by C. L. Stacey
I cast my gaze downward. “Hmm?”
“Play with my hair.”
“What? You want me to braid it?”
“No!” she giggles. Then she holds up her hand. “Give me your hand.” I compliantly place it into hers. “Like this,” Ari demonstrates by bringing my fingers to the top of her head, using it to comb all the way through her long, soft hair. “Can you do that?”
“Sure. For how long?”
“Until your fingers fall off.”
I chuckle, combing my fingers slowly through like she taught me. “That good?”
“Feels nice.”
“Is this some sort of calming method I don’t know about?”
“You have no idea.”
No, I really don’t. But I like the smile that it’s putting on her face. She looks relaxed, peaceful. Beautiful.
Randy’s a fucking idiot.
“Ari?”
“Hmm?”
Broaching the subject carefully, I ask, “How’d your date go tonight?”
“It was fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Well, he was nice… we went to dinner, then we went drinking and dancing.”
My fingers still in her hair, and I’m tempted to yank on it. “How’d you manage to do that? You’re underage.”
Ari chuckles at the question. “I got a fake ID, like, two years ago, Caleb.”
My temper flares again, and I almost say something. Almost. Then I remember that she just got pissed at me two minutes ago, and I don’t want to make her mad again so soon. So, I let the moment pass.
“You think you’ll be seeing him again?” I change the subject.
“Nah,” she yawns.
Something about that answer puts a smile on my face.
The fireman couldn’t keep the fire lit for long, I’m not surprised.
What a fucking idiot.
Day five of seven. Her birthday. We’re supposed to celebrate with a bunch of her friends.
I’m seeing Ari differently now, and I’d hate it if I weren’t so curious about it.
Things I never took the time to appreciate before, all the little things, have suddenly magnified, making it impossible for me to miss. Things like how she has exactly seven different smiles, how well she gets and accepts my humor, how she laughs at literally everything. How she is with Ayli…
And I can’t stop watching her. I’m always watching her.
She picks up Ayli, I watch her.
She plays with Ayli, I watch her.
She walks into the room, I watch her.
She walks out of the room, I watch her (ass).
She talks to me, I watch her (lips).
We go running, I watch her (tits bounce).
What the fuck is wrong with me, seriously?
There aren’t too many things I’d consider wrong. I’ll try everything once. But Ari is Aryn’s sister, and the guy’s seen me through—almost—everything. He would never forgive me if I cross that line.
Honestly, it isn’t just Aryn that I’m worried about, because I don’t think that I could ever forgive myself if I hurt her in any way. Of course, I have no intention of doing so, but it’s me… I’m not exactly what you would call dependable.
Nothing’s changed. I live my life freely, without any rules or commitments. My life is mine, everything I do is for me. I know how it sounds, but it’s easier to have to only worry about yourself. This way the only person I’d have to worry about letting down is me.
My sudden fascination with Ari is just not worth gambling away the peace.
The fact that I could think these things at all about her makes me the world’s shittiest friend. Aryn’s my brother. Therefore, Ari is off limits.
Great, I think I just made it worse.
With a shake of my head to clear it of all the garbage, I knock twice before entering Aryn’s home.
In comes Ari in the cruelest dress known to man.
“Sweet son of a bitch!” I groan.
Thankfully, with the distance between us, Ari didn’t hear me.
“Hey.” She grins.
The black gown slits higher than your typical dress. With every step she takes toward me, it reveals more leg.
The slit goes on…
And on…
And on…
Finally ending at her hip…
That’s more thigh than I can handle.
What kind of sadistic asshole would design something like this?
I’m in a tremendous amount of pain, and I’m not so sure it’s a good idea she and I make any contact right now, so I move, too. Only I don’t stop to hug and kiss her like I normally do.
“Hey.” I pat her on the shoulder and pass her right by. “Where’s Aryn? I need Aryn.”
“Everything okay?” Ari’s hand wraps over my arm, and the contact makes me jump.
