Big Fat Liar

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Big Fat Liar Page 3

by Cookie Moretti


  Callie wanted to cry. She didn't want to go on a blind date with another woman. She wanted to go on a date with him. But he didn't know that. He didn't even know that she was a girl. He didn't know that his best buddy 'Cal', is a big fat liar.

  "Cal? Please?"

  "Okay," she mumbled in defeat. She didn't want Chris to think she was a coward and she certainly didn't want him to be disappointed in her anymore.

  "What? What was that?"

  " I said okay!" She looked up at him. "Fine. I'll go. But only if Susan agrees after you tell her the truth."

  Chris grinned, looking pleased with himself. He patted her shoulder good naturedly. "See, was that so hard? I'm proud of you, buddy."

  Callie moaned and buried her face in her hands. What a mess! Friday was two days away and she desperately hoped that Susan would be outraged enough with Chris lying to her to say 'No' on the blind date.

  But Callie wasn't so lucky. The very next day, Chris called her from his work and told her to get ready to boogie on Friday night. Susan said 'Yes'.

  Chapter Two

  Callie stared at her reflection in the mirror and groaned.

  "You look fine," Chris said from behind her.

  She met his eyes in the mirror and groaned again. "I look like Mr. Potato-Head!"

  Chris rolled his eyes and came up behind her. "No you don't. And don't try to talk yourself out of the date¸ it's too late. We're meeting Brenda and Susan in a few hours."

  Callie moaned pathetically, making a face at herself in the mirror that wasn't at all very flattering to her round features. "Chris, I don't want to go!"

  "Too late. You're going. Now turn around and let me fix your tie."

  Shooting her reflection another pathetic glance, she pouted and reluctantly turned around to face Chris. "Not bad," he commented, reaching out to fix her tie since she had done such a lousy job at it.

  Callie stared at his face, heart already racing at his closeness. She could smell his cologne, strong and manly, not at all unpleasant. He looked so heartbreakingly handsome in his black Armani suit, so gorgeous with his short blonde hair cropped in a stylish cut but still had locks of hair devilishly hanging against his forehead, making him look like an irresistible rake from her beloved romance novels.

  Callie's fingers tingled to brush his bangs back, to feel the texture of his hair against her skin. But she held back, forcing herself to be content with watching his face set in a look of concentration as he fixed the brown tie that matched her suit.

  Ugh! Her stupid suit!

  A few hours ago, Chris had cornered her and asked what she planned to wear for their double date to the Fireman's Ball and when she had stared at him with a blank face, he had dragged her out her apartment and driven them to the mall so fast that they left skid marks.

  There, they went to Big & Tall, a men's clothing store where they spent an hour picking out a suit for her. Actually, Callie thought, sending Chris a dark glare; he had taken an hour to pick out a suit for her. She had been dying of embarrassment the whole time, hoping that no one would ask if she really was a guy. And then she had died with more humiliation when no one questioned her gender. They had all assumed she was a guy.

  Eventually, after trying on over a dozen suits that Chris himself had picked out, her tyrant friend finally picked a dark brown suit that she thought made her look too round. Now they were in his apartment bedroom where he had forced her to change back into the suit to help her get ready for a date that was two hours away. He must have thought that if he left her alone, she'd either destroy the suit or take off somewhere. He would have been right, Callie was ready to book herself a flight and jump into the Bermuda Triangle just to avoid this date.

  "There," Chris said, finally done with her tie. "Now your hair." He reached out a hand and raked her short hair back with his fingers. Callie closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his strong fingers on her. She had to catch herself when she began to lean forward, lost in the magic of his touch.

  "There." Chris took a step back and studied her. She laughed when he posed, thumb under chin as his eyes checked her out from head to toe. "Yeah, you look good." He grinned. "I should be a fashion designer."

  "You didn't design the suit," Callie couldn't help but point out with another laugh.

  Chris shrugged. "Fine, a fashion consultant then."

  Shaking her head at him, Callie turned and faced the long mirror again. "Chris, I'll never look good. I look...chunky."

