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Collected Poems (1958-2015)

Page 25

by Clive James


  For a no-holds-barred mass fucking.

  Brown females politely yawn while their admirers,

  Having dished out Nature’s usual idea of passion

  In less time than it takes to blow your nose,

  Go back to being brown

  Like the population of Rio after Mardi Gras.

  You can’t leave out the dressing-up factor.

  The chameleon, proceeding along a branch

  Like the second act of The Family Reunion,

  Reminds us of the bad year T. S. Eliot

  Wore green powder on his face

  When greeting guests for dinner.

  The whole damned island is chock-a-block with shape-changers.

  Have you noticed that sick parrot over there

  Is wearing John Galliano’s face before last?

  We should cut the poor bastard some slack.

  Hitler, after all, started out as a dress designer

  And never went near anti-Semitism

  Until the critical failure

  Of his first couture collection …

  Don’t look now, but in the third fork from the top

  Of the tree behind you is a lemur

  Doing a fair imitation of Coco Chanel.

  A bit too cute perhaps,

  Like Audrey Tautou in the same role.

  She’s coming down. She wants someone to pat her.

  Bubbler

  A lifetime onward, I know now the bubbler

  In the school playground said things in my ear

  As I soaked up the coolness with pursed lips.

  “Bellerophon, framed by rejected Antea,

  Has slain the Chimaera.”

  I was too young to know these whispering

  Refreshments were the classic voice of time

  Drenching the world. But it got into me

  Somehow, and when I wiped my mouth and chin

  My lips were tingling with the urge to speak.

  The bubblers, a generation later

  Fed girls of Asian origin with the rush

  Of ancient love-talk as they stood tiptoe,

  Their cheeks awash. “The coolness of the night:

  It penetrates my screen of sheer brushed silk

  And chills my pillow, making cold the jade.”

  Remember the brass guard to stop your kiss

  Short of the dribbling bulb?

  Yes, and I remember Aphrodite

  Fresh from the bath, as the maths star Pam Yao Ming –

  Who married an insurance man in Cabramatta –

  Remembers the Shang Dynasty.

  A Bracelet for Geoffrey Hill

  A standard day’s haul from the burial mound:

  Quartz cat’s eye cuff-links for a chain-mail shirt,

  A Stalin button and an Iron Cross.

  Small treasures liberated from their dirt.

  Elsewhere in Mercia, a king prepared

  For death took off his belt and doe-skin shoes,

  Unzipped his lap-top, cleared security

  And in the lounge sat back to watch the news

  Until his flight was called. The galaxies

  That showed up in the Hubble Deep Field frame

  On long exposure shine like pick ’n’ mix

  Sweets in their coloured shapes, no two the same.

  Thus thrives the densely wrought. The cloth departs

  And leaves the cinch more complex on its own:

  An all-star inscape spinning precious wheels

  In lattices of bronze, gold, pearl and bone.

  Subrius Flavus, Tribune, last to die

  When the plot to topple Nero came to naught,

  Knelt by the grave that had been dug for him

  And saw it was too shallow and too short.

  Ne hoc quidem ex disciplina. So

  He speaks in Tacitus. “No discipline

  Even in this.” When stripping a Bren gun

  Brush clean the butt-plate for the firing pin.

  Coherent multiplicity takes force

  For which the reader must be made to care

  By how it sounds, or else it’s just white noise.

  The symphony that lovely women wear

  Next to the skin gains weight when taken off

  And folded flat with tissues in between.

  From tight arrangements we deduce the role

  That each part plays, if not what it must mean.

  We only know that here the heat contained

  Speaks volumes about what was seen and felt

  And still astonishes, more now than then –

  Before the buckle came loose from the belt.

  The word-lord, fresh in from America,

  Lectures in Oxford. He knows everything.

  Note-taking Helen shivers at the thought

  She’ll be outlived by her engagement ring.

  The Shadow Knows

  See how the shadow of my former self

  Moves through the kitchen, putting plates away.

  The dishwasher yields up its treasure trove

  Of future shards from long-ago today.

  The blue-ringed soup bowls go home to their shelf.

  I get home often now, as shadows are

  Inclined to do, because they are so weak.

  Now that my work is done, the peace I love

  Is here for me, and you can hear me speak

  More clearly now than I spoke from afar.

  I am the shadow and the widower

  Because the innocent you were I slew,

  But you are here, and real, and far above

  My level of attainment. It is you

  Who brings me back to love what we once were.

