Zero F*cks: a standalone novel

by LK Collins

“Oh my God, Nixon, I haven’t been here since…” she trails off and then says, “If Conner finds out we came here without him, he’s gonna be pissed.”

  “Oh, he’ll be fine. The food on the ship isn’t that bad. Plus, he’ll be home pretty soon and we can take him here every day if he wants.”

  She smiles as we sit inside of the tiny diner that we used to hang out in after school all the time. They have the best greasy food in town and I can tell that she’s hanging and needs the pick me up.

  “Whatcha thinking about?” I ask as she stares out the wall of windows.

  “What do you think Conner’s gonna end up doing?”

  “What do you mean, babe?”

  “After this tour, you think he’ll serve another one and keep risking his life? I mean, I couldn’t imagine doing something that put me at risk every day.”

  I chuckle at her comment. “You do. Every day you jump out of that helicopter, you are risking your life.”

  “But it’s not the same. I’m jumping into the ocean with protective gear and I have a capable crew above me that would never let anything happen to me.”

  “Conner does the same thing. The situations he goes into, yeah, they are dangerous, but they are more thought out and planned than what you could even imagine.”

  “I’m worried about him. I miss him.”

  “I’m sure you do, but he’s smart. He’ll be okay, I promise.”

  She smiles and orders when the waitress walks up. I hate seeing her stress about him. I’ll do anything I can to ease her worries and make her smile.

  Chapter 23

  Cameron

  “You’re not gonna surf?” I ask Nixon as I wake up from zonking out on the beach. The hot sun calms me, warming me from the inside out. “Nah, I’m good right here,” he says and leans down kissing me. Then I look out at the waves as they crash onto the shore.

  “How long was I out?” I ask.

  “Not long, maybe thirty minutes,” he says and pulls me close to him. Laying my head on his lap, I love it when he holds me.

  “What do you want to do tonight?” I ask.

  “I don’t care.”

  “I can cook for your sexy ass?” I ask him.

  “Only if you make me lobster.”

  “Is that really all you like to eat?”

  “That and you.”

  I chuckle and he cups my cheek, still looking out at the water. “You good?” I ask, sensing a strange vibe.

  “Absofuckinglutely. Why you ask?”

  “You’re not surfin’.”

  “I was enjoying my time with you—watching the ocean—thinking.”

  “Okay,” I tell him loving how sweet he’s been. “Do you have a steamer?”

  “For clothes?”

  “No, silly, for the kitchen.”

  “Nah. I’ve got like a few pots and pans, I think.”

  “Well, if I’m cooking for you, then it’s gonna be at my house.”

  “That’s cool, I love your place.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, I mean anywhere you are, I’m good.”

  “Me too.” I tell him and then ask, “Do you wanna cool down in the water?”

  “Sure, baby.”

  We both get up and walk hand in hand down to the edge. The waves hit our feet and as we continue on, he lifts me up, cradling my body against his chest. I wrap my arms around his neck and let him carry me into the ocean. In this moment, right now, everything is perfect. Getting back with him is what I always dreamed would happen. Even with the guilt suspended over my head that I’ve hurt Luke, knowing that Nixon and I are solid and nothing is going to change that, is settling. And what’s best of all, I can see the old Nixon shining through. Day after day, I’m getting glimpses of the man I lost. The man I thought I’d never get to have a second chance with, and now, here we are, with nothing but a clean slate ahead of us.

  ***

  “Come on, Nix, the market closes in fifteen minutes,” I holler out as I buckle the strap to my sandal. He comes out of the closet pulling a t-shirt over his head and says, “Don’t be a nag. It’s not the only place in town that sells lobsters.”

  “It is if you want them fresh from the ocean today. Trust me, those other places pack them in the tanks and keep ‘em in there for weeks and it makes them taste strange. Now, we both know how much of a seafood snob you are, so let’s go.”

  “Fair enough,” he says sliding on his flip-flops and grabbing his bag of work clothes that he packed for tomorrow.