  There was no other word for it. No wonder people mistake her for a guy, even she thought that she looked like heavy set man in the suit. Maybe she shouldn't have cut her hair a couple of months ago. She was sure that her short hair combined with her weight was the reason why people kept mistaking her gender.

  She had cut her long blonde hair to her chin and died it auburn as a symbolic gesture. Out with the old and in with the new. Now she wished she would have kept her hair long if people were going to keep thinking that she was a man. The only plus side to all of this was Chris, even though he was the first person to mistake her for a guy.

  "Stop knocking yourself down," Chris scowled at her. "It's the inside that counts right?"

  Callie snorted and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Would you date me?"

  "Sure, I'd totally date you." Chris met her eyes in the mirror, his own eyes sparkling with humor. "But you just have an extra equipment between your legs that I'm just not into." He patted her shoulder with a sad sigh. "Sorry buddy."

  Callie would have laughed if she didn't think that his mistake about her gender wasn't so funny. In fact, it was mortifying that he still couldn't see that she was a girl! Yeah, her voice didn't give her away either because it was so husky but still! It was really sad to feel so unfeminine around the man who made you fall in love with him. And Chris had made her fall in love with him. Somewhere along the past two months, her big crush had turned to love. She just couldn't see a world with Chris in it anymore.

  And he was completely oblivious to her feelings as he was to her gender...and in the end had set her up in a blind date with another woman.

  What a mess, Callie thought mournfully.

  "You're going to love the Fireman's Ball," Chris was telling her, checking himself out in the mirror as he tightened his black tie. "They have it every year to thank the firemen and give the profit earned with the tickets away to charity. Every guy is dressed in a tux with all the ladies in their fancy dresses." Chris winked at her through the mirror. "And there's slow dancing."

  Callie sighed, surrendering to her fate. "I don't know how to dance, fast or slow."

  Chris paused. "What?"

  Callie shrugged. "I don't dance. Never have." Not even at the parties thrown by her mother and sisters. Callie was just too clumsy and had absolutely no sense of rhythm to speak of. She'd just make a fool of herself if she even tried to dance.

  "Everyone can dance," Chris told her, unconvinced.

  "Nope," Callie shook her head. "I only know how to do this." Arms pressed stiffly to her side, she started waddling like a penguin.

  Chris's bark of laughter filled the room. Despite herself, Callie found herself grinning as he continued to laugh while she waddled around his room. She avoided looking at his king sized bed because it brought too many naughty images with him in it in her head.

  "Okay," he wheezed out, clutching a hand to his stomach, "okay, stop. Stop! I get it." He wiped his eyes. "Dude, that's horrible."

  Callie stopped waddling and shrugged again. "Told ya."

  "So you don't know how to dance? At all?"

  "Nope."

  "Not even something as simple as a slow dance?"

  "Uh-uh."

  Chris frowned. "Well hell, you at least gotta slow dance with Susan."

  Callie perked up. "So you mean I don't have to go on the date after all?"

  Chris sent her a dark glare. "No, you're going. I'm just going to have to show you how to slow dance."

  Callie blinked stupidly. "What?"
r />   "You heard me." Chris brushed past her to turn on the radio on his drawer. "It's not hard. I'll just show you a couple of steps."

  "Chris, I don't dance!"

  "Cal, anyone can dance with training." He turned away from the radio and faced her. "Okay, come on."

  Callie stared at him, mouth open. "Huh?"

  He waved an impatient hand at her. "Come here. I'll teach you how to slow dance."

  Was he serious!?

  "Cal." He sent her a stern look. "Come on."

  Hesitating, Callie took a step towards him. "I'm probably going to step on your toes and break them, you know that right?"

  "Then don't step on them," he answered simply. "Now come on." He sent her a charming smile. "Let's dance."

  "Oh lord," she muttered under her breath before closing the distance. Heart thumping against her chest, she let him take her chubby hands and place it on his shoulders before he gripped his own strong hands on her round waist.

  "Tell anybody about this," he muttered dangerously to her, "and I'll deny the whole thing."

  Callie laughed.

