by C. L. Stacey
But he’s nothing like Randy.
Then I remember what he’d mentioned that night, about being dumped by his mother, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Lucille is a kindhearted person, I can’t imagine her dumping Caleb the way he claims she did. She and Cameron didn’t start traveling around the world for their charity work until Caleb left for college.
That doesn’t count as abandonment.
“Hey, Aryn?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you a question about Caleb?”
“About Caleb?” He frowns. “What about him?”
I poke at my baked salmon with my fork, carefully considering how to broach the subject of Caleb’s mother. “We met Lucille plenty of times before…”
“Yea.”
“What do you think of her? She’s a nice person, isn’t she?”
Aryn shrugs. “She’s great. Why?”
Suddenly realizing that Caleb’s history with his mother is none of my business, I abandon the conversation with the shake of my head. “It’s nothing.”
“Ari…” Aryn sets his fork down, too invested in this to let me back out of it now. “What’s going on, why are you asking about Lucille?”
“It’s just… Caleb mentioned something about her to me once, and I can’t seem to shake it.”
“Okay…” He leans back in his chair. “Why don’t you tell me, and I’ll see if I can answer whatever questions you may have.”
I set my fork down and slide my dish aside, inching closer to Aryn. “He mentioned being dumped by his mother…” I say, resting my chin against the heel of my hand. “I mean, they traveled the world for good, selfless deeds, and that was after Caleb was all grown up. That hardly classifies as abandonment… right? Am I missing something? Is she actually a bitch?” I whisper the last part.
A look flashes across Aryn’s face. “Oh…”
He knows something.
“Oh?” I mirror. “What do you mean oh? I wanna know.”
“It’s really not my place to say, Ari…”
“What the hell, Aryn?”
“Mouth.”
“Heck!” I revise. “Caleb told me he’d tell me another day, so he obviously doesn’t mind if I know. Just tell me.”
“Let him tell you another day, then.”
“TELL ME!”
Aryn blinks at me, eyes filling with his curiosity. “Why do you want to know so bad?”
“He’s my friend, too.”
He snorts. “He’s like a big brother to you, Ari. It hardly makes you his friend…”
“That’s crap. We’re friends!” I say defensively.
My whining gives him a headache. When I whine enough, my brother usually caves. I think I’ve got him where I want him, because now he’s pressing his fingers into his head, like he’s trying to make me disappear. That’s usually the step before he just tells me what I want to know.
“Please!” I make that one extra whiny. “Please, please, please, please, please—”
“Christ, all right, I’ll tell you!” he shouts with a slam of his hand against the dinner table, startling Ayli. When her entire face turns down into a cry-face, Aryn goes right into soothing mode. “I’m sorry, baby, don’t cry!” He pulls her from her high chair, bouncing her lightly in his arms. “Don’t cry, don’t cry,” he sings, shooting me a deadly glare.
“You were saying?” I prompt him with a wave of my hand.
With a sigh of defeat, Aryn breaks. “Lucille isn’t the mother Caleb was referring to,” he says.
My eyes peel back as far as they’ll go, and I sit here staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of what my brother just said. “So, she’s his stepmother?”
Aryn shakes his head. “No.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Caleb’s mother deserted him when he was only three years old, leaving him in the care of his aunt.”
“Oh, my God, what a bitch!” I grate.
“Mouth, Ari!” Aryn barks.
I attempt to piece the puzzle together in my head. “So, Lucille is his aunt…”
“No,” Aryn pauses, an impatient expression taking over his face. “Look, Ari, Caleb’s had it pretty tough. This is his story to tell, so you’re going to have to ask him about this yourself. I’ve already said more than I should.”
It’s not enough information to paint me the full picture, but Aryn’s given me the biggest piece of the puzzle. Caleb’s been abandoned by the one woman whose sole purpose in life should have been to love and care for him.
No fucking wonder he has issues when it comes to trusting women. The most important one was a cunt.
After I scrub the kitchen down and get the dishwasher loaded, I head into my room and try to FaceTime Caleb again.
It rings for a really long time, until my request is eventually declined.
Disappointed by yet another failed attempt, I wait for the text I already know is coming.
Caleb: I’m busy, Ari. What’s up?
He always follows up with a text, just in case my call concerns something life-threatening.
Me: Just checking in…
I don’t get a response, so I type out another.
Another part of his pattern behavior this past month. Now that he knows that I’m not dying, he’s back to freezing me out.
Me: How are you?
Caleb: Fine.
God, I never knew one word could disappoint me so much.
Me: Okay. Take care of yourself…
I don’t even get a reply that time.
I miss her.
I’ve been pouting about this Ari thing for a fucking month. And I haven’t booked a flight to see her anytime soon.
She still calls every day, and I act like a complete dick to her each time. I told her not to compare herself to the others, promised her that she is nothing like them, but I’m treating her as if she is.
I don’t feel right about it, I hate it, but it’s necessary.
If Ari is convinced that we can’t make something work, then I need to find a way to stop needing her the way I do, but I can’t do that if she’s constantly in my face.
