MHB: (Laughter.)
WW: (Laughter.)
MHB: Why don’t you think people like her? What is it?
WW: I think the thing about Kim Porter that people question is that “Dallas Austin—I want to go to New York to be in the big city.” The Al B. Sure, Puffy. Everything is like so freaking methodical with her. And not for nothing, and you can use looks as a part of this, she always looks like she’s ready to fuck somebody up. Her look. She’s got a very intimidating look.
MHB: You think?
WW: I do. Come on! Puffy was sipping on J.Lo. He was with J.Lo when he was with Kim Porter. She’s like his ride-or-die ghetto stallion—have the baby, stand by her man. You know what I’m sayin’? People look at that as an old-fashioned ghetto tale, except with more money at the end of it.
Misa, I think, at least I look at you as a woman who met a young boy when you were a young girl. And you went on and you made your own life. Including getting married to a man named JoJo and having other children. I look at you as being removed from that foolishness right now. Puffy’s got his own thing going on. Kim Porter? She’ll be around forever. She’s not skilled.
MHB: (Laughter.)
WW: You know what I’m sayin’? She’ll be around until the end of time with him. And put up, it appears to me, with whatever he’s willing to dish out, because she has no other way. I guess my question to you ultimately is: Is Kim Porter a chicken head?
MHB: I don’t want to call her names or judge her.
WW: Okay.
MHB: Remember when I gave you that scarf?
WW: Yes. It was a pink scarf.
MHB: And you said, “She probably got that for free”? I didn’t. I was like “She just shot my little gift down.”
WW: You bought it?
MHB: Yes.
WW: I still have it.
MHB: You think I’m like everybody else.
WW: Yes. I’m sorry.
MHB: Do you still think that?
WW: No.
MHB: Why?
WW: Because you came here tonight.
MHB: You would have thought I said I was coming and then wouldn’t show up?
WW: Yes.
MHB: Really?!
WW: Yes. I thought you would share tonight with a bunch of other girls in your cipher and then the haters. You know. And they would have been like “Oh, fuck her!”
MHB: You know what’s funny? I know everybody would be really surprised, because I used to get really upset. And I wouldn’t let your show be on in my office. It couldn’t be on in my car. People who sit in my car waiting for me had to change the station before I got in. Because I didn’t want to hear the things you were saying. And if I didn’t hear them, I couldn’t get upset. And mess up my day. So, I felt differently as time went on. And I think you’ve also changed.
WW: I have.
MHB: I think it’s kind of therapeutic for things that used to make me so angry. And then for me to sit here with you tonight, it’s okay.
WW: It’s not the worst, Misa.
MHB: No, it’s not the worst. And things are going to be what they’re going to be. And I know sometimes I’m too nice, or too trusting. And whatever you do, that will come back to you.
WW: I didn’t know that. I’m painting you with the same brush that I paint them—hard and calculating and so on and so forth. I consider myself as an outsider in this business.
MHB: I do too.
WW: You don’t see me hanging with the Baby and the Cash Money Millionaires and all of them. I—first of all, there was a point where I wasn’t invited to all of that. But now, I guess by virtue of cachet, I get invited to stuff all the time. But it’s too late. I’ve already discovered life outside the industry and I love it. I just talk about you people. I’m putting you in with them now. I comment on you people and what goes on in your lives. I really don’t live it. And when you say things to me like “mother to mother . . .” that works.
MHB: I was sincere.
WW: I know you were, but that’s like my kryptonite. That’s my kryptonite.
MHB: I’m not like them. I’m among them but not of that same thing. I’ve always been raised like that. Different things are important to me.
WW: Does JoJo . . . his position is with Def Jam. . . .
MHB: Now he does consulting. But he was director of A & R for R & B.
WW: So he’s able to contribute to taking care of you and your boys and your little girl? Nicely?
MHB: Yeah.
WW: What’s Kim Porter getting for child support?
