by C. L. Stacey
Just a few minutes ago, I was fine and joking about Caleb’s size. Next thing I know, I have tears in my eyes and I’m cursing his name.
When I manage to break my hands free of his hold, I smack him repeatedly against his chest and shoulders, and once across the face.
Caleb restrains me again, pinning my hands against the bed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You said rip!”
It is in no way his fault. I said rip. Fucking rip! I felt the rip. It feels like someone just sliced me in half.
“Oh, my God,” I sob, tears spilling down the side of my face. “That hurt so bad!”
A flurry of kisses comes raining down on me. Against my forehead, then another on the outside of my eye, then another over my wet cheek, over my nose, over my chin, a few up the side of my neck, then my jaw, the corner of my mouth, and then I shy away again when he comes for my lips.
Caleb maintains the hold he has over my wrists and rests his forehead against the side of my head, giving me a minute to get my shit together. Then he pulls back, and I feel his other hand guide me by the chin, forcing me to look at him. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me like he never has before, his gaze soft and sincere.
There’s an angry red mark on his cheek from where I struck him. “I’m sorry,” I whisper up at him. “I didn’t mean to hit you. It was just… reflex. I—”
“I really need to kiss you right now, Ari. Let me.”
I close my eyes, blinking away the tears that cloud my vision of his face.
Then I feel a wave of calm wash over me when he whispers the words, “Trust me. Please.”
I do trust him. I trust him more than anyone.
He leans in closer when I nod my approval, and I close my eyes when his lips brush softly against mine.
Lines are way blurred now.
“Kiss me back, Ari.”
My eyes open back up when Caleb pulls up just far enough to look at me, and I wriggle my hands around. “Let me go, Caleb.”
Caleb releases me and shifts his weight, now caging me between his arms, and I thread my fingers into his hair. “You okay?” He brushes my bangs aside, staring intently into my eyes.
“No.”
We laugh softly together, and he leans in to press another kiss against my forehead.
Here I lay, head resting between the strong, muscular arms of the man I used to only daydream about.
How the hell do I wrap my head around this? Caleb Carlisle… on top of me… inside of me.
Kissing me.
Sometime, during my little reverie, Caleb has decided to try again, pressing his lips firmly to mine. This time, I return his kiss, moving my mouth with his.
When Caleb draws his hips back, I whimper. I can’t help it. I was hoping to take it quietly, but the pain is too much to keep down.
No one told me it hurt this badly. None of the girls cared to mention it during story-time.
Caleb trails kisses from my mouth to a spot just below my ear that makes me feel tingly all over. “You feel…” he pulls back slowly, then eases himself back into me, “so fucking amazing, Ari…” he groans softly into my neck when rocking into me another time.
What pain?
All I feel right then is powerful and confident, while Caleb can barely string together a simple sentence. My body—me—I’m doing this to him.
“Nothing,” he whispers against my skin, “nothing in the world feels as good as this.”
I feel beautiful.
I don’t feel so much of the pain anymore. It hurts in a good way now. Caleb reads me perfectly, and I’m glad, so glad, because he’s trying different things, entering me in different ways.
Caleb drops his head next to mine, making sure not to miss a single word I may utter or sound I might make. I know this because of the way his body reacts each time I do. He’s learning about me; the things I like, the things I love.
I like when he bites into my skin.
I love when he kisses that spot below my ear.
I like that he knows just where to touch me.
I love the way he takes control of my body.
Grazing his thumb along my bottom lip, Caleb gingerly takes hold of my face, rolling my head onto its side. I shudder softly when I feel his mouth at my ear, teasing me by kissing around the spot, never directly on it. “Tell me again,” he demands. “Why me?”
“I trust you,” I whisper, breathless.
With those three words, Caleb rewards me, lips making contact with the spot on my skin that craves him most of all, then he slowly kisses his way back to my mouth. “That changes absolutely everything,” he whispers back.
What?
He gets on his knees, pulling me closer, and I watch him watch my body, his hands take their time in worshipping every inch of me.
All these years and I’m just now discovering there’s a whole other side to Caleb I didn’t know existed. This version of him is gentle, tender, and passionate. And he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.
Hot. I feel hot. It starts from deep within my belly, at first, before it spreads in a flash throughout my entire body, blanketing me.
“Dammit, Ari…” He picks up his pace, fingers digging into my skin.
The world quakes beneath me…
With one hand still clamped over my waist, Caleb glides the other over my breast before coming to rest over the base of my neck.
Teetering on the brink…
“Caleb…” My toes curl in, and I wrap my hands over his wrist, holding on for dear life. “Oh, God, Caleb!” I moan his name again and again when he moves his hips faster.
Let me fall…
If Caleb didn’t have his hand over me right now, I’d believe I was floating.
Rainbows and unicorns everywhere!
I’m trembling, still recovering from the aftershocks of my orgasm. It takes Caleb a moment longer to catch up, and his thrusts eventually slow before stopping altogether, falling from his own high with just my name on his lips.
I bring my hand around to the back of his head, lowering him to me for a kiss I can’t resist, and he chuckles into my mouth when I softly rake my nails down his back.