  "Okay." Chris straightened to his full 6'1 height. "Now, just start swaying side to side-no," he laughed when she started her penguin waddle, "no, not like that. Like this." Guiding her, they began to sway their bodies back in forth. "Yeah, like that."

  Callie looked up at him, her poor heart fluttering against her chest as her stomach burned with butterflies. Chris...he was just so...so beautiful, inside and out. To do something like this for her even while thinking she's a guy...he's such a good person. He was doing all of this for her benefit.

  Closing her eyes, Callie listened to the sound of the music coming from the radio and realized with a start that the song was a romantic song. A fitting song for a slow dance...a fitting song that matched what her heart was saying to Chris. Voiceless words he had no way of hearing.

  I'll be dreaming of you tonight, til tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight! And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be than here in my room dreaming about you and me...

  "Cal," Chris's voice broke through her mental singing, "you okay?"

  "Huh? What?" Callie's eyes flew open and found Chris's blue eyes on her.

  "You okay?" He repeated with concern.

  "Oh." Callie blinked, stepping away from him to wipe her eyes. Oh God! She hadn't even realized it but she had been crying. "Y-yeah, something must have caught in my eye."

  It was a pathetic excuse and they both knew it, seeing as her eyes had been close the whole time but thankfully Chris dropped it. "Right," he said, clearing his throat and suddenly looking embarrassed. "Okay."

  There was an awkward silence before Callie broke it by saying "Okay! I think I'll go to my own apartment now to get prepared and stuff." She walked around him, face flaming red with embarrassment.

  Stupid, she thought, mentally thumping her head. Stupid, Callie stupid!

  "I'll come get you in an hour," Chris said from behind her. "And don't try to run away, I put a tracking device somewhere on your body when you weren't paying attention."

  Callie opened his front door with a chuckle but didn't look back. "Yeah, yeah, I wont. See ya." She closed the door and let out a relieved breath. God! This was just all too much! Chris was just too much of a temptation.

  As she walked towards her apartment door a couple of steps from Chris's, Callie prayed that Susan called to cancel their date. But again she wasn't so lucky because exactly an hour later,Chris knocked on her door to pick her up.

  Chapter Three

  "Do it."

  "I don't want to!"

  "Cal, come on, man up! Go and get her!"

  Callie moaned and shook her head furiously. "You go get her!"

  Chris glared at her. "I'm not her date remember? You are."

  Callie returned his glare. "Yeah, thanks to you!"

  Chris stared solemnly at her, blue eyes taking that disappointed puppy dog look. Callie crossed her arms and shook her head, unwilling to fall victim yet again to Chris and his 'look'.

  "No," she grumbled stubbornly. "I wont do it."

  Silence.

  She refused to look at him but went on saying, "You do it."

  Silence.

  Beginning to sweat under the heavy silence, Callie shifted uncomfortably on her seat, very aware of Chris's eyes on her until she finally threw her hands up with a frustrated, "FINE! I'll do it! God!"

  Chris flashed her a wide grin. "Now, was that so hard?" He reached out and gave her shoulder a firm manly pat. "Go get her, tiger."

  "I wish I had a tiger to sick on you," Callie muttered as she jerked the car door open. Wiggling out of Chris's fancy blue Volvo, Callie slammed the door shut and straightened, already dreading her first encounter with her "date".

  Callie looked up at the dark sky glittering with stars. Where's a comet when you need one? She'd willingly step under it right now just to end her misery.

  "Cal," Chris's voice called from behind her. She turned around and found him already out his car, right arm extended towards her over the roof of the car as he offered her a bouquet of red roses. Callie's heart fluttered at the sight of him offering those flowers to her, suddenly being swept back to a fantasy where Chris confesses his undying love for her, here and now.

  "Don't forget to give her these," Chris told her, shattering her little fantasy to smithereens. Growling, she leaned forward and snatched the bouquet from his hand and sent him a withering look before turning around to stomp towards the cute little blue house that looked like a cottage surrounded by a small garden.

  "And fix your tie!" Chris shouted after her, "it's a little crooked!"

  Callie raised her free hand and flipped him off without turning around. Chris's amused laughter trailed after as she made her way to the front porch. The porch light immediately came on, nearly blinding her. Grumbling, she rang the doorbell.