  Grief Has Its Time

  “Grief has its time,” said Johnson, well aware

  It was himself he spoke for. Others must

  Be granted full rights to a long despair

  Fuelled by the ruination of their trust

  In a fair world. A child born deadly sick

  Or vanished: psychic wounds that never heal

  Ensure that wit, though it once more be quick,

  Will not be merry. Pain too deep, too real.

  Free of such burdens, I pursue my course

  Supposing myself blessed with the light touch,

  A blithesome ease my principal resource.

  Sometimes on stage I even say as much,

  Or did, till one night in the signing queue

  An ancient lady touched my wrist and said

  I’d made her smile the way he used to do

  When hearts were won by how a young man read

  Aloud, and decent girls were led astray

  By sweet speech. “Can you put his name with mine?

  Before the war, before he went away,

  We used to read together.” Last in line

  She had all my attention, so I wrote

  The name she gave me, which I won’t write here,

  And wondered how I’d come to strike the note

  She’d clearly heard in poems that were mere

  Performances beside the hurt she’d known:

  Things written for my peace and my delight.

  “Be certain, sir, we take a deeper tone

  Than we believe. Enough now for tonight.”

  Out in the street he spurned my proffered arm:

  His cobbled features caught the link-boy’s flame.

  “The love of God can get no lasting harm

  From fear of death. The two things are the same.”

  Yet all the way home he pursued the point

  As if the argument about God’s will

  Within him made him ache in every joint

  Until he reached the truth and could be still.

  Utmost concision, even in a rage;

  Guarding the helpless from experiment;

  Stalwart against the follies of the age;

  The depth of subtlety made eloquent –

  These were the qualities of Johnson’s mind

&nb
sp; Even the King felt bound to venerate,

  Who entered through the library wall to find

  The rumpled, mumbling sage, alone and great.

  Vision of Jean Arthur and the Distant Mountains

  Look back and you can almost pick the minute

  When the last power and spring of youth withdrew,

  And you began to walk, not run,

  Searching ahead for places to sit down.

  Really it’s been the one long day since then,

  But gradually invaded by this peace

  By which you are looked after. The light ebbs

  As it does before the heavens open,

  And the air fills with this strange comfort,

  As if there were a soft and loving voice

  Putting sweet emphasis on just one word

  To mark the moment of your growing old.

  Shane,

  You can’t just stand there in the rain.

  You’ll catch your death of cold.

  The Light As It Grows Dark

  The light as it grows dark holds all the verve

  That you were ever thrilled or dazzled by,

  But holds it folded thick, stacked in reserve.

  More for your memory than for your eye

  It brings back pictures that your every nerve

  Once revelled in while scarcely caring why.

  You care now. Time has come, and there will be

  No light at all soon, so look hard at this:

  Behold the concentrated panoply

  Just here in this small garden’s emphasis

  On colour drained of visibility.

  In daylight, such wealth might be what you miss.

  The flowers are growing dark, but they will live,

  And so will you, at least a little while.

  Good reason you should do your best to give

  All your attention now. It’s not your style,

  I’m well aware, to be contemplative:

  The thought of chasing shadows makes you smile.

  And yet I swear to you each figment had

  Full meaning once. The images are here

  That made your day when you would run half-mad

  For too much good luck. Now they reappear

  So fragmentarily you find it sad.

  But really it’s all there, so have no fear:

  The light as it grows dark has come for you

  To comfort you. It is the sweet embrace

  Of what your history was bound to do:

  Close in, and in due time to take your place.

  You can’t believe it, but it’s nothing new:

  Your life has turned to look you in the face.

  Plate Tectonics

  In the Great Rift, the wildebeest wheel and run,

  Spooked by a pride of lions which would kill,

  In any thousand of them, only one

  Or two were they to walk or just stand still.

  They can’t see that, nor can we see the tide

  Of land go slowly out on either side,

  As Africa and Asia come apart

  Inexorably like a broken heart.

  We measure everything by our brief lives

  And pity most a life cut shorter yet.

  Granddaughters get smacked if they play with knives,

  Or should be, to make sure they don’t forget.

  So think the old folk, by their years made wise,

  Believing what they’ve seen before their eyes,

  And knowing what time is, and where it goes.

  Deep on the ocean floor, the lava flows.

  from Sentenced to Life

  To Prue

  If you’re the dreamer, I’m your dream, but when

  You wish to wake I am your wish, and grow

  As mighty as all mastery, and then

  As silent as a star

  Ablaze above the city that we know

  As Time: so very strange, so very far.