“That tickles.” He stamps me with one final kiss before rolling onto his back, and we both lay silently staring up at the ceiling, trying desperately to catch our breath.
I wonder about the time. I’d check my phone, but that requires way more work than I’m willing to put in at the moment.
Caleb tugs on my hair, urging me to look at him, and I do. “How’d me and my tiny dick do?”
I roll tiredly onto my stomach. “Meh.” I teeter my hand back and forth. “It was all right.”
With a laugh, Caleb swats my ass before getting up to head for the bathroom.
The water for the shower starts, and I force myself to sit up to check for the time.
“Shit!” I jump off the bed when I see that it’s almost three, scrambling to pull my clothes back on.
“Wanna shower with me?” Caleb comes walking out of the bathroom, in all his naked glory, stopping short when he sees that I’m fully clothed.
“I gotta go home, it’s almost three!” I shout, nearly tripping over myself when stepping into my shoes.
I guess I haven’t regained all the strength in my legs quite yet.
“What? Ari, wait, let me take you.”
I don’t want to risk even the slightest chance of Aryn getting the wrong idea, so I reject his offer. “No, I’m fine, I can just catch a cab. They have a bunch of them waiting for hotel guests downstairs, so there won’t be any trouble.” I run to the other side of the room to pick up my purse then gesture toward the bed with a smile. “I lied earlier. Thank you, that was fun,” I say before fleeing his room.
As wonderful and great as it was, what happened between Caleb and I will never happen again. It can’t happen again. I wanted to be flung, he flung me, and now it’s done. That was the deal I’d made with myself.
We’d gone all yesterday without speaking
. Not for lack of trying on Caleb’s part, because he has tried calling several times. I texted him back with excuses each time, telling him I was too busy to talk on the phone. Luckily for me, so was he. He and Lena spent all day securing a photographer she claims she has to have.
My reasons for taking precautions are simple. Caleb is someone I can’t stand to lose. He’s been a part of this family for far too long, it would devastate us, not to mention him.
Keeping a brief fling a secret is doable. Keeping an ongoing affair a secret is impossible.
At least I gave the most important thing I could ever give to anyone to someone I truly trust. It was a mind-blowing first experience, like I wanted. I will treasure that memory for as long as I live.
When the door to our home opens, my heart ceases.
Only one other person besides Aryn walks in without knocking, and he’s already home, locked away in his office while Ayli naps.
I hear him when he enters the kitchen, and I do my best to remain calm, loading the last cup into the dishwasher before closing the door. The machine responds as soon as I press the start button.
I feel him when his hand comes down over the front of my stomach, causing my breath to catch in my throat, and I close my eyes, squeezing them shut as I pray for self-control. He brushes my hair aside, and his lips make contact with the skin on the back of my neck.
Now I can’t feel my legs.
Caleb moves to nuzzle my hair. “Hi.”
How can a simple greeting hold such power? One word, two letters, and I turn into putty. I’m pathetic.
“Hi,” I inadvertently squeak, and I clear my throat when he takes notice with a chuckle. “Caleb, I’m dirty,” I warn him, eyes rolling to the back of my head when his hand travels further up, thumb teasing its way under my bra.
“If that was intended to work against you, I’m sorry to say that you only made it worse.”
I clear my throat again, squeezing myself from the narrow space between the sink and Caleb’s cock. “You probably shouldn’t touch me. Aryn’s in his office just down the hall.”
Tilting his head back, Caleb eyes me suspiciously. “What’s going on, Ari?”
“What do you mean?” I play dumb.
A thought crosses his mind. “Were you ignoring me yesterday?”
“No.” I fold and unfold my arms, shifting my weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. “Why would you say that?”
“Because you’re doing everything you can to avoid me now.” Caleb steps toward me, and I casually take one back, maintaining a safe distance of at least five feet from him. “Stop,” he orders me, tone heavy with his irritation.
“No, you stop!”
“Dammit, Ari…” he growls lowly. With two long strides, Caleb closes the distance between us, cornering me by the fridge.
“Caleb…”
“Shut up,” he cuts me off. “What the hell happened to not making this weird?”
“You’re making it weird, I don’t understand what you’re doing. Why do you keep touching me?”
A strange look passes over his face, and he takes a step back. Our signals got crossed somewhere. He genuinely looks confused. “I will ask you again, Ari. Give me a straight answer. Were you ignoring me yesterday?”
“I… kind of… may have…”
“Oh, my God…” Caleb scoffs softly, taking another step back.
“Oh, my God, what?”
“You regret it… don’t you?” he accuses. “I asked you last night—repeatedly—I couldn’t have been more clear. I asked you if you were ready, and you said yes.”
“I was! What are you talking about now?”
“What are you talking about, Ari? I’m not following.”
“We’re not doing it again, Caleb. The plan was to keep what happened that night a one-time thing…”
“A one-time th—” Caleb’s head jerks back like I’ve just struck him. “What the hell is that, Ari? I never agreed to that.”
“I said—”
“No, you didn’t,” he argues.
My mouth opens to argue right back. Then I realize that he’s right. I didn’t actually say. “That doesn’t matter…”
“Oh, I respectfully disagree. I asked you for the rules. You gave exactly two: Don’t let it change anything, and don’t tell your brother.”