  The blue door opened a few seconds later revealing a pretty woman in a clingy silk blue dress, with flowing straight black hair. The woman smiled at her, flashing her perfect white teeth beneath red painted lips. "You must be Cal."

  Mind going blank with nervousness, Callie shook her head 'no', then paused stiffly before furiously nodding her head 'yes'. Oh god, she thought, I'm making a fool of myself! Will she notice that I'm a fraud? Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick.

  Susan laughed, her brown eyes sparkling with amusement at Callie. "Well which is it, honey? Are you or are you not, Cal?"

  "I am," Callie squeaked then shoved the roses at the other woman. "For you."

  "Thank you." Susan took the roses and inhaled their scent. "I love roses!"

  Callie only stared dumbly at her, eyes wide, face pale. However in her mind was a different story. She can't tell that I'm a girl! Should I be relieved? This is so humiliating, can no one tell that I'm a she!? I'm going to murder Chris for this!

  "You're a shy one, aren't you?" Susan asked with a chuckle. "Chris told me you were. Well, I'll put these darlings in a vase and I'll come back to join you and Chris in the car, okay?"

  Callie nodded and turned, nearly tripping over herself to get to the car. Chris greeted her with a wide grin. "Good job, man," he praised her. "I'm proud of you."

  "I hate you," she shot back.

  Chris chuckled. "Buddy, by the end of the night you're gonna love me."

  I already do, Callie thought sadly, knowing that even though she said she hated him, she really didn't.

  "Here she comes," Chris said and whistled. "Damn, Susan, you clean up nicely."

  Susan laughed as she walked towards them, hips swaying back and forth seductively. Callie watched her and couldn't help the envy that surfaced. She could never look that good in a dress like that and Chris would certainly never look at her with pure male admiration in his eyes like that. Even though Susan was her date, she felt like the third wheel.

  "Cal?" Chris's voice broke through her mental self pity. "Aren't you going to open the door for her, buddy?"

  "Hmm? Oh!" Jum
ping, Callie quickly opened the door and pulled the passengers seat forward. "Errr..." she stared nervously at Susan, "a-after you."

  "What a gentleman you are," Susan said with a smile. "Thank you." And before Callie could react, Susan bent down and planted a kiss right on Callie's cheek before slipping inside the car.

  Eyes painfully wide, Callie stared after the woman before looking up to stare mutely at Chris. Chris winked at her and sent her a thumbs up before slipping back in the drivers seat. It took the slam of his car door closing to snap Callie out her shock but she still stood rooted to the spot for several seconds torn between the urge to make a run for it.

  "You coming in, buddy?" Chris asked her from within the car.

  Swallowing, Callie pushed the passengers seat back and wiggled back inside the car, extremely aware of Susan sitting right behind her. She could smell the woman's sweet floral perfume.

  "Alright then," she heard Chris say when she closed the door. "Let's get this show on the road and pick up Brenda."

  Ironically, when Chris turned the engine on, the radio blasted with Katy Perry's song "I Kissed A Girl." Moaning, Callie leaned forward and slammed her forehead against the glove compartment. Chris and Susan exchanged puzzled looks but didn't comment on Callie's strange behavior.

  If Callie envied Susan, then she hated Brenda.

  Fifteen minutes after picking Susan up, Chris parked his car in front of an impressive white two story house with a picket fence. From her seat, Callie watched Chris excitedly get out and jog around the car to the front door of the house where a woman was already stepping out to greet him. The woman was petite and slender, dark hair piled up stylishly above her head.

  An imaginary needle stabbed at Callie's heart as she watched Chris bend down to plant a sensual kiss on the woman's lips, snaking an arm around Brenda's waist to pull her up against his body.

  "Wow," Susan said from behind her, "she's gorgeous."

  Callie looked away from the couple but had to agree with Susan. Brenda is gorgeous. Hesitating, Callie looked out the window again and watched as the laughing couple walked back towards the car, Chris's arm still around Brenda's petite waist. The way they were beaming at each other, they looked like they were in love.

 

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