world full of his old junk. “I think I’ll take this for my fee,” Puck said.
“Go right ahead,” Jordan said, happy to be rid of the thing.
“It was a pleasure doing business with you,” Puck said. After a bow and a salute, Puck disappeared with Jordan’s suit.
“Here’s to you, Puck,” Jordan said as he raised his glass. He smiled as he tipped it back, knowing that he had truly earned this drink. The liquid felt good as it slipped past his lips, but he nearly choked on it as it rolled over his tongue and down his throat.
Jordan spit out what was left in h
is mouth. “Puck!” he screamed into the air.
The merry little prankster had replaced his liquor with apple juice.
“Ho, ho, ho!”
About the Author
Paul Ruditis has written and contributed to books based on such notable TV series as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Star Trek, Queer as Folk, and The West Wing. He is the author of Charmed: The Brewing Storm and co-author of The Book of Three, the official episode guide for the series. He lives in Burbank, California.