“Yea.” I distance myself, taking a few steps back. “I just need to ask him something.”
“He’s getting dressed.” Ari closes in on me, and I continue backing up. “Watch out!” Her hand clasps around mine when I nearly trip over one of the end tables.
I pull my hand from hers to catch the lamp when it wobbles unstably against the surface. “Shit! My bad.”
“What’s wrong with you? You’re weird today…”
“I feel sick,” I answer honestly, rubbing a hand over the line of sweat beading along my forehead. “Don’t touch me. It might be contagious.”
“Aw, here, let me see.” She comes at me again.
“No, I said don’t touch—”
Ari’s hand comes to touch my forehead before I can protest any more. “Well, you feel fine,” she comments on my normal temperature. “Maybe it’s some sort of stomach bug?”
Sure.
“Maybe,” I lie.
“Do you want a soda or something? Maybe it’ll help settle your stomach?” she offers. “It wouldn’t hurt to try…”
Yes. If soda’s the new slang for sex, that’s what I need. Soda.
“Okay, thanks.”
Ari turns to head for the kitchen, and I stay exactly where I am until she returns with a can of Sprite and a bottle of Pellegrino. “Didn’t know which one you preferred.” She holds them both out to me, and I take the Sprite.
“Thanks.” I pop the can open.
“You’re welcome.”
I chug the can, not because I need it, but I need to distract myself with something, or else I’ll just stand here gawking at her.
“Is it hard?”
I choke on the soda, coughing it back up, and it sprays everywhere. Some of it even comes out my nose.
“Oh, God!” Ari runs to the guest bathroom, returning with a hand towel. Then she pats my face down with it. “What the hell happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I cough again, still feeling some of it trapped in the back of my throat. “What did you just say to me?”
“I asked if it was helping!”
Jesus. Hard. Helping. Those two words don’t sound even remotely similar. My head is fucking with me.
“I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “I’m having a weird day.”
“Do you think you should be coming out with us today? Maybe you should skip it if you’re feeling under the weather?”
I’ve already missed too many of her birthdays. I’m not going to miss another. “No, I’ll be fine. I promise, I’m fine.”
Ari nods, only half-convinced. “Okay, then.” She opens the bottle of Pellegrino and pours it onto the towel in her hand, blotting the front of my jacket where the Sprite had splattered earlier.
There’s slight tension in her brows as she works, and it makes me feel a little guilty. She’s worrying herself over nothing. She thinks I’m sick. But I’m not. Well, sick in the head, yes. But not the kind of sick she thinks I am.
“You look nice, Ari.”
Pulling her gaze to me, Ari locks me in with her smile. “Thank you, so do you.”
“Happy Birthday.”
“
Thanks, Caleb. I’m glad you’re here.” She stares at my jacket again. “I meant to thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful. Hydrangeas are my—”
“Favorite. I know.”
Her eyes turn up to meet mine again, and I find a different look in them. I can’t quite place it. “What?” I ask.
“You surprise me sometimes.”
“Bad?”
She shakes her head. “I just wasn’t aware that you knew.”
“Of course, I know. I know you, Ari. Better than you think I do, apparently.” My mouth tilts in a half-smile when she laughs, conflicted by whether knowing so much about her is a good thing or a bad thing.
“You really do know how to make a girl feel special, Caleb Carlisle.”
“Only the ones who matter— HEY!” I shout, startling Ari, when Aryn comes walking out of his room.
Consumed by the task of fastening his tie, Aryn had no idea we were even standing out here. Not until I shouted a greeting loud enough to be heard from a mile away.
He shuffles back a step when caught off guard. “Jesus, Carlisle!”
“Do you need some help?” Ari leaves my side to tend to her brother.
“Sure.” Aryn lowers his hands, letting her take over.
This right here, the two people standing in this room, is the exact reason why being cautious is absolutely necessary.