  Sentenced to Life

  Sentenced to life, I sleep face-up as though

  Ice-bound, lest I should cough the night away,

  And when I walk the mile to town, I show

  The right technique for wading through deep clay.

  A sad man, sorrier than he can say.

  But surely not so guilty he should die

  Each day from knowing that his race is run:

  My sin was to be faithless. I would lie

  As if I could be true to everyone

  At once, and all the damage that was done

  Was in the name of love, or so I thought.

  I might have met my death believing this,

  But no, there was a lesson to be taught.

  Now, not just old, but ill, with much amiss,

  I see things with a whole new emphasis.

  My daughter’s garden has a goldfish pool

  With six fish, each a little finger long.

  I stand and watch them following their rule

  Of never touching, never going wrong:

  Trajectories as perfect as plain song.

  Once, I would not have noticed; nor have known

  The name for Japanese anemones,

  So pale, so frail. But now I catch the tone

  Of leaves. No birds can touch down in the trees

  Without my seeing them. I count the bees.

  Even my memories are clearly seen:

  Whence comes the answer if I’m told I must

  Be aching for my homeland. Had I been

  Dulled in the brain to match my lungs of dust

  There’d be no recollection I could trust.

  Yet I, despite my guilt, despite my grief,

  Watch the Pacific sunset, heaven sent,

  In glowing colours and in sharp relief,

  Painting the white clouds when the day is spent,

  As if it were my will and testament –

  As if my first impressions were my last,

  And time had only made them more defined,

  Now I am weak. The sky is overcast

  Here in the English autumn, but my mind

  Basks in the light I never left behind.

  Driftwood Houses

  The ne plus ultra of our lying down,

  Skeleton riders see the planet peeled

  Into their helmets by a knife of light.

  Just so, I stare into the racing field

  Of ice as I lie on my side and fight

  To cough up muck. This bumpy slide downhill

  Leads from my bed to where I’m bound to drown

  At this rate. I get up and take a walk,

  Lean on the balustrade and breathe my fill

  At last. The wooden stairs down to the hall

  Stop shaking. Enough said. To hear me talk

  You’d think I found my fate sad. Hardly that:

  All that has happened is I’ve hit the wall.

  Disintegration is appropriate,

  As once, on our French beach, I built, each year,

  Among the rocks below the esplanade,

  Houses from driftwood for our girls to roof

  With towels so they could hide there in the shade

  With ice creams that would melt more slowly. Proof

  That nothing built can be forever here

  Lay in the way those frail and crooked frames

  Were undone by a storm-enhanced high tide

  And vanished. It was time, and anyhow

  Our daughters were not short of other games

  Which were all theirs, and not geared to my pride.

  And here they come. They’re gathering shells again.

  And you in your straw hat, I see you now,

  As I lie restless yet most blessed of men.

  Landfall

  Hard to believe, now, that I once was free

  From pills in heaps, blood tests, X-rays and scans.

  No pipes or tubes. At perfect liberty,

  I stained my diary with travel plans.

  The ticket paid for
at the other end,

  I packed a hold-all and went anywhere

  They asked me. One on whom you could depend

  To show up, I would cross the world by air

  And come down neatly in some crowded hall.

  I stood for a full hour to give my spiel.

  Here, I might talk back to a nuisance call,

  And that’s my flight of eloquence. Unreal:

  But those years in the clear, how real were they,

  When all the sirens in the signing queue

  Who clutched their hearts at what I had to say

  Were just dreams, even when the dream came true?

  I called it health but never stopped to think

  It might have been a kind of weightlessness,

  That footloose feeling always on the brink

  Of breakdown: the false freedom of excess.

  Rarely at home in those days, I’m home now,

  Where few will look at me with shining eyes.

  Perhaps none ever did, and that was how

  The fantasy of young strength that now dies

  Expressed itself. The face that smiled at mine

  Out of the looking glass was seeing things.

  Today I am restored by my decline

  And by the harsh awakening it brings.

  I was born weak and always have been weak.

  I came home and was taken into care.

  A cot-case, but at long last I can speak:

  I am here now, who was hardly even there.

  Early to Bed

  Old age is not my problem. Bad health, yes.

  If I were well again, I’d walk for miles,

  My name a synonym for tirelessness.

  On Friday nights I’d go out on the tiles:

  I’d go to tango joints and stand up straight

  While women leaned against me trustingly,

  I’d push them backward at a stately rate

  With steps of eloquence and intricacy.

  Alone in the café, my favourite place,

  I’d sit up late to carve a verse like this.

 

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