MHB: That’s like a million-dollar question that I’d like to find out.
WW: That’s the million-dollar question?
MHB: No one knows the exact number. There are things that you don’t really know until you see it. I want to know.
WW: You’ll never really know.
MHB: I know it’s at least eight times what I’m getting. I do know that. At least.
WW: So it’s in the five figures . . . monthly.
MHB: Yeah. Yeah.
WW: Do you have a life insurance policy?
MHB: Yes.
WW: It’s not supposed to be like this [with the child support battle]. From my standpoint, as a gossip, you guys aren’t supposed to be here. You’re supposed to be able to work this out like Bruce and Demi.
MHB: Riiiight.
WW: If for no other reason than to save face for the public. Even if you get selfish and say, “Let’s not think about Justin,” think about saving face for the public. Diddy just ran the city for the kids, and he can’t even get the shit together for his own kid? Give me a fucking break! Give me a break, Misa. That’s not right. And he’s got a mom who’s alive who should be able to see him through to handle his baby’s mother’s situation correctly. Mother to mother, like you say to me.
MHB: (Laughter.)
WW: You know what I’m saying? You’re the original baby’s mother. You’re the mother of Justin, the king of all restaurants. It’s supposed to be better than this for you. I’m not saying he’s supposed to be giving you money to luxuriate, because you have a husband and if I were him, I’d feel resentful, too and “Not a dime more, because she can get what she needs from him.” But five thousand dollars a month? Isn’t that Justin’s security detail? I mean, gee.
MHB: I can tell you this much, the money he gives me, I could give him every month if it were the other way around. If he didn’t work and was keeping Justin, I could give him the amount he gives me. That just shows how far back in money level it is.
WW: Why haven’t you ever, ever said anything?
MHB: Publicly?
WW: To him!
MHB: I have.
WW: So what does he say to you?
MHB: No comment.
WW: Well, I have to tell you, this is not a good look for you two. I don’t know what you’ve done in order to get him to talk to you, for it to get to this point. But it’s my assessment of you, woman to woman, that you have done everything you could in keeping it quiet but letting him know, “Puff, I need more money.” And he’s obviously not been agreeable. So you have been forced to go public. He forced your hand. And you had to do what you had to do. That’s very negligent on his part. That’s very trifling. And it’s a matter of public record so people will find out what’s being paid, what has been paid, so on and so forth. Diddy can’t run the city without him taking care of his own kids.
MHB: I won’t say that he doesn’t take care of his kids, because he does. But we haven’t gotten our fair share.
WW: He went to check on the private schools—
MHB: I don’t want to talk about any of that—
WW: Okay, fair enough.
MHB: This is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. It’s extremely hard. It hurts me, it bothers me.
WW: Is Justin getting talk back from friends at his school?
MHB: Justin knew about this when it started. He hears things and it’s not anything new for him. He knows his dad loves him and
that his mom loves him.
WW: And he’s a wealthy little boy at the end of the day.
MHB: He’s like me; that’s just his life. He doesn’t know any different. I don’t raise my children as “rich” children. They have to clean up behind themselves. They have responsibilities. They have chores. They don’t get everything they want. They have to get good grades on their report cards. They have to leave their homework out so I can check it and if it’s not done well, they have to do it over. But when he goes with Puffy, he rides in private jets, he’s on the yacht that Puffy rented, whatever big boat that was.
WW: Sounds scary for a kid. Sounds fabulous for me and you.
MHB: He also spends time with other family members who may live in Co-op City. He plays with kids. The only thing is we have to watch him. Someone always has to always be there.
WW: Kidnapping is really real.
MHB: Can’t you just crack just thinking about that?
WW: Absolutely!
MHB: So that’s the only thing that’s really different. He has to be watched at all times. But sometimes he has people watching him and he doesn’t know it. I don’t want him to grow up feeling like “Where’s my mom! Where’s my dad? Where’s security!” I want him to grow up confident and secure because he is the big brother.