So I never set a ‘one-time’ rule. But I never said I wanted a regular, ongoing thing, either. This was never supposed to be that. I said just sex. I thought I made myself clear, but I guess I was wrong. How much clearer could I have been?
“I’m telling you now. The rules can always be amended, Caleb.”
His face twists. “Since when?”
“This is my thing. I made it up, therefore I make the rules!”
“Seriously?”
“Um, yes?”
“Then I vote to veto that rule.”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Okay, fine.” He shrugs. “I’d like to make up one of my own little arrangements, and you have to partake, it’s only fair. Um, it’s called, ‘When Caleb Comes to New York.’”
“Okay?”
“Yea, and I have one rule.”
I roll my eyes. “Do I even want to know?”
“We have sex all goddamn day while I’m here.”
The only way I can think to react to that silly idea is laugh.
“I’m not kidding, Ari. I’m being dead serious.”
“What the hell makes you think I’d ever agree to enter that ridiculous arrangement?”
“What the hell made you think I’d ever agree to enter your ridiculous arrangement—if you made it clear to me, from the beginning, that you were only looking to do it once?” he retorts.
Excellent point, but I’m not about to admit that to him.
“Don’t be stupid, Caleb. It was just sex.”
“Just sex?” Caleb repeats. I nod. “Okay, you know what? Wait here, don’t move.” He steps away for two seconds, returning with a bag I recognize. The ‘Moreno’s’ logo is printed in red on the front, and I can see the grease from the Cubano already bleeding through the bag. “It’s your favorite. I know you love it, so I picked it up on the way here to surprise you.”
I blink up at him, surprised by the gesture. “Wow, Caleb,” I take the bag from him, “thanks so mu—”
Caleb swats the bag from my hand, making it fall to the floor a few feet away from me. “You get my drift?”
“What the hell!”
“Sex is my favorite!” he almost shouts, lowering his voice when he realizes how loud he’s being. “I had no idea that it could feel the way it did when I was with you, not until that night. Now you want to take that away?”
Of all the things I’ve mentally prepared myself for, I never expected Caleb to be the one to want more. I’m at a loss for words, truly.
Nevertheless, I cannot give him this. He just tried jumping me in the middle of the kitchen, for God’s sake. He’ll get us caught by the end of the week.
“Say something, Ari.” Caleb’s voice pulls me back.
I say the only thing that comes to mind. “You ruined my sandwich…”
“Fuck the sandwich, I’ll get you another one.”
Realization hits, providing me with the solution to Caleb’s problem. “There’s an idea. Why don’t you just go with that?”
“Go with what?”
“Go get another one.”
“Sandwich?”
“Girl.”
His brows pinch together at the sound of the idea. “Did I suck that badly?”
“No, Caleb, you were great.”
“Then why are you suddenly so against this?”
Not wanting to drag my brother into this, I go in a different direction. “I wanted my first time to be with someone I trust… and it was. That was it. Just sex. That’s as far as you usually go with the others, Caleb. It’s what I expected from you, I was counting on it.”
Okay, that came out wrong…
; Learning of how low my expectations were set, Caleb appears genuinely upset with me. “Don’t compare yourself to the others. You’re nothing like them.”
“Caleb…” I sigh. “That’s not what I meant. That came out wrong…”
“Do you have even the slightest comprehension of what you mean to me?”
“Of course I do, Caleb. Please, just listen…”
“You said that you trusted me. You have no idea how much it meant to hear you say that. Because, apart from our mothers, you are the only woman I’ve ever trusted, Ari.”
“I know that…”
“Do you, though?”
“Yes!”
“Then how could you expect so little of me?”
I shape my hands in the form of a T. “Time out.”
“No.”
“Seriously, Caleb, I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Tough shit, Ari.”
“Okay…” I pinch the bridge of my nose when my head starts to ache. “Can you honestly tell me that you and I are a smart idea?”
Caleb frowns, fixing me with a calculating stare. “Cubanos aren’t a smart idea for models, but you eat them anyway.”
“Are you serious, Caleb, with this food versus sex comparison?”
“The only two things I know…”
And therein lies my point.
With a shake of my head, I breathe a laugh. “You’re going to be just fine, Caleb.” I offer two sympathetic pats against his chest.
“Wait, what? What did I say?”
“Excuse me, while I go salvage my poor sandwich. I’m starving.”
“So was I…” I hear him say when I bend over to pick up the fallen bag.
God help us all.
We’re behind on our plans to launch this brand. We were supposed to release it during the Christmas season, but Lena didn’t take too well to the other guy’s ideas. I’ve already forgotten his name. Let’s just call him Shooter.
While Shooter liked to deal with the concept of joy and camaraderie between the models, Lena wants sex. Which led us to the decision of hiring a renowned fashion, celebrity and beauty photographer Stefan Rossi, who’s famous for tipping the risqué scale quite a bit. We flew him in from LA as soon as he accepted the job offer.
While I admire Lena’s ambitious spirit, we missed our mark. Lena Durev isn’t the most pleasant person to be around when missing a deadline.