  “Let’s go, you diva!” he hollers at me and I grab my phone with a smile, loving his goofiness and run off towards him. “And you were yelling at me?” he says as I breeze past him and hop in his truck.

  On the drive, he asks me, “What are you making for sides?”

  “I was thinking of mashed potatoes and asparagus.”

  “Please no asparagus,” he says.

  “Why? You used to love it.”

  “Yes, key words being, ‘used to.’ For some reason it was something that they always served on the ship and after eating if for so many years straight, I’m done.”

  “I still can’t believe how long you were gone for.”

  He looks over at me, his expression plagued with pain as he says, “I’m sorry again for—”

  I cut him off, “Don’t be,” I tell him, “I don’t want to live anymore looking back. I want to move forward and take things as they come, like we have been. One moment at a time. It’s worked this far, right?”

  “Right,” he agrees and grabs my hand, wanting to tell me more, but clearly it’s the regret of the past eating him up and he needs to let it go.

  “Come on, let’s go snag you some lobsters.” He smirks and we hop out, running in and picking the perfect lobsters before the place closes. Then on the way back to my place, we stop at a grocery store to get everything else we need for dinner.

  After we checkout, he loads everything into his truck and seems perfectly content as we head to my place for our feast. Nixon parks on the street in front of my condo and grabs everything before we head in. I smirk looking back at his arms so full, but he’s determined like that. He wouldn’t let me take in a single thing.

  As he sets everything down in the kitchen, I begin to unpack the bags and when I find what he bought for his side, I literally laugh out loud. “Seriously,” I yell, holding up the deli container of imitation lobster pasta salad.

  “Aww yeah, Cam, fuck yes, I’m serious.” He takes it out of my hand and grabs a fork. “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

  “It looks gross, and you know that lobster’s fake,” I tell him as he lifts a forkful to my mouth.

  “Just eat it.”

  I oblige his request and even though it looks hideous, it really has some flavor. “It’s good, huh?” he asks

  “Yeah, it’s not bad.”

  “See, told ya so. It’s like a book—you can’t judge it by its cover.”

  “Look at you getting all poetic and shit.”

  He spanks me and then opens a bottle of wine that he must’ve slipped in at the end of the shopping trip. As I dice the potatoes, he pours us each a glass, then hands me mine and lifts his. “To a wonderful dinner with my amazing girl.”

  We clink glasses. Then as I take a sip, I pull out the box of cake mix. Nixon ogles it and says, “God, how do you know me so well?”

  “Uh…chocolate and lobster…it’s not that hard.”

  He kisses me and says, “How can I help?” I direct him what to do, but I can’t shake Luke from my mind, I feel bad…I really do. So I ask Nixon as I prepare the cake, “Why do you think Luke is acting the way he is? We were such good friends, I don’t get it.”

  “It’s your pussy, Cam. It’s a fucking gold mine. It’ll make a man do crazy shit.”

  “Shut up,” I tell him and gaze into his eyes, but he’s not joking.

  “See, this is why you don’t sleep with your
friends.”

  “I slept with you when you were my friend and look where we are now.”

  “I’m the exception to the rule.” He cups my face and asks me, “Do you wanna know a secret?”

  “Sure.” I nuzzle back against his palm and look into his clear blue eyes as he says to me, “When I was gone, every single time I jerked off, all I thought about was you.”

  “Really?” I’m shocked. The confession as raw as it is, is so fucking sweet.

  “Uh-huh.”

  Sliding to the floor, I kneel in front of him and unzip his shorts. His cock is hard and I lick my lips, stroking him before I make a move. He reaches down and takes one of my nipples in between his fingers and then says to me, “You gonna suck me real good?”

  I don’t answer with words, instead I dip my finger into the bowl of cake batter and drizzle it on his shaft. Then respond with my lips, shaping them securely around him, and eagerly eat him and the sugary sweetness up. Tasting every bit of his hard cock, while I possess and own every single second of our time together.

  Chapter 24

  Nixon

  Cameron sucks me dry, swallowing every last drop of cum. Licking her lips, she pulls away satisfied, as she should be. Then she slowly removes her panties, tossing them back to me and I place them in my pocket—they’re mine; she’s never getting them back.