WW: Right. Did you get along with Jennifer? Lopez?
MHB: Yeah.
WW: Did you ever style her or give her suggestions?
MHB: No. But she was really nice, though. She was nice to Justin. She was nice to me. She was really nice. If they were in Miami, I would go to Miami and bring Justin and drop him off and she would say, “You don’t have to leave. You want to go swimming?” And I would say, “That’s all right.”
WW: I met her. I interviewed her. And she has—I don’t like to think I’m being duped—but she has a very, very soft, pink side that I really appreciated.
MHB: (Nodding in agreement.) Mm-hmm.
WW: She’ll make somebody a decent mother someday.
MHB: Yeah. She is really nice.
WW: Is she remotely in touch with Justin since the breakup? Will she send a card at holidays?
MHB: Uh-uh.
WW: Clean, as it should be. I was just asking.
MHB: She keeps in touch with Puffy’s mom. And she has asked about me and how I was doing. From what I was told, she admired my independence. She thought nice things about me. People get from me and him that it’s not still anything lingering there. It’s like I’m a sister. An old relative or something. Or they feel comfortable. And the type of person I am, there’s no bullshit with me. I’m pretty cut and dry.
WW: It makes it pretty safe that you have JoJo Brim. You’re married and have your own thing going on.
MHB: And I don’t carry myself like a slinky baby’s mother, always around. I have my own life, my own things to do.
WW: Go on with your life with your burgundy Louis Vuitton bag and your burgundy hat. And P.S. from a stylist’s point of view, I thought those were over, what do you say?
MHB: Maybe they are, but another interesting thing about me is that I don’t go by what other people are doing. I like what I like. If I like something from last year, I wear it.
WW: Okay. Okay.
MHB: I’m a girly girl. I like my hat and I’m going to wear it. If they say blond hair is out and I feel like dyeing my hair blond, I’m going to dye it.
WW: Yeah, you had red for a long time.
MHB: I had black for a long time too. I do what I want. You too. Pink is not in style.
WW: I do love my pink.
MHB: It’s funny. I was at the gym talking to this lady and she was looking at my nails. And she had burgundy nails. And she said, “I do this because it’s the style now. I do the pink in the summer.” And I was like, whatever.
WW: You seem to be a delightful woman. I don’t make friends in this business. I try not to because I don’t want to be caught out there, I want to be objective. But you are a very nice woman. It was nice talking to you.
MHB: It was nice talking to you too.
WW: Thank you, Misa. You are wonderful. I appreciate you coming.
MHB: The best thing about it is that it brings back so much history, so many memories.
CHAPTER
10
The Dirty Backpack Clique
There is a movement in hip-hop—one where the artists are into a natural, holistic, clean way of life. Many of them are vegetarian or vegans. They believe in a higher being and are into their spirituality. They are throwbacks to a more mellow time in our history—they are hip-hop’s version of the flower children.
I call them the dirty backpack clique. I imagine them with their dirty backpacks, filled with candles and incense, spiritual books, some nature bars, a few different kinds of herbs and oils. Most don’t wear deodorant. And they don’t drink hard liquor or take hard drugs. Marijuana is an herb, from nature, from God, so it is acceptable.
They are all about love, not war! India.Arie is the consummate dirty backpacker. She is the queen of the dirty backpack clique. She renamed her crew the Cosmic Citizens. And I accept that. And I believe India.Arie is a true cosmic citizen. She is my favorite cosmic citizen. I adore India.Arie. She is a wonderful woman. She has a beautiful spirit and a beautiful aura. I think she is genuine. And I really like that about her. She is in a class by herself.
But many of these dirty backpackers are hypocrites. They walk around talking about peace and love and the sisterhood and being all natural and being on a higher moral plane than everyone else, and they are the biggest offenders. They are the ones whose personal lives are in a shambles, who are rotten parents, and who morally need to check themselves. There are people who purport to live this lifestyle who beat their women and cheat on their men. And I’m not just talking about artists. There are everyday dirty backpackers, everyday people, who fall into this same category.