I’m not sure what the hell is going on with me, but I need to get over it, and I need to do it fast.
After the week of Ari’s birthday came to its inevitable end, I was pretty eager to return to my life in LA. Out of sight, out of mind. Right?
Wrong. It’s like, she isn’t here, not physically, but she is, and she won’t fucking leave.
Things have spun way out of control. There is no escaping her. Crazy with need, I’ve tried fucking Ari out of my mind a number of times. Different women have tried and failed, proving that it isn’t just sex I’m looking for. It’s Ari. I need Ari.
Every miserable sap I’ve felt sorry for, I now understand. Something is terribly wrong with me. I have proof.
Exhibit A: My heart leaps—leaps—whenever her name crosses the screen on my phone. It happens every single time she takes time out of her day to call or FaceTime me, sharing with me all of her new experiences with Lena’s new line. I live for these moments; they’re what I look forward to. How do I ignore the fact that I’m the first call she makes whenever something exciting happens?
Exhibit B: When we’re together, in private, I can hardly ever keep to myself. I’m constantly trying to find excuses, mapping out different ways to make subtle contact. When we’re not together, I am imprisoned by and obsessed with thoughts of and concerns for her.
Exhibit C: Every chance I’m given, any small window of time I have, I’m on a plane ride to see her. Since Ari’s birthday in early October, I’ve returned in November for Thanksgiving, and then again in December for Christmas. I’ve extended this stay past the usual one-week mark because I wanted to ring in the New Year with her.
This isn’t going away.
At this point, I’m not sure if I even want it to anymore. As unsettling as this is for me, I actually like it very much.
Temptation is an ugly thing. It clouds your judgment and encourages betrayal.
Maybe this won’t be as bad as I think. I would never hurt Ari. Maybe we can somehow find a healthy way to make this work. If I could manage that with anyone, it’d be her.
It’ll have to work, because I can’t do this anymore. My curiosity is killing me. Also, I can’t stand the thought of some decent guy walking into her life, making her untouchable for fuck knows how long.
I’ve given everything I have to hold onto what little remains of my self-control, keeping in mind that Ari is the one right thing in my life that I can’t get wrong, but my will is fading. My heart keeps calling me out on every single lie I continue to tell myself, having successfully grown louder than the voice of my useless conscience.
It’s a new year. Maybe my resolution will be to become a better person for her. For her, I can be good. I know I can.
Maybe I’ll tell her that tonight. It’s the perfect time to do so. Aryn decided to skip this party, said that he’d rather ring in the New Year with his best girl at home.
Good for him. I’m proud of the positive changes he’s made, the sure steps he’s taken to becoming the world’s greatest father for Ayli.
Great for me. If our talk should go well, maybe I can find a way to work in a New Year’s kiss with Ari at the stroke of midnight, without getting my face smashed in by her brother. After I find a way to escape Natasha. She spotted me as soon as I walked through the doors, and then trapped me into having a conversation I checked out of a long time ago.
Natasha Silva, a Brazilian beauty, is one of the models Lena and I had chosen to help represent Denim Gene’s. Everything about her screams my type, from the curve of her hips to the curve of her tongue, demanding the attention of anyone she speaks to with that addicting accent of hers, but she’s no Ari.
Who I still haven’t managed to track down yet.
It’s almost midnight; I’m running out of time. We were down to the two-minute mark, last I checked. I’m going to miss my chance if I don’t find her soon.
I offered to escort her to this party, but I got held up with Lena when she called an emergency meeting, addressing the problems she has with our current photographer not being able to properly capture the vision she has for the line. I narrowed down my choices and left the decision up to her before I left to come here.
Where the hell is Ari?
I’m craning my neck to look over the sea of heads, but no such luck.
Finally acknowledging the fact that I am not listening to a word she’s saying, Natasha stands on her toes to look with me. “Who are you looking for?”
“Ari.”
“Oh, she’s over by the bar.” Natasha points her out to me.