I continue doing my job as her agent, making sure things are running smoothly back in New York for her, but that’s about it. I haven’t talked to or FaceTimed her at all, just a few texts here and there when I lie to her about being too busy to talk.
My phone rings again and I check the screen. Lena.
“What do you want, Durev?” I answer, keeping my hands busy by pulling up my emails on my desktop.
“Did you see them?”
“See what?”
“I sent you an email.”
“Email of what?”
“The proofs. We’re getting ready to release them in a few days, they just need your approval,” she informs me.
After scrolling halfway down the page, I locate the email and click on the thread. There are a bunch of files attached to it, and I go ahead and click on the first one.
I gasp like a bitch when a full-body black and white photo of Ari fills my screen. While she looks exactly the way I remember from the first day of this shoot, there’s a very noticeable difference. She doesn’t look like a scared little doll anymore. The woman in this photo is a total vixen.
Of course I was worried about the progress of the shoot, but I left Liz in charge, trusting her to take over for me. She’s fully capable of running a routine shoot, and she understands that I consider Ari the asset, not Stefan.
It took two weeks for them to wrap. Whenever I called for updates, Liz would report that Ari was doing beautifully, but she says that about everything, so I wasn’t sure what to expect.
She and Stefan have obviously found a way to work with one another, because this photo is stunning.
Naked from the waist up, and all I see are Ari’s eyes. They steal complete focus in this shot. I zoom in on them, and I stare. I can’t help it. God, I miss her.
“Hello? What do you think?” Lena’s question snaps me out of my little
trance. I zoom back out to take in the rest of the photo.
The arm she has draped over the front of her body is subtle, doing its job in keeping the important parts private, and she holds her other hand up by her face, her finger just teasing her bottom lip as she stares right into what feels like the depths of my fucking soul.
“She’s fine,” I say.
Lena scoffs disappointedly. “Just fine?” she asks, completely missing the point of my answer.
I click to view the next photo, and the hand I have over my mouse curls into a fist.
I was wondering where her partner had gone in the first shot I viewed. Ken is in this one with her, their limbs twisted and tangled together.
In this shot, Ari’s back is mostly to the camera, showcasing the signature G of the brand logo, where the boy’s hand rests just an inch below.
“They’re all good, Lena.” I look through the rest, torturing myself by binging on the first dose of Ari I’ve had in a full month.
“Yea?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow night. I’m flying in for a few days.”
“Okay,” I answer, but I don’t even know what I’m agreeing to, I’m too busy staring at Ari.
“Bye, slut.”
“Bye.”
Missing her sucks.
It’d be too easy to say that I regret getting into all of this with Ari, but that’d be a lie.
I’m the first—and as far as I know, the only—man she’s ever been with.
There’s no way in hell I will ever regret that.
Not ever.
I’m in LA. Crazy, I know, considering the man I’m here to see clearly doesn’t want to see me. But he promised me that he wouldn’t let sex change anything, and he’s gone back on that promise. I guess you could say that I’m here to straighten this mess out. So, when I was given the opportunity to fly out to LA for a fun-filled weekend with Lena, I jumped at the chance.
When the elevator doors open on Caleb’s floor, I’m not at all surprised. It’s everything I imagined it to be; modern, sleek, simple, complete with a sexy blonde secretary.
The woman looks up from her computer and holds up a finger with a smile, kindly signaling me to give her a second. I smile back with a nod and take another look around the space.
Upon ending her call, she motions for me to come closer, so I do. “Hi! How can I help you today?”
“Um, I’m here to see Caleb.” My tone lacks confidence, unsure of what the protocol is for visitors without appointments.
The woman nods. “What’s the name on the appointment?” she asks, simultaneously tapping away on her keyboard.
“I don’t… have one.” I smile awkwardly.
“Oh…” The woman looks regretfully up at me. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Carlisle is all booked up for the day. You need to have an appointment scheduled prior…”
“Can you please call him and tell him that Ari is here to see him?” I ask, hopeful.
No matter how mad Caleb is at me, he wouldn’t turn me away if he knew that I was standing just outside his office.
“Ari?” she repeats my name back to me, recognizing it right away. “As in Ariana Andrews?”
I’m both surprised and relieved when she guesses correctly on her first try, and I nod. “Yes! That’s me, I’m Ariana.” I grin wide.
“I’ve heard so much about you!” she gushes. “My name is Bethany!” Bethany rounds the desk and extends her hand out to me, shaking it firmly when I take it.
“You’ve heard about me?”
“Everyone’s been running around, trying to get this new Denim Gene’s promo campaign together. You’re famous around here.” She shrugs. “Plus, I handle pretty much all aspects of Mr. Carlisle’s life, and your name comes up every time he makes a trip out to New York.”
“Ah,” I smile. “I see.”
“I think I can squeeze you in to see Mr. Carlisle right now.” Bethany glances down at her watch. “He doesn’t have much time, but a quick rendezvous is better than nothing, right?”
“Um…”
“Come on!” Bethany waves for me to follow, already halfway down the hall.