For women, if they answer yes to three or more of the following, they are officially part of this clique:
Is your hair chemical free?
Do you have more hair under your arms than on your head?
When you put on a bathing suit, is there hair hanging out of the sides of your bottoms?
Do you use Tom’s toothpaste?
Do you burn incense and avoid America’s Next Top Model like the plague?
Do you prefer Birkenstocks over stilettos?
These rules do not necessarily apply to those in entertainment, because the very nature of that business calls on people— women in particular—to put their backpack away and get beautiful from time to time. You cannot really stick to your dirty backpack convictions and expect to be wildly successful in Hollywood or even in music. You must wear makeup, put some polish on your nails, and wear some designer clothes and some pumps.
And while there are a few among the Hollywood backpackers who stick closely to their game—and I respect them for it—there are others who use it as a smoke screen. They are hypocrites who ride the dirty backpack mantra of being natural and real but whose lives are anything but natural and real.
There are those among the dirty backpackers who I deem to be judgmental and hypocritical. Lauryn Hill is one such dirty backpacker. When she came out with the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, we were all pumping our fists for her messages of overcoming, shaking free from the bondage of her previous relationship with Wyclef, making her own path. She received eleven Grammy nominations. She won five Grammys, including Album of the Year and Best New Artist. She was the “it” girl of the late 1990s.
Lauryn Hill should actually be in the “Whatever happened to . . .” chapter. But I believe she still has enough going for her to snap out of it and mount a comeback. But when I think of Lauryn, I think how sad her situation is and how sad it is that she has fallen so far.
So what the fuck happened to Lauryn Hill and where is she now? Lauryn spazzed out on us, lost it, and now is completely off the radar. I think it’s because all of that dirty-backpack, cosmic citizen sh
it was bullshit. Her whole image was built on a shaky foundation.
A problem that I have with Lauryn and people like her— many in the dirty backpack clique—is that they take a lot of pride in “keeping it real.” They preach this all-natural lifestyle. They talk about “the people,” and doing music and living a life to uplift the people. They talk about being natural and look down their noses on people with hair weaves, fake nails, and colored contact lenses.
Keeping it real? Really?
Some of them are into all of this spirituality stuff, yet they have no problem sleeping with another woman’s husband. Now, what’s that about? Or worse, some of them have no problem letting their man sleep with their cousin and have a child with that cousin. But people with hair weaves and fake nails aren’t keeping it real? Pu-lease!
So Lauryn Hill presented herself as what society should aspire to with her realness, meanwhile she is cracking up before our very eyes and the girls with the fake boobs and fake contact lenses are probably better represented in society than she will ever be. Because what Lauryn represents is some weak-minded farce. Weak-minded because she allowed someone to take her mind and she is still out there and still hasn’t managed to come back. Has anyone heard that last album of hers? Say no more.
There are many of these people who call themselves “all natural,” who supposedly keep it real, whom I have put in a dirty backpack clique. They supposedly have all of these high morals and values, until you really check them out. There is nothing worse than a person who thinks they are better than you, based on some phony moral beliefs, and then you find out it’s complete bullshit after all.
Lauryn is definitely a big disappointment. She had the biggest potential with all the Grammys, all the positive influence and leadership possibilities. And she just lost it. I must say that if your foundation is not strong, then you are going to crumble.
She did a big article for Rolling Stone a couple of years ago and said she would no longer be doing interviews for free. She now charges ten thousand dollars for an interview. I had managed to scrape together fourteen thousand dollars that I was going to give her for an interview. But I have decided that I don’t really care to pay her for what she has to say anymore. She’s irrelevant. I took that Lauryn Hill money and got my kitchen remodeled and I am very happy with that decision. A new kitchen made me much happier than listening to Lauryn Hill.
The Wendy Williams Experience Page 14