  My cock is still hard, eager to get inside her sweet cunt. I lift her dress, looking beneath it at her ass as she backs up on me. Standing up, I slip right inside her and she gasps from the fullness.

  Fuck!

  I don’t move, letting her work me. My hands are beneath her dress bracing her hips, guiding her. Squeezing her sides, she grips the other countertop, and I move her faster, but suddenly she stops.

  “Don’t,” she breathes, “or I’ll come.”

  “See how it feels?”

  However, I can’t stop myself—she’s moaning and I can’t reach to cover her mouth. As I pull out of her, she stands up and her dress falls into place. I lift her up and toss her onto the first surface I see. She laughs as she lands on the couch, looking up at me with her legs slacked to the sides, and I yank her hips over the arm and slam back into her.

  “Oh God!” she cries out, and I fuck her hard. Moving so quickly my balls sting. She writhes under my control, my cock giving her body pleasure. I begin to sweat and tear my t-shirt off above my head.

  “You like being fucked hard?”

  “Yes, Nixon!” she cries out and then says, “Right there, don’t stop.”

  Her eyes are fixated on mine and I’m lost in hers, watching the way they constrict and expand as she prepares to let go. But when she does, she closes them, and my name expels from her lips. The simple sound of it alone causes me to let go, another fast and hard orgasm. This is what Cameron does to me.

  With my cock still inside her, I lean down and kiss her tenderly. “That was so good. Thank you,” I tell her and she nods. “You okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah, I’m exhausted and don’t feel like cooking anymore. That was so good.”

  “You wanna order in?” I ask her and readjust myself back into my shorts.

  “If you’re okay with that.”

  “I’m cool with whatever you want, babe.” I turn the water off, still boiling on the stove. “But you still have to bake my cake.”

  Looking outside, it’s starting to rain. I grab our glasses and the wine bottle, bringing them to the couch. As I hand hers to her, she flips the TV on and there is breaking news of two new storms that are developing off the coast of Africa. Both are projected to head right towards Florida.

  “Surfing should be epic,” I tell her and sit down with a smile on my face, pulling her feet onto my lap. I search my phone for what we can order in.

  “That’s one plus, but work will suck.”

  “Yeah?” I question her, not having gone through a storm being in the Coast Guard yet.

  “Yeah, it sucks working in the weather, and we get so many more calls.”

  “Well, at least we get to do it together,” I tell her.

  “That’s true, but Luke will be there, and God, I hope he doesn’t make things awkward.”

  “He’ll be fine; give him a few days,” I tell her, hating how stressed he makes her. He better not make shit awkward, ‘cause if he does, I’ll set him straight, that’s for damn sure. I’m done living with regrets. I did that shit for far too fucking long. He needs to be a man and stop acting like a fucking baby.

  ***

  “On a positive note, at least we get to drive into work together now.”

  Cameron gives me a small smile, her typical positivity in the mornings is gone. Replaced with the stress of seeing Luke. “Babe, don’t let him bring you down.”

  “I’m trying,” she says and gets out of my truck as we walk. Taking my hand, I wrap it around hers, and she looks down at our intertwined fingers, then stops. “Do you have to rub it in?” she asks me.

  “I’m not rubbing anything in. I’m just not hiding what we are.”

  She accepts my answer and we continue on. I don’t let her hand slip from my hold, and walking in, I can sense everyone looking at us. I’ve got to admit, it feels fucking good. Right away, I spot Guy and Luke talking, and when Luke sees us, he bails, heading outside to the helicopter.

  Seriously?

  Cameron lets go of my hand, and as we walk up to Guy he says to us, “Did you really have to walk in holding hands?”

  “What did you expect us to do?” I ask Guy, a little peeved that Luke is acting like such a bitch.

  “He’s sensitive, you both know that. Don’t throw it in his face.”

  “I’ll talk to him,” Cam says and walks off, heading right towards Luke.