I practically run to catch up with her as she leads me down the private corridor. We reach a wide set of double doors at the end of the hall, and Bethany gives two knocks before wrapping a hand around the handle.
“Come in,” Caleb’s voice comes from the other side.
Bethany pushes the door open, following it all the way inside so she isn’t blocking his view of me. Doesn’t really make a difference, though. Caleb doesn’t even look up from his computer.
“I have Ms. Ariana Andrews here to see you, Mr. Carlisle,” she informs him. Finally, Caleb’s head swivels in my direction, eyes growing wider when they confirm I’m actually here.
“Ari?”
“Hey!” I beam.
“You have thirty minutes before your one o’clock, sir,” Bethany says to him before quietly taking her leave.
Caleb waits for the doors to close before standing and rounding his desk. “What are you doing here?”
“Here in LA? Or here in your office?”
“Both.” Caleb perches himself at the edge of his desk.
It bothers me a little that he hasn’t come to greet me the way he usually does, but I expected this reaction. I set my purse down on one of the couches in the sitting area before approaching Caleb. “Lena invited me to come out with her, she thought I should attend a few events while I’m out here to help promote the line. I’m here in your office because I haven’t seen you in a while.” I stop in front of him.
“I’ve been—”
“Busy,” I finish for him with a nod. “So, I shouldn’t worry, then?”
“About what?”
“You avoiding me.”
The muscle along his jaw strains as his eyes scan my body from top to bottom before meeting mine again. “I was just giving you what you asked for, Ari.”
Men. They behave however they want, and they get away with it. God forbid a woman act just as nonchalant, because then she gets labeled a bitch. Treated like one, too.
Before I agreed to this trip, I prepared myself for several different outcomes. I figured he wouldn’t be psyched to see me. I even predicted that he would throw this ‘giving me what I asked for’ bit in my face, but it still strikes a nerve.
I take a deep, calming breath in. “What I asked for?” I repeat. He shrugs, unfazed. “You should’ve warned me that having sex with you would turn you into a bitch.”
“Watch yourself, Ari,” he warns.
“I didn’t ask for this. I asked that you not let what we did change anything. I asked you not to make this weird. It was one of the two rules I set.”
“You added one without my consent. I thought it was only fair to take one out.”
“What does that even mean? Are we no longer friends?”
His jaw tenses again when he looks away then back at me. “What are you doing here, Ari?”
When avoiding a question, you’re still providing an answer. I’m disappointed in him, but mostly in myself. I don’t know why I ever believed this would be a good idea. I’m not saying that I regret it, because I don’t. I just honestly thought that we were stronger than this.
“I missed you, Caleb. It’s been a month since we’ve seen or spoken to one another. I thought I’d say hi…”
“Hi.”
Enough. This endless display of animosity is ridiculous, and I can’t weather another second of it. I have nothing more to say to this childlike version of Caleb. What a waste of a trip.
I turn around and lift my purse off the couch. “Great catching up.”
“Yea.”
“Asshole,” I mutter under my breath, slamming the door behind me.
This city is a whirlwind of crazy. People here are clearly on something, zipping through their days without taking a moment to rest. I can finally understand why it’s so hard for Caleb to make those trips out to Ne
w York.
Yet he’s done the best he could to make it out as often as possible since we reunited.
Lena has introduced me to every important person at this party. The meetings were so brief, making it impossible for me to successfully commit even half of them to memory. At this point, their names are just entering through one ear and then flying out the other.
Feeling overwhelmed, I reach out to clutch Lena’s arm. “Lena, can we slow down? I forgot almost everyone’s names.”
Lena swats her hand in the air. “Hon, you have no obligation to remember them. They are the ones expected to remember you. When word gets out after the campaign launches, job offers will start rolling in. And Caleb takes care of all of that. This is just a formality.”
“Oh.”
“Caleb wasn’t lying when he warned you about how busy your life will get, Ariana. You have to prepare yourself for the wave that’s about to hit or you’ll drown.”
“That’ll take time, though… right?”
“If you were with any other agency, yes. But Caleb has major connections in this industry, so no.” Lena leads us toward the terrace, pulling me along behind her. “I need a smoke, do you mind?”
“No.”
When we get outside, she pulls her pack from her purse, and I reject her kindly when she offers me one. “I had the toughest time when I started out. How the hell do you think I ended up where I am? I owe Caleb everything.” She lights her cigarette then blows away from me. “No one wanted to work with me. They said I didn’t have what it takes to last. I was a risk. Caleb was also just starting out when I met him. He’d left the agency he was working for when he realized how big of a player he was in this game. Models were seeking them out just to work with him; they didn’t want anyone else.”
“Wow.”
“Caleb doesn’t give himself enough credit, but he’s a fucking genius.” Lena taps a finger against her temple. “It takes a lot of money to start your own company, and investors don’t really tend to take that leap unless they know you. Everyone in this industry had learned who Caleb was, he left at the exact right time, but he didn’t waste his time with small meetings. He did his research and went straight to the one man he knew could give him everything he needed to start out. That’s where Jackson Anderson comes in.”