I see her. But she’s not alone. “Who is that she’s talking to?”
“That’s Randy. He introduced himself before whisking her away.” Natasha shrugs. “Seemed kind of important. He wanted to speak to her privately.” Every single muscle in my body tenses at the sound of the snake’s name. “He’s her ex-boy—”
“I know who he is. What the fuck is he doing here?”
“Everyone’s here, Mr. Carlisle. It’s New Year’s Eve…”
My hands ball into tight fists when I see Randy grab hold of the hand Ari has resting on the bar.
The fucking nerve of the guy! What’s he trying to do, kick her while she’s down? What the fuck is wrong with that kid anyway? Why would you cheat on someone like Ari?
I mind my timing, calculating my way through finding my in. Ari’s smile falls, along with her gaze, at the contact he just initiated.
Good, don’t give him the time of day.
In my head, I’m ordering Ari to tell him to leave.
In my head, I’m walking over there and bashing his face in with my fists.
In reality, I’m already halfway to them. I don’t know what I’m fucking doing, I’m just walking. I’m gunning straight for the guy.
Ari looks up first, and she shakes her head at me, eyes silently begging me not to embarrass her. When Randy sees that he no longer has her attention, he turns to look my way.
Fucking weasel motherfucker! I’m fuming, rapidly closing the distance between us.
Then, I catch my first real glimpse of Ari, stunning in her shimmery silver gown. With a mind of their own, my feet turn at the last second, making Ari my target.
With the adrenaline that’s pumping through my veins, and the violent pounding in my ears, I hadn’t noticed the countdown had already started.
“THREE… TWO…” everyone continues to chant the last remaining seconds of the year we’re about to leave behind. “ONE… HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
I reach her in time. My hands come up, fingers sinking into her silky hair.
I really was planning to ta
lk to her beforehand, but I’m not thinking right now. I’ve had enough, I can’t think about this anymore, or I’ll just end up talking myself out of it.
“Caleb? What are you—” Ari gasps into my mouth when it comes crashing down over hers. Her hands wrap over my wrists, and I feel her nails dig into my skin. It hurts, but I don’t let go.
Tightening my grip around her hair, I give it a suggestive yank, silently giving my order for her to loosen up a little, and she does.
It’s everything I imagined it would be. Her pillowy lips are sweet and soft, a perfect fit against mine. A hungry moan passes from my mouth to Ari’s when she lowers a hand over my chest. The warmth of her touch burns through my shirt, driving me crazy with— I grunt softly when she pinches the shit out of my nipple. Not at all what I was expecting.
I break the kiss, but remain close enough for her to hear me when I whisper, “Ow,” through my teeth.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Are you drunk?”
“No, I just got here.”
“Are you high?”
“No!”
“Then what the fuck, Caleb?”
My gaze lowers to her lips, lingering there a while before delivering my warning. “Mouth.”
Ari scoffs at me in disbelief. “He’s gone. Let go of me.”
I blink myself out of my little daze, and I untangle my fingers from her hair. “I’m sorry,” I quickly apologize, placing some distance between us with a few steps back.
“What the hell was that?”
“Happy New Year?” I say, hoping to be let off easy.
She giggles, and I’m just thankful that she isn’t mad. “Right. Well, it was weird… so, please, don’t do it again.”
Ouch. Not at all the reaction I was hoping for. “Right, of course not. I won’t.” I force a smile.
Weird?
Seriously?
That was a bold-faced lie.
That was, hands down, the hottest thirty seconds of my life. He just helped me forget all about the shitty news I received from Randy.
It’s become a habit of his, fixing shitty situations. I may not show it, but I notice every little thing he’s done and is still doing. My life today would look exactly as it did before Caleb re-entered it back in August. I would still be miserable, and sad. Aryn would still be taking those business trips to avoid Ayli and me. Ayli wouldn’t have had the chance to bond with Aryn.