  “What’d he say?” I ask Guy, hoping that maybe I can get a read on things to squash this bullshit once and for all.

  “He’s broken up, man.”

  “I don’t get that. She never acted like she was into him.”

  “But she slept with him.”

  “He told you?” I’m a little agitated by this revelation, but I guess it’s no secret.

  “Yeah. I don’t know what to do, Nixon, but I can tell you this: our team is gonna crumble faster than you can blink if we don’t make this right.”

  I scoff at Guy, “I mean, one lapse in judgment and now he’s head over heels. Seems a little crazy to me. He’s the one doing this, not me. If you expect me to not act like I’m with Cam, for the sake of him, it’s not gonna happen.”

  “No, man, that’s not what I’m asking. Could ya keep things cool and maybe not rub it in his face?”

  “Of course,” I respond as Cameron storms back over to us pissed off, her face red as she shakes her head. “He’s like a fuckin’ child,” she blurts out.

  “What happened?” I ask, agitated, watching him through the windshield as he sits in the cockpit.

  “He’s being a fucking bitch.”

  “Whoa, why the language?” Mack asks, walking up to the three of us.

  “Nothing, it’s nothing,” Cameron shrieks and as I stand here, I find my fists clenched at my sides and my eyes on him. He wants to act like a little bitch, then I’ll give him an ass whoopin’ like one.

  Chapter 25

  Cameron

  “Do you think it’s weird I haven’t heard from Conner?” I ask Nixon.

  “No, babe, I’m sure he’s busy. He’ll call when he can.”

  I nod, knowing he’s right, and fill the dishwasher with the dirty dishes from our dinner. “Luke seemed better today,” Nixon says to me and I roll my eyes.

  “Why, because he actually said ‘bye’ when we left tonight? It’s been a fucking week. He should be over it by now, but he’s still acting like his dog died.”

  Nixon laughs at my words, and I shrug my shoulders. “What? It’s true.”

  “I know, it was funny the way you said it.”

  “Maybe we should put in for a
transfer?” I suggest and immediately he shuts the option down.

  “No way,” he says and I start the dishwasher. Nixon’s phone rings and he tells me, “I’m not risking us getting split up.” He looks at the screen, then says, “It’s my aunt. Hello?” he answers and nods his head as he speaks. “Yeah, I don’t mind at all. Of course, let me know how things go. Tell her good luck. Love you too.”

  He hangs up and says to me, “Rhonda’s water broke, so she’s headed to the hospital, and my aunt needs someone to watch Scoundrel.”

  “Holy shit, that dog is still alive?”

  “Oh yeah, and wait ‘til you see him, he looks exactly the same.”

  “We gonna stay there?” I ask Nixon.

  “Yeah, you cool with that?”

  “Of course, I mean, we did grow up in that house, so it’ll be a time warp, that’s for sure.”

  “I can’t wait to fuck you in her kitchen again.”

  I smirk and walk off to pack a bag. Nixon yells after me, “I’m gonna take my stuff to the car, okay?”

  “Sure, babe.”

  After I’m all packed, we make the short trip inland to his aunt’s house and the moment he parks his truck in front of her 1970’s-style retro house, I’m totally taken back. Nixon used to spend all his time here. Since his dad was in the military, his mom hated to be home alone and basically moved them in. Conner and I lived at the end of the block. Conner always had a crush on Rhonda, but she was too old for him.

  “Do you remember when Conner broke his arm falling off his skateboard out here?” I ask him.

  “Oh my God, he screamed like a girl,” he says and we both bust out laughing.

  Getting out of the truck, I look up at the house, where so many memories from our childhood took place. We walk up to the front door and Nixon stoops down to lift a small plant, where his aunt still leaves a key. He opens the door after struggling with the lock for like five minutes. The little dog greets us with an excited look, and Nixon was right, he looks the same. “Hey, buddy,” I say to him and lean down, petting his straggly fur. He sits his butt right down and Nixon scratches his head too, then goes into the kitchen. “You hungry, Scoundrel?” he calls out and I lead him into where Nixon is as he fills his bowl with a fresh cup of food.